The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (66 page)

[Eve] took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. GENESIS 3:6-7

WHAT IS THE BIBLICAL PICTURE of intimacy in marriage? It's found in Genesis 2:25: "The man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame." This is a vivid image of marital intimacy: two distinct persons, equal in value, totally transparent, and without fear of being known. It is that kind of openness, acceptance, trust, and excitement to which we refer when we use the word intimacy.

But this was before sin entered the picture. It's interesting that Adam and Eve's immediate response to eating the forbidden fruit was to feel shame at their nakedness and cover themselves. In other words, after sin there were clothes. Something came between Adam and Eve, and they were no longer transparent. They were no longer willing to be freely known; now they had to work at intimacy.

The same is true for us. Because we are fallen creatures, we sometimes fear being known. Why? Because with intimacy comes the possibility of condemnation and rejection. To overcome that fear, we must develop a relationship of trust with our spouse.

Father God, our struggles with intimacy go all the way back to Adam and Eve and the first sin. I confess to you my fear of being fully known to another person, even my spouse. Please help us as a couple to work to overcome these fears and become as one.

Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" `No, not seven times,"Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!" MATTHEW 18:21-22

IS THERE ANYTHING in contemporary experience that parallels the excitement of Adam and Eve before the Fall? I believe there is. It is the experience we commonly call "falling in love." It is an emotional experience fully as spontaneous as that moment when Adam first saw Eve. The experience of falling in love has the same elements as that initial meeting:

nv feeling amazement

nv feeling that we belong to each other

nv knowing that we were meant for each other

nv feeling something within each of us that cries out for something deep within the other

nv sensing that God arranged our meeting

nv experiencing a willingness to be open with each other, to share our deepest secrets, and to know in our hearts that we will love each other no matter what

nv being willing to give ourselves totally to each other

What happens to all of those emotions after marriage? The same thing that happened to Adam and Eve. We sin, and sin separates us. We come to distrust each other, and as a result, we keep our distance to protect ourselves. What's the answer? Confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

Confession means I admit that what I did or said was wrong. Repentance means I am willing to turn away from that sin and walk in a new direction. And forgiveness means I am willing to accept your confession and repentance and let you back into my life.

Jesus told Peter we must be willing to forgive a repentant person over and over again-because that's the way God forgives us! It's not always easy, but you can have an intimate marriage if you are willing to deal with your failures.

Father, l thank you for your remarkable forgiveness. Thank you for forgiving me when 1 am repentant, even when I do the same thing over and over. Please give me this same attitude toward my spouse. l prayfora growing atmosphere of intimacy in our marriage as we learn to confess, repent, and forgive each other.

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. 3 JOHN 1:4

FOR THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE, the greatest joy is to see our children walking in truth. This sentiment is echoed by the apostle John in his last epistle. He considered the believers his "children" since he had been a father figure to them as their faith grew, and their faithfulness to Christ brought him much joy. Conversely, the greatest sorrow is seeing our children turn away from God.

The greatest influence we have on our children's religious beliefs happens in the first eighteen years of their lives. Children listen to what we say, and they observe our actions. The closer our practice is to our preaching, the more our children respect our faith. However, the greater the distance between what we proclaim and what we practice, the less likely they are to follow our religious beliefs.

What if our children are already grown, and we failed to do this when they were young? It is never too late to say, "I realize that when you were growing up, my lifestyle did not demonstrate very well what I claimed to believe. I wish I could go back and live parts of my life again. Of course, that's impossible, but I want you to know that I regret the way I failed you." This, coupled with a changed life, opens the door for further influence on your adult child. None of us are perfect. Dealing with past failures is the first step to renewed relationships.

Heavenly Father, you know how deeply) yearn to see my children walking in faithfulness to you. I ask your forgiveness for the times when 1 was not a good role model. Please help my spouse and me to be honest about our failures, and may they not stand in the way of our children's belief.

We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. COLOSSIANS 1:9

PRAYING FOR YOUR SPOUSE may be your greatest ministry. What could be more important? Through word and example, the Bible shows us that prayer is powerful. James 5:16 says, "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." Think of all the amazing examples of intercession in the Bible. Abraham pleaded with God to spare Sodom. Moses interceded for Israel after they had built the golden calf. Daniel fasted and prayed in great humility, confessing his sins and the sins of Israel. Paul prayed that the Christians at Colosse would be filled with the knowledge of God's will. Jesus prayed that Peter's faith would not fail after he denied Christ.

How are you praying for your spouse? Perhaps you could use Colossians 1:9-14 as a place to begin. As you pray for your spouse what Paul prayed for these believers-that their faith would be strengthened and that God would equip them with endurance and patience-you will be ministering to him or her. You may also find your heart growing more tender toward your spouse.

Intercessory prayer is a service to the person you are praying for. Prayer is one of God's ordained means of accomplishing his will on earth. As he allows us to preach and teach, so he allows us to pray-and so we cooperate with him in his work. Pray for your spouse today, and watch how it affects your marriage.

Lord God, thank you for the privilege of bringing requests to you. Thank you, too, for the example of Paul's prayer, which goes beyond the logistical details of our lives to the things that really matter-my spouse's relationship with you. Help me to be faithful as 1 pray for my mate.