Texts from Jane Eyre (15 page)

Daisy Miller

Part II

 hi Daisy 

 hi 

 so I feel like I have to tell you something
normally I wouldn’t say anything but I feel like
 we’re friends now

 how kind of you 

 anyhow I just thought you should know
that there’s someone in Vevey going around impersonating you
 some sort of…coquette

 coquette? 

 what I mean is
last night Mrs. Sanders saw someone dressed just like you
having dinner
 in a restaurant

 is that all? 

 a restaurant with MALE waiters 

 oh 

 naturally I told her it couldn’t have been you
and that you’d sooner commit suicide
 than eat dinner off a plate a male stranger had touched

 that’s very kind of you
 
but I’m afraid it must have been me she saw

 oh 

 you know in New York we eat dinner from all kinds of waiters
 
all the time

 oh my god
how fun for you
New York sounds just
it just sounds
 talk later

 bye then 

 byyyye 

Les Misérables

 where are you? 

 I am so there
this barricade is going to be an absolute HAPPENING you guys
don’t start without me
 i am on my way in like five minutes

 Marius
I’m concerned that you don’t really understand
 
the reason for our movement

 oh my god
 what do you mean

 I sometimes question your commitment to the cause 

 how could you possibly even question that 

 I don’t know, Marius
maybe it’s because you have missed every one of
our clashes with the police
 
because you were still studying for the bar

 to bring down the system from within! 

 Marius
your father is a baron
 
He’s an actual baron

 well
 only a Napoleonic baron

 that’s still a baron 

 well when you say it like that 

 how did i say it 

 i don’t know
 it’s just how you said it

 are you coming or not? 

 i’m definitely so much coming for sure 

 quick question
 can i bring my girlfriend

 oh my god 

 she’s totally into barricades
it’ll be great
you’ll love her
her dad was in jail so
she totally gets it if you know what i mean
like THE STRUGGLES
wait or he’s a cop
I can’t remember
he definitely has been to a jail
either as a cop or a jail guy
haha prisoner
“jail guy”
ANYHOW
on my way rn
 oh hold up do you guys want me to bring anything??

 Marius
could you
in your own words
explain what we are fighting for, do you think?
 
just as a favor to me

 haha what a goofy question
ya goof
 for the REVOLUTION

 yes exactly
but could you list for me
one or two of the revolution’s goals
 
or aims

 to
 rise up

 right right
that is in a broad sense the goal of all revolutions
 
can you be even the slightest bit more specific

 um
the right to work
no
the right to stop working
nobody has too many jobs
something about jobs
annnd voting??
it’s the Huguenots
no
ugghh um um um
there’s too much bread
 everyone’s sick of bread

 oh my god 

 Napoleon’s back
Napoleon took everyone’s bread
 I swear to god I so know this

 marius where are you
 
i am at the barricade with your note

 sorry new phone who is this 

 it’s eponine 

 ohhhhh heyy babe
i’m out rn
buying bracelets for cosette
 so i can’t really talk

 ah 

 can you just hang tight there for a while 

 if i can find shelter from the bullets 

 awesome
hey which bracelet do you think cosette would like better
the one with diamonds
 or the one with diamonds PLUS rubies

 hey babe
cosette
 babe

 hi
 

 what does your dad do
like
 for jail

 what? 

 i mean like
your dad was in jail right
 he’s like a revolutionary or a murderer or something

 no 

 shit
 i guess that was someone else

 someone else? 

 oh my god babe not like that
 i just mean someone else’s dad must have gone to jail

 he did go to jail 

 oh right on
right on
 that’s right on for sure

 but not for murder 

 oh awesome
my parents will be so relieved
Enjolras will be bummed though
oh babe while i have you
would you rather honeymoon on the Riviera
 or just like, hot-air balloon around the world

 I hadn’t thought about it 

 should we make any decisions before the revolution?
mmm probably not
let’s just say PROBABLY hot-air balloon around the world
but see what happens first
w/r/t revolutions
 topple that damned Louis XVI!!!

 that already happened 

 what 

 we already toppled Louis XVI
in the first revolution
 
in the 1700s

 wait so do we not do a king anymore like at all 

 there’s a different king now 

 what’s his name 

 Louis-Philippe 

 oh my god how many guys named Louis are there
no wonder there’s a revolution
OH
babe
do you want to come to the revolution with me??
it might be lame but we can bail whenever
and there’s something going on after I know about
so we can just stop by
 if we want

A Tale of Two Cities

 Dr. Manette
They’ve taken him
they’ve taken him and I don’t
 
know where he’s gone

 Taken whom, my dear 

 Charles
Charles, of course
He’s in the Bastille
the things they’re saying about him
they’re terrible
what are we going to do, what will we do
 
we’ve got to save him

 Don’t you worry little one
I know just what to do
 I’m going to make shoes

Rudyard Kipling

 i’m bored
 let’s go shoot something

 okay
 
What

 i don’t care
a tiger
 or a Boer

 what was that last one? 

 I mean a bear 

 oh
 
Okay

 haha must have been a weird typo
it’s illegal to hunt men
 but exhilarating

 what? 

 i said it was illegal
and also
execrable
 execrable was the second word i said

Daisy Miller

Part III

 Daisy
there’s a castle just up the hill I want you to see
it’s absolutely beautiful this time of year
please say you’ll come
 we’ll walk the ramparts together and find lilac growing in the walls

 oh how lovely
 
I’d be so pleased to come

 oh my god
you were really going to do it
 you were going to go to a castle alone with me

 I don’t understand 

 you wouldn’t
 you slut