The Lost Blogs (31 page)

Freedom from X-Rays

Big X, Little X

Is Lamb good for you?

X-men comic #1

Who is Racer X?

How to treat mosque bites?

If you have found your way here through any of the above search strings or any others that do not involve
Malcolm X
.
Muslim Mosque. Inc
. or
The Organization of Afro-American Unity
you
are in the wrong place
.

From:
http://www.john_wayne.com/blog/

Subject:
What’s in a Name?

Marion isn’t a girl’s name.

You may or may not know that Marion is the name I was born with. Marion became “Duke,” which became “John Wayne.” But Marion
is still the name on my birth certificate and on a bunch of my official documents, and personally I don’t think that the name
“Marion” sounds female at all.

Now, if you’re talkin’ about Marian with an “an,” that is definitely a girly-sounding name. Or Marione with an “one” at the
end—yes, I can see where a person with that should probably be wearing an apron and cooking dinner for her husband. And even
Maryione or MaryAnne or Marionne. Girly, girly, girly.

But Marion is totally a macho guy’s name. It is. I mean, look at it. I’ve written it out hundreds and hundreds of times on
a piece of paper, just to practice it… you know? And it looks like a man’s man kind of name. It’s the kind of name that fits
a cowboy or a soldier or a hero. You know? “
Oh my gosh, that man just killed a hundred Nazis and saved my life!” “What was his name!? All I know is his first name—Marion!”
“Yes. It IS a very masculine name!
”

I think you catch my drift.

So, a lot of
people
have been writing in asking why I changed from one pretty macho heroic name to John Wayne. Did you ever stop to think that
Marion and Wayne are sort of the same? The change isn’t that different. If you just pronounce the “on” at the end of Marion,
and the “ne” at the end of Wayne—yes, I think you’ll hear it! The same sound to the names. However, the name “John Wayne”
is better for Hollywood, but not because the name Marion is girly or that I don’t like the name. I love the name. It totally
fits who I am. Sometimes, I even use the name myself when I’m just sitting around somewhere just to show them that I’m not
embarrassed by the name.

“
Marion would like a beer, please
.” And then they give Marion a beer.

Besides, why would I even write all of this about my really great first name if I was embarrassed by it? It’s a great name,
really it is. Seriously. It totally is.

My parents were smart. That’s the plain honest-to-God truth. They picked a good one for a guy like me, and that’s why I’ll
never change my birth certificate or any official documents when it comes to my name. (Besides, I’ve checked—you can’t change
that stuff anyway, so it’s not worth worrying about.)

Now, just ’cause I’m okay with the name doesn’t mean you can start calling me that. It’ll just get confusing, so we’ll stick
with John Wayne or Duke or The Duke or The Biggest Star in American Cinema. Just not Marion.

Okay? Okay.

From:
http://www.copernicus.de/blog/

Subject: READ THIS!! LOOK NOW!
EARTH NOT CENTER OF UNIVERSE!!

IF YOU READ THE ABOVE SUBJECT LINE YOU NOW KNOW THAT THIS INFORMATION I HAVE RECENTLY BECOME AWARE OF IS OF EXTREME IMPORTANCE
TO ALL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!! THIS INFORMATION MUST BE PASSED FROM ONE TO ANOTHER UNTIL EVERYONE IS IN POSSESSION OF THE
INFORMATION!! OTHERWISE, I FEAR THAT SUCH INFORMATION MAY NEVER FIND ITS WAY TO THE PUBLIC.

CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU’RE BEING TOLD. CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU’VE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE. CONTRARY TO EVERYTHING YOU’VE READ ABOUT
THE HEAVENS—THE EARTH IS
NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT
THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. IT IS
NOT NOT NOT
WHAT THEY’VE TOLD YOU. EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVE IS WRONG.

I HAVE RESEARCH THAT PROVES THAT EVERYTHING
REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN
AND I CALL THIS MY “HELIOCENTRIC” PHILOSOPHY ABOUT THE HEAVENS.

HAVE YOU READ THE WORDS OF
CICERO
OR
PLATO
? HAVE YOU STUDIED WHAT THE ANCIENTS BELIEVED ABOUT THE MOVEMENT OF THE EARTH? HAVE YOU THROWN AWAY YOUR FALSE BELIEFS AND
ARE YOU NOW OPEN TO BELIEVING THE TRUTH? BECAUSE
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!

LINK
TO AN ARTICLE ON GEOCENTRIC THEORY—TOTALLY WRONG!!!

LINK
TO GEORGE RHETICUS’S BLOG, MY DEAR FRIEND WHO HAS CONVINCED ME THAT THE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE AND HOW IT MOVES MUST BE PUBLISHED
HERE FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE.

LINK
TO “COMMENTARIOLUS”—MY ELABORATED THOUGHTS ON THIS THEORY, THE EVIDENCE AS TO WHY THIS IS TRUE, AND WHY YOU SHOULD
NOT BELIEVE WHAT THE OTHERS ARE SAYING.

LINK TO THIS PAGE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. POINT PEOPLE IN THIS DIRECTION. WE ARE LIVING IN A WORLD THAT IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS
AND IT IS UP TO A SMALL GROUP OF US TO GET THE WORD OUT BEFORE WE ARE QUASHED BY THE “RESPECTED SCIENTISTS” OF THE WORLD.
TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

CONTACT ME
WITH QUESTIONS.

From:
http://www.michelangelo.it/blog/

Subject:
Project Impasse

The seventeen-foot-high block of marble was
delivered
yesterday. So, too, were additional chiseling tools necessary for the project. Today at dawn, I expected the project to commence.

And then my model, David, discovered he had a problem.

In fact, in all fairness, I should rephrase. David did not
have
a problem… he
is
a problem. Suddenly, after months of discussion and him being well aware of what this project entailed, he has now decided
he does NOT WANT TO POSE NUDE!!

He arrived today in clothing wrapped tightly around his torso. When I suggested it was time to begin, he stood up on the pedestal
and refused to take off the clothes when I prompted him to do so.

“Take them off
,” told him.

“
I’m afraid I cannot
,” he said.

“
What are you afraid of?”
I asked him.

“
I’m not pleased with how I look
,” he replied.

“
You look perfect
,” I assured him. “
I will do your body justice in my sculpture
”

“
You may think I look perfect
,” he said.
“But you don’t wake up and go to sleep with this body every single day of your life. I can see the imperfections in it
.”

“
You are crazy
,” I told him.
“Now take off your clothes.”

“
No
,” he said, crossing his arms.

“
My patience is waning
,” I told him. “
You agreed. This protect has been commissioned. Everything has been set in motion. I must begin today
.”

“
You don’t like what I’m wearing
?” he asked.

“It’s not that I don’t like what you’re wearing
,” I said cautiously. “
But the statue I planned on creating requires the perfect male form, completely bare. That is why I chose you. You are perfect”

“
I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that to curry favor
,” he said.

“What do I need to say in order for you to believe me when I tell you that you have a beautiful body
?” I asked.

“Look me in the eyes and really mean it
,” he said, nervously.

So I looked him in the eyes and told him again. He still was not willing to remove the garment and so I had to begin with
his feet. HIS FEET.

I am hoping that after a night of thinking on this project, he will change his mind.

Hope, being the key word.

From:
http://www.j_edgar_hoover.com/confidentialBLOG/

Subject:
New Pair of Shoes

As always, this personal blog entry was passed through the offices of the FBI before it ended up here on my blog. This is,
as I’ve explained before,
if I want to express my personal thoughts in this capacity.