Through The Lens (31 page)

“I don’t think he did
it.  But he blew me off when I was worried.  What if he’d taken me seriously? 
What if that was the difference in finding her alive or dead.”

We didn’t talk for the
rest of the ride.  I did thank her for her help last night and for the rescue
today.

“What are friends for?”
she said, giving me as much of a hug as you can in a car.  Then she left.  I
spent the rest of the day after showering doing my homework.  I tried not to
think.  I ignored Ethan’s text and a final email before he seemed to give up.

I didn’t read any of
it, afraid he’d sway me.  Instead, I lay on my bed after ten, wishing for sleep
and putting all the pieces together.  Was he really culpable?  Did he have a
motive?  What were the other things cops looked for on the TV shows?  Motive
and opportunity, did he have both?  Most of all, did I trust him?

Tossing and turning all
night, I woke early.  I made my escape from the house and safely to Bradley’s
before anyone could ambush me.  I avoided my parents due to my own guilt.  I’d
gotten a pass from Sunday dinner when I feigned sleep.  I avoided Jenna because
she was still on my shit list.  Kyle would have seen right through me since our
relationship had grown closer.  I might just have told him.  I avoided the
possibility of Ethan showing up at my door.  He’d done it before; granted I
wasn’t mad at him.  But I wouldn’t put it past him.

Bradley had heard
everything from Madison, and good for them, they were talking.  He only asked
if I wanted to talk about it.  When I shook my head no, he let it be.

Ethan did not stalk me
in the halls in the morning, and he wasn’t in the class we shared together.  My
worry and keeping a lookout gave me my answer.  I did trust him.  I needed to
tell him that.  Thinking that texting was not the best way, I decided I would
borrow my car after school while my siblings were at practice and go see him.

Fate had other plans. 
Ethan showed up for our last period class just as the bell rang.  I was giving
him all my attention as he sat, when a knock came at the door.  Mr. Miller
walked over and had a hushed conversation with the principal.  My heart stopped
at seeing the officers behind him.  Mr. Miller said, “Ethan, could you come
outside.”

He looked at me with an
expression void of any emotion before he turned away.  I was so stunned I
hadn’t managed to give him a smile or anything to show I supported him.  While
Mr. Miller spoke to the group outside, I left my chair.  I moved slowly at
first.  When Mr. Miller made his way back in the classroom, my feet turned into
a trot and then a run as I burst through the classroom door. 

Hands in cuffs, Ethan
was being led down the hallway. In a strangled voice, I cried out, “Ethan, I
believe you.”

He turned, and the
officer on his left, because there were two like he was some hardened criminal,
said, “Why don’t you get your boyfriend here to tell us where your classmate
Lucy is?” My breath hitched in my throat.  Lucy was missing, too. 

A third officer, who
was near the door I just exited, walked over to me after admonishing the other
guy, “Pete. keep your mouth closed, I’ll handle this.”

With a notepad in his
hand, he said, “What is your name?”

Shock plays itself out
differently in everyone, I would learn later. “Jessica Shelby,” I responded, my
eye never leaving Ethan’s retreating form. “When did Lucy go missing?” I asked,
still not looking at the guy.

“I really shouldn’t
say, but I’m sure you will hear this much.  She’s been missing since this
weekend.”

That is when I turned
to meet the gray eyes of a detective.  That’s what he must have been.  He
wasn’t wearing a uniform, and a badge was clipped to his waistband.  The suit
jacket wasn’t covering it, because of his hand on his hip.

“I was with him this
weekend, he couldn’t have done it,” I blurted.

“Ms. Shelby, I can’t
take a formal statement from you without your parents present.  Are you willing
to admit to this later in their presence?”  Clearly, he didn’t believe me.  He
thought I might back down if I had to.

“Yes,” I said.

“Fine, when will your
parents be at home?” he asked.

“After six,” I said.

He asked, and I gave
him the address to my house.  He promised to see them later.  I wanted to leave
school, but Mr. Miller was there, waving me back into class.

To say we did nothing
is an understatement.  Mr. Miller tried to get us focused, but everyone was
talking except for me.  I heard what they were saying.  So I knew they hadn’t
heard what happened in the hallway, but that didn’t stop them from speculating.

When class was over,
Mr. Miller asked me to stay.  Then he asked me to give him a minute.  So I sat
in his office chair, purely because I couldn’t stand.  The weight of all the
things happening pressed on me.  I would have to admit to lying to my parents
to their face.  I was sure I would be grounded for life, but that didn’t matter
if I cleared Ethan of something he didn’t do.

My fingers played with
the pictures on Mr. Miller’s desk.  I didn’t even really see them.  I would be
scrutinized about my relationship with Ethan.  Sex was going to come up.  This
was going to be awful but worth it.

“Jessica,” Mr. Miller
said.  I pulled my hands in my lap, and he sat on the corner of his desk.  “I’m
worried about Ethan as much as you are.  He’s a good kid. I’ve known him a
while, and he’s had some tough breaks.”  He paused, and that had me looking at
him.  His face was grim. “I heard you tell them that he was with you this
weekend.  I want you to think if there is a way to prove that.  You’re his
girlfriend.  So they won’t put much stock into your story.”

Fear coursed through
me.  Of course, he was right.  That’s how it happened in all the movies.  My
face snapped back to his after my mind wandered. “I have pictures of our time
together this weekend,” I blurted. 

Mr. Milled smiled.
“That could work.  Are they timed stamped?”

My face fell. “No, it’s
an original SLR camera not a digital model.”

He frowned, putting his
hand under his chin like in deep thought.  “If you got a picture of a newspaper
article or TV show in one of your shots.”

I shook my head. “I
don’t think so.”

“Don’t give up,” he
said. With weary eyes, he said, “You should give them your camera anyway if the
film is still in there.  That way the evidence isn’t tainted.” 

Jumping up, I said,
“Yes.”

“Do you need a ride
home?  I know Ethan usually took you home after Yearbook Club,” he asked.

“No,” I said. “I’ve got
to go get my camera.”

“Oh, it’s at Ethan’s?”
he said.

“Yes, I left it there.”

“I suggest you hurry
then.  They will surely search his house and confiscate everything.  Once they
have it, you may not persuade them to look at it. And don’t worry.  He’ll
probably be out within the hour.  I’m sure his mother would have called a
lawyer for him.”

Nodding, I left.  I
thought that it was surely a stroke of luck that his mother was in town, if she
was still here.

Texting my brother, I
let him know I was borrowing the car and for him to see if he and Jenna could
get a ride home.  Otherwise, I would come back and pick them up.  I would leave
it to him to pass the word to my sister to whom I still wasn’t speaking.

The day was gloomy all
around.  The clouds were thick and heavy in the air.  The rain came hard and
fast by the time I parked in his driveway.  With no umbrella, I made a mad dash
out back to the bunker.  I was soaking wet, so it was hard to get a purchase on
the wheel that I needed to turn to open it.  It creaked, and my hands slipped
in protest when I spun it to open the lock.  The door seemed to weigh a ton as
I lifted it open. 

It felt like everything
rode on my pictures.  I didn’t think I had anything to corroborate the date. 
But the significance of his father’s one-year anniversary of his death, and my
lying about where I was should hold up as some proof.

Nearly breaking my neck
while descending underground, I felt a tiny bit of doubt that said I didn’t
know when Lucy went missing exactly. I shook that thought away, getting the
shivers in the cold air of the bunker we’d turned into a lab.  Pushing wet hair
out of my eyes, I moved with squishy feet to get to my camera.  Even with the
door open, the place was heavy with shadow, not giving much light.  Finding my
camera on a shelf, I pulled the straps around my neck so my hands would be free
to climb the ladder.  No need for lights at this point, I just wanted to get
home.  The weight around my neck could be all that exonerated Ethan. 

Sliding on the floor
when I swiveled to head back the way I’d come, I didn’t expect a dark shape to
grip my hair and violently toss me to the ground.  My head hit the floor so
brutally I saw spots in my vision.  My attacker had yet to speak.  My breath
gone from my lungs, I sucked in deep. 

My thoughts were a
whirlwind, I hadn’t heard anyone come down.  Dazed from my face planted on the
ground, I didn’t muster to fight right away when a knee kicked between my legs
to spread them.  I was wearing jeans; nevertheless that didn’t stop the cry
that escaped my throat.  With a fistful of my hair, my attacker slammed my face
into the ground

Before I could see, the
strap of my camera tightened around my neck.  Jerked around so my back was to
the ground, I felt the breath of my would-be killer on my face.  Trying to
breathe and fight with my hands, I managed to scratch the person’s face.  I
kicked before a weight settled on my legs.  I was pinned much like a wrestler
pins their opponent.  A hiss preceded my hands being forced over my head.

A knock at my temple
stopped my struggle.  I felt like giving into the pull of oblivion.   It would
be so easy.  Stars spun orbiting my eyes, and tears ran from the pain.  There
was no holding them back.  The straps of the camera continued to cut off the
little air to nothingness.  Twisting my head trying to find space to breathe, I
gasped and choked. Darkness began to overtake the stars.

I was going to die
here.  Even when I was spun around on my back, my tears, the stars, and the
darkness didn’t allow me to see my enemy.  Still, I thought for sure I knew who
it was.

The peace in the
knowing who did this was only eclipsed by the wonder if my family would find
the truth.  Would they even find my body? 

When the pressure moved
from away from my throat and off me, it didn’t matter.  I wanted to breathe
when I heard a faint crash somewhere in the distance.  I wanted to call out
when objects rained down like the storm above.  I felt tiny bits of water pelt
over me just as I felt myself slip into the void.

The beeps and blips didn’t seem
heavenly, so I opened my eyes.  Blinking a bit against the sudden brightness, I
think I groaned.  My parents immediately came into view.

“Mom, Dad,” I croaked.

My Mom’s face coalesced
into a mass of bright red.  She’d been crying.  Her eyes were puffy.  My father
looked as though he’d aged.  They held each other murmuring things like
we’re
so happy you’re back with us, we couldn’t have lost you, and do you need
anything
?

Believe me, I was
grateful to be among the living.  Something else bothered me a bit more.
“Ethan,” I cried out.  Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. My Mom buried
her face in my father’s chest as he wrapped his arms around her.  Undeterred, I
mustered a forceful tone, “Ethan.”

A nurse walked in. “She
really shouldn’t be upset.” The beeps seemed to grow faster in the background.
“She needs to remain calm.  You should consider.”

“Ethan,” I screamed, my
voice dry burned from the yell I managed. 

And there he was.  He
too looked haggard.  His hair appeared longer.  How long had I been out?

The nurse looked at my
parents who didn’t like that Ethan barged in. “He has been waiting like you. 
And she seems to want to talk to him.  Perhaps if you give them five minutes. It
will calm her.”

My Dad looked at Ethan
and said, “We’re going to get coffee and we will be right back.”

My Dad wasn’t happy. 
But he and my Mom left.  It was after they stepped away, I saw Kyle and Jenna
sitting on a sofa in the room that appeared fairly large.  They followed suit. 
Jenna’s eyes too were red, but she didn’t look at me.  Not directly.  Kyle
stepped over and playfully tapped my shoulder with his fist.  Silently, he was
telling me he missed me.

When we were alone,
Ethan looked at me. “I’m sorry, Jess.”

“It’s not your fault,”
I croaked. 

He reached behind him
to a table and poured me a cup of water.  With a straw, he offered it to me. 
There is nothing like cold water going down when your throat is dry.

“If I’d cooperated
earlier, they wouldn’t have gotten an arrest order and taken me.  Then you
wouldn’t have been down there.”

“You stopped him,” I
asked.  My voice sounded more like me now.