Take it Deep (Take 2) (19 page)

“Ana, please don’t cry.  I want to kiss away the tears and take the pain away.  Please let me take the pain away.” 

His words rip at my heart and the need for him becomes too much. 

“Jake, please make love to me.” 

He pushes himself in and I gasp knowing it’s been so long since I had him inside me.  He stays for a moment, his beautiful
cock still, and beating in my wanton, hot pussy. 

“Ana, you’re so beautiful. I want to give you the stars.”
 

He kisses my mouth again and starts moving.  I instantly cry out as the feeling is so exquisite, it’s almost painful.
 

“I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed being inside you and the way you feel.  I miss the sounds you make when I make love to you.  I miss being near you, having you close.  I’ve missed everything about you.” 

His loving words and the feel of him inside me, I know is going to push me over the edge soon.  The way he slides himself into me with each stroke is almost like eating chocolate when you’ve been away from it for so long.  With each piece it’s one delicious bite after another, filling the craving you been longing for, for so long.  My senses are hyper aware as I feel every single part of his skin on mine.  The way he moves up and down on me with each heavenly thrust. 

“Jake,” I cry as it is the only thing I can say as my body climbs and climbs.

He feels me getting close and so ups his pace a little.  My legs go rigid and the tingles are all over my body and swimming in my head, until I see the beautiful stars I’ve been longing to reach for so long. 

My hands grip on Jake’s bottom pulling him into me harder with each thrust. 

“Ana,” Jake cries and that’s enough for me to explode. 

I scream out his name coming over and over, and my pussy
acts as a suction on his cock, pulling him deeper and deeper into me.  Jake goes faster and I know it’s not going to be long before he’s right there with me. 

“Ana,” he grunts as he releases his beautiful come inside me.  After a few more thrusts he collapses on top of me, both of us panting and sweaty.
 

We lay with each other for a while, none of us saying anything as there is nothing that needs to be said. 

We take time stroking each other for what seemed like hours before I could hear the familiar deep breathing sounds from Jake.  He is
fast asleep. 

I watch him for a while taking in his beauty.  He looks so serene when he’s asleep, like there is no care in the world.  What I wouldn’t give to have that kind of serenity throughout my days.  I smile taking in every single molecule of his features, thinking how much I loved this man, it hurt.  An unwelcome stab of pain hit
s me as I realized just how terrified I felt at that moment.  The fear gripped me worse than any moment I had with Tony when he abducted me and tried to kill me on that unforgettable day. 

For some reason I found myself off the bed
, frantically trying to get dressed.  I checked my pocket and found I still had my key card, and very quietly headed for the door.  I turned my head to look at Jake one last time and timidly shut the door on my way out. 

By the time I got to my room I was
in bits.  I went through the motions taking my make-up off and washing and brushing my teeth, but I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion.  Every part of the hotel now was deathly quiet—so quiet it almost felt like I was the only one there.  It was the loneliest feeling in the world. 

I checked the alarm clock on the nightstand and it
read, 03:24.  No wonder it was so quiet around, I didn’t realize it was so late.  I climbed into bed welcoming how good the sheets felt against my skin and quickly fell into a coma.

Chapter 18

I woke to the sound of the phone ringing.  I moaned and pulled my hand out of the covers to answer.  “Yeah,” was all I could manage. 

“Ana, I didn’t think you’d be there.  I haven’t disturb
ed you and Jake have I?” 

It was Jessie and her delightful morning voice that I came to loathe first thing.  She was definitely a morning person and I hate mornings. 

Her words didn’t sink in straight away, but the events that took place last night suddenly bolt through my mind.  My heart constricted.  “He’s not here,” was all I could manage. 

Jessie sighed, “What do you mean h
e’s not there?  Hold on a sec, I’m coming down.” 

I was about to protest when she hung up.  I really couldn’t deal with this first thing in the morning.  I know she isn’t going to be pleased with me and t
he thought made my head pound.

I didn’t drink a lot last night, but I suddenly felt very
hung-over.  I sat up looking at the clock and it was a little after nine.  I moaned as my feet found its way to the mini bar.  I pulled out an orange juice and took a swig.  The feeling of the cold running down my throat was just the ticket to wake me up a bit.  The bliss of it didn’t last very long when the sound of a very unhappy Jessie is pounding on my door. 

I answer, and she’s standing
there, hands on hips before she barges past me into the room.  Oh shit, I’ve really pissed her off. 

“Well, come on, tell me?  Why aren’t you and Jake back together and loving each other up this morning?  What happened when he whisked you away last night, you just dran
k hot chocolate together and made small talk?” 

I sit on the bed suddenly feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders.  “It wasn’t like that.”  She sits with me searching my eyes and her voice softens.
 

“Then what was it like?  T
ell me?” 

I explained to her what happened after he left and her face looked stunned. 

“I don’t understand, Ana.  He’s your forever, isn’t he?” 

I try not to let it take over but my heart gives in letting the tears flow.  I nod my head and Jessie takes
me in her arms.  I suddenly felt worse as Jessie was being so nice to me when all I was expecting was a fight. 

“Why don’t you let
your heart tell your head what it wants and give in?  I know what Jake did was bad, but I have no doubt in this world that he won’t spend the rest of his life regretting what happened and trying to make it up to you.” 

She grabs a tissue and wipes my eyes for me
, waiting for my answer. 

“What if he hurts me again Jessie?  What if something else comes up between us and he pushes me away again
, just like last time?  I don’t think I could take that.  I honestly don’t know what I’d do if he rejected me like that again.  I don’t think I would ever recover.” 

She wipes more tears from my face and sighs.
  “Is that how you really feel?  You think he’s going to do it again to you?” 

I nod my head
, “Yes,” I sob. 

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry.  You’re obviously hurting more than I
realized and nowhere near being able to forgive and forget about what happened.  I’ve fucked up and I can only apologize.” 

I look at her for answers, “What do you mean?” 

Her eyes downcast she speaks, “I called Jake last night and asked him to come.  When I saw the look on your face when Jerry and I kissed it was like agony for me.  I only did what I thought a true friend should do, so when I left you all at the table together, I went to the restroom and called him.  I told him that you were miserable without him and that if he hopped in his car right then and got here, that I would near enough guarantee you’d be in his arms by the end of the night.  I was right about one thing, but I completely messed up.  You should have heard the hope in his voice.  I have no doubt that he didn’t grab his keys and head for the door the moment he put the phone down.  And now I’ve gone and fucked up, hurting the pair of you.  I’ve turned what should have been the best night of your life into the worst nightmare for you, and I feel like shit because of it.” 

I should have been angry at her but I wasn’t.  She was my best friend and was only doing what she thought was best for me. 

“Jessie, last night was perfect in every way.  I couldn’t have pulled a better night for anyone myself.  You have no reason to feel guilty.  I couldn’t hate you for that.”

The mood all morning was indescribable.  I was miserable as sin and it wasn’t long before I was in the same depression I felt after I first left Jake.

I made up some time after getting
ready to write a note to Luca—the lovely, dangerous gentleman who bought me champagne.  I didn’t care whether he was dangerous or not, I wasn’t going to leave without even a thank you.

I wrote the note on checking out and ran
to Jessie’s car as fast as my legs could carry me.  I did offer to drive as she was the one who drove down here.  She could tell I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, so declined my offer.

She let me be alone in my thoughts the whole journey home and I appreciated her for that.  I know I was wallowing in self-pity again, but I couldn’t help it.  I felt as lonely as hell
and a part of me was wondering whether I had done the right thing.  Jake was the one in the wrong and now I’ve made him suffer for it.  Big time.  I didn’t wish that on him at all, I would never really want to truly hurt Jake intentionally.  I was fucking up like nothing else unintentionally though.  I felt raw and disgusted with myself for giving in last night.  The timing couldn’t have been as perfect as it was, him turning up at that precise point that song came on.  It gave me butterflies in my stomach thinking about what happened between us.  It would be so easy to give in and ask to be his again, but the thought scared the hell out of me.  What if I let my walls down again, and again he hurts me?  I know I’m vulnerable and I know I’m insecure, but I can’t help the way I feel.

Once we get back to Fairfax, I’m exhausted.  I thank Jessie profusely again and make my excuses to get into bed.  I must have cried for hours before my body gave in to sleep.  I never heard a thing from Jake, but how could I blame him for that?  He chased me and pursued me relentlessly and this is how I repaid him.

My mind was restless in sleep.  I must have dreamed over and over again about last night.  It was like my mind was trying to re-enact what happened, taking note of more and more detail about our love making.  I didn’t even
realize I was sobbing until I heard Jessie’s voice.

“Ana, baby, you’re dreaming, wake up.  Ana, it’s only a
dream; he’s not here to harm you.  I swear.”

I grab at Jessie, clutching onto her arms.  She strokes my hair as I sob painfully into her shoulder.  I feel like someone is stabbing me multiple times in the stomach, the pain is
so excruciating and nauseous.

“I wasn’t dreaming about him,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Oh, Ana, I can’t stand to see you like this, it breaks my heart.  I wish you weren’t so insecure about your feelings for Jake, but I’m here for you.  I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.  I’m your number one fan,” She says creepily.

I start laughing through my sobs.  She always knows the right things to say, even in the worst circumstances.

“It’s almost six
, do you want me to make you some coffee, or do you want to try and get some more sleep?”

“Don’t you want to go back to bed?  I feel terrible waking you.”

“That’s okay, I was awake anyway.  I was about to make myself some coffee when I heard you.”

“Thanks
, Jessie, coffee would be great right about now.”

The rest of the day was hard; being back to square one was not a good feeling.  My mind constantly raced along with my heart.  Every time the phone rang or a text was heard, I jumped.  Of course none of the calls or texts were from Jake, they were all for Jessie.  She and Jerry were very much in love, so of course they were going to be constantly calling and texting each other.  I just wished I wasn’t so self-involved to make the effort to be glad for her.  I felt so selfish and the more I felt that way, the crappier I felt.

I wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow at all.  I was going to have to face Jake again and I didn’t know how I was going to be able to do it after what I had done.  He’s going to despise me now
and who could blame him.

Chapter 19

I get into work with Jessie and I feel sick with nerves.  I place all my belongings on my desk, spying a few people staring at me.  I spot Tom and he comes over with a big grin.

“Great night Saturday
, Ana and it would seem you did, too.  What have you done with him?”

“Excuse me,” I say confused.

“Mr Bennett, he’s not here.  Have you exhausted him that much that he’s still in bed?”

I look toward Jessie and she shrugs her shoulders.  I started to panic a little.  I had a bad feeling in my stomach and the o
nly way to find out if he’s okay was to call Matthew.

I tell Tom and Jessie I have to make a call rummaging through my bag to grab my phone.  My heart nearly stopped when I saw a text message from Matthew wondering if his dad had stayed with me since Saturday night.
  All my panic buttons were pressed at this point and I started frantically dialling Jake’s number over and over again about twenty times before I gave up.