Threads of Steel (Bayou Cove) (24 page)

Her mouth was dry, but she managed to form the words.
“More than okay.
”

Without waiting, she took his hand. With only the dim light sneaking through the blinds, she led him through the shadows of her cottage. The hesitation she’d felt earlier vanished, and in its place was the courage to let herself go—at least for tonight.

* * *

Before opening her eyes, Anna Marie knew it was morning. For a moment she lay without moving, enjoying the weight of Doug’s arm across her stomach. She was on her back, he on his side with his head near her shoulder.

She let her mind float back to the night before, a glorious night, a night that would stay with her forever. Since she’d left Ronnie, Anna Marie had never given herself so completely to a man. Doug knew exactly what to do to make her reach for the heavens, come down, and reach again. He was tender and gentle, wild and exciting, all at once, and she knew she had given him as much pleasure as he’d given her.

Now with the light seeping in through her blinds, the terror and fear that she felt last night returned.

This was a man who spent his life around tourists near his home and on the road with golf tournaments. He might know how to make her happy while he was around her, but how long would that be?

She squeezed her eyes tightly. For all these years she’d stayed clear of any relationship, protecting her heart, telling herself she was fine just as she was, and now Doug had waltzed into her up-side down life and made her drop her guard.

“In deep thought?”
Doug’s words took her by surprise.

She rolled to him and smiled. “Yes.
Deep thoughts.”

“Want to share them?”

“No, not now.
I’d rather kiss you.”

“That’s more like it.”

He pulled her close to the full length of his body, and she knew he wanted to make love to her once more. She kissed him with all her heart, knowing that this might be the last time he would ever be in her bed again. She wanted him now just as much as she’d wanted him last night, and even though she knew what she was getting into by opening her heart to a man in his position, she
slid
her hand down below his waist to encourage him.

With a quick intake of breath, he flipped her over on her back once more and climbed on top.
“My lead this morning, Miss
LaFaire
.
If you keep that up, this will be much too quick. A morning of love should be taken slow and easy.”

His words almost brought tears to her eyes. She loved waking up with him next to her, feeling his body against hers, and smelling the musky scent of their love making from the night before. It was this closeness that she missed living alone, but she knew she could never let herself dream of having him as a permanent fixture.

But nothing was keeping her from enjoying what he had to offer this morning. These moments would live with her a long time so she closed her eyes and let his lips and tongue and soft words take her away from her troubles.

Her Sunday morning with Doug came to a close much too quickly. They showered together, and as he dried her back, he asked what she had been dreading.

Gently, he turned her to face him. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” She tried to smile.

“Anna, I haven’t known you very long, but I can tell that something’s wrong. Are you upset that you let an older man take you to bed?”

She was about to protest, but he placed a finger across her lips.

“I thought you were okay with what we did last night, but I think you’re having some remorse in the light of day.” He cocked his head. “Am I right?”

She took the towel and wrapped it around her body. “Not remorse. I loved making love to you. It was the most wonderful night I’ve had in years. Believe me there is no remorse about our love-making.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m not used to giving myself so completely. I’m not looking for a relationship, and I really don’t like the idea of casual sex, so I’m not sure where I stand. I’m feeling a little bit confused this morning.”

He turned her around and pulled her to him. She put her head down on his damp chest and let him hold her tight. How could she tell him that on the surface he might seem like the type who would give her a lasting relationship, but she really doubted that he was ready for what she needed? He made his living being on the road. The man would have to be a saint to stay true to any relationship.

But she said none of that. She was being silly even to think there would or could be a future with this man.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Like I said, I’m just a little confused this morning.”

He took a deep breath, stepped back, and held her at arm’s length. “I understand. I’m not saying I didn’t hope you’d let me stay the night, but I certainly wasn’t going to push myself on you. I’m not a lady’s man, or whatever the younger generation calls men these days. I like being with you, Anna Marie. I really do. I’m not looking for a relationship either, but if one happens to fall in my lap I’m not going to turn my back on it either. Life is too short to not let happiness in if it comes knocking.”

“I know, but life is too short to put yourself in harm’s way either.”

He chuckled. “Well, I never thought of myself as being anyone’s harm, but I guess I understand what you’re feeling. Look, like I said, I like being with you and if it means just being your friend, I’ll accept that. Maybe you’ll change your mind about me, but don’t tell me you won’t see me again.”

The man looked so sincere, what could she say. “I’d never say that. I like being with you as well. I guess I’m a little rusty at all this.”

He shook his head, laughed,
then
found his clothes.

What was he thinking? Was
he
really rusty as well or did he play around like she thought?

No more was said about relationships, love-making, and feelings for the rest of the morning. There was so much she didn’t know about him, but she didn’t want to ask. They dressed,
then
drove to Café Du Monde for coffee and beignets. From there he took her back to her house.

She sat on her side of his rental car, feeling as though she was about to tell him good-bye for the last time. It wouldn’t be. She knew that she’d be back on the coast because of the house, but for some reason she felt these moments that they’d had together were only moments in passing.

“So when will you come back to the Bayou Cove?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess when we have some activity on the house.”

“So you’re still thinking about selling?”

He reached across the seat and took her hand. She looked up at him. “Things have a way of working out. I wouldn’t worry too much about how this house business will end. You’ll know what to do when the time is right.”

“Thank you, Doug. I’m hoping I make all the right choices.”

He looked down at his watch, and she felt as if she was holding him up so she picked up her purse. “I’m glad you came to New Orleans.”

“Not any more than I am. Our night was special.” He raised her hand and kissed it. “I hope I see you soon.”

At that he got out of the car, walked around to her side. It was time enough for her to take a long intake of breath to find the courage to send him on his way. No way would she get in the way of his life.

He left her standing on her porch as he waved and drove off.

For a long time she stood in one spot and watched the empty road—her road, from her porch, in her big city. Doug seemed to take the life away as he drove off and she wondered if she’d ever felt so lonely in her life
.

CHAPTER
15

“Harry, you can’t do this.” Nancy threw the dishcloth on the countertop and glared at him. “You can’t leave me here with all these kids with a van that’s on its last leg and a house full of broken down appliances.”

Harry pushed his chair back from the table where he’d been finishing a noon sandwich. Nancy knew something wasn’t right when he showed up at the house for lunch. He always ate on or near the job site.

“That’s exactly why I told them I’d take this assignment. We need the money. These kids always need something. You’re always asking for something. . .”

Nancy cut him off. “I always need something for the kids. What am I supposed to tell them when their shoes are too little or they need money for something at school?”

“Exactly.
If it’s not the kids, it’s the house. It’s falling down around us.”

“You’re a carpenter. Looks like you could fix a few things around here.” Nancy’s words came out harsh and mean. She hated herself for letting them slip, but couldn’t stop. “I’ve patched things until I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared the entire house will go up in flames.”

Harry tossed the remainder of his fruit drink into the sink. “Again, this is exactly why I’m taking this job. We need the money,” – he hesitated and looked directly at her. His blue-grey eyes lost their sparkle and turned a deep grey – “and maybe we need some time apart.”

Harry’s
words stuck deep. Nancy had let the same thoughts seep into her consciousness many times, but she’d refused to acknowledge them. Maybe this was the time.

“Maybe we do.” Her words were a whisper. Nancy turned toward the sink to hide the tears that sprang to her eyes. “Maybe a little time away from each other will bring back some of the spark we lost years ago.”

She turned around when he didn’t answer.

Harry had taken a step toward the door. With his hand on the knob, he looked down at the floor when he spoke. “I don’t need spark. I need love and understanding. I work my butt off for you and these kids.”

“These
kids
happen to be
your
kids. Don’t talk about them like I’ve picked them up off the street some place.”

“I know that. I love each and every one of them, but we can’t afford them on what I’m making here. Our marriage won’t last if we keep doing what we’re doing.”

Nancy stared at the man who’d been her only lover and the father of her four children. After seventeen years of marriage, was he walking out of their lives for good?

She composed herself. “You do what you need to do, Harry. I’ll check into day-care costs for Harry, Jr., and I’ll start looking for a fulltime job.”

They stared at each other a long time before Harry stepped out of the kitchen and slammed the door behind him.

Nancy grabbed the edge of the sink and let the tears flow
.
She never cried, but today she didn’t try to stop the tears.

* * *

“It’ll be okay, Nancy. You and Harry have been through too much to not work this out.”
Anna Marie walked alongside of Nancy as they headed through the hospital parking lot to visit with
Doti
. It had been only two weeks since Doug had stopped over in New Orleans, and she already found herself back in Bayou Cove for a quick trip.
Doti
begged her and Nancy to meet with her, so she rearranged her schedule to be able to take an afternoon off.

“I don’t know,” Nancy said as she pulled her sweater closer to her body
.
“I think he’s pretty fed up with our life.” A strange, strained laugh escaped her lips.
“Like I’m not.”

Anna Marie stopped and grabbed Nancy’s arm. “You’ll work through this. All marriages have their ups and downs.”

“Right.
But our downs are pretty low right now, and they’ve been that way for a while.” With a long inhale of breath, she started walking again. “If it wasn’t for the kids, I’d go straight to a lawyer and
give
him his freedom, but I have to tell you, Anna, I don’t think I can give four children what they need alone, and I’m not just talking about money. They need attention and our time—not that Harry has been a big help,” she added under her breath.

Anna Marie put her arm around Nancy. They walked in silence. When they entered the hospital elevator, Anna Marie looked at her. “I know money isn’t the be-all and end-all with your family, but do you think what you get from the sale of Miss Ellie’s house will help matters?”

With her eyes on the floor, she nodded. “I’m not saying the money will fix everything broken in our marriage, but it’ll help. Even if he leaves us, the money would help me give the kids what they need—except for a father.”

“Don’t start jumping the gun, girl. Give him a little time. He’ll come back when he sees what he has with his family.”

“Maybe,” she said as the elevator door opened. “Come on. Let’s go see someone who really has problems.”

Together they walked to
Doti’s
door, and just as before, Anna Marie stopped to compose herself.

This time Nancy put her hand on Anna Marie’s arm. “It’ll be easier this time. Come on.”