The Coyote Under the Table/El Coyote Debajo de la Mesa (4 page)

T
here was once a very good priest who served at the church in a poor village. He was a small man and so everyone just called him Padre Chiquito. The people loved Padre Chiquito for his kindness and wisdom and for his gift of making people feel at peace with themselves.

There was another man in the village who was loved by everyone, but for a different reason. He could make the people laugh. There wasn't a hair on that man's head, so everyone called him Pelón, the bald one. His bald head was full of songs and verses, and especially riddles. He could come up with a riddle about almost anything, but no one else could ever ask a riddle that would stump Pelón.

Pelón was the one who swept out the church and kept the building in good repair for Padre Chiquito. And when the worries of the poor villagers weighed too heavily on the good priest, Pelón managed to keep Padre Chiquito smiling with his jokes and riddles.

One Sunday, just as Padre Chiquito was about to begin the Mass, a carriage pulled up in front of the church, and who should step down but the governor of the province. The governor was a very greedy and cruel man, and there was no telling what trouble he might bring to the village.

The governor strode to the front row of the church and took a seat, and the Mass began. As soon as Padre Chiquito began speaking, the people were calmed. He gave the most beautiful sermon they had ever heard. Their hearts filled with pride in their good priest. And so, when it was time for the collection, the people dug deep into their pockets and brought out every last penny they could afford.

The governor watched this, and thought,
Look at these people. When my tax collectors come around they say, ‘We're poor farmers. We have nothing to offer.' But here they are giving their money with both hands to this priest!
And the governor began plotting how he could get rid of the priest.

When the Mass had ended and the people had returned peacefully to their homes, the governor approached Padre Chiquito, shaking his head in concern. “I don't know, Padre,” he said. “I'm not at all sure you're wise enough to serve the people of this village. I'm going to give you a test. I will give you three questions and three days in which to answer them. If you can come to my palace three days from today with the correct answers, you may stay here in this village. But if you fail, I'll have you removed and I'll put in your place a priest of my choosing.”

Padre Chiquito had no choice but to agree. So the governor looked about him, trying to come up with a hard question. Under a tree on the other side of the street he saw a dog turn around several times in the grass and then lie down.

“This is the first question,” said the governor. “How many circles does a dog make before it lies down?”

The priest repeated the question to himself, “How many circles does a dog make before it lies down?” How could he give one answer to that question? It would probably be a different number each time the dog lies down.

The governor saw the worried look come over the priest's face, and he smiled to himself. He had already thought of the next question. “Here is the second question,” he continued. “How deep is the sea?”

How deep is the sea?
thought Padre Chiquito.
How should I know that? I'm a priest, not a man of science.

The governor smiled broadly. His third question was the best of all. He asked the priest, “What am I thinking?”

The priest shuddered within himself as he repeated the question, “What am I thinking?” That was an impossible question to answer!

Then the governor turned on his heel and walked out of the church, leaving Padre Chiquito in despair over the difficulty of answering those questions in three lifetimes, let alone in three days.

A short while later, when Pelón arrived to sweep out the church, he saw how worried the priest looked. When he learned the reason, he said, “Don't worry, Padre Chiquito. Lend me one of your robes and your little burro to ride to the governor's palace. I'll go and answer those questions for you.”

Padre Chiquito didn't really think anyone could answer the questions, but he saw no better solution, so three days later Pelón dressed himself in one of the priest's robes and pulled the hood up over his head. He mounted the priest's burro and went trotting off to the governor's palace.

The governor had invited all his rich friends to watch him make a fool of the good priest. Pelón entered the hall and stood humbly before the crowd of wealthy people. “Are you ready, Padre?” asked the Governor. Pelón nodded his head.

Then the governor stated his first question, “How many circles does a dog make before it lies down?”

“How many circles does a dog make before it lies down?” repeated Pelón. “That's obvious, Your Excellency. As many as it wants to.”

The governor's rich friends declared that was a good answer. But the governor wasn't impressed. He knew that was the easiest question of all.

He stated his second question. “How deep is the sea?”

“How deep is the sea?” Pelón repeated, smiling. “Exactly one stone's throw.”

“One stone's throw?” laughed the governor. “You think the sea is no deeper than that?” But then he realized the answer was right. If you throw a stone into the sea, it goes exactly to the bottom and no farther. The rich friends nodded to one another in approval.

Well
, thought the governor,
this priest is more clever than I expected.
But still he felt confident. He had one more question, one that was impossible to answer. “What am I thinking?”

“What are you thinking, Your Excellency? That's the easiest question of all. You think I'm Padre Chiquito, but I'm not. I'm Pelón, the priest's helper!” And he threw back the hood and showed everyone his bald head.

Everyone laughed with delight. And the governor had to swallow his pride and join in the laughter himself. He invited Pelón to stay and eat with him and his friends, and then sent the faithful servant home with the news that Padre Chiquito could stay and serve the good people of the village for the rest of his life. And that is exactly what he did.

Había una vez un buen padre que oficiaba en la iglesia de un pueblo humilde. Era un hombre bajo y todo el mundo le decía Padre Chiquito. La gente amaba al Padre Chiquito por su bondad, su sabiduría y por su don de hacer que todos se sintieran tranquilos.

Había otro hombre en el pueblo que todo el mundo quería, pero por otro motivo. Sabía hacer reír a la gente. No había ni un solo pelo en la cabeza del hombre, por lo que todos le decían Pelón. Esa cabeza calva estaba llena de cancioncitas y versos, pero más que nada, adivinanzas. Sabía salir con una adivinanza sobre cualquier cosa, y nadie le podía decir una adivinanza que no acertara.

Era Pelón quien barría la iglesia y mantenía el edificio en buenas condiciones para el Padre Chiquito. Y cuando los problemas de los pobres poblanos abrumaban al buen sacerdote, Pelón lograba hacerlo sonreír con sus chistes y adivinanzas.

Un domingo, justamente cuando el Padre Chiquito estaba por comenzar la misa, un carruaje se detuvo delante de la iglesia y quién bajó de él más que el gobernador de la provincia. Este gobernador era muy altivo y avaro y no se sabía qué mal podría causar al pueblo.

El gobernador caminó hasta la primera fila de la iglesia y se sentó y la misa comenzó. Tan pronto como el Padre Chiquito comenzó a hablar, la gente se tranquilizó. Pronunció la homilía más bella que hubieran oído nunca. Se hincharon de orgullo por su buen cura. Así que cuando llegó el momento para dar el donativo metieron las manos en los bolsillos y sacaron todos los centavitos que tenían.

El gobernador se fijó en esto y pensó: “Mira esta gente. Cuando mis recolectores de impuestos vienen por aquí, dicen, Somos labradores pobres. No tenemos nada que dar. Pero dan dinero a manos llenas a este padre.” Y el gobernador se puso a tramar cómo deshacerse del cura.

Cuando terminó la misa y la gente regresó tranquilamente a casa, el gobernador se acercó al padre, moviendo la cabeza preocupado. —No sé, padre —dijo—. No estoy convencido de que usted sea bastante sabio para servir a la gente de este pueblo. Le voy a poner una prueba. Le doy tres preguntas y el plazo de tres días para encontrar las respuestas. Si usted puede venir a mi palacio después de tres días y contestar bien, puede continuar aquí en este pueblo. Pero si no lo hace, lo voy a despedir y pongo en su lugar al sacerdote de mi preferencia.

Padre Chiquito no pudo más que consentir. El gobernador miró alrededor, buscando una pregunta difícil de contestar. Bajo un árbol al otro lado de la calle vio que un perro dio varios vueltas en la hierba y luego se acostó.

—Esta es la primera pregunta —dijo el gobernador—. ¿Cuántas vueltas da un perro antes de acostarse?

El padre repitió la pregunta a sí mismo: —¿Cuántas vueltas da un perro antes de acostarse? —¿Cómo podría haber una sola respuesta a esa pregunta? Puede ser un número distinto cada vez que el perro se acuesta.

El gobernador notó la preocupación en la cara del cura y se sonrió para sí. Ya había inventado la próxima pregunta: —Esta es la segunda pregunta —prosiguió—. ¿Qué tan hondo es el mar?

“¿Qué tan hondo es el mar?” pensó Padre Chiquito. “¿Cómo lo voy a saber? Soy sacerdote, no científico.”

El gobernador sonrió grandemente. La tercera pregunta era la mejor de todas. Le dijo al padre: —¿Qué estoy pensando?

El padre se estremeció al repetirse la pregunta. “¿Qué estoy pensando?” ¡Era una pregunta imposible de contestar!

Con eso, el gobernador dio media vuelta y salió de la iglesia, dejando al Padre Chiquito preguntándose cómo poder encontrar las respuestas en tres vidas, mucho menos en tres días.

Un poco más tarde, cuando Pelón llegó para barrer la iglesia, vio lo preocupado que estaba el cura. Cuando supo el porqué, dijo: —No tenga cuidado, Padre Chiquito. Présteme una de sus sotanas y déjeme montar su burro para ir al palacio del gobernador. Voy a ver si puedo contestar las preguntas.

De hecho, el Padre Chiquito no creía que nadie pudiera responder esas preguntas, pero no vio otra opción. Así que tres días más tarde Pelón se vistió en una sotana del cura y se cubrió la cabeza con la capucha. Montó el burro del padre y se fue al trote para el palacio del gobernador.

El gobernador había invitado a todos sus amigos adinerados a verlo burlarse del buen sacerdote. Pelón entró en la sala y se paró humildemente en frente del grupo de ricos. —¿Está listo, padre? — preguntó el gobernador. Pelón asintió con la cabeza.