Texts from Jane Eyre (17 page)

 I told you they hated me
 I told you I could hear their voices dying with a dying fall

 I don’t think they hate you
 
I just think they were surprised to see you dressed like that

 They’ve always hated me 

 I just don’t think they were expecting you to come in shouting
 
“I am Lazarus, come from the dead, come back to tell you all”

 well I’m sorry
I’m sorry I’m not Prince Hamlet or whatever
 Sorry to be an easy tool

 No one thinks you’re a tool
 
It’s just a weird thing to do at a dinner party

 what are you doing
 like right now

 working 

 good good
that’s good
 do you think I should eat a peach

 what
 
right now?

 yeah 

 do you want to eat a peach? 

 idk
 yeah

 then you should eat a peach 

 yeah
 could you give me a ride?

 right now? 

 yeah 

 i’m at work 

 i know 

 where do you need a ride to? 

 the store 

 what store 

 i need a peach 

 can it wait? 

 not really
there’s like
a bunch of mermaids here
 and they definitely hate me

 I don’t know where that is 

 can we go back to that oyster restaurant
 maybe they have peaches

 I can’t leave work to go buy you a peach right now 

 that’s okay
that’s fine
the mermaids keep singing about drowning me
 but I’ll probably be fine

 okay
okay
 
tell me where you are and I’ll come get you

 awesome
 and then we can go get peaches?

 yes
 
we can go get peaches

 okay 

 I’ll be there in fifteen minutes 

 do you think I would look good with rolled trousers
like if I rolled up the cuffs
 I think they would make my legs look less skinny

 I don’t know
 
Probably

 actually
 I don’t know if I want a peach anymore

 oh my god 

 buuutttt
you should still come get me
 let’s go out somewhere

Virginia Woolf

 OH MY GOD MOM
WHAT DID I SAY I NEED TO WRITE FICTION
I NEEDED MONEY AND I NEED A ROOM OF MY OWN
NOT A ROOM YOU COME INTO WHEN I’M GONE AND CLEAN UP
AND REARRANGE EVERYTHING AND GO THROUGH MY STUFF
THIS IS MY ROOM
STAY OUT
I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN READING MY JOURNALS
UNDER THE GUISE OF “TIDYING UP”
SO GUESS WHAT
MY FICTION IS THAT YOU’RE AN UTTER BITCH
 TIDY THAT UP

William Faulkner

 you know what would be nice 

 what 

 if you could just ravel out into time
that would be nice
it would be nice if you could just
 ravel out into time

 i guess that could be nice 

 but first you have to get ready to stay dead a long time 

 well 

 that’s all that living is really 

 i guess technically 

 lets start now
ill go first
im a seed in the earth
you go next
(get ready to be dead)
 (be a wet seed wild in the hot blind earth)

 I
 
okay

 youre not very good at this game 

 i guess not
 
sorry

 its ok
my mother is a fish
and im a lot older than a lot of people who have died
and any live man is better than any dead man
but no live or dead man is much better than any other live
or dead man
 so i understand

 oh that’s
 
that’s good

 hey i got you something 

 oh
you did?
 
Oh

 i give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire 

 wow 

 not that you will remember time but that you might forget it
 now and then

 sure
sure
 
I can see how that would be a good thing

 i knew youd like it :) 

 do you know what i hate 

 no
 
what do you hate

 clocks 

 oh
 
how come

 father said clocks slay time
time is dead as long as its being clicked off
by those little wheels
 thats how they killed Christ you know

 little wheels? 

 yep
 yep yep yep

 i lost a cow once 

 did you? 

 it was terrible
 i loved that cow

 im sorry to hear that 

 it owed me forty years of back taxes too
 if i ever find her i’ll kill her

Daisy Miller

Part VI

 look have you seen Daisy
 I need to talk to her

 oh my god
 
you haven’t heard

 heard what 

 that Daisy diiiied 

 what 

 yes 

 nooo 

 yesssss 

 oh my god
 what happened

 she went for a walk outside
with an Italian
at night
 
under the MOON

 oh god of course 

 so
you know
obviously
 
that killed her

 that’d kill anybody 

 i know
 
it especially killed her

Peter Pan

 Hey 

 hey! 

 me and the guys are renting a yacht and heading to
Croatia for this open-air festival
 want to come??

 oh are you guys still doing that? 

 well its not like a rental but we know a guy who says we can
 use his boat and he’s super cool

 when are you leaving? 

 mmm idk lemme check 

 okay 

 oh also
we don’t have any sleeping space left on the yacht
but we’re just gonna take peyote the whole way there so you won’t even need a bed
just art
 you know?

 how long does it take to sail to Croatia 

 haha omg
holy shit
so i just talked to Dan and we’re like
 halfway there already i guess

 you guys already left? 

 haha i know right
that’s so fucked up
i don’t even remember leaving
we’re like
 somewhere in the fucking ocean right now

 wow 

 u should come over 

 come over to the ocean? 

 hell yes
hell yes come to the ocean
it’s gonna be amazing
oh and when you come can you bring food and also money for food
and also some money for tickets?
 i didnt bring any of my stuff with me

 where are you in the ocean? 

 ahh i gotta go they’re opening the keg
 see u sooooooon

 ahh, Peter
Peter, my old friend Peter
you’ve come back to see me at last
 
I fear I have grown a great deal since the last time we met

 oh ahhh sorry did i wake u up 

 I am a woman now, and an old woman at that 

 im literally not even here ok
i just like
you said to come by if i ever needed anything
 and i just needed to borrow some money for a thing

 Well, of course, Peter
anything you need
 
I’ll get my pocketbook

 oh no dont worry i already
 its fine ive got what i need

 come into the drawing room and talk with me a while, Peter 

 um
 is your skin still doing that folding thing

 I am old
 
I have wrinkles now

 yeah haha
ew
to be super honest hospitals freak me out
 so i don’t think i can stay real long