Texts from Jane Eyre (6 page)

 JOHN
JOHN
DID YOU KNOW
THEY MAKE COCAINE
 THAT YOU CAN SMOKE

 good god Sherlock where have you been 

 you can just smoke it
 it’s incredible

 tell me where you are and I’ll come get you 

 they call it crack and it’s marvelous 

 just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you 

 I’M NEVER LEAVING
 do you have any idea how much cocaine they have here

 I imagine quite a lot 

 QUITE A LOT
you can bring me my violin if you want
 and my hat

 do you want anything else? 

 no
just the violin and my hat and a big old mess of cocaine
 that’s all I need

 what about the mystery 

 hang all mysteries
the only mystery I want to solve
is how much cocaine I can fit in my face
the mystery of how much face cocaine I can have
 that’s the mystery for me

Emily Dickinson

 I saw –
Today –
 a Cricket Man,

 okay 

 he did not stop to Chat — 

 is that it
 
did anything else happen

 No – 

 let’s go out tonight okay
we don’t have to do anything big but I think we should go out
just for dinner or something
 
I think that would be a good idea

 Go out, Again? -
 I went Out to Mount Holyoke

 for college
 
you went there for college thirteen years ago

 And now I must rest. 

 have you seen –
 my Shawl

 which shawl 

 the White shawl 

 I thought you were wearing your white shawl 

 a person can have more than one white Shawl
 a person cannot be content with but one white Shawl

 i think i saw it downstairs 

 Alas 

 just on the couch 

 You know I do not go downed Stairs
 I will knit a new one

 that’s ridiculous 

 when I die
I wish to be buried in that Shawl
 I wish to be buried — in ten Thousand Shawls –

 you’re not dying
 
you’re just afraid of the stairs

 No Coward Soul Is Mine
 I fear no Step’d Floor

 do you want me to just bring it to you 

 if you are already going to be coming Upstairs
will you also grab my slippers by the Door
 and also –

 yes? 

 some — Tea 

 okay 

 also there are four more Shawls on the stairs
 bring those too

 A narrow Fellow in the Grass
 Occasionally rides —

 do you mean Harris?
 
the caretaker?

 You may have met Him — 

 That’s Harris 

 His notice sudden is — 

 have you been hiding in the yard again? 

 he is snakes 

 He is not snakes 

 he is definitely Snakes 

 you know it scares the maids when you hide in the yard 

 A Burdock – clawed my Gown 

 Emily 

 A Bird came down the Walk
 A Rat Surrendered here

 Emily none of this is true 

 Fame is a Bee 

 I can see you from the window
 
nothing’s clawing at you or surrendering

 a soft Sea is washing around the house
 I haven’t told the Garden yet

 Emily why don’t you come inside 

 A Toad can die of Light, you know 

 I know
why don’t you come inside
 
I’ll get your white shawl

 which white Shawl 

 whichever one you want 

 I want the one in the library 

 okay
 
will you come inside then?

 Toads can die of light you know 

 I believe you 

 Kills them right up 

 Emily
Emily, dearest
will you please let me in?
 
I just want to air out your room

 Air has no Residence
 no Neighbor

 Emily, it’s been an awfully long time since you came out
 
can I please come in?

 not — Now – 

 When can I come in? 

 After a hundred years 

 Emily
 
will you give me a real amount of time, please?

 After all Birds have been investigated and laid aside 

 do you have birds in there? 

 After the Sun comes out 

 Emily
 
answer the question

 At Half past Three 

 how many birds are in there 

 A single Bird 

 this is why people don’t visit us
 
the bird thing

 Back from the cordial Grave I dragged him 

 is the bird still alive, Emily? 

 do you know what the Best witchcraft is? 

 Emily 

 Geometry 

 just tell me if the bird is still alive 

 COCOONS ABOVE
 COCOONS BELOW

 I’m coming in 

 COCOONS 

Oliver Twist

 please madam
it being Christmas and all
might I
if you would not object
might I be allowed to eat the cheese the rats have
 left behind in the traps?

 the rat-cheese?
you impertinent boy
that’s the most important cheese of all
and later tonight
for asking the matron a question on a Sunday
 
I shall have you soundly killed

 I understand 

 after you are killed I shall expect you to scrub the stairs 

 yes ma’am 

 then you shall clean out the grease-pans and report back
to Chumsley Fezzlethroat
 
and he shall kill you again before bed

 does this mean i shan’t have to sweep out the chimneys
 with my own hair tonight ma’am

 how dare you ask such a question
you dreadful, grimy boy
of course your head will be used to sweep out the chimneys
 
now go stand out in the rain until you have melted

 yes ma’am 

 and no supper until you are thirty-five 

 yes ma’am 

 and after that the sixth-form boys will seize you about the ankles
and dip you into the electric loom at the mill
 
until you are torn to shreds

 yes ma’am 

 then the shreds will be sent to work for a family of twelve
in Coventry
the family lives in an old boot
and you shall have to keep the boot spotlessly clean
and if I hear that any of your shreds have displeased
the household I shall ride a sledge of furious dogs
into your bedroom and read the book of Lamentations
aloud until you have been eaten alive
 
by the furious dogs

 yes ma’am 

 Merry Christmas to you, then
 
run along, you little scamp

 Merry Christmas, matron 

 I spoil you, you know
I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it
 
my heart’s too easily touched

 yes ma’am
 thank you ma’am

Lord Byron

 uuuuuugghhhh my life 

 what is it?
 
what’s wrong?

 uuuuuuuugh 

 is there something specific that’s the matter?
 
or anything I can do to help?

 uuuugh
 my liiiiife

 do you want me to come over? 

 uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughghghghhhhh 

 oh my god 

 what 

 this guy
this publisher guy
is asking me about my favorite canto in Child Harolde
that’s like asking someone to pick who’s hotter
his half-sister or his cousins
 it’s literally impossible