The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1) (8 page)

Chapter Twelve

              Ozias leaped to his feet and ran to his father. Fiercely, he pointed up at his face, “We need to talk right now.”

              “Ozias. Have you lost your mind? Don’t speak to me in that tone.”

              “I said,” Ozias raised his voice, “We need to talk right_fucking_now!”

              Doc’s face turned red and he raised his hands to Ozias shoulders. “Don’t you ever speak to me like that again. Carla, get Jo out of here. Obviously, my son needs to speak to me and he doesn’t care if he upsets his mother.”

              The room started to spin because on one side of me as Carla quickly got Ms. Jo up and on her way to her bedroom, almost dragging her. One the other side, Ozias pushed on his father’s chest with his palms. Doc stumbled but caught himself. He ran towards Ozias and before I knew it both men we headed straight towards me. I didn’t have time to get out of the way.

              “STOP!!! I screamed as loud as my hoarse voice would carry. “Just stop!!!”

              Ozias turned his head to see me and realized they were about to crash into me. He grabbed Doc by the upper arms and jerked him around spinning him into the kitchen. Doc steadied himself and stood there with hatred in his eyes, his chest heaving.

              “Are you ok? I’m so sorry. Come, I’ll take you home.” He started to take my arm but I jerked away. Hurt clouded his eyes.

              “So, has he stupidly hurt you again? You know, he was always getting into trouble by trying crazy experiments when he was in school and blowing up parts of the school lab, or wasting money on failed business ideas, but this is a first…him hurting a women, now for the second time in two days. You’re the most contact he’s ever had with a woman.”

              Ozias’ eyes flashed with hatred. I thought of the saying,
If looks could kill,
and if they could Doc wouldn’t be alive right now. This family was crazy and not the fun, good kind, but the certifiable kind. No wonder Aunt Claire fit right in.

              “You apologize to her right now. This isn’t about her, it’s about you and me. Leave her out of it.”

              “Isn’t it about me, though?” I could fight my own battles when it came to things like this. “At least according to your mother it is.”

              “What is she talking about? What does your mother have to do with any of this?” Doc spoke only to Ozias.

              Ozias tried to calm down before he spoke. He ran his hands through his hair. “We came to visit mom and she told us that Claire had been visiting her very often months before she died and they talked about many things, most of those things involved Adira and me. Are you telling me you don’t know anything about that? Because if you are, I don’t believe you.”

              “I knew Claire visited but I thought it was just a few times a month, like she always did. I know absolutely nothing about any extra visits or them talking about you and Ms. McLeod.”

              “I don’t believe you,” hissed Ozias.

              “What did she say that has you so angry?”

              Ozias looked at me. I decided to speak for myself. “Supposedly my Aunt Claire attempted to plan out Ozias and my love life. She told Ms. Jo that she only willed her unit to me so that Ozias and I would meet and fall in love and live happily ever after, or some crazy shit like that.”

              “There’s no way Claire would confide in Jo like that and not tell me.” Doc was incredulous. “You know for yourself that I didn’t know who you were yesterday. I wouldn’t have asked you if you knew Claire, I would have known that.”

              “You’re good a lying, dad. How do we know that you were telling the truth? Adira, is very angry. She feels she’s been tricked and fooled by her aunt and I want to know once and for all if you knew anything, anything at all about it.”

              “Liar? Who are you? Why do you think you can speak to me like this? I don’t know anything about Claire willing anything to anyone. Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are and even more hurt.” Doc was calmer now and genuinely looked sad.

              “More hurt? More hurt than me, her niece, her flesh and blood? You have NO idea what I’ve been through. No one is more hurt by her betrayal, her lies, than I. She knew how fragile I was, I am. What was she thinking bringing me here and trying to force some guy on me. I don’t believe you. Who do you think you are? Why would you even think you could be more hurt than I am?” I stared at Doc with intensity.

              “Because he was fucking her.” Ozias stared unflinching at his dad.

              “You…..” Doc hurled towards Ozias again but he anticipated it this time and grabbed his father by the arm and pushed him down.

              “We’re leaving. This is over for now. Leave mom alone and don’t pester her for answers. She actually thought Claire was her friend coming to visit her. Don’t take that from her at this point in her life.” Doc stumbled to his feet but said nothing.

Chapter Thirteen

              I collapsed on Ozias’ couch. I didn’t have the energy to make it much father. Another day of exhausting events and it was only 5:00 pm. Ozias was in the kitchen fixing us both a glass of red wine. He didn’t even ask if I wanted one. I guess he knew we both needed something to take the edge off. A knock at the door startled both of us. God, what now?

              Ozias opened the door and I heard Carla’s voice. “Ozias, I know this may not be the best time but could I please come in?”

              “If it’s about mom or your hours can you just talk to dad? You’re right this isn’t the best time.”

              “No, no it’s nothing about that. I, I don’t even know if you want to talk anymore about this tonight, but I just can’t go home with this on my conscience. Please, I think you and Ms. Adira will want to hear what I have to say.”

              That caught my attention and I realized that she had to be at the house every time Aunt Claire and Ms. Jo talked. She was like a fly on the wall. She probably wasn’t ease dropping on purpose but in a job like hers it would be impossible not her hear private conversations.

              “I’d like to hear what she has to say.” I turned to look at them both. Ozias’ slumped his shoulders, opened the door all the way, and thrust his arm out gesturing for Carla to come inside.

              “Please, come in. Can I get you anything? We are about to have a glass of wine.” Ozias offered.

              “No, I just want to say what I have to and leave you to your evening, hopefully with more understanding and peace.” Carla sat in the leather chair next to the corner of the couch I was sitting on.

              Ozias came to sit by me and handed me my glass of wine. I swirled it in my glass then took a sip. The tart liquid slid down my throat. It was just what I needed at this moment and that realization bothered me.

              “Carla, it’s been a long day, if you don’t mind, just tell us what you need to.” Ozias was more curt than usual.

              Carla began, “Well, first of all, your mama was telling the truth. The last few months of Ms. Claire’s life she did come visit and talk to her, almost every day.” She was fiddling with her hands nervously and that made what she had to say even more worrisome to me.

              She continued, “At first I thought it was odd her coming to see Ms. Jo alone, you know without your dad being home.” She looked at Ozias and he nodded. “Cause she never used to come unless Doc was there.” She cleared her throat like a secret was stuck trying to be released. I looked toward Ozias and he was staring in his wine glass. His screaming accusation to his father that he and Aunt Claire were lovers, wasn’t exactly a shock to me. I could tell when Doc talked about her there was something in his eyes, a longing and immense sadness at her loss, more than just a friendship would account for. Hearing Ozias scream the truth at his father in a crude manner was shocking though. I could tell this story would take hours if we all didn’t stop skirting around the truth.

              I decided to speak my mind, “Ms. Carla, please don’t take this the wrong way, but, we’re all adults here and I have had the most emotional, crazy, anger filled days since I officially moved here two days ago.” God, how did two days feel like weeks? “Could we all just put it out there, what we all are trying not to say and get on with what you need to tell us that we don’t know?” I cleared my throat. “Doc and my aunt were having an affair. I’m pretty sure I knew this from the first time Doc spoke about Aunt Claire because a man just has a certain look in his eyes when he’s talking about his lover, and I picked up on that cue almost right away.”

              “Oh.” Carla seemed to be surprised by my speech.

              Ozias sighed and set his wine glass down and turned to face me. He laid his hand on my leg and I felt that shock again and it was strangely comforting. “I didn’t want you to find out like this. I knew it was going to eventually reveal itself but I was hoping it wouldn’t be so soon. You’ve had enough to cope with.” He looked sincere and I believed him.

              “I’m not as breakable as you think, Ozias. Yes, I have my triggers and yes, I have been through a lot, and not just these past two days, but I’m a grown woman. I can handle knowing my aunt had an affair. What I’m having a hard time accepting is that she, after barely seeing me for the last six years, decided to spend the last months of her life plotting a course for mine. I don’t like it, at all. And I don’t like that she brought your mother into her crazy scheme. Aunt Claire was eccentric, but she wasn’t cruel. She’s known your mother for the last what, nine years?” Ozias nodded. “Obviously, she knew of your mom’s limited mental capabilities. Why would she be so cruel to tell her the things she did?”

              Clara interrupted, “Well, I can tell you the answer to that.” Ozias and I stared at her with a look of confusion. “It’s not easy being a caregiver to people who are terminally ill, especially ones like your mom, Ozias, whose condition can last for years, slowly robbing their independence and eventually their minds.” She looked directly at me. “I’ve been caring for Ms. Jo and the family for many years, before we even knew about the Parkinson. You, know, Ozias that I cared for Mr. McKinnon, his grandfather,” Carla looked at me while explaining, “and when he died, I started helping Ms. Jo. She was always so tired. It was part time at first just helping her with housekeeping—anything to lessen her stress---, then more once we knew about the Parkinson’s. Then about a year ago, I started on full time, when her dementia was diagnosed.” She sat back in the chair and addressed us both now. “Ms. Claire would stay gone for long periods of time back then and stay to herself a lot when she came home. I accidently saw Doc leaving her apartment one night after my shift and he approached me the next day. He told me I wasn’t to tell anyone what I saw and that there is no need to upset Ms. Jo. I agreed but I still didn’t like it. My patients become like family to me and I will be honest, I was angry with Doc for quite a while. Until Ms. Claire started to visit, then my feelings changed.”

              Ozias got up and fetched a glass of water and brought it to her. It was uncanny to me how he just knew what people needed. Carla smiled and thanked him.

              “Ms. Claire would come and visit and ask to sit in the library with Ms. Jo. Before her dementia, Ms. Jo loved to read so Ms. Claire would read to her, all her favorites, and your mom just was so happy Ozias, so I started to be ok with the visits. They started to become more frequent and before I knew it Ms. Jo just expected her to come and it was the highlight of her day. Doc has been spending more time away from home since she has needed full time care. It used to make me angry with him, but now I think he just can’t handle it, seeing her the way she is now.”

              “I have often thought the same,” Ozias said. “He’s like most doctors, he can disconnect emotionally when it’s his patients, but when it’s someone he loves, he can’t handle it. Still bothers me that he seems to abandon her when she needs him the most.”

              Carla nodded in agreement. “I never ease drop on my patients when they have visitors but one day when it was time for Ms. Jo’s medication, I heard Ms. Claire say something startling when I was outside the library door. “She told Ms. Jo that she needed to tell her some secrets and she needed her to not tell anyone, especially Doc. Ms. Jo was having a good day and I could tell she understood. She told Ms. Claire she would keep her secrets. I know it’s wrong but part of the reason I continued to listen at each visit was I was concerned for Ms. Jo. I wasn’t sure she could remember to keep secrets and it seemed cruel of your aunt to ask this of her. But I soon realized that even though Ms. Jo didn’t really completely
keep
these secrets, the visits themselves were a good thing. If you think about it, Ozias, your mom has been mentioning for months about a woman coming to see you and she’d say things to Doc but he would just blow her off or ignore her thinking she was having an episode.”

              I looked at Ozias. “Yes, I know she’s been telling me a woman was coming, but how could I have known she was telling the truth. She’s been trying to get me to date and get married all my adult life. Before her dementia, she used to tell me it was one of her biggest worries that I’d always be alone.” He looked grieved as he said these things to us.

Carla took a quick sip of water. “Yes, well. I wish I had said something to you sooner but I didn’t know it would come to this.” Carla paused then continued where she had left off, “I soon realized Ms. Jo was more coherent after her visits and she was less depressed, she wanted to get dressed and do her hair every day knowing Ms. Claire was coming. She seemed excited to be confided in that way. All of Ms. Jo’s friends slowly stopped coming to visit through the years. People can’t handle seeing their friends die. I’ve seen this many times. I’ve also seen people feel the need to confess secrets, as if to bear their souls, to exonerate themselves from a lifetime of guilt, especially when their loved ones are going downhill fast. It may be wrong but this isn’t the first time I’ve witnessed someone telling deep secrets and feelings to a person they knew wasn’t able to share.”

              “So Aunt Claire decided to ease her guilt of having an affair with Doc to Ms. Jo? That’s despicable.” I said with a scowl.

              “Well, yes and no. She did tell her about Doc but that was only a few days before she died. What she mainly talked about was you, you and Ozias.” Ozias grabbed my free hand and I drained my wine. “She loved you, Adira. It was clear. She told Ms. Jo about your parents’ death and she cried so hard at the loss of her sister, her twin. She said she felt like a part of her died that day.”

              The tears streamed down my face. I never use the word
death
concerning my parents. I just say they never returned. Hearing Carla say that was bringing all my pain to the surface. Ozias moved his arm around my shoulders and was making small circles on my shoulder. Amazingly, it was helping a little.

              Carla continued, “And you know she loved you like family, Ozias. I don’t know when the idea came to her, but she got it in her mind that the two of you were just made for each other. She told Ms. Jo that her dying wish was for you to find love and happiness, Adira. Ms. Claire even told her that she changed her will and had willed the co-op to you. Originally, she had left instructions in her will to sell it on her behalf and donate the proceeds to a charity for the victims of the tsunami, but she said one day after talking to Ozias, she knew she had to get Adira here to meet him, that the two of you would never make a connection on your own.” My tears were coming in waves now, but Carla continued as if she had to get this all out in one breath. I guess being the only person besides Ms. Jo to know these things has been a burden. “Claire, mentioned that she wanted the money she had been investing for decades to go to you, Adira, so it would no longer have a bad memory attached to it, but maybe it could change your life.She said she had left her mother as the executor of her estate and she was helping to make arrangements that she hoped would convince you to move here and stay.”

              “What?” I exclaimed. “My grandmother knows about this?” I couldn’t say anymore. My emotions were flocculating between sadness and anger.

Carla just nodded. “She told Ms. Jo a few days before she passed that it wouldn’t be long before the woman of Ozias’ dreams would be here. Ms. Claire died on a Friday, the last time she came to visit was the Wednesday before and that was also the day she confessed to her about Doc. She said she had loved him for years even though it was no excuse for her actions. I guess she knew her time was close.” Carla wiped a tear from her eyes. “She wanted to replace all your anxiety and pain with happiness and love, Adira, and she was sure that Ozias was the answer to all that.” At our shocked expressions, Carla raised her hands and waved them slightly, “I know, I know, it sounds crazy.”

              I just latched on to something she said, “Carla, what do you mean, it was her
dying
wish? Aunt Claire died of an aneurism. It was sudden. She would have had no way of knowing her death was near.”

              Carla looked at her lap, “No, Adira, she didn’t. Your aunt had a brain tumor and it was inoperable. She knew she was dying and she knew her time was short.”

              I gasped. “Ozias, did you know?” I asked with pain in my voice. He shook his head no.