The Making of Matt (23 page)

“Pink?” I said, twirling a lock of his pink wig around my finger.

“It’s new. Compliments the new décor don’t you think?”

“You look fabulous as ever. Can I get you a drink?”

“Just a water please, sugar. Loosen up the chords. I’m on stage in ten.”

Turning around, I plucked a bottle of spring water from the cooler.

“It’s great to see you like this,” Alan said, studying my face as he took the bottle from my hand.

“Like what?” I asked, curiosity drawing my eyebrows together.

“Happy.”

“I am,” I said, looking back over to Matt. “I really am.”

“And you’re coping okay with the media circus you’ve found yourself in?”

“Not really.” I shrugged. “But if it’s what I have to put up with to be with him then I will.”

“I don’t see the appeal. He needs a haircut,” he teased. “I have to go get ready, but well done on tonight. The place looks fabulous.”

“Thanks,” I said, leaning across the bar and giving him a one-armed hug.

“Oh and before I go, Ryan’s here. He’s looking for you.”

Shit
. I didn’t know why it made me so nervous. Sure, we used to sleep together but we were friends. We weren’t committed or exclusive. A part of me felt anxious about Matt’s reaction if he saw us together but I dismissed it. He’d never given me any reason to accuse him of being the jealous type. I was overthinking things, so I pushed Ryan to the back of my mind while I checked stock levels behind the bar.

Matt asked me to mingle with him several times but that wasn’t why I was here. He hired me to manage the club and that’s what I felt most comfortable doing. Inflating celebrities’ egos and fake smiling for the cameras wasn’t who I was. I accepted that was part of Matt’s life but I didn’t particularly want it as part of mine.

Crouched down, I was replenishing mixers when I looked up and almost crapped myself as I came face to face with Ryan peering over the counter.

“Hey, sexy. Long time no see,” he said, winking.

“Hey.” I rose to my feet. “How, um, how’ve you been?”

“Stop looking so nervous, Alex. I’m not gonna pounce on you, I know you’re with somebody. Hell, the whole world knows.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, scoffing. “Crazy right?”

“It was a shock for sure. I mean I knew you guys were friends but I had
no
idea Matt Carter was into dudes. If I did I’d have taken a shot that time you took me to his place.”

“It was news to me, too. Hell, it was news to
him
.”

“That doesn’t bother you? I’d be worried all the time if it was me.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah. The guy’s a pussy magnet. What if, I don’t know, he starts to miss it?”

I shrugged, a lump forming in my throat. “I trust him.” I said it because it was true, absolutely, but I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t nibble its way to the front of my mind sometimes. When it did, however, one feel of his lips on mine would obliterate any doubt beyond recognition.

“Well it’s good to see you so happy anyways. Can’t say I don’t miss being able to randomly dial you at three AM when I’m horny as fuck though.”

“Hi.” I hadn’t noticed Matt approaching until I heard his voice. “I’m Matt,” he introduced himself to Ryan, draping a possessive arm around my neck like he was claiming me. Part of me expected him to piss up my leg. “And you are?”

You know damn well who he is.
“This is Ryan. Ryan, Matt,” I interrupted, waving a hand between them.

Ryan offered Matt a cocky smile, clearly amused at the sight of Matt going all alpha male on his ass. “Place looks great. Congratulations to you both.”

“Thanks. What would you like to drink?” Matt asked, his voice clipped and to the point.

“I’m just leaving actually,” Ryan said. “Just wanted to say goodbye to Alex.”

“Great seeing you,” I said, only half lying as I reached out to pat his back. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as I’d expected. Proof that it was all in my head.

“He’s a douche,” Matt sneered as soon as Ryan was out of earshot.

I turned to him and smiled. “Aw, you jealous?” I found it strangely adorable.

“Yes,” he answered immediately. “But he’s still a douche. I could see it in his eyes.”

“He’s a good guy,” I said, regretting it when Matt’s lips twisted into a pout. “But I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with
you
.”

His mouth relaxed into a firm line. “Good. Because he’s a douche.”

I forced a nonchalant expression but inside I smiled. Matt Carter loved me enough to be jealous and that felt pretty damn amazing.

“How the hell did
he
get back in?” I followed Matt’s gaze to the other end of the bar and saw a man stumbling through the crowd, knocking into people’s drinks, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. “The dude’s dropped more pills than a fingerless pharmacist. Radio one of the bouncers will you? I won’t have that shit in here.”

“No problem.”

“I gotta go do an interview with some chick from a magazine. No more talking to douchebags while I’m gone.”

Snickering, I saluted him. “Scouts’ honor.”

The evening played out perfectly after the guy high on more than alcohol was escorted, or rather
thrown
, out of the building. I was insanely proud of what Matt had achieved. I had a couple of star-struck moments, where I stood vacant with my tongue licking the floor, when approached by a few celebrities I’d been watching on TV since I was a teenager, but apart from that, the night was a monumental success.

Around one AM I noticed Matt talking to a girl. The only reason I took a second glance was because he had his hand locked around the top of her arm. Something about his expression bothered me as he ran his free hand over his flustered face, though I couldn’t pinpoint what. I stared as he ushered her through the dwindling crowd toward the office. I went to follow but immediately scolded myself.
You’re being ridiculous.

Fucking Ryan
, I thought, blaming him for planting seeds of doubt in my head. He may have sowed them, but I didn’t have to let them grow. An internal battle ensued when Matt and the brunette hadn’t reappeared after several minutes. My feet started carrying me to the office against my will and I hated myself for it. I trusted Matt.
Don’t I?
He loved me. I
knew
he did. Nobody could fake the moments we’d shared together.

When I reached the door I didn’t have the courage to open it. I heard muffled words coming from inside but couldn’t decipher them. I sighed with relief at the knowledge he wasn’t screwing her, and then wanted to punch myself in the face for doubting him.

I jumped back a few steps when the door began to open.

“But whe-” the girl began but Matt cut her off.

“Just
leave
. I’ll call you.”

My heart slithered into the pit of my stomach. When she left I could see her eyes were red and swollen even under the flashing lights. I strolled into the room, my legs feeling like they could give way at any moment, determined to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Who was that?” I asked, my voice casual despite the fact I was dying inside.

“Oh, um…just a fan wanting an autograph,” he lied. He actually fucking
lied
to me and with such a straight face too.

“You couldn’t do that out on the floor?”

“Didn’t have a pen on me.”

He sauntered over to me, his expression poised but his eyes troubled. I watched his hands as they rubbed up and down my arms and for the first time, his touch felt like parasites crawling over my skin.

“I don’t feel too good,” I said, my legs itching to run away. “Can you manage if I head home?”

“Of course,” he agreed, concern wrinkling his forehead. “Are you okay?”

“Headache,” I lied. If he could do it then so could I. “Too many late nights I think.”

“Well sure. Things will be wrapping up here soon. I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Okay.” I forced a smile, hoping it looked convincing.

I didn’t tell him by
home
I meant my apartment. I needed to be alone to process what I’d just witnessed and decide if I had justification for doubting him, or if Ryan’s words were messing with my head.

**********

I slept restlessly, but I still felt better when I woke up for the day. I had no doubt Matt had, at some point, slept with the woman from last night, certain the only women in his life he
hadn’t
screwed were Elle and his cousin, Ashley. Remembering how nervous I felt about seeing Ryan again, I decided Matt had probably experienced the same thing. Perhaps she came onto him and he feared my reaction, I decided. Maybe he thought the only way to prove himself to me was to try and hide his past.

Yawning as I made my way to the small kitchen, I checked my cell, noticing several missed calls and texts from Matt. My stomach growled but I didn’t have any food because I spent most of my time at Matt’s place, so I turned back, dialing Matt’s number when I reached the couch.

“Hey,” Matt answered, his voice husky and laced with concern. “I thought you’d be here when I got home. What’s wrong?”

“My place was closer and I needed to lie down,” I said, lying only about the reason. “I feel much better today.”

“Are you up for visiting Ashley with me? I’ve finally been granted permission by Adam Almighty to see the baby.”

Ashley delivered a baby boy two weeks ago but she and Adam decided they didn’t want visitors until they’d had time to bond with their new son. Unsurprisingly, Matt was pissed and spent an entire day ranting to me about Adam and his assholery.

“Sure. What time?”

“I’ll pick you up in an hour. We can’t be late or Asshat Adam might rescind our appointment.”

“Play nice, Matt,” I said, smiling. “At least while you’re there.”

“I’ll be the perfect angel. Can’t promise I won’t wanna punch something when we leave though.”

“I’ll bring a pillow. Maybe even draw Adam’s face on it for you.”

Matt laughed. “Okay, go get ready. Oh and Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

With those three, small words, all my insecurities burned to ashes. “I love you, too.”

I showered quickly after hanging up the phone before brushing my teeth and changing into a pair of jeans and white vest. Food was out, so I poured myself a black coffee, wincing at the bitter taste coating my tongue. I made a mental note to buy some powdered creamer and then headed downstairs to wait for Matt outside.

He arrived a little early, pulling up outside my building and holding a McDonald’s bag up to the window. My angry stomach flipped in excitement and I climbed eagerly into the passenger seat.

“Wasn’t sure if you’d eaten,” Matt said, handing me the bag.

I snatched it from his fingers. “I’m starving. I could kiss you right now, but my mouth needs what’s in this bag more than your lips.”

“I missed breakfast by like ten minutes. Hope that’s okay.”

I stuffed almost half the cheeseburger in my mouth in one bite. “Perfect,” I muttered around a mouth full of food.

Matt caught a glimpse of me as I popped the lid off of my vanilla milkshake and dipped a fry inside before tossing it in my mouth and his face twisted into an unreadable expression. “In the words of Ryder, dude, that is
minging
,” Matt said, trying his hand at a British accent. In reality he sounded like some kind of Irish and Japanese hybrid. Too hungry to reply, I smiled instead, stuffing more food into my mouth.

We drove in silence for a few minutes while I devoured my first meal since yesterday lunchtime. I was taking a sip of my milkshake when Matt’s hand settled on my knee, the warmth of his touch penetrating the denim.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You looked more than just sick last night. You looked…upset.”

“I was exhausted. I’m fine, really.”

“Good. I thought maybe…doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Talk to me,” I insisted, shifting in my seat to face him.

Keeping his eyes on the road, Matt sighed. “I thought maybe seeing Ryan made you, I dunno, miss him.”

“We’re so damn stupid,” I said, choking on the irony. “I felt the same about that woman you took to your office. If we’d just communicated better, we could’ve prevented a night of unnecessary angst for both of us.”

“I told you, she was just a fan.” The way he spoke made the words twist around my heart, strangling it. In an instant, his lie pierced my skin like a shot, flowing through my veins and making me want to vomit. I didn’t have proof he was lying, but I just…
knew
.

“I don’t believe you,” I spat, pushing his hand off my lap.

Matt swerved, maneuvering the car onto a small street. He pulled over and twisted to face me. “What’s this about? Do you think I was fucking her in there or something?”