The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1) (2 page)

“It was an accident,” Ozias whispered looking at the floor. He was obviously humiliated and worried. The crease between is eyebrows returned and his lips were tight. I had to restrain from reaching my hand out to comfort him. My pain, as bad as it was, was numbing compared to my need to comfort this man, this total stranger. I couldn’t explain my need to make him feel better. I just knew I needed to.

“It was an accident,” I said and squared my shoulders. Both men looked at me then puzzled by my response. Ozias’ and my eyes connected and an understanding passed between us.  He looked slightly relieved but the crease was still there.

“Look, Miss…Ozias, what is her name?” Doc was hovering over me but looking over his shoulder at Ozias. Ozias then went still and a look of guilt washed over his face, I assume, because he hadn’t asked my name. In all fairness I hadn’t asked his either and honestly, we were both preoccupied with the ridiculous situation to even think to ask.

Suddenly, I was angry. This doctor, whoever he was, definitely has an attitude and for some reason does not respect Ozias at all. I didn’t like being talked about like I wasn’t right there. He can ask me what happened and what my name is!

“Excuse me, Sir” I said in my most domineering Southern woman voice. “I feel that since I’m the one hurt and because Ozias and I just met 30 minutes ago, it seems only polite that you address these questions to me.” He and Ozias both jerked their heads in my direction so I continued. “Personally, I don’t care for your bedside manner. I appreciate you coming to check on me but I might fare better taking my chances at the ER tonight. If you could kindly tell me where the nearest one is I won’t take up another minute of your precious time.” I crossed my arms and held my chin up for emphasis.

Ozias stared at me in disbelief. Obviously no one spoke to Doc this way as even Doc had a shocked look on his face and was momentarily speechless. But then he surprised me and a smile broke out on his face and he actually laughed out loud. Loud enough to turn Mark’s and a few tenants’ attention to us.

“There’s no need for the southern belle attitude. I’m trying to help you, ok? There’s no need for you to go to the hospital, at least not tonight. You wouldn’t be seen until the early morning hours and from what I can tell, you’re not from here, and seem to be alone. That’s not the best idea for a girl like yourself to be alone.”

Southern belle attitude? Girl like me? What?! He was a condescending SOB and he hasn’t seen fiery yet! I was about to give him fiery when Ozias spoke.

“Dad, please. This is all my fault. Can you just look at her injuries and ascertain whether or not her ankle is broken or just sprained? Please, I’m sure she’s in pain and tired of being on a couch in the lobby. Just help her.” He looked at me apologetically. I nodded slightly to indicate I appreciated his standing up for me. And quite honestly, I was in pain and I was tired.

Doc sighed. “Well, what’s your name Miss?”

“Um, Adira. Adira Elizabeth McLeod.” As soon as I said my full name I was embarrassed. Maybe it was my Southern upbringing but I felt the need to tell them, mainly Ozias, my full name. Could I possibly be flirting at a time like this? Geez, I need my head examined more than my ankle at this point. Did I think by giving him my full name he would be able to find me later? I don’t know, but now I’m more embarrassed and I feel my cheeks flush.

“
Adira”
I swear Ozias just whispered my name. We looked at each other then and a shudder passed through me.

Doc, completely oblivious to the connection between Ozias and me, starts to question me again. “So, Ms. McLeod, where do you hurt the most? May I touch your leg and ankle to examine you?”

“Yes,” I said quietly.

Doc touched my leg and I winced but when he lightly picked up my ankle I let out a small scream. He quickly put it back down but continued to touch it and inspect the bone. I was in agony. I’m quite a clumsy person so I’ve had my share of injuries but I can’t remember feeling this much pain before and that scared me. My heart rate immediately shot up and all the things Doc said a few minutes before played in my head. I
am
here in the city alone. I
don’t
want to go to the hospital and be there all night long, again alone. I placed my hand over my chest and felt the pounding of my heart. My Fitbit was registering my pulse at 90 and climbing. My head felt dizzy and my throat felt tight. Oh my God, please not again, here in front of Ozias. Please do not go full blown panic attack!!!

Doc looked very concerned all the sudden. “Ms. McLeod, is your chest hurting? Do you have a history of heart problems? Do you take medication for blood pressure?”

His questions just amped up my anxiety! But I had to calm down. I had too! I started my breathing exercises Dr. May had taught me and the same ones I used during my yoga classes.

I could feel both their eyes on me waiting for my answers but my throat was too tight to speak so I just shook my head back and forth indicating a no. Breathe, in the nose, out the mouth. Find a focal point and concentrate on regulating my breathing. This was playing in my head while I was searching the lobby for a focal point to help calm me when I made eye contact with Ozias. Those beautiful hazel eyes stared right at me, almost like he had the power to reach into my mind and calm me. I exhaled slowly and kept starring in his eyes. I felt my heart beat slowing. I sadly broke the eye contact and glanced at my Fitbit, my pulse was now 72 and going down. I took a few more calming breaths and then looked at Doc to answer his questions.

“No, no heart problems.” I hesitated because this was information I didn’t give out and certainly not around hot guys like Ozias, but I was more than ready to get out of this lobby so I answered Doc’s questions. “I have anxiety, but I’m not crazy,” I said a little too quickly with my eyes towards my lap. I couldn’t look at Ozias now.

“I have triggers. Just being hurt and realizing I am alone in this city, is well, um, overwhelming, and with the pain….. I just, I just need you to tell me what to do so I can get to my co-op and try to forget this day happened. Is it broke, my ankle, do you think it’s broke?”

Doc was silent a minute as he seemed to process all I said. Then with a sigh he answered me. “No, I don’t think it is. An x-ray would be the only way to know for sure but in my opinion, I think you’ve just sprained it very badly. I could take you to the office tomorrow for an x-ray just to be on the safe side, and since my son caused this accident,” He paused to look back at Ozias who was studying the tiles with his hands linked in front of him. He looked just like a child being scolded and my heart went out to him. Doc turned back to me. “I have an air cast in the co-op that you’re welcome to use for the night. You need to do RICE, that’s rest, ice, compression, elevate. Do not put any pressure on it! You can take up to four 200 mg ibuprofen, that is as long as you’re not allergic, and only 6 hours apart. Most of all just rest and it would be best for you not to be alone tonight, to have someone help you so you don’t put any pressure on your ankle.” He paused while in thought then added, “You know, we have a pair of crutches in the co-op too. Let me go ask Mark if the building has a wheelchair we can borrow to take you up to your co-op and I’ll go get the air cast and crutches.”

Doc got up and started towards the desk that Mark was sitting behind. I started to object to the wheelchair and even the air cast and crutches but when I tried to sit up straighter to get his attention I moved my ankle suddenly and a sharp pain coursed through my ankle.

“Damn it!” I muttered biting my lip to stop myself from screaming. Ozias immediately knelt beside me with such a look of compassion and guilt on his face I reacted without thinking and placed my palm on his cheek. He looked at me shocked but then pushed his cheek into my palm as to say, please don’t move your hand. My whole body was on fire and again, I noticed his touch dulled my pain. What was this guy, some superhero with the power to heal? I was starting to get a little freaked out but he spoke and it broke my thoughts.

“Adira, I cannot tell you how sorry I am. Doc, um, my Dad, he’s right. I’m always messing up by just not paying attention. I wouldn’t have hurt you for anything in the world. I’m so sorry. How can I make it up to you? I mean, obviously not tonight, you need rest, but any other time please let me know.” He reached down into his pocket and took out his cell phone. “Here, let me give you my number. That way when you’re ready, or if you need anything, you can call and I’ll be right there.”

I had to remove my hand from his face to get my phone off my lap. The heat loss was immediate and I felt an ache. I shook my head lightly. What was this guy doing to me? He is a complete stranger. For all I know he knocked me down on purpose to injury me and find out where I live. Which is ridiculous. I don’t know him but I’ve always had this sixth sense about people and I’m usually spot on. Mama used to say it ran in the family but we didn’t talk about it outside the walls of our house because we didn’t want the townspeople to think we came from a line of witchcraft. I chuckled thinking about that. “Give me your number and then I’ll text you mine,” I said. “Oh, and what’s your last name? Just so I can put it in my contacts.”

He gave me his number then looked at me deeply, “McKinnon. Ozias Boyd McKinnon.”

I just stared at him gazing deeply into those hazel eyes. “Ozias Boyd McKinnon,” I repeated back as I typed it into my contacts. “Your name is beautiful and unique…. and Scottish.”

He laughed, “Well, unique I’ve heard before but never beautiful and yes, it is Scottish. McLeod, that’s Scottish too. And your name, Adira, that’s, um, that’s the most beautiful name I’ve ever heard.” He looked away from me as if he was afraid of my response.

Doc returned ruining the moment and Ozias quickly stood up and away from me. His sudden retreat surprised me but then I realized it was to let Doc get close to me. Still, it bothered me. “Well, no wheelchair. I’m upset about that and told Mark that I’m contacting the board tomorrow. It’s a safety issue. A building this size should have one, just for emergencies. So, Ms. McLeod, we’re going to have to get you to your co-op another way.” He turned to Ozias to speak. “Son, you’re going to have to carry her and hold her tightly until she’s gently laid on her bed.” He turned back to me. “You weigh, what, 120 or so?” Turning again to Ozias, “That shouldn’t be a problem for you, right, Son?”

I was horrified! I was NOT going to give my weight to Doc or Ozias and as much as the thought of being back in his arms warmed me, I was NOT being carried all the way to my co-op. No, this was not happening. I started to object and tried to swing my legs around to get off the couch when the pain almost rendered me unconscious.

Both men came to my side quickly but only Ozias spoke in a kind voice, “Adira, please, let me carry you. It’s the least I can do and I promise I won’t drop you. You’ll be safe with me.” Then he scooped me up again as if I was as light as a feather. My arms went around his neck and I found that sweet spot to rest my head against on his chest. My ankle was throbbing and I was nauseous from the pain but I sighed a sigh of contentment being in his arms again. Ozias looked down at me seriously, “Do you trust me?” he asked with a shake in his voice like he was afraid of my answer.

Without any thought I answered instinctively, “Yes, Ozias, I do trust you. Completely.”

He carried me to the elevators with Doc behind us and it dawned on me how true my answer was. I did trust him and I couldn’t even tell you why, but I did. Completely.

Chapter Two

              The elevator doors closed and I had to close my eyes and bury my head further into Ozias’ chest. My breathing became erratic. I can do this, I willed myself to believe this. No more panic attacks today, I can’t take it! Doc’s voice broke my silent plea.

              “What floor are you on? You and Ozias can go ahead to your co-op and I’ll bring the cast to you.” I feel both their eyes on me but I am paralyzed, I can’t speak. I feel my heartbeat increase and I reluctantly remove my right arm from around Ozias’ neck to feel my heartbeat. It was about to come out of my chest and I started to feel faint and the walls of the elevator started closing in on me.

              Ozias must have sensed this because he spoke softly to me, “Is one of your anxiety triggers elevators?” I still couldn’t speak but I nodded slightly. I heard Doc sigh obviously annoyed with my behavior. This man is quickly becoming my least favorite person and his reaction is not helping me.

              “Can you show me with your fingers what floor you’re on?” Ozias shifted his weight as he asked the question and it jarred me out of my anxiety ever so slightly but enough to make me realize that he probably needed to put me down soon. I’ll never admit it, but I was flattered Doc thought I weighed 120; 135 is more accurate although I can’t say for sure because I never weigh myself—another trigger. I’m a curvy girl and even though I wouldn’t call myself a “plus size” today’s body standards would. I have an hourglass figure and a size D breast so I’m not and will never be a size 0. I was okay with my curvy size 10 until I moved to the city, so lately I’ve been subconscious of my size and right now I’m very aware of how heavy I am feeling while Ozias is struggling to hold me under his father’s scrutiny.

              I lifted my right hand and splayed four fingers in the air.

              “Four, you live on floor four? What---“

              I interrupted Ozias with a shake of my head and then splayed the four fingers again, then a slight pause and joined my pointer finger to my thumb in the shape of a zero. I looked in his eyes to see if he understood and he shook his head up and down. I quickly wrapped my right arm back around his neck and placed my head back on his chest breathing in his wonderful scent.

              Ozias and Doc glanced at each other and Doc gave a little nod. “Fortieth then.” Doc leaned across us and pushed the button. I was very thankful we were alone in the elevator at the moment so I could pull myself together as best as I could. I closed my eyes when I heard the whirring of the equipment and felt the bounce of the movement. And as if luck wasn’t on my side enough today, we stopped at several floors on the way up. I really did think my heart might explode. I slightly opened my eyes at each floor to see the new occupants and see their startled expression of Ozias holding me. Just when I thought I couldn’t handle one more minute in this tomb Ozias started speaking to me.

              “What’s your favorite book?” Okay, very random and not at all what I thought he’d asked me at this particular moment. “That is, if you even like to read. I assume you do because you had a kindle in your purse.” This garnered a few strange glances from the others riding this death machine with us. I was shocked to hear my own voice as I answered.

              “Um, well, that depends on the genre. Um, for contemporary fiction I would have to say Kristin Hannah.” I answered in a whisper.

              “I haven’t heard of her. What is it about her writing that appeals to you?”

              “Well, she tells stories about relationships and families. She’s real, like her characters feel real, like you know them by the end of the book and you miss them after you’re through reading it. And I love that most her books’ setting is in the Oregon and Washington area.’

              “Oh, yea, I like books like that too. You can identify with the characters. I get it. So, you like Oregon? What’s your favorite place?”

              I was thankful we had finally reached my floor. Not just because I needed to get out of this elevator but also because I didn’t want to answer that last question. I was embarrassed to admit I had never been there but that it sounded like such a lovely place. Truth is, I hadn’t been much of anywhere outside the southern states that bordered Mississippi.

              Once we emerged to the hall, I took a deep breath and instantly felt better. The elevator closed taking the remaining occupants to the roof that housed a pool, hot tubs, an outdoor kitchen and a greenhouse in one of the corners. I’d yet to go up there but I imagined it was beautiful. Doc asked what number I was in and that brought me back to my senses.

              “Oh, yes, 400, that’s my place. Right there.” I nodded to the door diagonal to where we were standing. Then I realized Doc never got off to go to his co-op so I asked, “What floor do you live on?”

              Ozias laughed. “We both live on this floor too. Dad and mom live in 404 and I live in 402, so I’m your closest neighbor. So I guess this is as good as time as any to welcome you to the building.” His smile lit his eyes up and I melted.

              “I’ll be right back with the air cast and crutches. Sit her down gently, Son,” Doc said then headed down the hall towards his unit.

              I opened my purse in my lap and dug around for the keys. Normally, my purse is as organized as the rest of my life- everything in its place- but the contents were scattered all over the lobby when I fell so it took me longer than normal to find them. I felt the cold medal of my bronze initialed key ring with the few keys I owned. “Aha! Here they are,” I exclaimed as I lifted them by one finger and twirled them to land in my palm. “Lean me down and I’ll open the door since your arms are occupied,” I shyly said to Ozias.

              He leaned slightly but grabbed tighter to my legs as not to drop me. That slight pressure on my right leg made me wince. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Again. Seems I can’t do much right today,” he said with a tight expression.

              “No, its fine, really, you have been so helpful. I just need to sit down,” I said as I pushed the door open and Ozias walked through the door into the foyer of my unit.

              The wall of windows on the west side of the unit filled the room with so much natural light there wasn’t a need to turn the lights on. The stark white 12x12 porcelain tile and the equally white walls made the space even brighter. The foyer was small and at this time empty so Ozias only had to take about four steps to enter the open concept of the main living area. When I saw the speechless expression on his face, I suddenly remembered I don’t have any furniture and I saw a little bit of panic cross his face as he turned his head from side to side obviously trying to figure out where he could put me down. Embarrassment seemed to be the theme for the day so I swallowed hard before I started crying again and explained.

              “My furniture won’t be delivered until Tuesday….I, I didn’t know the elevators couldn’t be used for moving on the weekends. I just have that bean bag chair and a sleeping bag until then.” I looked to my lap to escape his stare. God, would this day ever end? “Just put me down on the bean bag chair. It’s fine, really.”

              He hesitated. You could see the wheels turning in his mind as he contemplated what to do. After a minute, he walked towards the middle of the living room where my zebra print bean bag chair and my wooden lap table sat. My laptop sat atop the table and when he was walking he was so careful not to drop me he didn’t see the cord traveling across the floor to the outlet on the far wall. Before I could warn him, I felt his shoe catch and we were toppling down to the floor. In an amazing display of strength, Ozias slightly hopped to untangle his foot and pulled me closer to his body as he strained to not land us both on the hard tile. I screamed from the pure adrenaline of the situation and Ozias grunted in my ear as I felt his arms tighten around me. In one swift move he spun around and landed on his knees hitting the bean bag chair. He lifted me as high as he could so I would not touch the ground. I could hear him breathing hard and see sweat across his brow.

              “Are you kidding me!” I exclaimed. I felt his arms loosen and my body uncoiled. We were face to face, close enough I could feel his breath on my lips. If I moved even an inch we would be kissing.

              “Damn it!” hissed Ozias. “I just keep fucking up today!” He sat back on his heels and slowly placed me on the bean bag chair. When he was content I was safely down, he pressed his palms to the floor and pushed himself up. As scary as that was, I was in awe of his strength. I can’t believe we didn’t fall. I was in shock.

              “I can’t believe we didn’t fall. You’re…you…I mean…you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You’re like Superman, although right now you look more like Clark Kent, but they’re the same person, so Clark Kent is just as strong. How often do you work out? I’m just. Wow. I’m just so impressed.”

              The expression on his face made me realize I was rambling and I bit my lip to shut up. I felt my face flush and for the millionth time today I realized I had embarrassed myself in front of this stranger. I was feeling a rush of adrenaline but it was in a good way instead of the anxiety filled feelings I usually get. I liked this high. I need to find out how to feel this more often. I realized this is what moms who lift cars off their babies must feel. Even knowing my ankle was hurt, I felt like I could run a marathon, and I hate running! Ha! Ozias was staring at me and I realized I had said all of that out loud. Oh, God! This man is going to think I’m completely insane. Doc returned at exactly the right moment before I could make myself look anymore clinically insane. I heard him tap on the doorframe even though the door was still wide open.

              “Hello? I’m back with the cast and crutches. I…..” He stopped midsentence when he surveyed my co-op and the lack of furniture. I felt myself flush with embarrassment again.

“What the hell? Where’s all the furniture?”

              “It can’t be delivered until Tuesday. I didn’t know the elevators couldn’t be used for moving on the weekends.” I pointed down to my bean bag chair. “I just have this and a sleeping bag,” I explained. I could see Docs mind working and he looked just like Ozias in the moment even though the two men barely resembled to be father and son. I wondered if he was adopted or maybe he looks like his mother. I was brought back from my thoughts by Doc speaking to me.

              “Well, this won’t do. You can’t sleep on the floor with your injury.” He paused thinking again. “Could you go to a hotel for the night?”

              “No!” I said louder than I meant to. A hotel meant leaving the co-op and riding the elevator again and then riding one in the hotel. Plus, I was coming off my adrenaline rush and I was feeling exhausted. My stomach growled at that moment to remind me I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and that was just a blueberry muffin. I cleared my throat to speak again. “I’m fine here, really. With the cast and the crutches, I should be fine. I appreciate all you both have done for me, but if you don’t mind I’m feeling quite exhausted and I need to make something for dinner. Please just leave the cast and crutches near me and you can leave.”

              The men looked at each other then back at me. Ozias spoke first.

              “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I know we’re practically strangers but I can’t in good conscience leave you in this furniture-less co-op with a sprained ankle and bruised leg. You are hurt because of my stupidity. Please, let me help you. My dad can get the cast on your ankle and I can order some food for dinner. I haven’t eaten either so you’re not inconveniencing me. We can eat at my place. It’s right next door.” He looked at his dad for support.

              “I agree,” Doc said. “You can’t sleep on a floor tonight. You wouldn’t anyway. The pain would keep you up all night and elevation is important with this type of injury. You need to be in a bed with your ankle elevated, icing it in 15 minute increments a few times the rest of the day.” He kneeled down beside me and gave me a look asking for permission to touch my ankle to put the cast on me. I nodded but just barely. I felt like a child being chastised and I didn’t like it, but I really was too exhausted to fight anymore.

Doc slowly and quite expertly put my ankle in the black air cast and adjusted the Velcro straps where they put just the right amount of pressure on my ankle. He squeezed my toes a few times watching them. “It’s important to check for capillary refill when you’re wearing any type of casts. If it’s too tight you will lose blood flow to the area and that could lead to permanent damage and even loss of extremities. So I want you to make sure this isn’t too tight. You can take it off to bathe but other than that keep it on. Pinch your toes a few times and watch them turn from white to pink indicating the capillaries are receiving blood. If not adjust the tightness on the straps. No pressure on this ankle tonight either, although I’m sure if you tried to stand you’d quickly stop as much pain as you’ve seemed to be in.” I was trying to take everything he said in and memorize it. It was a little overwhelming so when I was silent he spoke again.

              “Ok? Understand? Any questions for me before I leave?”

              “Dad, give her a minute. That was a lot you threw at her. She’s had a lot to take in the last hour.”

              Hour? Had all of this madness only happened an hour ago? God, that’s not good. Would it be really sad if I went to bed at 6:30, because I swear I can’t take anymore today? I blinked and answered Doc.