The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (643 page)

Enter SEBASTIAN and ANTONIO

SEBASTIAN

I would not by my will have troubled you;

I wish that I had not caused you trouble;

But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,

But since you seem to enjoy what I thought would burden you,

I will no further chide you.

I will not criticize you further.

ANTONIO

I could not stay behind you: my desire,

I could not stay behind; my wishes,

More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth;

More sharp that filed steel, pushed me ahead;

And not all love to see you, though so much

And not just my wanting to see you, though so much

As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,

it was enough to make me take even a longer journey,

But jealousy what might befall your travel,

But worry over what might happen to you in your travels,

Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger,

Being alone in these parts; which to a stranger,

Unguided and unfriended, often prove

Without a guide or a friend, often turns out to be

Rough and unhospitable: my willing love,

Rough and without hospitality; my willing love,

The rather by these arguments of fear,

Increased by these fearful thoughts,

Set forth in your pursuit.

Made me run after you.

SEBASTIAN

My kind Antonio,

My dear Antonio,

I can no other answer make but thanks,

I can make no other answer but thanks

And thanks; and ever oft good turns

And thanks; and so often such good turns

Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:

Are not repaid as they deserve to be:

But, were my worth as is my conscience firm,

But, if I were worth as much as my conscience is firm,

You should find better dealing. What's to do?

You should find a better reward. What should we do?

Shall we go see the reliques of this town?

Shall we go see the sights of this town?

ANTONIO

To-morrow, sir: best first go see your lodging.

Tomorrow, sir: it would be best to first find you someplace to stay.

SEBASTIAN

I am not weary, and 'tis long to night:

I'm not tired, and it is a long time before dark:

I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes

Please, let us feast our eyes

With the memorials and the things of fame

With the memorials and famous things

That do renown this city.

That this city is known for.

ANTONIO

Would you'ld pardon me;



I do not without danger walk these streets:



Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his galleys



I did some service; of such note indeed,



That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.

Forgive me, I killed a bunch of the count's men in a fight,

and if I were killed here it would not be punished.

SEBASTIAN

Belike you slew great number of his people.

So you killed a large number of his people.

ANTONIO

The offence is not of such a bloody nature;



Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel



Might well have given us bloody argument.



It might have since been answer'd in repaying



What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake,



Most of our city did: only myself stood out;



For which, if I be lapsed in this place,



I shall pay dear.

Not particularly, I am more of a scapegoat in a larger fight.

SEBASTIAN

Do not then walk too open.

Don't walk too obviously then.

ANTONIO

It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse.

It doesn't fit me. Hold, sir, here's my wallet.

In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,

In the south part of the city, at the Elephant inn,

Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet,

Is the best place to stay: I will fetch out dinner,

Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledge

While you pass the time and feed your knowledge

With viewing of the town: there shall you have me.

With seeing the sights: there you shall meet me.

SEBASTIAN

Why I your purse?

Why give me your wallet?

ANTONIO

Haply your eye shall light upon some toy



You have desire to purchase; and your store,



I think, is not for idle markets, sir.

It is possible you will find something you want to buy,

and I know you have little money.

SEBASTIAN

I'll be your purse-bearer and leave you

I'll carry your wallet and leave you

For an hour.

For an hour.

ANTONIO

To the Elephant.

To the Elephant inn.

SEBASTIAN

I do remember.

I will remember.

Exeunt

Enter OLIVIA and MARIA

OLIVIA

I have sent after him: he says he'll come;

I have invited him here: he says he'll come;

How shall I feast him? what bestow of him?

How shall I feast him? What gifts give him?

For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.

For youth is bought more often than begged or borrowed.

I speak too loud.

I speak too loudly.

Where is Malvolio? he is sad and civil,

Where is Malvolio? He is sad and polite,

And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:

And is good for my reputation:

Where is Malvolio?

Where is Malvolio?

MARIA

He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner. He

He is coming, madam; but is acting very strange. He

is, sure, possessed, madam.

is surely possessed, madam.

OLIVIA

Why, what's the matter? does he rave?

Why, what's the matter? Is he ranting?

MARIA

No, madam, he does nothing but smile: your

No, madam, all he does is smile: your

ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if

ladyship would be safest to have some guards around you, if

he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits.

he comes; for, sure, he has lost his mind.

OLIVIA

Go call him hither.

Go call him here.

Exit MARIA

I am as mad as he,

I am as insane as he is,



If sad and merry madness equal be.

If sadness and madness are equal.

Re-enter MARIA, with MALVOLIO

How now, Malvolio!

What's going on, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO

Sweet lady, ho, ho.

Sweet lady, hello, hello.

OLIVIA

Smilest thou?

You're smiling?

I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

I asked for you to come on a sad occasion.

MALVOLIO

Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some

Sad, lady? I could be sad: it does make for some

obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but

loss of circulation, this cross-gartering; but

what of that? if it please the eye of one, it is

who cares? If it pleases one person, it is

with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and

with me as the very true poem says, "Please one, and

please all.'

you please all.'

OLIVIA

Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee?

Why, what is going on, man? What is the matter with you?

MALVOLIO

Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It

My thoughts are not dark, though my legs are yellow. It

did come to his hands, and commands shall be

came to his hands, and commands shall be

executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.

followed: I think we do know the sweet handwriting.

OLIVIA

Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?

Will you go to bed, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO

To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.

To bed! Yes, sweetheart, and I'll come to you.

OLIVIA

God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss

God comfort you! Why do you smile like that and kiss

thy hand so oft?

your hand so often?

MARIA

How do you, Malvolio?

What are you doing, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO

At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.

At your request! yes; nightingales answer crows.

MARIA

Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?

Why are you appearing so ridiculously and cheekily in front of my lady?

MALVOLIO

'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.

'Do not be afraid of greatness:' it was well written.

OLIVIA

What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?

What do you mean by that, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO

'Some are born great,'--

'Some are born great,'--

OLIVIA

Ha!

Ha!

MALVOLIO

'Some achieve greatness,'--

'Some reach greatness,'--

OLIVIA

What sayest thou?

What are you saying?

MALVOLIO

'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'

'And some have greatness pushed upon them.'

OLIVIA

Heaven restore thee!

Heaven heal you!

MALVOLIO

'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'--

'Remember who praised your yellow stockings,'