The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (77 page)

You have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. GALATIANS 5:13

YESTERDAY WE TALKED about the emotional need for love. Another of our deepest emotional needs is the need for freedom. In a marriage, we want to be free to express our feelings, thoughts, and desires. We want the freedom to make choices. We often do things for each other, but we don't want to be manipulated or forced into it. If we feel like we are being controlled, we get defensive and angry.

Freedom is never to be absolute. Freedom without boundaries is not a life of love. In Galatians 5, the apostle Paul underscored that believers are free in Christ. Free from the law, free from sin, free to be the people God created us to be. Yet he encourages us to use that freedom to serve each other in love. We don't do it out of guilt or manipulation, but by choice. Love chooses to look out for the beloved's best interests.

When we realize that everyone has this need for freedom, we will allow our spouse freedom to make choices. We will make requests but not demands. We will express our opinions, but also extend the freedom to disagree. Love and freedom are two key elements in a healthy marriage.

Lord, thank you for setting us free! Help me to use my freedom in a loving way. Guard me also from limiting my spouse's freedom. Help us to love and serve each other without reservation.

The LORD has declared today that you are his people, his own special treasure, just as he promised. DEUTERONOMY 26:18

IS YOUR SPOUSE a workaholic? If so, you need to understand that the desire for significance is one of the primary emotional needs that push some people. Many workaholics do not realize that our real significance comes from being children of God and living out his plans for us. After all, Deuteronomy 26 talks about God's children as his own "special treasure." Our heavenly Father loves us not because of anything we are or do, but because he created us. We can't do anything to increase or decrease our value in his sight.

Workaholics tend to forget this. As a result, they put all their effort into excelling in the marketplace and often neglect even their closest relationships. Perhaps a man's father said, "You will never amount to anything"-so he spends a lifetime trying to prove his father wrong. It's a bitter, never-ending cycle.

If you are married to a workaholic, don't curse your spouse's work. Instead, offer praise, admiration, and encouragement. Say how proud you are. The more praise you give, and the more you value your spouse for who he is rather than for what he does, the more likely your workaholic partner will be to spend more time away from work and with you.

Father, thank you for loving us and valuing us unconditionally. Help me to remember that my ultimate significance comes only from you, not from anything/ can accomplish. Please help me to communicate that to my spouse as well.

The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. PSALM 103:13

WE'VE HEARD A GREAT DEAL of talk about quality time in recent years. With busy schedules, more and more two-income families, and so many single parents, we are all pressured for time. But while adults are talking about quality time, children are starving for it. Indeed, if you have children, you may observe that much of their misbehavior is a cry for quality time. To the child, even negative attention seems better than no attention.

We're fortunate that we never have to revert to negative behavior to get attention from God. Psalm 103 compares him to the best kind of father, full of tenderness and compassion for his children. When we speak, he hears. When we call, he is there. That's a great example of giving quality time.

Quality time means giving a child your undivided attention. We have to do this when they are infants, but as they get older we often let other responsibilities pull us away from them. I challenge you to make time to look your children in the eyes, to listen as they talk, to ask questions, and to communicate to them, "You are important to me." It's time well invested. A closer relationship with your children will benefit your marriage as well.

Father God, thank you for always being available for me. Help me to fill that need for my children as well. Please give me the patience and wisdom to stop what I'm doing and give my child my undivided attention. Help me to communicate how much my children mean to me-and to you, too.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds.... Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

DEUTERONOMY 11:18-19 (NIV)

ALL CHILDREN LOVE STORIES. When they are small, we read to them, and the story often leads to exciting conversations. Stories stimulate emotions. Asking children, "How does that make you feel?" is a way of helping them learn to express emotions. Children also like to hear about your childhood. Parents and grandparents give the child a sense of belonging and family history when they share such stories.

If you have children, remember that reading and telling stories is one way to give a child quality time. For those brief moments, the child has your undivided attention. If this is the child's primary love language, then nothing is more important in making him or her feel loved. When you meet a child's need for love, you are laying the foundation for a bright future.

The Bible is also clear that telling stories of the faith is an important way to teach our children about God. Whether we're retelling events from the Bible or sharing about how God worked in our lives today, we can set a strong foundation of faith-even as we spend important minutes with our kids. Your whole family will benefit.

Lord God, there is so much 1 want to communicate to my children. Help me to take the time to talk, to connect, to tell stories, and especially to teach about you. Please help my spouse and me to be good partners in parenting as well.