Through The Lens (16 page)

“Crazy night.  We
partied, and Ethan got really drunk.  So did I.  Carly told us that she’d
gotten a big part for a movie and would be leaving for good.  She was moving to
Hollywood.  Ethan was devastated.  Carly got drunk, too, and kept Ethan crazy
by dancing with other guys.  And I tried to console him,” she said.   Her story
seemed a little sad.  I got the feeling that maybe Allie liked Ethan long
before they go together, and her emotions then were kind of like how I’d
crushed on him. “He kept pressing her, and she kept pushing him away.  He was a
goner by the time we all piled in the car.  It is a testament that we all
didn’t die that night.”

“What happened?” I
asked, prodding her.  Hoping she’d continue the story.

“A tree, or rather
Ethan hitting it nearly killed us.”  I wanted to say, ‘
No Ethan did’
,
but I kept my mouth closed. “After it happened, I got out of the car and threw
up.  Sam was there to rub my back.  Then Ethan and Carly got out.  He tried to
help her, but she was pissed and pissy drunk.  She’d shouted at him to leave
her alone that they were through.  She told him that the rumors were true.  She
and her co-star were together and that Ethan needed to move on with his life.”

Feeling the rage for
him, I bundled my fist in my lap. “She began to stump toward the woods that
edged the road we had been on.  I tried to follow her, thinking that she would
need someone to talk to.  That’s when she aimed her poison at me.  She told me
she’d be fine.  She didn’t need me anymore to be her shadow.  That I was
nothing but a leech trying to milk my own roles from her success.”

Allie got quiet.  Her
last words were said with an undercurrent of old anger and resentment. Her next
words, however, were barely more than a whisper.  “So we let her go.  I watched
her walk into those woods and never saw her again.”

My hand went to cover
hers.  Yet she patted mine like I was the one that needed consoling. “I better
get back.  You should forgive him. He’s going to need a friend.  And I know I
can trust to you be just that.”  I’d gotten the subtle hint.  She wanted me to
be there for him, but only as a friend. Maybe he had told her about the kiss.

She left after a hug. 
I never got out of her what Ethan had told her exactly.  And I hadn’t told her
about the kiss to make sure.  How could I after all that?  It seemed so
insignificant to that story.  Ethan had been wronged just like Allie said. 
First his father’s suicide, then his mother’s departure, Carly’s breakup and
disappearance, and now Allie was leaving him, too.   It was just a stupid
drunken kiss.  It probably meant nothing.

I looked at my watch. 
It was only eleven.  I was supposed to spend the night with Allie.  At least
that’s what I told my parents so that I wouldn’t break curfew.  Now, I just
needed to go.  Allie was leaving, and Ethan and she needed time alone.  I
couldn’t call Madison because her shift wasn’t over. She wasn’t allowed to talk
on the phone.  So I called Bradley

It was an option for me
to go back to the party. I walked around Ethan’s room instead.  On his shelf
above his desk, there were trophies.  On closer inspection, he had awards in
football, lacrosse and track.  He’d been an athlete through last year. 

When my phone buzzed, I
knew it was Bradley.  I checked anyway.  He was here.  I headed out of the
room, locking it in my wake.  On my way down the stairs, I saw Bradley talking
to some guy.  Trying to push stupid thoughts out of my head, I searched for
Allie first.  Again, she was in a cluster of people.  I walked over and tapped
her on her back. 

“I’m headed home.
You’re going to be great,” I said in her ear. 

She nodded.  “I’m going
to miss you,” she said.

We parted ways, and I
wondered if I would see her again.  There were no false promises in our goodbye
about keeping in touch.  Allie would be busy in her world.  One thing my mother
told me was that sometimes you had friends for a season and others may be
friends for life. I’d count myself lucky for having Allie for the summer.

Bradley was grinning at
something the guy he was talking to said when I walked up.  “I have a
girlfriend,” he said, putting his arm around me.  The guy who was too hot for
words looked supremely disappointed.

“Too bad,” the guy said
before strolling away.  I could swear the guy had a sashay in his step. 

Shaking my head, I led
Bradley away even though his arm was around me.  In my peripheral, I caught
Ethan off to the side, watching me leave.  I thought about Allie’s words
regarding everyone leaving him, but there was nothing to be done about it.

Out in the night, I
followed Bradley over to his hybrid Ford Fusion.  It was sleek and all black. 
Bradley was very spoiled, and his stance on clean energy and his job had landed
him in a brand new car this year.  It had to help that he was an only child and
a shoo-in for a full scholarship to the college of his choice.  Some people had
all the luck.

“So what happened?” he
asked once we were on the road home.

I told him everything. 
He and I didn’t have secrets between us that I knew of.  Began with my date
with Josh and ended tonight.  We were parked in front of his house by the time
I finished.

“Jess, you had more
drama than a Shakespeare’s play.”

“Tell me about it,” I
said. “So, what do you think?”

“I think, you should be
cautious of Josh,” he said.  That stung a little, but I’d been thinking the
same thing.  He knew all about my crush and Josh’s crush on Jenna.  “It could
be nothing, but I don’t want you to get hurt.” I nodded.  “I don’t know what to
say about this Ethan guy.  It sounds like he likes you.”

Ordinarily, I’d be
happy to hear that about a guy I thought was cute.  But this was different. 
“And it sounds like he and Allie’s relationship is either really complicated or
not at all what you think it is.”

Propping my arms on my
knees, I buried my face in my hands.  Bradley’s hand rubbed at my back.  “It
could be worse.”  I sat up and stared at him. “It’s true.  Allie could have
come in and accused you of manstealing.”

Raising my eyebrows at
his choice of words, I agreed to that fact.  “Okay, but what am I to do now?” I
asked.

“What does your gut
say?” he asked.

Taking a second to
think, I replied, “That I should give Josh a chance and remain friends with
Ethan.”

“There’s your answer
then.  It’s not good to judge rashly.”

His statement was so
true.  “I don’t think you should tell her,” I blurted.  He went stiff.  I knew
I caught him off guard. “I know what I said before.  But honestly when I came
downstairs and saw you talking to that guy, my mind wondered for the briefest
second if you were flirting.  I immediately blew it off because I trust you. 
So I found Allie instead to say goodbye.  Madison shouldn’t have those second
thoughts, even if they are fleeting.  If you truly believe she is your future,
why spoil her thoughts on something that’s never going to come to pass.”

“I’m not interested in
every guy I see, Jess.  In fact, I’m not interested in anyone besides Madison.”

“I know, and I feel
awful,” I admitted.

Sighing, he said, “You
have made some good points before.  I should trust Madison with the truth.  But
I’ll think about it.”  Nodding, I looked out into the quiet street.  Nothing
was stirring at this late hour in our neighborhood.  “Are you ready to go
home?”

Huffing out a breath, I
said, “Not really.  I don’t want to have to explain to Mom and Dad why I didn’t
stay with Allie.  I’d have to think of a lie, and I’m not very good at lying.”

“You can stay with me
tonight,” he said.

Even though Bradley and
I were the best of friends since we were little, I never stayed overnight with
him or any boy.  “Won’t we get caught?” His mother may have liked me a lot, but
I doubt she’d be happy to find out that I’d slept over.

“They won’t ever know. 
My parents are probably sleeping.  We just have to make sure you get out early
or pretend you came over early.”

Conspiratorially, we
got out of his car and crept up to his house like thieves.  Giggling, it was
just all too silly.  If our parents knew that nothing would ever happen between
the two of us, they might not worry about this particular event.

With a finger to his
lips, he let out a tiny “shhh” sound.  Opening the door, he exaggeratedly
whispered, “Wait here,” drawing out the words like he was speaking in a foreign
language that would allow me to understand what he was saying if he said it
slowly.

Catching another giggle
in my palm, I stayed outside as he closed the door.  Moments later, we tiptoed
into the house and up the stairs to his room.  Bradley’s room was still in a
state of disaster like the last time I saw it.  It differed greatly from
Ethan’s clean room.  But hadn’t Ethan mentioned something about a housekeeper?

Out of exhaustion, we
both tossed ourselves on top of his bed.  It creaked and groaned under our
combined weight.  We muffled laughs, and I pointed to the door.

“I locked it,” he said,
still whispering.

Flinging an arm over my
eyes, I lay on my back as the giggles died, and my predicament weighed on me.

Bradley rolled over on
his side and laid an arm around my waist.  “Get some sleep.  It will all work
itself out.”

It wasn’t long before
my eyes drifted shut, sleep claiming me.  The sun warm on my skin felt like a
kiss.  The memory of the one I had with Ethan woke me.  Rising off the bed like
I could levitate, I woke Bradley up. We both looked at the clock.  It was nine
in the morning.

“Crap,” I mouthed.

I got up, and Bradley
did, too.  He made it to the door before I could.  Peeking out, we stood still
to listen.  The house was quiet.  With two fingers, he pointed at me, then at
himself.  Then he formed, a fist and it all looked like something I’d seen the
Marines do in a movie.  I rolled my eyes at him, and he grinned.

Getting the drift, I
stepped outside his door first, and he followed.  I’d made it down two steps
when his mother stepped out of her room. “Brad, where are you going?” she
asked. “And is that Jessa?”

Caught red-handed, we
froze.  Bradley turned to his mother.  “Are you here for some guilt-free
breakfast, dear?  I know your mother is into all things healthy these days.”

“Yes, Mrs. Fisher,” I
said.

“I’m just getting up;
it will be a bit,” she said.

“No rush,” I said. 
Then I followed Bradley back to his room so it wouldn’t look suspicious about
what we’d been doing.

It had been a close call, but after a
breakfast full of useless calories that tasted scrumptious, I headed home. 
Doing homework, filling Madison in about my adventures excluding certain parts
of Brad’s and my conversation, I waited for my sister to get home.  She and I
had much to discuss.

It wasn’t until after
dinner that Jenna decided to grace her family with her presence.  I only knew
because I heard Dad murmur something to her before the thud of her door said
she was hiding in there.

Stepping out of my
room, I bumped into my father.  “Jess, baby.  I hardly see you anymore.”

Isn’t that what I’d
recently said to Madison? “I’ve been busy.  How is the attic cleaning coming?”
I’d meant to ask him about it.  But I knew enough not to do it in front of Mom. 

“Slowly,” he replied.
“How’s the camera working out?”

Brightening, I hadn’t
yet shown him the pictures I’d taken.  I walked in my room leaving the door
open so he would follow me inside.  Dad was good with boundaries.  He usually
left us our space and didn’t enter without permission.  I couldn’t say the same
for my mother.

Pulling out the
envelope, I handed the pictures Ethan had developed for me into his hands.

Slowly, he looked at
each one of them. “These are really good,” he said.  He held up one of the
pictures of the butterflies from the museum. “You have a really good eye for catching
great pictures.  It almost looks like they could fly right off the page.”

“Thanks,” I said,
feeling the heat from a blush creep across my face.

“These are really good,
too,” he said, showing me a picture of myself. “Who took these?”

“Ethan,” I said. “He
developed them, too.”

He nodded. “He’s good,
really good.”  It’s hard to judge a picture of yourself, so I said nothing. 
“Are you two getting close?” he asked, hesitantly.

“I told you before, he
has a girlfriend.”

He cupped my cheek and
looked at me like I was still his little girl.  “I know.  But you are a
beautiful girl, and I couldn’t blame him if he was blinded by it.”

Blushing again, he
kissed my cheek before handing me back the pictures and silently leaving the
room.  The little girl in me wanted to cry, thinking how much I would miss my Dad
when I went to college.  And the other half of me cried, thinking about all
that Ethan had lost when his father died and how he didn’t have the love that I
had at home.  His own home sat empty.