The Well-Spoken Woman (6 page)

—Indra Nooyi,
CEO, PepsiCo

Conventional
is not a word that comes to mind upon hearing Nooyi speak. How did a woman who was born in India, was raised Hindu but sent to Catholic schools, played guitar in an all-girl rock ‘n' roll band, was raised by a mother who said she would fast until she died if her daughter left the country—how did she become a titan of American business?

Apparently, she learned how to deal with a whole lot of crap.

Corporate-speak is not a part of Nooyi's DNA. The executive of a company that would be the thirty-seventh largest republic in the world if it were a country speaks freely about the exhilaration of being in charge. In the next breath, she will openly discuss the resulting guilt that she isn't doing enough for her children. Sacrifices come with the privileges of a big job, and there is no sugarcoating with Nooyi. She is a frank storyteller with a sharp sense of humor who draws upon her Indian heritage to articulate her worldview. As a woman of color, Nooyi is the rarest of rare birds in the corporate suite. Minority women hold less than 2 percent of all corporate officer positions in Fortune 500 companies. Nooyi says she learned early to embrace rather than hide her differences, and she believes PepsiCo hired her because she is a woman, is foreign born, and is willing to speak her mind.

Authenticity Is Positively Revealing

Nooyi says you must bring your whole self to projects every day. It doesn't work to create a persona for the workplace that is different from the one that left the house in the morning. The other roles—mother, daughter, wife—can't be checked at the office door. She believes people perform better on the job if they can be themselves. Practicing what she preaches, Nooyi has brought influences from Indian culture into the workplace with unique employee retention and recruitment practices. The outreach was a by-product of a trip to India to visit with her mother shortly after being promoted to CEO. Friends and neighbors stopped by the house, theoretically to offer Nooyi congratulations. It soon became clear the guests were there to acknowledge her mother's success, saying: “So this is the daughter. You are wonderful. You gave birth to this child. How did you bring her up? What did you feed her?”
⁷

After witnessing this outpouring of appreciation, it occurred to Nooyi that she should reach out to the parents of her executive committee members.
When she returned to the United States, she hand wrote twenty-seven letters telling the parents of her top management team how much she valued the contributions of their children and invited them to communicate with her. One parent wrote back saying how delighted she was to receive a report card on her child as it had been decades since the last one. Another said her son was thinking about leaving PepsiCo, and she had advised him it would be crazy to take another job.

The Journey

Nooyi says there is no line that can be drawn from where she started to where she ended up. In the conservative, middle-class household where she grew up, her parents and grandparents kept close watch over her. At the same time as she was encouraged to dream big about becoming a prime minister or an astronaut, her mother anticipated that her arranged marriage would take place by her eighteenth birthday. After earning an MBA, Nooyi decided graduate school in the United States would help her achieve her career goals. Her parents allowed her to apply only because they didn't think she would be accepted. And, if she did get in, they couldn't afford the tuition. Nooyi says her acceptance and full scholarship to the Yale School of Management was unheard for someone like herself. Her mother's great concern about her daughter's continuing education was that it “would make her an absolutely unmarriageable commodity.”

When she arrived in the United States in 1978, Nooyi compared her communications style to a character in a funny television commercial. She reminded herself of the delivery man in a FedEx® ad who spoke so quickly no one could understand a word he said. Her approach was that of a bomb thrower—someone who was willing to say anything. At Yale she began to tackle her speaking weaknesses, and she credits the university for teaching her “how to speak.” All graduate students were required to take an effective communications class. Nooyi barely squeaked by, but recognizing its importance, she challenged herself by taking the class again.

While a graduate student, Nooyi lived on a tight budget, financing her studies with odd jobs such as night desk clerk at a college dormitory. When it came time to interview for a real job, she fretted about how to dress professionally.
With $50 to her name, she headed to Wal-Mart® to buy a serious suit. In the dressing room, panic set in: she realized she wouldn't be able to try on the clothes. By custom, Indian women do not expose their ankles in public, and the dressing room curtains were so short, her legs would have been visible. Unable to buy a traditional suit, she found herself sitting in the waiting room at the Boston Consulting Group in a brightly colored sari. In a sea of conservative navy pinstripes, she felt like a “freak.” The interview was a good lesson in the competitive advantages of self-expression. She got the job.

JUST SAY NO TO PUBLIC FREAKING

The centipede was happy quite, until a toad in fun
Said, “Pray which leg goes after which?”
That worked her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in a ditch, considering how to run.

—Mrs. Edward Craster,
Speech: A Text with Adapted Readings
, 1871

The befuddled mind-set of the centipede resembles the mental gymnastics some speakers experience prior to interviews, panel discussions, meeting presentations, and other public-speaking situations. Many concerns—from doubts about appearance to anxiety about what to say—can inhibit your ability to be you. It is not possible to be yourself, much less project your best self, when you feel overwhelmed. When the mere thought of being the center of attention sets off an onslaught of negative mind chatter, you can find yourself slipping into speech mode.

Worry is often exacerbated by a memory of a previous bad experience. Who hasn't…gone blank and turned red? brought the wrong PowerPoint® to the panel discussion? been intimidated by someone in the room? mishandled a question? worn mismatched shoes to the important client meeting? It is difficult to get back on the horse after you've been bucked off, but you have to do it. Any feelings of dread and apprehension must be dealt with; otherwise, they can become paralyzing.

Arsenal of a Warrior Princess

Whether you need to slay a dragon or beat back destructive thoughts, it's good to be armed with a shield of confidence and some martial arts moves. Xena, Warrior Princess—the heroine of ancient times—kickboxed her way past the demons and bad guys with steely aplomb. Xena's wardrobe of breastplate and knee-high boots may not suit all occasions. But calling up your inner warrior princess will help you develop self-assurance for the stage. Any worries that flood your mind can be alleviated. You can develop practices that will unlock the mystery surrounding confidence. Three surefire habits will help you conquer the confidence conundrum.

Step 1: Set Rational Expectations

Not all speaking occasions are created equal—some are more important than others. Actress Sally Field gushed with exuberance during her Oscar acceptance speech: “I can't deny the fact that you like me. Right now! You like me!” Winning an Academy Award is a big deal, and Field was obviously deeply moved by the experience. There's nothing wrong with relishing well-deserved recognition, but most events are not earth shattering, and it is a mistake to view them that way. Most audiences are not expecting you to usher in a day of new reckoning. This isn't meant to undermine a talk but rather to help you keep it in perspective. Don't allow yourself to get so caught up in the headiness of giving a speech that you overemphasize a meeting or discussion or overestimate the audience's expectations.

The problem of having unrealistic audience expectations is common among some law students. When I met with the Yale Law Women student group, I was stunned to learn that these otherwise dynamic women were afraid they might misspeak in class. Several said their anxiety prevented them from responding to questions because they did not want to be judged
by classmates who send text messages while someone is speaking. A second-year student described how she spent an entire semester changing her classroom seat so the professor could never call on her.

These stories echoed the findings of a 2006 study, which showed that the behavior of male students at Yale was different. The men exhibited more confidence in the classroom and were much less hesitant to speak up. Thus, the women's excessive worry was preventing them from honing the skills of articulating arguments and defending positions. The self-imposed gag order was negatively impacting their classroom experience and could put them at a competitive disadvantage in the job market and the courtroom.

Setting unrealistic expectations for the audience and for your own performance will result in a correspondingly high level of anxiety. This anxiety can be managed with an exercise that will help you keep the speaking situation in perspective and not blow it out of proportion. Develop a list of everything you dread. What could go wrong while you are talking? Start by identifying your most pressing worries so you can assess the consequences should those things actually happen. Here's a sample list:

 

• My voice will crack, and I'll be embarrassed.
  
• My mind will go blank.
  
• My face will turn bright red.
  
• I will make a mistake.
  
• Someone will ask me something I don't know.
  
• People will laugh when I'm not trying to be funny.
  
• The audience will be bored.
  

 

Now let's manage these concerns by considering the result if any of these things happened. What is the worst possible reaction of the audience? Put yourself in the place of the audience. How do you react when you notice a presenter is nervous? Would you ridicule her or empathize with her situation? You can also take comfort in the fact that most audience members are not hanging on your every word. Don't allow self-absorption to blind you from the reality that while they are listening, they are also thinking about lunch, glancing at notes, and checking e-mail. If you don't draw unnecessary attention to your discomfort, it likely will go unnoticed.

My Mind Will Go Blank

This is the number-one concern of presenters who suffer stage fright. Prepare by bringing notes with you. When the brain freezes, you can simply pause, look down, and gather up the next point. No one in the audience knows what you were planning to say, so they are often unaware if you skip something.

My Voice Will Crack

This common problem at the beginning of presentations can be prevented by properly warming up the voice and relaxing the vocal chords. The next section lays out breathing and relaxation exercises that improve vocal quality.

My Face Will Turn Bright Red

It is impossible to stop blushing on command. While a hot face feels uncomfortable, it may not be apparent to the audience, particularly if they are several feet away. The degree of redness can be reduced with proper breathing techniques. Blushing is exacerbated if you hold your breath or take shallow, rapid breaths.

I Will Make a Mistake

If your goal is to be perfect, you will never achieve it. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you can correct mistakes later during the question-and-answer period. If the error is simply a misspoken word, continue on. If you have stated something inaccurately, go back and restate the point to lessen confusion. It is possible to make a minor mistake and still do well.

Someone Will Ask Me Something I Don't Know

Don't try to fake your way through an answer. The better technique is to say: “I haven't seen that, but I can tell you this….” Or, “I don't know, but I will find out for you. Right now, I can tell you this….”
Chapter 9
covers how to handle difficult or tricky questions in more detail.

People Will Laugh at Me

Most audiences are well behaved, but seeing a segment of your audience snickering is no barrel of monkeys. Don't belabor the situation. Put on a smile, nod as if you are in on it, and keep talking.

They Will Be Bored

No one is expecting you to be as entertaining as comedian Kathy Griffin. If you prepare your material in advance and rehearse, you will be able to deliver.
Chapters 5
and
7
cover everything you need to know about developing a compelling message tailored to the audience's interests.

Step 2: Calm the Fight-or-Flight Response

The body's reaction to stage fright is similar to the body's reaction to a sudden threat: this is what is known as the fight-or-flight response. When confronted with a physical danger, such as the sudden appearance of a wild animal, the body responds by instinctively readying to protect itself. The same physical reaction is felt by many speakers at the prospect of public speaking. A rush of adrenalin makes the heart beat faster, circulating more blood to the brain and muscles. The racing heart causes the muscles to tense and the flow of perspiration to increase. As the heart continues to race, more oxygen is needed, which can cause breathing to become shallow and rapid.