The Lonely (26 page)

The
older man smiles at me, "You must be Sarah." He claps his hands and
beams at me.

I
force my lips to turn up and be polite. He has enough joy inside of him for us
both. He's old but still sparkly eyed and feisty.

"I'm
Lance, in case Eli there hasn’t told you and this is beginner's boxing."

The
boys look at me, appraising me.

Hands
grip my shoulders. "You boys go easy on Tinkerbell here okay?" Angelo
squeezes me. "You still have a chance to run away Tink." He slaps me
on the ass and walks off laughing. My eyes are wide and horrified.

Lance
laughs, "If that’s gonna offend you Tink, you're gonna need to toughen up.
Or take a seat on the pine over there."

Fire
burns in my eyes when I glance at Eli. He is pressing his lips together. He
looks like he's about to burst.

Lance
claps his hands again. "Three laps around the gym. Fast. I want a quick
warm up." I stretch my legs and flex everything. When Lance blows his
whistle I blow past Eli. I could kill him. I think of the millions of things I
want to say to him. How I don’t want to obey him and be under his thumb. The
things get less and less important as my legs finish their stretch and I kick
it into high gear. I'm lapping the kids and Lance.

As
I lap Eli I laugh, "Still can't catch me huh." I shoulder him and
keep running. I hear his pace pick up, but I have loads of room left in my legs
to stretch out. I kick it up. He doesn't stand a chance, I finish my last lap
and start stretching.

Lance
comes in next, he beats Eli and the kids. I eye up Eli as he comes in next. He
gives me a death glare but I shrug it off, "Somebody let an old man kick
his ass."

"In
the ring Tink." Lance points at me.

I
sigh, "Lance…uhm…sir. My name is Sarah."

He
waves me off, "We all have nicknames here. I'll never remember Sarah. But
with your hair in that bun, you look like Tinkerbell."

I
look back at Eli who is still sucking wind, "What's his nickname?"

Lance
looks confused, "That’s Eli. We don’t nickname him."

I
point at Angelo kicking the crap out of a guy in the ring next to us,
""Him?"

He
winks, "Angelo."

"What
his real name?" I ask and pull myself into the ring.

"Angelo?"
He says it like I'm the dumb one. I'm exasperated.

The
ring feels funny. I bounce and hop and get why boxers can spring around so
easily on TV when they fight.

The
kids start to filter in. Lance throws tape at me. "Tape up."

Eli
saunters over and takes the tape. He wraps my hands. They feel funny. He sticks
the tape in his pocket and winks at me, "For later."

My
right eye twitches. He laughs and walks away.

The
kids and me stretch, practice air boxing and practice some more. My shoulders
and arms are burning. I feel like I might pass out any second. I'm the one
wheezing and sucking air. Eli has left. I look around for him. I catch the
cross tat in the far corner. He's naked from the waist up and fighting a beast
of a man. Eli is fast. I wouldn’t have even known it was him, if it weren’t for
the huge cross. He fights with severity and passion. It makes heat in my belly.

"He's
good huh?" I glance over at the kid next to me and nod.

I
look around at the fighters and sigh, "Kinda scary. These guys are all
good."

He
hits my butt with his glove and nods, "We'll be that good one day
Tink."

I
glance at Lance and shoot daggers with my eyes. He grins at me.

"Okay,
first up for sparing. Tink and Brandon."

I
look around for the kid grinning and thanking his lucky stars he gets to beat
on a girl.

Brandon
is taller than I am and not nearly as skinny as I would like him to be. I purse
my lips and wince, "Can't I have that kid?" I point to a scrawny kid
in the corner whose face matches mine.

Lance
rolls his bright twinkled eyes, "Tink. He's eleven. Brandon is fourteen.
He's closer in age to you."

Brandon
has a shit-eating grin. I want to make him eat it. I know what's more realistic
though. I'm going to get beaten up by a little boy. Lance straps my helmet on
and knocks it. I focus my eyes, "Ouch."

"That’s
so you know how it feels." He slides a guard in my mouth. I start to panic
and gag. "Shith hurtsh." I point with my glove at the guard in my
mouth-that he touched.

He
ignores me. I try to ignore the fingers that touched my mouth guard. I am not
that girl anymore.

"Shtupid
mouth guard gives me a lishp." I mutter.

He
grabs my heavy-ass gloved hand and drags my to the middle of the ring. Brandon
looks like he's king of the hill. I just want to kick him in the pills and end
it.

"Clean
fight, no kicking in the junk, no biting, and no kissing Brandon." I look
horrified and Brandon's face is beet red. He snickers and nods at the smug-ass
kid behind me.

"Mitts
in." I putt my mitts in and Brandon pounds my hands. My skinny arms drop.
The gloves weigh a ton.

Lance
throws a hand up, "Fight!" he shouts. I step back immediately.
Brandon swings wildly. I turtle and cry out, "Ow, you little shit. Shtop
it. Let me have a chanshe."

His
fists pummel me. I realize after a bit he isn’t hitting that hard. Eli hits harder
with a paddle.

"COME
ON TINK!" Lance is screaming like a mad man.

I
swing out once but the gloves weigh a serious ton. Brandon connects when I
swing and knocks me in the eye. I stagger back as the kids groan. Brandon stops
hitting. I see red. It takes me a second to get my eyes to stop seeing stars. I
jump up and fly at him. I'm screaming like a savage. Only I'm not punching. I'm
swatting like a girl. He screams and turtles, as I lose it.

I
feel hands grab me. I'm kicking and shouting. Lance is holding me back. He's
laughing so hard he's shaking me. The boys are laughing. Except Brandon. He
looks pissed. My eye is swelling. I'm still like a savage animal. I'm snarling
and snapping like a rabid dog.

Lance
is shaking me and pinning my arms. Brandon comes at me. He pulls back his arm.
I see the fist coming at me and duck. My arms come free from Lance. I tackle
Brandon to the ground and pin him there. The boys are cheering and laughing. My
red spit comes out of my mouth guard. I lift my glove to my mouth, disgusted,
"Oh my god, I'm shorrry." He is trying to shield himself from the
spit I'm shooting everywhere. I scream and jump off, "I'm shorrry."

He
flinches and scrambles to his feet.

Lance
has taken a knee. Angelo and Eli are both watching. My eye hurts. I shake my
hands at Lance, "I want out."

He
laughs, harder. I'm trapped in the stupid gloves and bleeding and swelling and
poor Brandon is far worse for wear.

"If
he hit you, you can tell me." I glance at her in the mirror and laugh. "For
reals, it was a fourteen-year old little shit. I blame Eli, but it was a little
boy."

Her
arms are crossed. She pulls her phone out and texts, "I just don’t see why
you didn’t leave."

I
sigh, "Because they called me Tinkerbell and made fun of me. All the women
there looked like dudes. I was the only girl with girlie arms. I had to try.
What would you have done if they called you Tinkerbell?"

She
laughs, "You know, you do look like Tinkerbell."

Horror
is spread across my face in the mirror. She puts her hands up defensively and
goes to her side of the room. I dust the huge bruise under my eye with my
powder cover up, but nothing seems to be working. I sigh, "Sebastian is
going to be meeting me here in like twenty-minutes and I look like a victim of
domestic violence. He's gonna look like a monster."

She
laughs, "Dude, no one is gonna think that."

I
arch an eyebrow at her in the mirror.

"Okay
they will, but screw them. Who cares. You're Million Dollar Baby."

I
roll my eyes, "I was so Million Dollar Baby. It wasn’t even funny. I was a
natural, let me tell you."

She
laughs at the sarcasm dripping off each word. She gets up and applies makeup to
my eye. She steps back and nods, "There. No one will even see it."
She slumps back on her bed.

I
inspect the job she has done and nod, "I was the worst boxer…ever…to grace
the rings of that club. Or any." I hear a noise. I look around, "Do
you hear that?"

"It's
your phone." She doesn’t look up from playing with hers.

I
frown, "I gave it back."

Her
eyebrows raise but her tone is nonchalant, "Yeah, huge shocker he managed
to sneak it back on you."

Standing
up and crossing the room, I mutter. "Dick." I squeeze the pockets of
my coat but nothing. Hearing it again, I glance at my Ugg and a sneer crosses my
face. I tilt the boot back and the iPhone falls out into my hand.

"Sneaky
sneakerton." I whisper and turn it over.

'I
need to see you tonight'

I
shake my head and text him back,
'No. I have a date with Sebastian.'
My stomach twinges imagining what he'll do to me if I
see him. How much further into the darkness he will pull me.

'Where
are you going?'

I
purse my lips and ask Shell, "Where are we going tonight?"

She
doesn’t look up, "Liquor Store."

"That’s
a bar?" Doesn’t sound like a bar.

She
nods and keeps playing with her phone.

'Liquor
Store…'

'No.
They have a mechanical bull. Think about how classy that is.'

I
roll my eyes and mock his right to call anything classy. I put the phone in my
pocket. The warmth of it is a comfort. It vibrates more, he's calling. I ignore
it. I pull on my coat and boots.

"You
can't wear that." She glances up and points at the boots. I look down and
shake my head, "It's freezing out there. I'm wearing boots."

She
gets up and passes me a pair of ballet flats, "Wear these at least. With
the boots, dude, they won't even let you in."

I
snatch them and put them on. My feet are cold, in our warm room. She opens the
door and grins at me. I am fighting an army of butterflies in my stomach. I
don’t even want to face him but I know I need to. I need to face my fears more
often.

Sebastian
is mulling around the front of the building with a guy I've never met. I assume
he's Vince.

When
Sebastian's hazel eyes meet mine, I can see the hesitation in them. It doesn’t
surprise me. I can't blame him at all.

He
looks like he did the first date, casual. I like this look better. He's mellow
and comfortable. It reminds me of Audrey Tatou and lazy kisses and ice cream.

Shell
smirks, "Vince, Sebastian, and my BFF Em…er…Sarah." I laugh.
Sebastian raises his eyebrows and watches me. He offers me a hand, looking at
Shell, "We've introduced ourselves already."

Vince
looks smug and Italian. I roll my eyes and take Sebastian's hand. Vince grabs
her butt and kisses her neck. I scowl. I want to rip his hand away. My eyes
dart nervously for the SUV.

"Can
we get a ride, Sarah?" Shell asks sweetly.

I
look at her horrified and shake my head, "No. Absolutely not." I get
her loyalty to me, but I won't torture Stuart. Not even if he tortured me.

Sebastian
points, "I drove over. I can get us there." I smile at him and ignore
the constant vibration in my pocket.

We
walk to the car and I feel lost in my abilities to have a conversation. The
guilt is heavy and uncomfortable. I hate how close we are to Shell and Vince
but I need to get it off my chest. I squeeze his arm, "I'm sorry. I'm an
emotional tard."

He
squeezes back, "It's all adjustments. Tiny adjustments. So what's the
plan? I thought we were going to talk?"

"Shell
wants to double date. New guy. She doesn't like going alone with new guys. I
don’t like it when she does either."

He
nods, "Yeah, god forbid you both end up kidnapped this year."

I
try to see if there was any humor in his voice or if it was all bitterness. I
shake it off and smile, "Anyway, I was thinking why not. Why not just do
something normal? You're normal and I want to be normal and bars and dancing
are normal."

He
laughs, "You and the normal. You have got to get past that."

Vince
interrupts us with an excited question, "Dude is this you?" He points
at the small silver SUV looking car Sebastian is leading us to.

I
see him in a new light when he grins and presses the unlock button. I glance at
Shell, but she looks confused like I am. It's a car. Apparently it might not be
just a car. Not the way Vince is laughing and nodding approvingly. "Wow.
Awesome."