The Child Whisperer (18 page)

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CHRIS’ STORY

Comfort, Comfort, Comfort!

I cannot stress the word comfort enough when it comes to a Type 2 child’s experience. At a very young age, my Type 2 son Chris whined and fussed about his socks. He was only three years old and when it came to putting on socks and shoes, he fought me, kicking and screaming while saying, “I hate my socks!”

I tried everything I knew, like making sure they lined up on his toes properly, that the heel was in the right position, being firm and telling him it didn’t matter. I even resorted to telling him that everybody hated socks and we all just learned to live with it! I tried everything except the one thing that I now know would have fixed it.

If I had the chance to do that over, I would validate that his socks did not feel comfortable to him. Then I would take him to the store and let him feel all the socks until we found and bought the comfiest socks. What was a five-month daily battle would have ended in one shopping trip. To this day, he still is very picky about his socks feeling very comfortable and I honor him for that, as that is just one more reminder that his nature is a gift!

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Going to Pre-school and School:
Hesitant

These children can be hesitant on the first day—or even first few days of going to school. They need some time to acclimate and observe before getting involved. And they may hold back until another child comes to engage them or they finally feel comfortable. This may happen with or without parents present.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Your child will do best if you can help them plan ahead to know what to expect (what they’ll do, who will be there, how long it will last, what you will do together after you come to pick them up). As soon as Type 2 children feel comfortable and connected with the people, the space, and the experience at the school, they will have no problem going after that. Take the time to go to the school, meet the teacher, see their classroom, walk around the playground a couple weeks before school starts so they can start to connect with their future experience there.

Being Left with a Babysitter:
Need feelings validated

Many Type 2 children would rather go with their parents than stay with a babysitter, but they usually do fine with sitters they know and feel comfortable with. Even if they know a sitter, they may cry when their parent is about to leave. Rather than trying to make them stop crying, validate their feelings. Tell your Type 2 child that it’s fine to be sad that you’re going away, but that you’ll come back soon.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Again, planning is key here. Communicate the time frame that you’ll be gone, what your child and the babysitter will do while you’re gone, and the time they can expect you to be back. If your child is still too young to understand this, just make sure you connect with them through eye contact and a little snuggle before you rush off.

Dating:
Prefer comfortable experiences

As Type 2 children mature, they continue to value comfortable experiences. When they start dating, they may only want to go on dates with people they already know fairly well. They will plan activities and timing carefully for dates that they initiated. And for dates they were asked on, they will likely choose what to wear well in advance and even mentally plan some topics they will discuss or questions they might ask. Having an outfit prepared and set out ahead of time will be supportive to a stress-free experience before a Type 2’s date.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Type 2 teenagers value being liked and making things comfortable for others. Make sure your Type 2 child knows that their own comfort is just as important as their date’s. Tell them that if they ever feel uncomfortable about how their date treats them, they have the right to speak up, rather than just go along with something. And if someone asks them out on a date or to an activity, they have a right to say no if they feel uncomfortable about going. This tip goes for both Type 2 daughters and sons.

High School Experience:
Need to connect in advance

Because they prefer low-key situations, the bustle of a large high school with many different classes, teachers, and classrooms full of people they don’t know can feel overwhelming to a Type 2. In looking forward to their high school experience, they may worry about feeling invisible or left out. But Type 2s can have a fun, supportive experience in any school.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Help your child set an intention to find a group of friends they genuinely connect with. If your child focuses on finding like-minded friends they feel comfortable around, they will find them. Remind your child of their gift to put others at ease, which naturally brings out the best in the people they meet. Getting involved in clubs and extra-curricular activities they are drawn to allows them to meet other students in smaller settings, where they tend to make connections more easily.

. . . .

CALEB’S STORY

High School Blues

Caleb’s first year of high school was tough. Even though he was well-known and well-liked enough to become the sophomore class president, many of his friends experienced a lot of drama in their lives. This was stressful for his more sensitive nature.

The next year, he switched schools and found a new group of friends that did not pull him into the middle of their drama and expect him to resolve it. Because of those new friends, his high school experience became much more positive and supportive.

. . . .

Another option for a Type 2 who feels overwhelmed is to look into schools of different sizes. One 16-year-old who moved to a significantly smaller school felt much more supported in her ability to make connections and learn at her own pace. 

Driving:
Responsible and cautious

Type 2 teenage drivers are generally responsible and aware. When they first start learning to drive, they may be almost too cautious. Answer their questions and give them the time they need to practice. Once they have enough experience, they will generally be responsive drivers.

After reading through this section, what
aha’s
do you have about supporting your Type 2 child in living true to their nature in their current experience? List a few of your thoughts:

Physical Characteristics

You may think your child is a Type 2 because your child is emotional. But all four Types express emotion. They just do so with a unique movement. One of the most telling ways to identify which movement your child dominantly expresses is to look at facial features and their body language. Your child’s physical characteristics are often more accurate than personality, which can be altered by situation or expectation.

Contrasts in a Type 2 child’s features are low and subtle, and their bone structure creates elongated S-curves and ovals. The most noticeable overall characteristic I see in all Type 2 babies and children is their softened, blended features that all move in a downward movement on their face.

Something to remember
: Learning facial profiling for babies and children in a book without pictures or illustrations can be difficult! That is why I have created a library of free videos on my website called, “How to Profile Babies, Children, and Teens!” To access this library visit www.thechildwhisperer
.
com.

Face Shape:
Oval

Their hairline often makes an S-curve.

Skin/Skin Texture:
Soft, supple, with blended skin tones

You may notice that your Type 2 child has particularly sensitive skin. As babies, they may get diaper rashes and other rashes on their face if exposed to harsh chemicals. As they hit puberty, harsh products or too much movement on their face (through washing too often or through other irritants) can lead to blemishes that become inflamed. Type 2 skin responds well to water-based products with soothing components like aloe or lavender.

Cheeks:
Elongated cheek, S-curve cheek, or “jowls”

No obvious cheekbones or jawline, as cheeks blend in with everything else. There is a downward, softened movement to their cheeks.

Nose:
Soft on top, S-curve on the sides and in the nostrils, medium size, slight bump on the bridge

Eyes:
Almond-shaped eyes, heavy or drooping lids

May be described as doe eyes. When you follow the line of their eyelids from the inside of the eye to the outside, it always follows a downward sloping movement.

Eyebrows:
Half an oval, long S-curve, low arch, no angles

Often blends with skin tone. Eyebrow ends have an obvious downward movement.

Hands:
Long, soft, graceful fingers (and toes), fingers taper toward nail, oval nail bed

Your Type 2 child will not express every one of these physical features in their face—and some features may not fully express themselves while your child is still growing. Most all Type 2 children express the common trait of downward motion in their features, almost as if parts of their face are melting or moving downward. Whatever features they do have will be very blended in quality.

Body Language

Since Energy Profiling is an assessment of our natural expression of movement, body language is an excellent clue to your child’s Energy Type. Your child may not express all of the following movements, but if they are a dominant Type 2, you may recognize many of them in your child if you pay attention. Do any of these movements describe your child?