This Regret (40 page)

He opens his eyes and my heart breaks for him. I can see and feel the pain as if it were mine. "Okay. Thank you, Kellan. For everything." I want him to know, everything he did made a difference in Adric's life. He could never do any wrong in Adric's eyes.

I pull myself together and walk out of the room and into the bathroom around the corner. My eyes widen as I look around the dimly lighted room in surprise. The bathroom is painted black and silver, with designs painted onto the wall. You can tell they were hand painted by Kellan and they are amazingly detailed.

Peeling my eyes away from the walls, I look around the room. The hot tub, big enough for only two people, sits off in the far back of the room, away from the toilet and double sink.

I walk over to the water, running my hands along the wall on the way. Standing above it, I dip my toes in it, testing it before submerging my body, all the way up to my neck. I could get used to this, but I can't and I won't. It will only hurt more when I have to say goodbye. All I can do is enjoy it right now while I can. So, I close my eyes and let my thoughts consume me.

After resting in the hot tub for a good forty minutes, I step out, dry off and wrap the towel around my body. I make my way over to the door and poke my head out, to ensure Rayne isn't around to eat me for a snack. When I don't see her anywhere in site, I tiptoe down the hallway until I find my way to the kitchen. Right away, my nose fills with the sweet aroma of his homemade cooking.

I poke my head inside, to see Kellan standing in front of the stove, in a pair of black briefs. They are so tight around his perfect ass that the site almost leaves me gasping for air.
Why does he do this? Is he torturing me on purpose?

My eyes wander down his muscled legs and land on Rayne, laying on the floor next to his feet. She looks up when she notices me, but then quickly lays back down as if she could care less.
Thank goodness for that.

Watching him cook me dinner turns me on so much, I almost don't even want to disturb him. I could stand here all night, just watching the way his muscles flex every time he moves. I'm almost tempted to walk over to him and peel those briefs off so I can press my naked body to his while he cooks. It’s so damn tempting, but I'm spineless when it comes to him.

"Hey," I say softly. "It smells amazing in here."

He turns around, smiles and sets the spatula down. My eyes trail over his hard muscles as he eyes me and makes his way over, placing his lips to mine for a quick kiss. "I hope you're starving, because I made one of your favorite meals." He runs his hands up my arms before ushering me over to the round table. "Sit down." He walks back over to the stove and turns it off. "I want you to eat enough because once we're done, we're spending the rest of the day, naked in my bed. You're mine for tonight."

His words cause goose bumps to arise on my flesh. This man has a way with words that makes me so hot, I can barely control myself.

I watch his firm ass as he reaches above him for two plates and sets them down on the silver marble counter. I can't help but want to be naked with him right now. He did say we were going to spend the rest of the day and night naked. Might as well start now.

I drop my towel and kick it away with my foot, hoping to get his attention. My nerves are running wild, but my body and mouth just can't stop. "Oh, trust me, I'm starving."

He gets ready to scoop food onto our plates, but stops and looks over at me, his eyes hu
ngrily scanning my body. "Mmm . . . you're so damn sexy." He drops the spatula and walks over to me, placing my hands on his briefs. "From now on, you're going to be the one to undress me. My body is yours to do whatever you want with."

Holy crap!
He was telling the truth. He's mine for the night and I'm taking every last ounce I can get from him. I want this man in every way, even if just for the night. Tomorrow, he's back to being free again, the both of us going back to normal. Dang, that feeling hurts.

I look into his eyes and slowly peel his briefs down his legs and he lifts his feet, stepping out of them, his hand firmly holding the back
of my neck. "I hope your cooking is just as good as your . . . masterpiece." I bring my attention down to his manhood and smirk.

His eyes follow mine to his partial erection and it rises to full attention. Then he pulls me up so I'm standing straight, grabs my chin and looks me in the eye. "Trust me, nothing is as good as my cock and tonight it's all yours. I'm not putting clothes on until you tell me to." His eyes land on my breast
s and he sucks in his bottom lip. "And you're not putting clothes back on until you leave here tomorrow."

He smirks and walks away, back over to the stove, leaving me standing on trembling legs. Taking a deep breath, I smile and take a seat in the closest chair and watch him in all his naked glory.

He fixes our plates, sets food down for Rayne and brings the plates over to the table. The sight in front of me makes my mouth water. Stuffed French toast with whipped cream and strawberries.
He's fucking good.
I swear I love this man. His body isn't the only thing to make my mouth water. He's always been good with his hands. Now, I can see that
does
mean everything he does with his hands.

"Holy crap, Kellan. This is amazing."

He walks over to the fridge and pulls out the orange juice, placing it on the table before he takes a seat. His eyes wander down to my bare crotch and a growl sounds deep inside his chest as he grips my chair and brings it to him. He turns it so I'm facing him, my legs almost over lapping his. Then, before I can blink he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me into his lap so I'm straddling him. "I know. Now let’s eat so I can take you to bed. You’re going to need your energy."

He grips my hips before running his hands up my sides, looking me in the eye. Then he surprises me by reaching behind me and grabbing a strawberry covered in whipped cream. He holds it to my bottom lip and rubs it across it, smearing whipped cream on it while licking his own. "Looks so fucking good on you." He pulls me to him and sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, moaning as he cleans my mouth off with his tongue. "I don't know what tastes sweeter." He smiles. "You or the whipped cream."

I moan as his erection rubs against my clit and he pulls my hips closer against his body. Grabbing his hand, I take his index finger and pull it to my mouth. Sucking from the base to the tip, I moan at the juicy, sweet cream that was left from the strawberry. I suck it clean. “You had a little bit left. I guess you’re a little messy,” I say seductively.

He lifts an eyebrow, sticks his finger into the whipped cream and brushes it over my bottom lip. “Again,” he says huskily. I suck it into my mouth, swirling my tongue over it as I move my mouth up and down the length of his finger, showing him what I can do.

He moans and takes a slow deep breath with his eyes closed. Then he opens them, looks me in the eyes and cups my face. "Fucking, shit, we're never going to get through this meal if we keep this up. You have no idea how bad I want to be inside you right now. I want to fuck you while I feed you strawberries and then I want to watch you lick the cream from your lips as if it were my fucking cum."

He runs one hand down between our bodies, teasing my clit, before shoving a finger inside, getting it wet. Then he pulls it out and sucks my wetness from his finger, getting a taste. "Yeah, you're definitely sweeter than the whipped cream." He swallows hard and then reaches for more food. "I'll behave enough to make it through dinner, but I have a feeling, you'll be leaving sore tomorrow."

This should be a night to remember.
Even if it kills me later, it will all be worth it.
No regrets.

Chapter Nineteen

Kellan

I've been awake for the last hour and I have yet to take my eyes away from her naked body, wrapped up in my arms. For some unspoken reason, I feel very protective of her as she holds me tight. Her arm and leg is draped over me as if she never wants to let go . . . and to be honest, I don't think I want her to. I don't want to give her up to another man and leave, but what choice do I have? I don't know if I could ever leave her now, especially after last night. Just the thought of another man holding her this way will dr
ive me to break a guy’s neck.

The night we spent together was special; unforgettable. It was nothing like I thought it would be when I first asked her to stay with me. I wanted to help her and offer her a place to sleep; a place where she could be comfortable. I saw that makeshift bed on the floor and something in me snapped. I hated the thought of her curled up on that hard floor, alone, without the comfort of someone to hold her and keep her warm. I would have offered to stay there and hold her, but that would have been fucking creepy, not to mention her mother and I have never gotten along. Us curled up on the floor with her drunken mother sleeping a few feet away would have just caused unnecessary problems. Call me greedy, but I just couldn't help myself. I want her for myself. Plus, I want more for her. She deserves the best.

I had thought about asking her to stay with me beforehand, but I wasn't sure I would actually go through with it. Not until I saw the look in her eyes at the shop. That look was enough to tear my walls down, to crumble them completely. I knew then and there that I couldn't stand to ever see her suffer. I planned on being sweet to her. Cooking her dinner, letting her relax in the hot tub and just being a good friend while I still can. She deserves it.

She has had to grow up and be the parent just like Adric did, most of her life. Everyone deserves to be taken care of at some point in their life.

Originally, no sex was intended. I tried blocking out my feelings and pushing them away, but again, I couldn't. She has some kind of hold on my heart that doesn't allow me to think straight when it comes to her. All I want to do is be close to her. To be touching her in any way possible. Thanks to my fucking weakness, now I've fucked things up even more. She even said she loved me.
Fuck!
Now, I am going to have to do damage control. I would be lying though, if I said I didn't love hearing it from her. How that messed with my heart. I swear I felt it break apart and shatter in my chest. Did she mean it? I don't know. Did she mean it in the romantic or platonic way? Fuck, I hope the former. I shouldn't, but I do.

She stirs in my arms, but doesn't wake up. I run my hand over her face, just above her cheek, before I lean in and gently kiss her. Seeing her so peaceful, forms something inside me that I can't understand. I have never slept with a girl in my arms and sure as hell have never had sex with a woman without a condom. Feeling her that way, awoke an uncontrollable desire within me to make me want her as mine and only mine. I can't help but to wonder if anyone else has been inside her that way. Fuck, that thought kills me. I don't want to think about that. I will murder someone.
Shit!

Needing to get up to piss, I try my best to wriggle my way out of her grip without waking her. It's almost afternoon, but I get the feeling she needed the extra sleep. She's tough. She always has been, but even the toughest need rest. I can't even imagine what she's going through with her family and with Kade right now. That little dick better not be giving her a hard time. I love my brother with everything in me and I would do anything to protect him, but something tells me I would do more to protect this woman in my arms. The only woman that has made me feel anything besides the pain that consumes me.

I manage to slip out of bed with just a groan from her and make my way to the bathroom. When I'm done, I go to the kitchen and start on breakfast. Yes, still naked. Like I said. My body is hers to do what she wants with. I would never do this for another woman. With anyone else, I've only ever stayed naked long enough to have sex and get them dressed. I have respect for women, don't get me wrong, but no one has ever made me want more until . . . her.

I walk into my bedroom and set the tray of food on the dresser. I look down at her, barely tangled up in my silk sheets and smile. I want to keep her here as long as I can. I have a feeling, I don't have much time before I get a visit from Cape's
inbreeds again.
Those sorry ass, low life mother fuckers are nothing but a waste of space.
I can't even believe they still do that asshole's dirty work. They're the ones that ran me out eight years ago. Cape didn't have enough balls to take me on himself. Always hiding behind his goons. I guess after what I did to his brother, I did sort of sign my death wish. Blood is always thicker than water. As bad as it sounds, that son of a bitch deserved every last bit of it. He should have just told me what I wanted instead of talking down on Adric. He's lucky he's still breathing after the shit he said.

When they realized the thought of them killing me off didn't do shit to break me down, they took it as far as they could. They went and threatened my loved ones. My mother fucking family. No one threatens my family. There is no doubt in my mind that I would kill for them. I had two options. Stay and watch my family's lives slowly crumble as they picked them off one by one, or get the fuck out of town and never come back. I fought a battle within myself, somewhat believing I could protect them if I stayed, but deep down, I knew it was bullshit. There was no way I could protect them all at the same time. These son of a bitches are smart. They lurk in the shadows until they catch you alone and at a disadvantage. I couldn't risk my family getting hurt because of me. I couldn't even protect Adric and he was only one person. In the end, he let them get to him. No matter how hard I tried to keep him away from Cape and those damn pills he concocted, he still managed to find someone to go between them. Who that person is, I have yet
to find out . . . but when I do, I will personally rip them apart limb by mother fucking limb.