This Regret (43 page)

"Answer me, Kellan. Do you think I'm that low?" Kade places a hand to his bruised face and pushes me again when I don't answer. "Fuck you!"

I grip onto the bar and look down at the floor, closing my eyes. I can't think straight right now. I'm still pissed as hell at him. My breathing picks up and my head feels clouded. "I need a minute to think," I snap. I stand tall and look him in the eyes like a man. “The truth is I want to kill you right now. A life for a life. You should have cared for your friends more than you did, but that's just it; all you think about is yourself. I can't touch you because your blood and killing you would be letting you take the easy route. Instead, I'm going to do nothing and let you live with what you've done. Your conscience is your biggest enemy. You have to look at Phoenix knowing what you've taken from her.” His face goes blank as he processes what I've said. “You’re my brother. And so was he, dammit!”

"You boys must have some crazy shit going on." L
una says as if nothing big is happening right now. "If I had to guess, my money would be on Kellan." We both look over and she shrugs. "Just saying, boys." She holds her arms up and backs away. "Please continue. This is making me hot."

Kade turns to Luna and throws something at her. "You pick a great fucking time to finally get hot. I guess I know what to do next time. Piss some mother fucker off and get my ass kicked a little. Great!" Just like that he's already back to thinking about getting laid.

I can't stand here and listen to this crap. I need to get out of here before I do something I regret. I turn my attention away from Luna and set my sights on Kade. "You get away from Cape and his shit. Don't let me find out you're still involved. You're lucky Phoenix doesn't know you're the cause of her brother's death. She deserves to know."

Kade straightens and walks to stand nose to nose to me. "If you fucking tell her, I will turn that shit around and say it was you." He points his finger in my chest. "You're the one that ran. Who do you think looks guilty?"

Is he serious right now?
He's just digging himself deeper. There's no way Phoenix would go for that crap.
Would she? Damn, I'm fucked!
"I slap his finger away and rub my hands over my face. “Just stay away from Cape and stay the fuck away from Phoenix. Don't you fucking touch her. She doesn't want you, Kade. She's made that clear so move on. I will break your fucking arms."

Kade gives me a smug smile, but doesn't say a thing as I turn around to leave. That makes me think he's already touched her.
Dammit!
I won't even get into what he meant earlier about last week. That will drive me to lose my sanity. I just need to leave. I need to be alone to catch my breath. Make an attempt to pull my thoughts together. I need to go to the woods since those assholes won’t stay away from my shop. I need to be alone before I kill someone.

Chapter Twenty

Phoenix

I step into the bar and get ready to walk past the office, but stop when I notice Dale sitting in the over-sized leather chair. His elbows are on the desk and his fingers are wrapped in his hair, as he stares down at the cash drawer in front of him.

Cautiously, I take a step inside, not sure if he wants to be bothered. I clear my throat, giving him the heads up that I'm there, before I speak. "Hey, Dale. Is everything all right?"

He inhales a deep breath before shoving the drawer into the safe and spinning the chair around. He gestures to the empty chair against the wall and says, "Come on in."

I glance out the door behind me to see Kade walk by, sporting a bruised left eye. He clenches the muscles in his jaw, turns the other way and keeps walking. Not really sure what that's about, I close the door behind me and plop down into the chair. "You look stressed, Dale. What are you doing hanging out around here?"

The lines around his eyes wrinkle and he lets out a frustrated huff and gives a
tell me about it
look. "I stopped in to check on a few things and decided it best, to stick around until those hooligans out there leave. Apparently, they don't feel the need to stop drinking anytime soon and I don't trust you by yourself with them, but until they do something really stupid, we can't just kick them out. It looks bad and don't want to cause a scene for other customers."

I lean forward in my chair confused. Surely he's not going to stick around all night just for that. "So you plan on staying all night until they leave? I'm sure I'll be okay, Dale. I've dealt with plenty of asses my whole life. I'm sure everything will be fine." I smile but he doesn't return it, so I change the subject. "And what crawled up Kade's ass? He looked really mad just a few minutes ago."

"His ego's a little bruised because someone handed his ass to him earlier." He tries to suppress a chuckle, but fails miserably. He's always told Kade that someday someone was going to give him a good ass whoopin if he didn't cool his cocky attitude. I guess he was right. "And I told him he's staying for a few more hours. I'm not leaving you alone. If it weren't for Kellan spending the day with Nancy, then I would have him here, but his mother needs him more right now."

My heart stops just from the mention of his name. I suck in a deep breath and choke. I actually choke.

Dale leans in as if he's about to slap me on the back. "Are you okay?"

I nod and wave my arms. When I can breathe again, I finally say, "I'm fine. I just choked on some spit. Went down the wrong pipe." I stand up and grab my purse strap, pulling it back over my shoulder. I can't even think right now. I thought he'd be gone. He must be saying his goodbye. "So Kellan is at your place?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. "It's nice to have him back, right?" I need answers.

His eyes light up and a tiny smile forms on his lips. "Yeah," he breathes. "It's a relief to know my son is safe. I gave up hope years ago we'd ever see him alive." He looks up, his eyes meeting mine. "Nancy couldn't be any happier. I decided to get out of the house for a few to give them some alone time. I couldn't handle her crying, then laughing, then crying again. That woman is something else."

"So is Kellan," I whisper.

Dale looks up from his watch in a hurry and taps it as if it has stopped working. "What was that?"

I smile and place my hand on Dale's shoulder, squeezing. "I said it's nice having Kellan back. I missed him." I walk toward the door and reach for the handle, turning back to look at Dale. "Did you want something else?"

His eyes widen as if he's just remembered something, then he stands up shuffling through some papers. "Yeah. Keep your eye on the staff because the drawer I counted isn't adding up right. If I find out someone's stealing and no one steps up to admit it, I'm getting all new workers. Got it? I'm done with the crap here. We already got rid of Saline, I don't want to have to get rid of anyone else. Oh, and we need to find someone to replace Saline. Get me someone by next week."
Too bad it can’t be Kellan.

I exhale and nod my head. I thought that problem was taken care of when we let Saline go. Who the hell else would be taking money? It started before Luna and there's no way Jen or Kade would steal from Dale. Now I need to figure out who can't count and find a new bartende
r.
This should be fun.
"Yeah, I'll keep my eye out. I should get out there before Kade freaks out.”

He waves me off and sorts through his desk. "Keep Kade on track. He tends to need a little motivation sometimes," he grumbles. "I'll see you later."

I step out of the office, closing the door behind me. The first thought that runs through my mind is Kellan.
He's already saying goodbye to his mother?
This is not a good sign. When I asked him if I'd see him again, there was a look in his eye that told me, I wouldn't. My heart broke in two right there in front of him. I had to get out of there as fast as I could so he wouldn't see me cry.

After spending the night in his bed, talking, and laughing, with our naked bodies tangled together; I know for a fact, I'm madly, deeply in love with this man. Nothing else can compare to the way he makes me feel. When I think about losing him, I can't breathe, nor do I want to. He is the only one that is able to rip me apart from the inside, and shatter my soul with one look in the eye. I waited far too long to see those eyes again and I never want to go a day without seeing them. I want to believe with everything in me, that by the way he held me close to him last night, kissing me in my sleep every time I stirred in his firm grip, that he feels the same way. The way he held my body against his, his arm pressing my face into the comfort of his chest, felt as if he never wanted to let go. To be honest, I didn't want him to. I wanted to stay that way forever, lost in my emotions for him.

After we showered and he made it clear we could never be more, I snatched up one of his shirts and my skirt and got the hell out of there. I went home, crept inside to be sure not to wake my mom and I changed before heading to Jen's.

It was so hard visiting with Jen and listening to her talk about how much she enjoyed having Tyler around, without me wanting to tell her what happened with Kellan. I couldn't do it though. I don't want her knowing that when I curl back into my shell again, hiding myself off from the world that it's because of Kellan. I don't want her to hate him or Tyler and knowing her, she won't be able to be around Tyler without thinking of how Kellan crushed my heart into a million pieces.

I step behind the bar and Luna is crouched down in front of the cooler, taking count. She peers over her shoulder when she hears me shove my purse into the drawer and lock it. "Hey. I'm taking count right now then I'll be heading out soon." She tilts her head, nodding across the room. "Watch out for those pricks. They're rude as shit. I've already taken my shoe off once and threatened to shove it down that ugly dick's throat."

I laugh at her choice of words and turn my head to get a look. There are three guys by the pool table talking loudly and slamming back beers. They all three have leather jackets with chains hanging from their jeans and big black boots. They definitely look a little on the rough side. After getting a look at them, I'm almost relieved Kade is staying, even though he hates me right now.

"I wouldn't mind seeing that," I tease. "Sometimes that's what they need.

She stands up, grunts and closes the cooler door. "Last time I checked, their beers were getting low. Would you mind taking over? I'll transfer the tab. I don't think I can handle one more second between them and Kade's vagina hurting."

Knowing she's had it rough with these guys, I agree, so she can hurry up and get out of here. I laugh and pull my hair into a bun. "Yeah, sure. If they leave a tip I will give it to you later."

She glances over at them with disgust and adjusts her tiny blue dress. "I'm sure they won't so don't even bother. Damn shit faced morons. I just need to go. I can't. I'm going to kill someone today."

She stomps her way to the cooler, brushing past Kade, which is carrying a tray of freshly sliced fruit over to the bar.

When he steps behind the bar, he slams the tray down next to him and glares over at the group of guys, his jaw twitching. One of the guys, the one with short blond hair, gives him a look and Kade turns away. "Fuck! Today sucks. I get stuck here because these shit heads decide to hang around, being total asses." He looks up as Dale walks past us and waves on his way out. From the look in his eyes, he's relieved to see his dad leaving. They must have gotten into it about him having to stay longer. "I have places to be, you know. My shift was over a half hour ago."

He keeps glancing over at the guys nervously. I don't get what his deal is. He isn't even the one working their tab. The more I watch him, I start to wonder if one of them gave him the black eye. I kind of hope so. Serves him right, being a jerk. "Is that what happened to your face?" I can't help but allow a small smile to break free, somehow amused that someone can make Kade so jumpy.

He huffs and glares at me as if I've just hit a nerve. "No. And don't even ask who it was. The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off," he growls.

He turns away ignoring me. I'm almost glad for it. All I want to do is get him and these drunks out of here. It will probably be quiet tonight, so it will give me some time to think.

When I look behind me, toward the pool table, I see one of the men staring at me. The same one that made Kade nervous just a few minutes ago. When we make eye contact, he motions for me to come over by holding up his empty beer.

My stomach twists up into knots as I make my way over, all three of the men now looking at me, watching me intently. As I get closer, I recognize one of them as the strange man I noticed staring at me from the parking lot of the bar next to Kellan's shop. His long hair is tangled and greasy looking. As I get a closer look, I see that I was right about the scars on his face. This guy has had his ass handed to him far worse than Kade did.
Damn, that must have hurt!

When I stop in front of them, the blond takes a steps closer to me and smiles darkly. He looks down at me with creepy red eyes, probably from a pair of those colored contacts they sell. Why he would want to look like death, I have no clue. It looks ridiculous. He even has a rod of some sort pierced across his cheek, stretching the skin. I can imagine if it weren't for the red eyes and hideous piercing that he might actually look normal and half way decent. More than the two men with him anyways.