The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1) (16 page)

“I’m sorry. Really. Believe it or not, I’m over my head too. I’ve got a lot I’m going through and being here is my chance to start over. I wasn’t planning on starting a relationship. I do care for Ozias very much. I’ve been hyper focused on getting my place like I want it. I didn’t know he was hurting. I promise to talk to him. Do you know if he’ll be around later?” I felt guilty now for not letting him help me earlier. I hurt him more than I thought.

“Actually, yes I do. My friend that lives here in the co-op is having a party on the roof top terrace tonight. I told him he had to come, at least a little while. My friend, Erica, grew up with us. It’s her birthday and she asked me to get Ozias to come. You’re welcome to come too. Erica won’t mind at all. It’ll be a great time--- a band, food, alcohol….need I say more?” Delcan was about to leave but he folded his hands together and pressed them to his lips like he was a devious dictator about to deliver his master plan. He looked at me and I could see Doc thirty years ago. It was unnerving how much they looked alike. He spoke breaking my focus, “Well, I’ll say one last thing. Erica has always had a crush on Ozias and, as usual, he’s oblivious, but I’m pretty sure she’s hoping for a birthday kiss. Just sayin’. Party starts at 8:00.” He left me standing in my living room with a dumbfounded expression on my face.

I never even considered other women being interested in Ozias, not because he’s not attractive because God knows the man is crazy, sexy, hot, but because he’s so unexperienced I just believed him when he said women never gave him a chance. Could it be he’s partly to blame for that by not picking up on the cues? The way he’s responded to me wanting to unpack alone, I believe that he wouldn’t give much thought to a woman who flirted with him unless she was aggressive. Jealousy coursed through me. It was time to lay claim to this man. Just the thought of another woman going after him prompted me to action.

No time for waxing, shaving will have to do. I glanced at the clock on my kitchen microwave. I’ve got four hours to work magic on my body, nails, hair, makeup, and outfit. Time to let Ozias McKinnon know I want him and he has to grow up and fight for me too. It’s on!

Chapter Twenty-Four

              One last look in the mirror satisfies me enough I’m ready to leave. I pucker my lips to apply a light gloss tinted red, just a hint. I stare at myself and barely recognize this woman. All that has happened in a week’s time has changed me. I would never believe that I’d be getting dressed for a party, on a roof top to attract a man I barely knew but felt I was in love with. And that’s the scary part,
I do feel love for Ozias.
How that’s possible in such a short time, I don’t know and if I’m honest with myself, it’s part of the distance I’ve kept this week. Yes, I’ve been busy getting my life organized but once I was in my own environment with my things, it was easier to hide and try to shield myself from him. Now, I have to go and win him before someone else does. The fact that just the thought of Erica makes me jealous, tells me I can’t hide from these feelings.

I stepped back and gave myself a once-over in the oval mirror in the corner of my bedroom. I decided on a dress tonight, a strapless candy apple red with a tight corset body that fans out slightly into a flowy skirt that hits right above my knees. The cotton fabric should keep me cool enough on this balmy night. Sweating is not a way to attract a man, so I chose this dress for that aspect but mainly because it highlights my curves perfectly. My ankle is better but still sore so I chose a pair of low heel strappy, silver sandals. I took the time to paint my toes a bright red to match my dress. I gave my hair more attention than I have in weeks, straightening it then adding a few flowing curls on the ends. I ran my hands through my hair to give it one last fluff. I kept my makeup light with a faint smoky eye shadow with a hint of glitter being the main feature. My earrings were long silver threads that had a small crystals at the ends. They shimmered when I moved me head. I nodded and thought I looked as good as I could with short notice. I grabbed my small black purse with a silver beaded strap that I use for occasion like this. Just big enough for my phone and lip gloss. I grabbed my ear buds and headed to the elevators, breathing slowing to prepare myself.

I chose a new song for the trip to the roof. Little Big Town’s
Girl Crush
came pouring through my ear buds and I thought the lyrics were spot on. I was jealous of a girl I’ve never even met. I laughed at myself over the absurdity when I see Declan walking towards me dressed in dark jeans and a light green button down shirt that made his blue eyes pop. He had bad boy written all over him. He whistled low when he stopped next to me.

“Damn, I have to say for the first time ever, I’m jealous of my big brother. You look amazing, Adira.”

“Thank you,” I said quickly feeling a little nervous.

“If you can’t turn Ozias’ head in that dress, there’s no hope for the man.” The elevator arrived and Delcan held his arm out to me. I hesitated but I needed help on the ride to the roof and even though he doesn’t know of my phobia, I don’t want to have an attack.  So I take his arm and once on the elevator I push my ear buds back in. Declan glanced at me with a questioning look. I don’t want to be rude so I give him a short explanation.

“Elevators make me a little nervous. My music helps.” I said staring straight ahead. He nodded but still looked skeptical.

The roof was decorated beautifully with miniature lanterns in various colors hung across the whole area suspended by thin lighted poles placed around the perimeter. A band was set up at the far end away from the pool. Circular tables were scattered around with black table cloths and a small floral arrangement with delicate pink roses in various hues carefully placed in round vases. Candles with LED lights with colors to match the lanterns completed the table décor. An aroma from the buffet of wonderful smelling food filled the air. A bar was situated between the buffet and the pool. Everything you need for a great party including stunning guest. I felt out of place all the sudden. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and fidgeted with the corset top of my dress. Delcan must have sensed my nervousness.

“You look beautiful. Don’t worry. Ozias is going to practically faint when he sees you.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about,” I can’t believe I’m confiding in Declan but he reminds me of my brother Jacob. He’s a cocky pain in the ass but I also know there’s isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me. “I’m out of my element here. At home, I feel I belong. I just feel out of place here, in the city, with all these supermodel women.”

“What? You mean these women who starve themselves so they can think they look like supermodels? Please. Women should be curvy and have something a man can hold on to.” He squeezed me to his side. I couldn’t tell if he was making fun of me so I just stared at my feet. He turned me to face him. “Adira, look at me.” His voice was commanding so I did. “I love to travel and everywhere but America, women are voluptuous and don’t desire to be starving thin. We McKinnon men don’t go for that anyway. When Ozias sees you he’s going to keep you close so no other man here can even get a glance at you.”

Ok, this guy has that certain charm that makes women swoon. I smiled and looked up. When I did, I saw Ozias across the balcony leaning against a high top table placed along the terrace wall. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue button down shirt, with the sleeve rolled up exposing his forearms. He looked hot and my lower belly clenched. A petite blonde in a pink halter dress was practically on top of him she was so close. The band started playing so talking was difficult. Ozias leaned his head towards her, I guess to hear what she was saying. She did a flirty hair flip and ran her hand down his chest. He was holding a beer bottle, which knowing he doesn’t drink much surprised me. He smiled at her and put his beer down. She took his hand and led him to the dance floor. I guess Declan had been speaking to me but I hadn’t heard a word of it. The jealousy flamed through me and was all consuming. I had never been this jealous over any man.

“Adira, what is it? Why do you look like you could kill someone right now?” Declan followed the path my eyes were taking and recognition lit his face. “Oh, well I see she moves fast. That’s Erica.”

My eyes snapped back to Declan. I just noticed I was gripping his arms, hard. I released him, but grabbed his hand, “Dance with me,” I ordered.

The band was playing covers and their lead singer was belting out
Uptown Funk
. I turned to Declan and started dancing. He stood still for a minute but then grabbed me and spun me around. I wasn’t expecting that. He spun me back into him and whispered in my ear, “Can you keep up with me?” I nodded. Declan didn’t know I loved to dance. I could keep up with whatever he threw at me. At my agreement he put his hand on my waist and slowly moved us around in a slow pelvic circle, then just as the tempo changed he spun me back out and released my hand. He was an amazing dancer. I matched his rhythm and danced around him. Near the end I ran my fingers over his shoulders as I moved in front of him and as he took my hands he lifted me in the air and circled around. I hadn’t noticed the crowd had moved to give us space. Dancing was always a stress reliever for me and for just a moment I forgot my jealousy and anxiety. The song ended as Declan put me on my feet and I heard applause erupt around us. The band went right into another upbeat song but I needed a drink. I glanced around and saw no sign of Ozias or Erica. And just like that the feelings that were fleeting a moment before came crashing back.

I needed something much stronger than water. Declan brought me back some sweet tasting mixed drink that was definitely mostly vodka. The burn as it slid down my throat felt good and prompted me to action. “Where is he?” I hadn’t realized I’d said that out loud until I heard Declan answer.

“Still on the dance floor,” He pointed his beer bottle towards a couple on the far side of the dance floor. Erica was looking up at Ozias and swinging her hips in seductive gestures. She couldn’t be more obvious in her intentions. Surprisingly, Ozias was a good dancer. I even thought to myself, they looked good together but that just pissed me off more. The song ended and they moved to a table and sat down, leaning into each other to talk. A server brought them more beer and Ozias was laughing as he sipped. I just stood there watching them feeling a little like a peeping Tom.

              How did he not know I was here? He had to have seen us on the dance floor.

“Did he see us dancing, Declan?” I asked, starting to hate how pathetic I was.

“I would think so. The whole dance floor moved back to give us room.” Declan stated.

“Why then? Does he not want me here? This was a mistake. I need to go.” I started towards the elevators but Declan stopped me.

“No, don’t go. If he wants to be an ass, let him.” Declan didn’t seem concerned with my plight.

“I don’t want to stay and watch him with her. I can’t.” I moved away from him before he could ask me to stay again. The greenhouse Ozias told me my aunt donated caught my eye. I decided that was a good place to escape to calm down. The greenhouse was lovely. Someone had strung lights across the ceiling and they cast a glow over the small area. There was a wooden bench in the corner with a small table. There was a book on the table. I picked it up. It was a journal. I hesitated opening it but my curiosity got the best of me. The front page read
This journal belongs to Claire Rose Stuart.
Oh my god. I sat on the bench but was afraid to read any further. It was small so I tucked it in my purse, it barely fit. Glancing around the greenhouse I knew why Claire loved it here. There were roses of many colors, azaleas not in bloom so I wondered what color they were. I couldn’t tell what some plants were. Seems no one had tended this since her death. I decided to leave and go home. I couldn’t watch Ozias with Erica. When I stood to leave I knocked a small planter over that was near my foot. I bent down to right it when I felt a shock on my upper arm. I knew it was Ozias before I even turned around.

“Adira,” his voice was rough and he was speaking through a clenched jaw.

I didn’t answer him. I turned and met those gorgeous hazel eyes. There was anger in them but I didn’t feel he had any right to be angry. I couldn’t be in this space with him. My emotions were too high. I moved past him and exited the greenhouse.

“Where are you going? Are you done flirting with my brother?”

What the….I saw red at that moment. “What the hell did you just say to me?” I was past jealousy now to full fledge anger.

“I don’t see you all week and you show up here in that amazing dress, looking like a Greek Goddess, and you’re with Declan, and dancing in his arms.” He was saying each word harder than he had to. I noticed then that his hands were balled in fists.

That’s it! “What? I asked you to dinner all week long but no, you were too busy working or whatever else you do.” I pushed on his chest with each word I said. “Don’t you dare say I’m flirting with your brother when he invited me here for you…..supposedly you have been miserable missing me. Oh, really? I don’t think so. Not looking at you and Erica. That women is throwing herself at you and you are putty in her hands.” I had pushed him so hard that he was walking backwards. We were close to the dance floor again. I started to push him again but he grabbed my hand to stop me.

“Stop.” He said firmly.

I was breathing hard. I was so angry at this man. “Don’t tell me to stop! I asked for one day, one day, Ozias. Just to get my home organized and to decompress after all the stress I’d had for four days. I never said to not come back.” I was near tears now, partly from anger and partly from sadness.

I heard the lead singer speaking, “Let’s slow it down a little with a classic that we’ve added a modern touch to.”  The band started to play. When I heard the first lyrics my eyes met Ozias and I shuddered.

“Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Elvis. This was one of my parents’ favorite songs. My breath caught. Ozias took me in his arms and pressed me against him. He took my face in his hands and looked deeply in my eyes. We were swaying to the music now and I was entranced by this surreal moment. I felt a warm breeze blow across us.

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you?”

Ozias’ lips brushed mine. I pulled him to me. We stayed like that dancing while the breeze blew around us. Time stood still as the song played. The party evaporated and it was just Ozias and me.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you. For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Ozias broke our kiss to sing the last line to me. “For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

The breeze stopped right as the song did. The tears fell. He wiped them away with his thumbs then kissed my cheeks. He pulled me in for a tight embrace. Oh my God, he smells so good, and feels even better. Why are people such fools in love? Why did I push him away? Why did he ignore me? It all seems so stupid now. 

I put my arms around his neck. “I love you, Ozias.” He smiled and kissed me.

We walked hand in hand to the balcony wall overlooking the river. Declan and Erica approached us. Erica was stunning. Her long blonde hair was almost white and shimmered in the lights. Long eyelashes accented beautiful round eyes. Her eyes were the deepest blue I’ve ever seen, almost purple. Flawless pale skin made her look almost doll-like. Declan had a smug grin on his face.

“Not now, Declan.” Ozias ordered.

“Bro, you can’t be mad at me. I got her here for you. You’ve been the biggest ass all week. I had to take measures in my own hands if you weren’t gonna man up and go knock on her door.” Declan looked proud of himself.