Authors: Leanne Davis
“He doesn’t need that.”
Gretchen sighed and leaned her elbows on the counter. “What, Leila? What doesn’t Tony need? A vacation? Fun? Time with someone he likes to be around? What do you think I’m doing to him?”
“You’re going to hurt him eventually, and who do you think will pick up the pieces again?”
Her eyebrows lowered. “Why do you assume I’m going to hurt him? Maybe he’ll hurt me. You totally underestimate him. He’s still a fully grown, red-blooded, adult male. He could tire of me, or find someone new, or suddenly despise how I tie my shoes. I have no idea, but it’s a little soon to predict that
I’m
going to hurt
him.
”
“I think you’re getting his hopes up and it isn’t fair. You’re going to… what, Gretchen? Settle down with a man who still lives with his parents?”
She glared at Leila. “I am not trying to hurt him. I am simply dating him. Something that should make you glad. It’s a normal thing for a thirty-five-year-old man to do, with or without both of his arms.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that about him. I’ve heard you.”
“So has he. He doesn’t take me seriously. He knows laughing can often make things a lot less weird and not so awful.”
Leila shook her head and turned away. “You don’t know what you might do to him.”
“I only know I’m not trying to do anything negative to him.”
Leila stopped talking when Tony appeared at the top of the stairs, his duffel bag in his hand. He smiled when he made eye contact with Gretchen and her heart sped up in her chest. Still. After nearly a month of sleeping with him, he still did that to her. He patted his mother’s shoulder as he passed her. “See you, Mom.”
“Yes. Have fun.” Leila said all the right words, but her scowling grimace was aimed directly at Gretchen, who thought about sticking her tongue out. Instead, she politely followed Tony and tried to ignore why his mother hated her so much now.
Gretchen got her revenge in the end by having the most fantastic weekend of her life with Leila’s son.
****
“I got a strange call today.”
“Yeah? From who?”
“From some vet who has to do a speech for his daughter’s college graduation. He was invited as a guest speaker. Anyway, he asked me if I’d write it for him; and get this, he says he’d pay me. Says he saw some of mine on
YouTube
, and that’s the kind of thing he wants to deliver.”
Gretchen froze. It was a sunny, cool March day and she came over to sit near Tony, stretching her legs out over his lap.
“What do you mean?” she asked as she sat up suddenly. “Like hiring you as his speech writer?”
Tony shrugged, keeping his eyes glued on the basketball game he was watching on TV. He forgot to answer her as he swore at the opposing team. He was a huge Lakers fan and nearly got into fights sometimes with the TV over bad calls. At last, he glanced back at her as she waited with her eyebrows raised for his reply.
“Yeah, I guess. I mean nothing official like that. I’ll just do it for him. Poor guy didn’t know how to string two sentences together on paper. He emailed me what he wrote.”
She scrunched her eyebrows. “Tony? How do you know how to string two sentences together? Where did you learn to write like that? I should know. I’ve given enough speeches here and there, but they were nothing like the eloquent, articulate, poetry you write.”
He tore his eyes from the game with a surprised expression before he laughed. “Are you kidding me? I don’t do that. I write some crap down really quick and just memorize it.”
She shook her head. “No. No. You’re quite talented at it.” She tilted her head, studying his profile. He was barely listening to her, and his eyes were back on the game. He flinched and flexed and cheered and groaned. He actively watched sports as if he were doing them. He was such a physical, active man. It still pained her to imagine what his current limits did to his sense of self. “Tony?”
He finally half turned his face to her, although his eyeballs were still glued the other way. “Hmm?”
“You told me once I never noticed you before. I didn’t see you. Right?”
His gaze turned fully and sharpened on her face. “Yeah. So?”
“So, I think the first time I really ever saw you was when I heard you giving that first speech. When I say you’re talented, I mean, more like brilliant in how you can string incongruent words together. It’s kind of funny, seeing how you don’t seem to like much conversation… But you are a contradiction quite often to me. You hate adults asking questions about your arm, but you tolerate anything a kid says, be it cruel or rude even. I think you should write it for the guy, but you should charge him for it.”
His hand, which was resting on her knee, started stroking her thigh, sliding inches higher. His eyes held hers as he said softly, “You think so, huh? Because now you’ve finally noticed me?”
She leaned forward, and her body responded to his tone of voice as well as his touch. “Yes. I really, really notice you now.
Right now.
”
He smiled as his fingers slid higher and the tips of them just barely grazed the skin of her thighs. Up and down, he caressed her until she flopped back and nearly groaned in frustration to simply
touch her.
Where it really mattered. But she knew there was no sense in hurrying him. Not if he didn’t want to be.
Usually, he didn’t want to be in any hurry. He could drive her crazy, to the point of wanting to scratch her fingernails into the wall to express her frustration. But it was also part of his gift.
****
Things were crazy-good between them. There was no other way Gretchen could describe it. They got along like they’d been together for decades, but the smoldering, hot looks and touches felt brand new every single time. She lost her head just thinking about him. She’d be in middle of typing, or working with a patient, when her daydreams would suddenly intrude. She continually thought about him, and anticipated seeing him like she hadn’t done since she was a young girl, waiting for Will to meet her between classes.
She often went to his speaking engagements and listened to him, sometimes closing her eyes so his deep voice could travel inside her, raising goose bumps on her arms every single time. He was that emotional and moving to hear. Her heart kept swelling and frequently felt like it would burst with pride over Tony. She wanted to stand up and announce loudly, “Isn’t he wonderful? And he’s all mine.”
At least, for now.
She didn’t ponder that too much. She didn’t think far beyond now, or here, or today. She lived primarily to see him, and went about her life as required.
Donny and Vickie went on their honeymoon, and upon hearing the news of Tony and Gretchen, they both cornered her on their own to give her their personal input. Donny hugged her as if she just saved his life. He quietly said thank you and left it at that. Vickie, however, kept asking her multiple times if she was sure a relationship with Tony was a good idea.
It was, of course, a little weird. They were married, and all siblings, and even went to dinner with Leila and Lewis on several occasions.
But not on one of those occasions did Leila have anything nice, kind or casual to say to Gretchen. She was always polite in front of anyone else. But as soon as she got Gretchen alone, she immediately started in on her.
The only reason Gretchen held her tongue was because of the fear she saw lurking in Leila’s eyes. She truly feared what could happen to Tony.
Tony was suddenly… very busy. He was writing speeches for other veterans who had speaking engagements. He also prepared many more of his own and delivered them. His blog had taken off and now had more than two hundred thousand followers. His daily messages and emails alone took hours to slog through. Yet he answered them all. Each and every one was painstakingly answered and/or offered some kind of help. He also hooked up more than one soldier with assistance groups or organizations that provided much needed help.
He went to his therapy appointments every Thursday and spoke with Dr. Hart, although he never really told Gretchen much about them. He just smiled and said it was going fine. Somehow, she suspected he talked about her to Dr. Hart; although she didn’t know if that was a positive or a negative.
She had an emergency appointment one day with a patient, and had to call Leila, since she was desperate for someone to pick up Olivia. Leila, although rude to her, but nice to Olivia, agreed with no arguments. When she picked up Olivia later that day, she found Tony again shooting hoops with her.
Olivia ran in to get her things while Tony kissed Gretchen, letting his hand linger on her butt. He was far more demonstrative with her than she would have ever guessed. He turned back to bouncing the ball. “I don’t see why she can’t just come here after school regularly. Sitting in your office isn’t very much fun for her. A kid like her needs to be outside playing, or at the very least, eating cookies with my mom.”
Was Tony really volunteering to watch a little girl he had no relationship or responsibility to? “You want Olivia to come here after school?” Gretchen repeated it as if she didn’t comprehend English.
Tony shrugged as he bounced the ball. “It makes sense. She likes my mom. She likes me. So why not?”
Gretchen could think of about fifty reasons why not. The first was that he made sure to let her know he would not be a fill-in father figure to the little girl she was adopting. Second, he was a surly, rude, one-armed vet who only recently came out of his parents’ basement to try to embrace a new life. Third, he liked very few people and interacted with even less… Why would he want this little girl to come there every afternoon now and hang out? Why did Tony even care if Olivia was happy at Gretchen’s office or not?
Gretchen’s heart crumbled right then and there. Tony just kept sinking the basketball and didn’t seem to comprehend the magnitude of what he just proposed. It was not only for Gretchen and Olivia, but also for himself. That was a huge step forward.
She cleared her throat, trying to conceal how choked up she suddenly became. “Uh, yeah. That would be wonderful. I mean it. I know my office isn’t the best answer. But Helen and I always agreed that daycare was not for her either. So… you and your mother? Yes. I would be eternally grateful.”
The basketball went into the hoop. He turned to kiss her cheek as Olivia ran up and threw her stuff into the car. She yelled goodbye to Tony and he just waved and said, “It’s no big deal. We’ll just plan on it. Have her take the bus here, instead of going to your office.”
Gretchen felt a little dizzy, almost like she just stepped off a roller coaster. “Okay, I’ll arrange it for tomorrow forward.”
It was about the biggest hurdle for Tony emotionally she could think of. He put someone else’s needs before his own. Someone he didn’t have to care about or owed anything to. So it was a big deal. But she kept that tidbit to herself… along with her hope of what this crucial step might mean. Maybe someday, Tony could contemplate dating a woman with an adopted kid.
****
“Will you come with me somewhere?”
Gretchen paused from cutting vegetables and set the knife down. “You know I will. But where?”
Tony stared down at his fingers, drumming the countertop. “Uh, I was thinking of going to see Audrey. Dr. Hart thinks it would be good to, I don’t know, apologize or something. I mean, you suggested that before. You mental health people seem big on closure. I thought maybe I should do it. You know… get some closure.”
Her heart lodged in her throat. He was changing by the day. Hearing him instigate this had her gripping the edge of the counter to avoid catapulting over it and wrapping him up in her arms with unbridled excitement. It was a huge breakthrough. Instead, she merely nodded and picked the knife back up. “Sure. I’ll go. When? This weekend? I have Olivia Friday, so it’ll have be Saturday afternoon.”
“Yeah, that’ll work.”
He swiveled on the stool, avoiding her gaze. Her heart squeezed as he got up and walked down the hallway.
When Saturday came, she picked him up. He wore jeans and his hair was tidier than usual. He slid into the car, leaning across the console to kiss her. He was much nicer as a boyfriend than she ever pictured him to be. He kissed her hello and goodbye. He touched her only with affection. He thanked her for anything she did for him. He called her. He specifically made plans to see her. He watched her little girl every single afternoon, usually playing basketball with her, or helping her with her homework. He was… entirely
not
the man she thought he’d be.
He was quiet on the ride, but unlike months before, there was no discomfort. He stared out the window, obviously lost in thought. He did that too sometimes. He could be very quiet. Very guarded. But the minute she asked him something, or tried to engage him, he turned towards her and gave her his full attention as he spoke to her.
They pulled into the driveway of the address that Gretchen already admitted she had. He looked at her funny when she explained how long she’d been sitting on Audrey’s address and information.
“What possessed you to get that?”
“I don’t know. I just… wanted it. I wanted to speak with her. I wanted information about you. I didn’t think you’d tell me.”
“Why didn’t you ever contact her? Most women I know would have.”
She shrugged. “I told you, I’m not good at game-playing.”
He touched her chin and kissed her. “I really appreciate that about you.”
Now, however, they just sat in silence in front of the house of his ex-fiancée. Her stomach jumped with nerves. “Should we go up to the door?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
She hung back and to the side of Tony. The woman who answered the door was quite pretty and wholesome and young. She looked right past Gretchen as soon as she spotted Tony. Her mouth slowly dropped open as she lowered her phone from her ear and hung up. She smoothed her hand down her jeans and her eyes went round with curiosity. “Tony? Wh-what are you doing here?”
Tony cleared his throat and glanced at Gretchen, his discomfort suddenly very evident. She nodded at him for encouragement. “I, uh, wondered if I could buy you a coffee?”