Threads of Steel (Bayou Cove) (27 page)

“Good. Mama wants to see you again. She told me that.”

Again the child’s words took her off guard. She wondered how much
Doti
had told her daughter. “I’ll do my best to get here again.”

With good-byes said, Doug escorted her out the door and into the car. Anna Marie sat on her side fighting back a belt of tears.

“You okay?”

“I’m not sure. I’m mad. I’m hurt. I’m glad I came. I don’t know how I feel. I’m impressed with the girl though.” She smiled. “
Doti
seems to have raised her well. I’m glad I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith again, though I’m leaving a little concerned about them. Neither of them is in good health, but by the same token, they’re managing well with the girl.”

“Her name’s Caitlyn,” he said as he started the car.

“Caitlyn.
I know.”

She sat quietly and they drove away, and she also knew why she couldn’t call her by name. That would make the child real. As long as she hadn’t met her, she wasn’t real. Her imagined little girl in her dreams wasn’t supposed to be real. Now, though, this was a living, breathing child—Ronnie’s child—and whether she wanted to or not, the little girl had touched her heart.

Doug stopped the car in the hotel parking lot without Anna Marie being aware they’d actually driven the short distance across the bayou.

“So.
What’s your next move?” he asked as he leaned against his door and looked directly at her.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll drive back to New Orleans tomorrow morning and think about all this on the way.”

His eyes told her that he wished he could do something to help her. Finally he said, “She’s a cute little girl.”

“That she is. She looks just like her daddy.” Anna Marie closed her eyes and dropped her head against the headrest, turned a little and stared at Doug. “And she looks just like I’ve pictured her in my dreams.”

“Dreams don’t have to end, Anna Marie. “

“But dreams and reality are two different things. You can’t change the past with dreams.”

CHAPTER
17

For the next two weeks, Anna Marie buried herself in her work. Long after everyone else left, she stayed to work on the
McEntire
wedding gown. Here, alone in the quiet sewing room, she thought about her life. She thought about her career and the success she’d made in her business. She thought about Doug and wondered where their friendship would lead, and if she’d allow herself to actually have a relationship with him. The one night where she’d let down her guard and spent the night with him was wonderful—more wonderful than she could ever imagine—but it scared her to death.

She had a feeling he understood what she was going through. When he’d taken her to the hotel after seeing Caitlyn, they did nothing but talk. He walked with her to the back deck of the hotel and sat, held her hand, but mostly he just let her relax. Neither of them said much, but his presence meant the world to her.

When he kissed her goodnight, it was all she could do to let him leave her room, but so much was going on in her life she wondered if she was using him for his strength. A relationship couldn’t be built from need. There had to be love and trust and understanding. Those things might be possible with him, but then again, was she reading more into their time together than he felt? He was such a private person. She still didn’t know a lot about him.

She pricked her finger with the beading needle and immediately stood up and stepped away from the expensive fabric. With a paper towel wrapped around the small prick to catch the blood, she found a bandage,
then
looked at the clock. Ten o’clock. It was time to call it a night, especially now that she could get blood on the gown.

Before pulling on her coat to face the damp December air, she leaned against her work table and let herself think about Caitlyn. For the last two weeks she’d slaved over what she’d tell
Doti
about her daughter. Tonight she’d tried to think about everything but Caitlyn, but, of course, that was almost impossible.

The problem was enormous. She looked at the dilemma from every angle, but the only thing she did was to find another problem. Even if she brought Caitlyn to New Orleans to live with her and actually found a way to keep the business going, she wondered if that would be the best solution for the child. How do you take a little girl away from everything and everyone she knows to plop her down in a new environment with a woman who knows nothing about mothering? Would it be fair to the girl?

Every night when she went home, Anna Marie found herself walking through her home, imagining what it would be like to share it with a little girl. In her mind she redecorated her spare bedroom. It was a tiny space, but she could see it decorated in a little girl’s décor. Did girls her age still like pink and ruffles? Would purples be better?

The more she let her imagination run wild, the more she realized bringing the child into her life would be a wonderful turn of events for her, giving her someone to love and someone to fill the voids in her life. Just as
Doti
pointed out, Anna Marie knew she had the resources to give the girl what she needed. How fun it would be to shop with her, dress her, and offer her a world she couldn’t get with her grandparents.

But as much as she would love to share her life with Caitlyn, so much more had to be considered. The material things in life had their importance, but there were other things that Anna Marie had to consider.

She pushed away from her work table,
then
flipped off the light.

A little over a month ago, her life was normal—lonely, but normal. Weddings, Mardi
Gras
costumes, and prom dresses, business meetings and office activity were the center of her life. Now it was all she could do to clear her mind enough to give the business the attention they deserved.

As she stepped onto the sidewalk, the humid New Orleans night made her pull her coat together. She called Doug before she pulled out onto the street.

“Did I wake you?” she asked when he answered the phone with a hoarse voice.

He cleared his throat.
“Maybe.”

“I’m sorry. Go back to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

She heard him sit up in bed and closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to be there with him. Would they make love again or would they simply cuddle together and watch a movie?

“No, no. I’m awake,” he said. “Nothing’s wrong, is it?”

“No, I’m just leaving work and I wanted to talk to someone.”

“Anna Marie, it’s after ten o’clock. You shouldn’t be out there alone at this time of the night.”

“I brought my car near the door before it got dark so I didn’t have far to walk. I’m okay. I seem to be working late every night. I can get a lot more done when I’m alone.”

“I understand, but I still don’t think it’s safe.”

She smiled as the pulled out onto the street. How long had it been since she had someone to worry about her?

“I’ve had a lot of time to think being up in the sewing room alone.”

“Yeah, I bet you have. Uh, were any of those thoughts about me?”

She chuckled. “A lot of those thoughts were about you.”

“Well, then, that redeems you from waking me up. I played two eighteen-
hole
rounds today. I was exhausted or I’d still have the TV on.”

She followed a line of traffic toward her house. Even at this time of night, the city never slept and the streets were never empty.

“I guess you’ve given Caitlyn some thought while you sewed tonight.”

She nodded even though he wasn’t around to see her. “I’ve thought about her a lot, and the only thing I can come up with is more questions. I know
Doti
is trying to find a solution to her problem, but for the world of me, I can’t believe that I’m that solution.”

“If not you, who?”

“Okay, this is how I see the problem.” She took a big breath. “That little girl is comfortable living with her grandparents, and I think that’s where she should stay as long as they’re able to take care of her.”

“But by the looks of it, I don’t think that will be very long.”

“You’re probably right, but that’s where she feels safe, and I think after
Doti’s
gone, she’ll need time in an environment where she’s comfortable before being hauled off to someplace and with someone she really doesn’t know.”

“So are you saying that when the time comes that her grandparents can’t do for her any more that you’d take over?”

“No, I didn’t say that, but I didn’t rule that out either. It’s a possibility. It’s a wonderful possibility,” she threw in, “but I still don’t think it’s best one.”

“What other one is there?”

“Ronnie.”

There was a long silence from Doug’s end of the phone. “But
Doti
is adamant about him taking the girl.”

“Yes, I know, but she hasn’t seen him a long time. I think I’d like to confront him with the issue. See how he reacts and see what his situation really is. There’s always a possibility that he really has changed.”

“Maybe, but you have a big job ahead of you.”

“I know.”

She pulled alongside her house. “I’m home,” she said as she grabbed an armful of sewing and struggled up her front steps with the phone still to her ear.

“And I wish I were there to greet you.”

His words made her smile as she unlocked her stained glass front door. Her little cottage might be small, but like most of the older homes along her street, hers too had a beautiful front door.

She dropped her things on a chair and walked to the kitchen. “Having you here would be nice.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“I’ve wondered how you’ve been feeling lately,” he said. “It seems you’ve kept your distance since I spent the night over there.”

How did she answer that? Even when she saw him when she went to see Caitlyn, their visit was only friendly. She swallowed.

“I haven’t meant to be distant. I guess I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, I guess you have. Will I see you again anytime soon?”

“The
Lowerys
are finalizing some things with Miss Ellie’s house. I think the rest of the family has until the end of the month to remove what they want from it.”

“Then what?”

“Then decisions will have to be made. I know what
Doti
and Nancy want to do with the house. I’m just trying to figure out what to do with my share. That’s just one more thing to think about.”

* * *

On Saturday, Anna Marie sat behind her wheel heading down the interstate toward Alabama. She had to see for herself what Ronnie’s reactions would be when she confronted him about Caitlyn. She’d told him she had business in the area and would be in Birmingham that afternoon. He agreed to meet with her at a local restaurant.

It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did have business—with him.

If she were lucky, she’d be invited to see where he lived. Maybe she could gauge if he would be suitable to be a real father.

She knew she was taking matters into her own hands, but
Doti
involved her by asking her to take her child. That would happen only after all other logical possibilities had been examined, and Ronnie was certainly the most logical possibility. A biological father had rights, at least in her mind they did. He might have signed away his rights on paper, but that when he was foolish and wild. With all her heart, she hoped he’d become a more responsible adult.

She kept her eyes on the road. After living on flat land along the Gulf Coast all of her life,
the ups and downs of the hills around Birmingham made her concentrate more than usual. At least that gave her something to think about besides Caitlyn and
Doti
, the house, Doug, and the piles of last minute costumes to be finished. Nothing seemed simple these days.

By three o’clock she pulled into the parking lot of a chain restaurant glad to be able to get out of the car.

As soon as she walked through the door, Ronnie stood up from where he’d been sitting on a side bench. He looked good. The last time she’d seen him was at Miss Ellie’s funeral. He wasn’t as nicely dressed as he was then, but his neat polo and clean jeans gave him a respectable look. His dark brown hair was short and neat and she had to admit he was still good-looking. That hadn’t changed.

If she didn’t know him, he would be someone she would look at twice. But then, she only had to remind herself of their horrible history to remember why she was here.

He walked toward her. “Hi. I wasn’t sure you’d actually come.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, an action totally foreign to the Ronnie she once knew.

“I said I would. I would’ve called had I not been able to get here. I’m glad you agreed to see me.”