The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (646 page)

SIR TOBY BELCH

[To VIOLA] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight

There's no solution, sir; he will fight

with you for's oath sake: marry, he hath better

with you for the sake of this oath: by Mary, he has

bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now

thought better of the quarrel, and he finds that now

scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for

it is not worth talking of: therefore draw, for

the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you.

the sake of his promise; he protests he will not hurt you.

VIOLA

[Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing would

[Aside] May God defend me! A little thing would

make me tell them how much I lack of a man.

make me tell them how little of a man I am.

FABIAN

Give ground, if you see him furious.

Give him ground, if you see him angry.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman

Come, Sir Andrew, there's no solution; the gentleman

will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you;

will, for his honor's sake, have one match with you;

he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has

he cannot by the warrior code avoid it: but he has

promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he

promised me, as he is a nobleman and a soldier, he

will not hurt you. Come on; to't.

will not hurt you. Come on; start.

SIR ANDREW

Pray God, he keep his oath!

Pray God, he keeps his promise!

VIOLA

I do assure you, 'tis against my will.

They draw

Enter ANTONIO

ANTONIO

Put up your sword. If this young gentleman

Put away your sword. If this young nobleman

Have done offence, I take the fault on me:

Has done offense, I take it as my fault:



If you offend him, I for him defy you.

If you offend him, I defy you for him.

SIR TOBY BELCH

You, sir! why, what are you?

You, sir! Why, who are you?

ANTONIO

One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more

One, sir, that for his love dares to do still more

Than you have heard him brag to you he will.

Than you have heard him brag to you that he will.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.

No, if you are taking this on, I will for you.

They draw

Enter Officers

FABIAN

O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.

Oh, good Sir Toby, stop! Here come the police.

SIR TOBY BELCH

I'll be with you anon.

I'll be with you in a moment.

VIOLA

Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.

Please, sir, put your sword away, please.

First Officer

This is the man; do thy office.

This is the man; do you job.

Second Officer

Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino.

Antonio, I arrest you for the sake of Count Orsino.

ANTONIO

You do mistake me, sir.

You are making a mistake, sir.

First Officer

No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,

No sir, not one bit; I know you well.

Though now you have no sea-cap on your head

Though you do not have your former hat on your head

Take him away: he knows I know him well.

Take him away: he knows that I know him well.

ANTONIO

I must obey.

I must do what they say.

To VIOLA

This comes with seeking you:

This comes from looking for you:

But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.

But there's no solution; I must answer it.

What will you do, now my necessity

What will you do, now that my troubles

Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me

Makes me ask you for my wallet? It causes me pain

Much more for what I cannot do for you

Much more for what I cannot do for you

Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;

Than what happens to me myself. You stand amazed;

But be of comfort.

But be comforted.

Second Officer

Come, sir, away.

Come on, sir, let's go.

ANTONIO

I must beg you some of that money.

I must beg from you some of that money.

VIOLA

What money, sir?

What money, sir?

For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,

For the great kindness you have shown me here,

And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,

And, partly, as prompted by your current troubles,

Out of my lean and low ability


Out of my limited amount of money

I'll lend you something: my having is not much;

I'll lend you something: I do not have much;

I'll make division of my present with you:

I'll give part of what I have at the moment with you:

Hold, there's half my coffer.

Hold, here's half my wallet.

ANTONIO

Will you deny me now?



Is't possible that my deserts to you



Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,



Lest that it make me so unsound a man



As to upbraid you with those kindnesses



That I have done for you.

What? You're being ungrateful.

VIOLA

I know of none;



Nor know I you by voice or any feature:



I hate ingratitude more in a man



Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,



Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption



Inhabits our frail blood.

What?? You are the one being ungrateful!

ANTONIO

O heavens themselves!

Oh by heaven!

Second Officer

Come, sir, I pray you, go.

Come on sir, please, go.

ANTONIO

Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here



I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death,



Relieved him with such sanctity of love,



And to his image, which methought did promise



Most venerable worth, did I devotion.

But I saved his life!

First Officer

What's that to us? The time goes by: away!

What do we care? Time is slipping past us: away!

ANTONIO

But O how vile an idol proves this god



Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.



In nature there's no blemish but the mind;



None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:



Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil



Are empty trunks o'erflourish'd by the devil.

Oh, Sebastian, I am very disappointed in you.

First Officer

The man grows mad: away with him! Come, come, sir.

This man is going crazy: away with him! Come on, sir.

ANTONIO

Lead me on.

Take me away.

Exit with Officers

VIOLA

Methinks his words do from such passion fly,



That he believes himself: so do not I.



Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,



That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!

Oh, he mistook me for Sebastian! Please, may I be right!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian: we'll

Come here, knight; come here, Fabian: we'll

whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.

whisper a few poems and stories that we know.

VIOLA

He named Sebastian: I my brother know



Yet living in my glass; even such and so



In favour was my brother, and he went



Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,



For him I imitate: O, if it prove,



Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.

I deliberately copied Sebastian, so I am mistaken for him,

May it turn out that the storms are kind and salt waves fresh in love.

Exit

SIR TOBY BELCH

A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than

A very dishonest worthless boy, and more a coward than

a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his

a rabbit is: his dishonesty appears in leaving his

friend here in necessity and denying him; and for

friend when he needed him and denying him; and for

his cowardship, ask Fabian.

his cowardliness, ask Fabian.

FABIAN

A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.

A coward, a terrible coward like it was his religion.

SIR ANDREW

'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.

I'll run after him again and beat him.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.

Do; hit him soundly, but never draw your sword.

SIR ANDREW

An I do not,--

If I do not,--

FABIAN

Come, let's see the event.

Let's go see this happen.

SIR TOBY BELCH

I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.

I'd be willing to bet money it doesn't happen.

Exeunt