This Regret (42 page)

I nod my head and hold my arm up so she can look at my forearm. "This too."

She looks down at the weeping angel and tears spring to her eyes. She shakes her head, trying to hide the tears. "What does the angel mean? Why is she sad?"

I exhale, not knowing how to answer. No one knew about Adric's depression and the battles he fought. Not even her. My jaw clenches as I search for the right words. "It just represents his true emotions. A side of him I knew so well. He had some deep shit going on inside his head. To me, this angel is how he felt. I never want to forget anything about him, including those emotions he hid from the world. Now, I'd like to believe this angel has taken that hurt from him and he's free of anything bad in his life. He's up there smiling down on us." I look between our naked bodies. "Well, maybe not now." I look up to the ceiling. "Sorry, bro."

She looks at me confused, her eyes dancing back at forth, looking me in the eyes. "I have a feeling Adric trusted you more than anyone. I just hope one day, you will tell me what went on in that head of his. He should have known better than to take so many pills. He always seemed so happy. I will never understand."

Her body tenses and she reaches for the shower door. "I really have to go. Jen is going to wonder where I am." She gets ready to step out, but stops to look back at me. "You don't have to answer this. I'm not sure I want to know, but will I see you again?"

My heart fucking breaks in a million pieces. Shit! I run my hands over my face and lean into the back of the shower. She knows I'll never lie to her.

When I don't respond, she smiles sadly and steps out of the shower, closing the door behind her. I stand in the shower, head in hands for at least thirty minutes before finally pulling myself together and getting dressed. The water turned to ice about fifteen minutes ago, but I couldn't move.

I feed Rayne, take her for a walk and then head out to the shop. Tyler called me about ten minutes ago, saying there was a client asking specifically for me and even though I wasn't planning on going in today, I never turn down a client. It's against my passion for tattooing. Tattooing is my biggest release now. After the night with Phoenix, I don't think I can ever think of sex the same way. She's hooked me. I'm ruined.

I arrive at the shop, jump off my Harley and greet Tyler as I walk inside. "Hey, man. Where's this client?"

Tyler looks up from the tattoo he's giving to some middle aged pothead looking dude and nods his head toward the can. "I don't know, man. I think he's taking a shit or something. He's been in there for a while."

I lift my eyebrows at him and take a seat in my chair. Rolling to my station, I grab a pair of black latex gloves and pull them over my hands. Might as well be ready when he comes out. "Alright now, I didn't need that much info and I'm sure he doesn't want his shit aired out there like
dirty laundry either. Do you know what he wants?"

"Nah, man. He wouldn't really say much. He came in with two guys, but I think the others left to go to that bar next door. They looked pretty fucking rough. I think their gene pool is a bit shallow if you get my drift. On
e of them was so fucking ugly . . ."

The bathroom door swings opens and a man with short blond hair comes through with a rod pierced through his cheek, just under his eye. He's wearing a leather jacket, black jeans with a chain hanging from the side, and big ass combat boots. His red eyes bore into mine as he makes his way over to the chair in front of me.

Well fucking shit! What the hell does this dick want?
I curl my lip and watch him as he gets comfortable in the chair. It pisses me off because I don't want his nasty ass tainting my stuff. Who knows where all he's been. He probably has some kind of disease even Ajax won't wash off. "Well, look at what the fucking dogs drug in: Cape. What the hell do you want? You know not to show your face in my sanctuary. Why don't you go back to the streets where you belong. Don't you have some more lives to ruin?"

He stares at me with a smug smile. Then he kicks his boots out and crosses his feet, looking relaxed and at home. Like he owns the damn place. That's the problem with Cape; somewhere along the way, he got pretty big into drug dealing and got a big head, making him dangerous. When we were in grade school he wasn't so bad. "Good to see you too, mother fucker," he growls. "Don't look so surprised to see me; although, I should say, I'm surprised as fuck to see you're still around." He reaches over to touch my gun, but I place my hand over it first, snatching it away. "Come on, man. That's a nice gun you have there. Maybe I can show you mine someday. Sometime sooner rather than later."

I should rip this asshole's throat out. Is he seriously sitting here in my shop, threatening me? If I don't get a grip, I'm going to kill him with my bare hands right here in front of Tyler. I smirk and cross my arms, looking him directly in the eye. "Don't try to threaten me. It doesn't work or scare me. I'm used to your scare tactics by now. The thing is, my life doesn't matter. We've already had this discussion," I growl out, acting cool. "Plus, I still have a few more fucking days." I clench my fists at my sides, trying my best not to break something or show my anger, allowing him the win. "Just tell me what the hell you want and leave."

"Just wanted to say hi to your family, that's all. It's been a while, ma
ybe I should introduce myself . . .
friend.
" He chuckles, knowing that he hit some kind of nerve with me. "And to see how your visit is coming along. It must be nice, getting to spend time with your brother."

I take a deep breath and exhale through my nose.

He huffs and leans into the seat. "It must be nice having a brother that isn't ridden to a wheel chair, with a few crushed bones in his face that will never look the same. It would be a shame if that happened to Kade. You know . . . a brother for a brother."

My breathing picks up as my fists clench tighter at my sides. I tower over him and jab my finger into the side of his skull. "Shut the fuck up! Don't you fucking speak my brother's name?" I push his head with my finger.

He makes a sad face and tilts his head away. "Why not? I should be able to speak it freely. He is one of my employees. What kind of business would I be running if that wasn't allowed?" He smiles at my expression and stands up as the door opens. Larry and Kenny walk in with shit faced grins. "You wanted to know who kept selling those pills to Adric. Well, you were asking the wrong fucking brother, my man. Instead of snooping around my back door, you should have been at our own. You made a costly mistake."

The muscles in my arm twitch as I watch him turn and walk over to his rats. "You expect me to believe that!" I shout.

He stops, smiles and pulls out a piece of paper. He tosses it to the floor, nods at Tyler and his client, who have stopped to stare and then walks out the door.

"Is everything cool, man?" Tyler watches as I walk over to the piece of paper and pick it up.

I turn to him and nod my head. "It's cool. I just need a minute. I walk outside to get fresh air. If I don't, then I'm going to explode from the blood boiling beneath my skin. All I'm seeing right now is red.

"Fuck!" I rub a hand over my face, working my lip ring between my teeth and look down at the faded, wrinkled up piece of paper in my hand. The first thought that runs through my head scares the shit out of me as I open the paper to read. "Are you shitting me?"

I crumble the paper in my hand and place my palms flat against the wall, dipping my head, allowing the anger to consume me. Rational thought escapes me and I slam my fists into the brick wall, repeatedly, while cursing out loud. I continue to punch the wall until my fists are drenched in blood and I can no longer feel my hands. Then I lean my back against the wall and slide down, with my face in my hands. I balance my weight on my heels while taking long, deep breaths.
My brother. My fucking brother.

The proof is right here in my hands, staring me in the damn fac
e. It's Kade's cell number he's had since he was sixteen. It's written in Kade's sloppy as shit hand writing. What the fuck kind of business did he think he had, working for Cape? I wouldn't be surprised if he still is.

I can't even think right now. I just want to knock some sense into this idiot and choke him the hell out. All this time, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out who had gotten to him, when I turned my back for a moment and the answer was right in front of my fac
e. There was barely a time I wasn't with Adric. I was scared to leave him alone for too long. Kade was one of the few that spent a little time with him when I wasn't around.
That little shit
. Betrayed by my own flesh and blood.

I jump to my feet, shove the paper in my pocket and head straight for my bike. Phoenix told me last night that Kade and Luna work the day shift today. He better be expecting to see his big brother because I have some words for this dick.

Through my rage, I somehow manage to make it to
Spinner's
without killing anyone on the way. I yank the door to the bar open so hard it could have pulled my shoulder out of socket and stride across the bar, my sights set on Kade. He's behind the bar, sweet talking Luna.
Figures
. All he seems to be able to think about is pussy. His dick is all he cares about other than himself, causing people to get hurt.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" I yell, causing everyone to stop and look my way. I'm so pissed, I could care less who's watching.

Kade exhales a deep breath and tosses the towel that's draped over his shoulder, down onto the bar. "Yeah, that's me. How the fuck can I help you? Did Phoenix tell you about last week? My bad." He grabs a beer, takes a swig and slams it down.

Ah, hell!
Now my blood is really boiling. I better not hear anything about him doing anything to Phoenix. That is something to settle later. Right now, we need to settle something else.

I stop in front of the bar and slam the piece of paper down onto the top with my hand covering it. I look him in the eye, clenching my jaw. He better have a good answer. "What the fuck is this?" I take my hand
away, revealing the number and he gives me a look to kill as he picks up the paper. “What the shit! No games.”

His eyes widen for a second before he tosses it into the trash and grabs for his beer again. "It's my damn number." He sets his beer down and stares me in the eye. "Probably from one of the many girls that I have fucked over the years. If you're wo
ndering if that's Phoenix then . . ." He smiles.

I lean across the bar, grab him by the shirt and slam my bloodied fist right into the side of his face. He stumbles backwards as I swing my legs across the bar and jump down in front of him.

Luna takes a step back, but smiles at me as if she finds it sexy.
Of course she does
. Then she leans against the bar and stares at me.

"What the fuck!" Kade grabs his face and looks up, flaring his nostrils. "You damn lunatic."

I grab onto his shirt and slam him into some glasses. "Don't you play stupid with me, Kade. You know damn well who you gave that number to. You never give your number to girls. You're a man whore, remember? You can't handle any kind of commitment aside from where to stick your dick next."

He places his hand on mine and yanks it away from his shirt. Then he shoves me back, causing me to almost trip over a mat. "I don't have to explain shit to you. You're the one that has explaining to do."

A random guy walks over to the bar and holds up his phone. "Should I call the cops?"

I turn to him. "Put your fucking phone away!" Then I turn back to Kade and grab him by the throat, squeezing just enough to get his attentio
n. The fucking games are over. I lean in close to his face and push his head onto the bar. "You're fucking dealing for Cape," I say loud enough for only him to hear. I slam him again, but harder this time. "It's your fault Adric is dead. You damn piece of shit, I should kill you."

He reaches around and slams his fist into my side and I stumble a bit, letting go of his neck. He quickly grabs his neck and starts fighting for air. "You would kill your own brother over him, wouldn't you? He always was more important."

I look at him at a loss for words. Why the hell would he even think that? I love him more than anything, even though he's a cocky, arrogant son of a bitch. "What the hell, Kade!” Placing my hands on the bar, I bend forward trying to calm down. "What is that supposed to mean? Is that why you did it?"

He flinches as if I've just hit him again. "You think I did it on purpose? I didn't fucking know he would be so stupid about it. I was friends with Adric too, you know. At least I didn't run off like a coward after he died."

The words sting. I knew everyone would think I left because I was being a coward, but hearing it from my own brother hurts. No one knows the real reason. That reason being, if I didn't, Kade would probably be a vegetable right now and Phoenix would probably be dead. No one know's that I beat the shit out of Cape's brother to the get the answers. I knew that low life blood sucking leech, Echo, had the answers I needed. When he refused to give me what I wanted and then laughed in my face, I blew the fuck up and almost killed him. I got lucky I somehow found the strength in me to stop. I left him there, face so bloodied I could barely recognize him. The full effects of what happened didn't really sink in until Cape showed up with a gun pointed to my head.