The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1) (7 page)

“Did you ever get to talk to a counselor or anything like that?” Ozias asked.

“Not for a long time. I started seeing Dr. May my senior year of high school. I threw myself into school and taking care of my brothers. In college, I took summer classes every year, just to stay busy, and graduated early. My uncle moved back to town and took over the restaurant a few months after they didn’t come home. I worked as a waitress and by the time I was a sophomore in college I was helping with all the catering and event planning. I love to do that and it gave me a focus, but all of it was just a Band-Aid.” I moved to the side of the bed and dangled my legs over. I needed to stretch, I was a ball of tight muscles. Ozias moved next to me and rubbed the back of my neck.

“Do you need anything else? More pizza, water?” He was so sweet. I could tell he was a little shocked by my story and he was trying so hard to comfort me.

“I’m ok. I just feel really tense. I think I need to move around a bit. Can we resume this later? It takes a lot out of me to tell this story and with the last few days already being so crazy…moving here, finding out my furniture couldn’t be delivered, being injured by some hot stranger.” I nudged him with my shoulder so he knew I was joking. He smiled and it make me warm all over.

“Why don’t we go for a walk? You haven’t seen the greenhouse, it’s beautiful.”

Uh, more elevator time if we do that, ugh. “Can, I take a raincheck? I don’t feel like fighting the elevator demon right now.”

He laughed out loud. “Elevator demon? You feel that strongly against them?”

“They’re pure evil,” I shot back.

“Can you tell me why though?” He got serious again.

“No, not really, and that’s the pain in the ass about all my triggers. Most of them I can’t tell you why they render me terrified. I do know that claustrophobia is part of it, and I feel like I’m in a tomb, but I can’t tell you why. I’m working on it though. Part of why I’m here.”

“And you don’t want to get involved with me because I would hinder that in some way?”

“Oh, Ozias, I don’t know, but that’s what I am afraid of. When I wasn’t studying, I spent all of my college years trying to drown my pain away with alcohol, partying, and guys. I realized quickly that I didn’t enjoy the first two very much and guys just always left me feeling hollow.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, I promise.” He touched my knee and looked in my eyes.

“Hey, I thought we were going to take a break and do something to take my mind off all this.”

Ozias wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in to kiss me.

“Not that! Geez!”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m not mad. I just need a distraction that’s not sexual at the moment, ok? If you think you’re serious about me, using sex as a way to comfort me isn’t going to work. That’s what I did before, I just told you that, and it turned out to be the wrong thing.”

He sighed and stood up reaching for my hands. “Ok, well we could do something really serious and no fun at all.”

I smirked at him as he pulled me to standing. “I didn’t mean it had to be that bad. What activity did you have in mind that is so depressing?”

His demeanor changed from playful to serious. “We can go visit my mother.”

Chapter Eleven

              The McKinnon’s unit looked similar to Ozias’. A lot of the same colors and finishing, except this one felt like a home, like a home you’d come back to. There was sweet vanilla scent in the air, like cookies baking. The windows had heavy draperies encasing them in deep rich tones. Family pictures were places methodically around the open concept living room and on walls. I was following Ozias and noticed a walker in one corner of the room. I remember now him mentioning his mother having a nurse come each day. Was she sick? Was that why Doc talked about her the way he did? I was about to find out when we stopped at a bedroom door at the end of the hall.

“Can you wait here a minute?” Ozias asked. I nodded. He knocked lightly. “Carla? Mom? It’s me, Ozias, can I come in?”

There was noise of movement and someone walking. The door opened slightly.

“Ozias! Give us a minute and we’ll come out. She just woke from a nap.” A petite women with a round figure wearing purple scrubs answered the door. Her honeyed skin was slightly wrinkled and her grin was wide and bright when she saw Ozias.

He nodded towards me, “Carla, this is my friend Adira. She moved into Claire’s. We’ll be in the living room waiting.”

“Nice to meet you,” Carla said extending her hand to me. She looked to Ozias with a sly grin. I shook her hand. It was warm, comforting, like a mother’s hand.

We took a seat on the couch that was facing the windows waiting for his mother. I had so many questions but I felt embarrassed to ask.

“I guess I should have told you this already, but you’ve just had so much on you I didn’t want to add another depressing element. I try to visit every day and since I didn’t yesterday, I promised I’d come today. I hope you don’t mind.” Ozias appeared apprehensive.

“Is she sick?” I whispered.

“She has early onset Parkinson’s Disease. She’s had symptoms since she was forty. She has good days and bad. We had to hire Carla to come every day about a year ago when dementia type symptoms appeared. The disease has progressed faster than her doctors anticipated.” He was trying to be upbeat but I could see his pain in his eyes.

“Can she, will she, um, does she know who you are?”

“Yes, as of right now she knows family. My brothers don’t come as often as they should so there has been a few times it took her a minute to remember. That made them come even less. Shook up my youngest brother, Declan, pretty bad. He’s in college at Harvard. I have expect him to skip Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.”

“And your other brother, Alastair?”

“He lives here, in the city, but works all the time, I mean all the time. He’s in real estate. He rarely comes home, only if dad calls and makes him.”

“Alastair? That’s your dad’s name too, isn’t it? So he’s a second?”

“No, he’s a third, my dad was named after my grandad. He owned a lot of property here, his company is the one Alastair works for and my dad does too, but he doesn’t really make decisions anymore, he handed that down to Alastair.”

I was about to ask what Ozias did for a living when I heard Carla enter the room.

“Come on, Ms. Josephine. Ozias is here and he brought a friend, a lady friend.” She smiled and winked at Ozias. He turned bright red. I chuckled.

“Hey, mom. Glad we came while you’re awake. You look lovely today.” Ozias took his mother’s hand that was shaking and kissed her cheek. She was almost the same height as Ozias with black hair that fell to her shoulders.  She had a curvy, shapely figure and I thought she must have been quite voluptuous in her youth. Her skin was olive and her eyes were bright green. She was beautiful and I knew now where Ozias got his looks.  He pointed to me and made introductions. “Mom, this is my friend, Adira, she moved into Claire’s unit.”

I was nervous. I didn’t know what to do. Did I try to shake her trembling hand? I noticed she moved slowly and a few times she stopped as if she was frozen in one spot. I could see her mind willing her body to move. Slowly she’d take another step. Carla walked beside her as a guide. Ozias led his mother to a chair opposite the couch. I hopped over to her and bent slightly.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. McKinnon.” Instead of shaking her hand I took it gently in mine and gave a gentle squeeze.

“Claire? You know you call me Jo. Don’t be silly.” She looked at me in confusion. Her voice was slightly shaky.

“No, mom. This is Claire’s niece, Adira. She’s going to live in Claire’s unit now” Ozias patiently explained to her.

“Oh, well you sound like Claire. You can call me Ms. Jo then.”

I laughed. I guess the southern accent was what she associated with Aunt Claire.

Clara broke the awkwardness. “May I get you two anything? Ms. Jo is about to have some tea and I made chocolate chip cookies.”

Ozias looked at me for an answer. “That would be lovely, thank you.” I said.

We sat across from Ozias’ mom, drank hot tea, and ate cookies mainly in silence. Then all of a sudden his mom spoke, “So you’re the niece Claire was always talking about? I’m so excited that you’re finally here, now all the plans we made can come true. I’m so happy for you and Ozias.” She looked back and forth to both of us.

I almost spit out my tea. “She spoke about me to you?”

Ozias was stunned as well. “Mom, are you sure? Dad didn’t even know Adira was moving in to Claire’s.”

“Your father doesn’t know everything. He thinks he does, but he doesn’t. Claire told me many things he knows nothing about.” She appeared satisfied with herself. It was clear she had moments of clarity but speech was challenging for her. She sipped her tea looking at us.

“You’re right about that, mom.” Ozias spoke to her like she wasn’t sick and that warmed my heart.

“Um, what did she say about me? If you don’t mind me asking.” I didn’t know she had ever talked about me except to her lawyers.

Ms. Joe sat her tea cup on the table next to her and it almost fell over from her trembling. Carla quietly caught it.

              “She told me all kinds of things. Let’s see. Well, I know you love to plan parties. She said you were good at it. She told me that you live in Mississippi and that she wanted you to live in her place after she died. She thought you’d love the city and of course the main reason was so you’d fall in love with Ozias.” She had the innocence of a child in her expression.

              “What? Aunt Claire thought I’d fall in love with Ozias?” He was staring at me and looked as shocked as I was.

              “Mom, what are you talking about?” Ozias said each word slowly for emphasis.

              Ms. Joe looked at both of us with a grin on her face. Maybe she was having a moment of mental instability, some memory issues?

              “Just look at the two of you. Claire would be so pleased. She was hoping you would move here, but she was afraid you wouldn’t. I’m so glad that you did. Ozias, aren’t you?”

              “Yes,” Ozias said cautiously. “But, why did she want Adira to move here, to meet me? This doesn’t make sense. Are you sure you remember clearly. Carla, how has she been today?”

              “She’s actually been well. She’s been quite well all week. More clear than normal actually. Although, the doctor did adjust some of her medicine.” Carla didn’t seem shocked about any of this.

              “Oh, Ozias, you silly boy! You know I’ve been telling you for months that a girl was coming for you. I just didn’t know when it would be. Claire passed away before she could tell me the whole plan, the plan to get you and Adira together that is. I miss her, so. She was the only friend I had anymore.” She sighed and looked heartbroken. “You know dear,” she looked to me then, “sickness makes friends scarce. Oh, they try in the beginning but as you progress, they start dropping off one by one. Claire never did, if anything the last few months she talked to me and visited me more than she ever had. It’s like she knew what was coming.”

              I swallowed hard. This is all too much, just too much. I, I, I can’t breathe. I need air.

I stood up with my crutches as quickly as I could. “I need some air. Excuse me, please” I gasped.

              Ozias moved into action quickly. He motioned to the balcony and walked outside with me. I leaned my back against the balcony wall and propped my crutches next to me. I ran my hands through my hair and doubled over. I couldn’t take it anymore! I screamed and I didn’t care who heard or what they thought. “What_the_hell_is_going_on?” I shouted through panted breaths. I stood up and balanced myself and pushed my pointer finger into Ozias’ chest—hard! “Did you know? Did you?” I pushed into his chest with my finger with every word. I glared into his eyes. “Did you try so hard to convince me to stay with you to help carry out some ridiculous plan you and my aunt concocted? Tell me the fucking truth!”

Ozias’ nostrils flared and his face turned red. He grabbed my hand to stop my assault. “I don’t have a fucking clue what she’s talking about, Adira! Yes, she has been babbling about a women for me for the last few months but she never said a name. I didn’t even know Claire was spending that much time with her. I guess it was while I was at work and out of town.” He spun around quickly and started to pace. “Shit, that’s what she was talking about last night when I called her.”

              “What do you mean?”

              “When I spoke to her last night, she wanted me to tell her all about the girl living at Claire’s. I knew dad had briefly told her what happened last night when he came back to get the crutches and cast for you, and he said she needed to see me, but that’s nothing new. She wants me to come by every day, so that wasn’t out of the ordinary. But, she just kept asking me if I liked you and I thought it was odd but it was late and pass her bedtime. Routine is important for her health. Crap. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I bet I know who does and I’m about to find out. He stormed off the balcony leaving me alone, angry, and confused.

              I hobbled back into the living room in no more time for niceties. It was totally against my southern upbringing and I’m sure a few of my relatives are rolling over in their graves but at that moment I didn’t care. “I’m leaving, Ozias. Don’t follow me and don’t give me anymore of your bullshit. Give me your key. I want my things.” I was trying to tap my foot but only having one to stand on was making that difficult so I was even more agitated.

              “What? You’re leaving? Where will you go?” Ozias was yelling at me and that fired me up even more.

              “Don’t yell at me! It’s none of your business where I’ll be. Just give me your keys—now.” I hopped closer to him. We were almost nose to nose.

              Carla was getting worried because she tried to step between us. “Now, why don’t we all calm down and I’ll make you something cool to drink. Ozias, why don’t you show Ms. Adira into the library?” She motioned with her head to Ozias’ mother who was wide-eyed and trembling with tears pooling in her eyes. I felt like shit at that moment, but I still wanted out of their home.

              “Crap.” Ozias and I said at the same time.

              “Can you just wait one minute and I’ll take you back to my place. You can get your things and leave if you want to.”

              My chest was heaving up and down and I clenched my jaw. “Ok.” I said curtly.

              Ozias went to his mom and knelt down beside her. I was so mad my ears where ringing so I didn’t hear what he said to her. At that moment Doc entered the unit.

              “Carla?” he called out. When he rounded the corner he stopped in his tracks at the scene. It must have looked as intense as I felt because his face paled. “What the hell is going on? Ozias, what did you do now?” That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Ozias and all hell broke loose.