Threads of Steel (Bayou Cove) (26 page)

Doug chewed the inside of his cheek trying to understand
Doti’s
request of Anna Marie. “Yeah, I can see where something like that could throw you for a loop. Isn’t the father in the picture?”

She got up and headed for the bathroom, but kept talking. “No. Ronnie doesn’t live here and
she thinks he’s a bad influence on Caitlyn.” She pulled a tissue out of the dispenser mounted on the side of the counter, then turned around and headed back.

“Do you agree?”

“I’m not sure. When I talked with him at the funeral, he seems to have grown up some. He says he’s off drugs.” She walked back to the table, but didn’t sit. Instead she grabbed the back of the chair.

“Have you met the child?”

“No. I never wanted to meet her. I was afraid it would hurt too much.”

Doug couldn’t stand not being by her. He got up and walked to her and pulled her to his body. She melted into him. Her body trembled, and he wanted to do more to Anna Marie than just hold her. He knew what it was like to lose
himself
in her. This wasn’t the moment to think about that, but, damn, it was hard to control his thoughts when she was hanging onto him as if for dear life.

He made himself think about her problem. “Why didn’t she ask your other friend to take her?”

Anna Marie shook her head. “Nancy has her plate overloaded right now. She has four kids and a husband who isn’t bringing in enough money to support them. They’re having some problems with their marriage right now. Another child would be a disaster.”

He rubbed her back because he didn’t know what else to do.

“How can I raise a child?” She continued. “I work. I’m single. I’m hardly home.”

“But does your life have to be that way? I mean, can some of your work be done at home?”

Anna Marie stared at him. “Yes, I guess it’s possible, but . . .”

“But you’re not sure you want to do it.
Right?”

She nodded. “Not being sure isn’t half of it. I can’t believe she asked me to do this knowing what her affair did to my life. That little girl can’t help how she was conceived
.
It’s not her fault, but I can’t even let myself consider what I’d think about every time I looked at her.”

She took a deep breath,
then
sat down. He pulled his chair around the table and sat next to her. She reached out and took his hand. He raised it to his lips and kissed it.
“Maybe, but maybe not.
You never know what gifts life can offer at times when we least expect them.”

She looked up at him and blinked.

“Don’t you think you should at least meet the child?”

She stared at the table top. “I guess I have to.” She lifted her face to him and forced a smile. “I have to have all the facts, and not knowing Caitlyn isn’t the way to work through this problem.”

“Good. I agree. What can I do to help? I don’t want to stick my nose into something that doesn’t concern me, but would you like someone—me—to go with you?”

“Really?
You’d do that?”

“Yes, Anna Marie, I’d do that.”

* * *

Anna Marie sat on the passenger’s side of Doug’s SUV. Neither of them talked, but her mind was reeling. Her insides trembled.

What was she doing? As soon as she’d made the decision to meet Caitlyn, she called the Smiths and arranged to go over after their dinner was finished. She couldn’t return to New Orleans tomorrow without attempting to work through this.

Ever since the little girl was born, she’d imagined each stage of her life. When she’d heard that
Doti
had given birth, she imagined holding the little girl wrapped in pink blankets and nursing her. In her mind she watched her take her first steps,
then
walked with her to her school on her first day.

It had been silly to let her imagination run wild, but she couldn’t make her mind stop. Now she was about to meet the girl that had existed only in her dreams.

“Want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

She looked at him and smiled. How did she luck up and find someone as gentle and kind as he was in the midst of all of her troubles?

Maybe he was right. Maybe life did offer little gifts at times that we least expected them. He just didn’t know that
he
was her gift.

“You wouldn’t want to know what’s on my mind.”

“Really.
Does that mean you were thinking about something naughty?”

His big smile warmed her.
“No, nothing that wonderful.”

“Hmmm.
That gives a guy a little hope.”

She giggled,
then
quickly covered her lips with her hand.

“You’re cute when you’re a little embarrassed.”

“Thank you for the compliment, but I haven’t been called cute in a really long time.” She took a deep breath. “I was thinking about all those years that
Doti
got to raise her daughter.” She stopped unable to finish.

“And she should’ve been yours.” He glanced over at her with understanding eyes.

“I didn’t know I was so easy to read.”

“It’s not hard to figure out what you’re feeling under the circumstances.
Doti
and your husband hurt you, and when
Doti
got pregnant, it only made it worse. You have every right to feel the way you do. Can I ask why you and he never had children?”

“We—he mostly—had made a conscious decision to wait a little. We didn’t have much to live on and I was taking night classes to get a degree. He said it wasn’t the right time for a baby, but now that I think about it, it had been more his decision than mine. I agreed with him, but in my heart I really didn’t want to put off having a family.”

He looked at her. “I’m sorry. There’s not much anyone can say to help how you feel, but do know that I’m sorry you’ve had to live through this.”

She touched his hand in response and smiled.

He turned the corner and drove down a narrow street where Anna Marie remembered playing as a child. Many of the older, wood-frame houses were surprisingly well preserved and appeared to have been renovated and newly painted. When they pulled up to the address of
Doti’s
parents, her heart sank. The house looked as it did when they were children. The white house had been painted a pale yellow that must’ve looked cheerful at one time, but today the paint  was faded and peeling. Some of the white trim looked cleaner than the other, but Anna Marie could tell that Mr. and Mrs. Smith were not much better off than when the girls played dolls in this yard.

Had
Doti
mentioned that they were not well?

When Doug opened her door, she wanted to pull it shut and ask Doug to drive off—but that would never happen. She’d said she would meet the child, and she would, no matter how heart-wrenching it would be.

“You up to this?” he asked as he leaned on her door.

“I don’t know, but,” she stepped out, “I’m here so I might as well do it.”

“Spoken like a champ.” He took her arm and escorted her up the front steps.

Glad that he was with her, she placed her hand over his and squeezed. He turned and winked, giving her the courage to meet
Doti’s
child.

Before they knocked, the front door flew open. “Are you my Aunt Anna?” A little girl with neatly combed, long brown hair stood in front of her. Her brown eyes, so similar to
Doti’s
, sparkled with excitement. Except for that feature, she had all of Ronnie’s other traits. “My Mama said you were coming to meet me.”

Anna Marie didn’t know what to say. Aunt Anna? Is that how
Doti
talked about her to this child? At one time she would’ve expected
Doti’s
children to call her aunt, but not after all that had happened.

She swallowed. The child was beautiful—even more beautiful than her picture—and everything she imagined her own child would have been. Finally, she found her voice. “Yes, I’m your Aunt Anna, and you’re just as pretty as your mother said you were.”

An elderly man walked up behind Caitlyn. “Hello, Anna Marie. It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, sir.
It has.” Again, she had to swallow to get her composure. Mr. Smith had aged considerably. He was frail and thin, but his sweet smile told her he was the same loving family man he’d been when they were growing up.

“Thank you for letting us
come
over. This is my friend, Doug McCall.”

Doug stepped forward and shook the man’s hand.

“Come in, please. I’d like to get reacquainted with you. Mama is in the den. She has a little trouble getting out of her chair.” He stepped aside and let Anna Marie and Doug into his home.

Not much had changed. The linoleum on the floor had been changed, and clean throw rugs made the small entrance look neat and clean. She remembered her mother’s words about being poor, but being clean.

“I remember playing in here when we were children.”

Mr. Smith turned to look at her as he walked. “Those were good days, weren’t they?”

Good days? Anna Marie guessed they were good days in their own way. Living in poverty wasn’t easy, but there were many wonderful memories that overshadowed the bad. Playing with her two girlfriends in this neighborhood was at the top of those good times.

They walked to a back room, an obvious addition since she’d been here. The floors were covered in worn brown sculptured carpet, but again the room gave a clean feeling.

Mrs. Smith sat up straighter and smiled. “Oh, Anna Marie, don’t you look lovely. You’ve blossomed into a beautiful young lady.”

Anna Marie walked over to her chair, bent over and kissed the lady on the cheek. Mrs. Smith hugged her tightly and sniffled. The years fell away. Mrs. Smith and her own mother had been close friends. When they weren’t cleaning other people’s houses or cooking for the family, they met on one of their porches and talked “lady talk,” as they called it. Nancy’s mother sometimes joined them, but Mrs. Smith lived closest so it was easier to walk to her house.

“And you and Mr. Smith haven’t changed much either.”

“Oh, pshaw,” Mr. Smith said as he sat in his well-worn recliner. “We look like Father Time’s left-
overs
.” He pointed to the couch. “You two have a seat.”

Caitlyn walked over to her grandfather. “Papa, do you remember Aunt Anna?”

“Oh yes. Your
mama and her
and Miss Nancy were like white on rice when they were your age and right up through high school and even later than that.”

Caitlyn looked up at Anna Marie. “How come you and my mama aren’t friends anymore? You don’t come over here like friends do?”

Panic set in. How do you explain the situation with
Doti
and Ronnie without lying?

Mr. Smith spoke up. “Now, Caitlyn, I told you that Miss Anna doesn’t live here anymore. It’s not easy to keep up with old friends when you grow up. You’ll see one day.”

Caitlyn shrugged. “I’m never getting mad at my friend Sarah. We’re always
gonna
be friends and we’re
gonna
live close together so we can cook together when we grow up.”

“Those are wonderful plans,” Anna Marie said, thankful that Mr. Smith had kept her from fumbling around the truth.

The child looked up at Anna Marie. “Where do you live?”

“In New Orleans.
I live right in the middle of the city. It’s really big with lots of traffic, and tall buildings, and lots of fun things to do.”

“Mama took me there one day. We went to the Mardi
Gras
, but I think she said we weren’t really in the middle of the city.”

“There’re parades in many of the neighborhoods not in the city. It’s really safer to attend some of them if you have children. Your mother is a smart lady.”
Too bad she couldn’t have been smarter with her other life decisions.

Doug and Mr. Smith struck up a conversation about fishing. Anna Marie talked quietly with Caitlyn and Mrs. Smith, but her ears opened for bits and pieces of the men’s conversation. It seemed that Doug enjoyed fishing along the bayous and close islands in his small boat.

Fishing had not been part of her life. Without a father around when she was old enough to fish, she and her mother had found other pastimes, usually cooking and decorating cakes. She didn’t know Mr. Smith fished either, but assumed he started after he’d retired because she never remembered
Doti
mentioning it.

When she felt they had spent enough time with the Smiths, Anna Marie thanked the couple for their hospitality,
then
squatted down by Caitlyn. “It was nice to meet you, Caitlyn.”

“Will you come over to see my mother when she gets home from the hospital?”

The question took her off guard. “Well, when I’m back in town, I’ll certainly try.”