They Don't Teach Corporate in College (38 page)

As you're experiencing these situations, you might ask yourself why you're frustrated in the first place. Is it that you feel helpless or put out? If so, you might put processes in place to eliminate that negative feeling. For example, I get frustrated by sitting in meetings because they make me feel inefficient. I find that if I schedule these to last just 30 minutes (enough time for quick status updates and to-dos), I'm not nearly as anxious about my time being wasted.

One last tip is to put the frustrating situation in context. You can say, for instance, “Of all the upsetting things that have happened to me in my life, getting chastised by my boss in front of my client was a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10, but not getting a seat on the subway this morning only gets a 2.”

Whenever I start hating my job, I take on more work so I don't have time to think about it. I find that the busier I am, the less opportunity I have to consider how my company is ruining my career. Because you know what the worst feeling is? Staring at the computer screen, your mind so numb that you can't even think of a Website to surf. It's at that moment that every second of the workday feels like an eternity and all of the negative emotions—dissatisfaction, frustration, depression—come flooding in.

Robyn, 25, Nevada

Maintaining a positive attitude is much easier when you're inspired by your work and the people around you. Unfortunately, the professional world today is often not the most motivating environment. Many managers feel that their employees should consider themselves lucky to have jobs, and they see no reason to lead and encourage them. Twenty-somethings find themselves
working more hours, while rewards and recognition for stellar performance are few and far between. Additionally, channels of career progression are more confusing than ever. Considering these circumstances, who could blame you for doing the bare minimum at work every day? The establishment doesn't deserve anything more.

The problem is, having an attitude similar to that only hurts you. Here's why: If you're playing your cards right, you're using your job as the means for achieving your big-picture career objectives. Therefore, when you stop giving your all because you didn't get a raise or someone didn't pat you on the back for a job well done, you're sabotaging your own goals. Meeting your own criteria for success should be motivation enough, don't you think?

Getting motivated is not as simple as it sounds when it's a rainy Monday morning, an angry client is on the phone, and you have urgent deadlines to meet. You can use this chapter's strategies to give your attitude a boost, but don't underestimate the importance of firing yourself up to do your best every day. Need a crutch? I suggest rereading a cheesy self-help book of your choice and posting some of your favorite inspirational quotes in your cube or office. Share your motivational tips with others, and you'll be surprised how much easier it is to believe in them yourself. Sign up for any personal development or leadership courses your company offers, and stay busy so you don't have time to sit around and think about how much better your job situation could be.

Always keep the big picture in the forefront of your mind, but don't forget to acknowledge your little successes along the way. Every time you master a new skill or finish a tough project, celebrate the fact that you're one step closer to your overall career goal. And just because your colleagues don't give you kudos doesn't mean your friends and family won't. Tell them!

No matter how hard you try to rally against negativity, there are going to be times when you feel like marching straight over to your boss's office and handing in your resignation. Beating yourself up for feeling this way will only upset you more. Instead, be patient and wait for the mood to pass. You might also try this suggestion from Hendrie Weisinger, author of
Emotional Intelligence at Work
: pretend it's your first day of a new job, and imagine approaching every task with confidence, eagerness, and enthusiasm. Or, you can pretend that this is the best day of your working life. You are full of energy and ideas, you're getting lots of things accomplished, and people are responding to you with praise. Maybe it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy!

In an ideal world, you would never cop an attitude with one of your colleagues or managers. Given that you're human, though, this is an unrealistic expectation. Sometimes you will take your aggravation out on another person, whether she deserves it or not. Provided you have a good rapport with your coworker and handle yourself correctly, one incident should not permanently affect the relationship (see
Chapter 7
).

When you lose your cool, you might feel embarrassed and want to pretend the incident never happened. This is not a good strategy. If you go too long without addressing the issue, the person you've offended might build up the interaction in her mind to be worse than it actually was, and she will remember it the next time the two of you talk. Before you know it, you'll have established a pattern of negative communication.

Effective damage control means taking responsibility for your actions. If you clash with a colleague, honestly assess the situation and look at it from the other person's viewpoint. Remember that being right doesn't justify rudeness or inappropriate behavior. Let go of your pride. It takes guts to go back and make it right, and your colleague will respect you for it. Approach the person and sincerely apologize for your role in the altercation. Explain that you're still learning, and assure her it won't happen again. Can't stomach an in-person conversation? Write a heartfelt card or email instead. Your colleague will likely be receptive to the overture. Instead of thinking you're a jerk, she will now perceive you as being mature beyond your years. Just another example of how a little effort on your part can turn most negative situations into positive ones!

In my 20s, I was a one-trick pony. My work was my entire life, and not in a good way. Every time I would momentarily escape to go out for drinks with friends or whatever, all I could do was complain about my job. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to cool it. Practically none of the things I vented about were of any significance in the long-term, and if I had just let more things go, I would have saved a whole lot of energy.

Nathan, 36, Washington

Choose a positive outlook.
Your thoughts make you who you are. You are responsible for your own life, and you have the ability to choose your response to your environment. If you make a conscious decision to begin each day with a positive outlook, negative conditions at work can't take that away from you.

Increase your self-awareness.
Begin to better understand your emotional hot buttons. Examine how you make judgments about the world, tune in to your senses, get in touch with your feelings, learn what your intentions are, and pay attention to your actions.

Imagine the worst-case scenario.
When you imagine the worst-case scenario and reconcile yourself to accepting that outcome if necessary, you stop worry in its tracks. Then, you will be able to rationally focus on ways to improve the situation.

Motivate yourself on a daily basis.
Motivate yourself by striving to meet your own criteria for success. Instead of relying on external validation, focus on using your job as the means for achieving your big-picture career objectives.

One company I worked for offered a course designed to improve employees' interpersonal skills. I was in public relations and interacted with people all the time, so it was a no-brainer for me to sign up. On the first day of class, I was surprised to see that I was the only marketing person in the group. Most of my classmates were computer programmers and graphic designers. Later, I asked one of the programming supervisors why he wanted his people to take this class. After all, these folks sat in front of machines all day long; it wasn't unusual for them to go from morning coffee to lunch without talking to a single human being.

“Aren't some folks drawn to programming because they don't want to deal with people, because the interpersonal stuff makes them uncomfortable?” I asked.

“That's sometimes true,” the supervisor said. “And it's all the more reason for them to take this class. There's no such thing as a job that doesn't require people skills. My staff might talk to a customer or colleague only once a day, but if that interaction goes badly, it will snowball, and I just can't afford that.”

Let this be a lesson for all of us. Throughout this book I've talked about how being the best and the brightest won't get you very far in the professional world if you can't communicate effectively with the people around you. An individual who has mastered the art of people management gets things accomplished by leveraging his efforts in concert with the efforts of others. This is not always easy to do. How many times have we said to ourselves, “If only I didn't need to rely on Person A and could do Task X by myself, everything would be just peachy”? Well, in this chapter I'll cover strategies for enlisting your colleagues' cooperation so that you can increase the control you have over your own success. I'll also spend some time on the underrated concept of gratitude in the workplace, as well as examine strategies for creating positive relationships and coping with difficult personalities.

Last year I graduated from college and took a job in a medium-sized life insurance firm. I had always considered myself pretty levelheaded, but I just couldn't figure out how to get along in the work world. I felt like my future at the company depended on the actions of other people, so every time I tried to get a colleague to do something, it was like going into the boxing ring. It turned into a vicious cycle. The more I tried to force things on people, the more I alienated them. Then they were angry, I was angry, no one got anything done, and the tension in the office became so great that someone had to go. Guess who was the lucky loser?