Take it Deep (Take 2) (22 page)

I had to tell myself to calm down.  It might be nothing.   I had
been on the pill so long, how did I know what my periods would be like normally.  All this business with Alan yesterday, and me drinking the night before had just taken its toll on my body, that’s all.

I kept drilling that into my head
, even once Jessie was back handing me the pregnancy test.  She pointed to the bathroom and I must have given her a certain look, as her shoulders relaxed smiling. 

“Whatever happens, I’m here for you ok
ay?  But you have to find out, Ana.  There’s no other way.  If you’re not, you move on with your life, but if you are, I’ll be with you every step of the way.  I promise.”

I move in for a hug thanking her before retreating into the bathroom.  It felt like an age sitting there waiting for the results.  I quickly retreat from the door and take a seat beside Jessie in the living room.

“Jessie, you go and take a look for me please, I can’t do it.”  Panic was tearing at my insides.  I had to know, but at the same time I didn’t want to know.  Lord knows this is a can of worms I couldn’t deal with right now.  Why couldn’t my life be simpler than this?  One day I get attacked by an egotistical maniac and then the next, I’m sitting in a living room waiting for my pregnancy results.  Life couldn’t get much better than this!

Jessie rises from her seat and walks into the bathroom.  She comes out holding the little stick and I can’t gage
her reaction.  She’s giving nothing away making me jealous of her straight poker face.

She sighs turning over the stick.  “Looks like you’re going to be a mom
.”

I look at the two
pink lines feeling the shock of this worse than what happened yesterday.  It was all too consuming.

“When are you going to tell
, Jake… oh shit, was it that night in the hotel?” she asks.

I quickly nod
my head as it was the only time Jake and I had been together intimately since my period.

“Oh shit, I got you knocked up
, didn’t I?”  She starts laughing, but the situation is far from funny.

“Jessie, this is a catastrophe.   Do you know how pissed Jake is going to be when he finds out?  He made this big thing about wearing condoms all his life because of what happened with Matthew
, and now I’ve gone and fucked it all up.  He put his trust in me that I was on the pill, and now look what I’ve done.  Oh God, what am I going to do?”

“Well, you can always have an abortion.”

“Jessie, hell no.  Never!” I protest.

“Well, that’s settled then.  You’re going to be a mother
, like it or not.”

I know what she says is true, the baby’s coming and there is nothing I can do a
bout it.  This situation just puts me back to where I started.  How can I go to Jake now after finding this out?  I couldn’t do that to him.

“So, when are you telling Jake?  You have to
tell him at some point.  I hate to tell you, but in about three more months it will be a lot harder to hide.”

I sigh, “I know, I just need a little time.”

“Ana, always with the time.  How much time do you need?”

“I need to get my head wrapped around this
, Jessie.  I’ve only known about the baby in the last few minutes.  Give me a break.”

She winces, “Sorry.  I didn’t mean it to sound as harsh as it did.  You do whatever it is you feel you have to.  I won’t back down on my word.  I’m here for you
, no matter what.”

I was grateful for that.  “Thanks
, Jessie.”

“Listen, I was going to hit the gym.  You’re welcome to come with me as long as you take it easy.  Jerry’s out with a client today and I’m meeting him later tonight.  He’s taking me to a fancy restaurant in DC.”

“Wow, sounds awesome.  I’ll be fine, you go ahead.  I think I’ll go shopping and clear my head.”  Maybe I need to buy some shoes again.  It worked for me last time.

Jessie heads off after having a little bit of what she cooked earlier
.  I just nibbled on some toast as I still felt shitty as hell.

When I was
ready, I went to Tyson’s, trailing through the shops.  My mind wasn’t really in it.  I was going through the motions trying to think about what was happening to me and what this would mean for Jake and I.

I was coming out of a clothes store when I spotted Jerry linking arms with a blonde woman.  She looked a little younger than him, about my age.  She laughed at something he said
, and he pulled her in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  I stood there fuming.  This looked more to me than a client, the little shit. 

I saw him clasping on
to a jewelry bag and that was it.  My feet went stomping towards him before my brain could engage.  He saw me coming and smiled.

“Ana, hi, how are you?”

“Don’t Ana hi me, Mr Show Me The bleedin Money.  What do you think you’re doing?”

“Jerry, who is this?”
  The blonde lady asked.

“Yeah Jerry, care to explain who I am to the lady?”
  He can see how upset I am and tries to calm the situation.

“Ana, there’s been a misunderstanding.  This is my sister
, Jessica.  Jessica; this is Ana, Jessie’s best friend.”

Oh shit, could the floor swallow me up now?  “I’m so sorry, it’s just that Jessie said you were out with a client and then I see you here looking intimate with another woman and I just put two and two together.”

“That’s okay dear, it’s easily done,” Jessica said.

She smiled
at me and I was grateful that it didn’t seem she was angry with me.

“Mr Show Me the M
oney.  I like that,” she smiled.

I laughed and
apologized again as that was all I could do.  I look at the jewelry bag again and Jerry spots me.

“My
sister here helped me out today.  I gave Jessie the client excuse to come here with Jessica. Can you keep a secret for me?  Just until tonight?”

“Sure, as long as it’s
a good one,” I winked.  I could tell it was.  I knew what he was going to say and I was over the moon for her.

“I’m planning to ask Jessie to be my wife.  I know it’s a little soon, but I love her and can’t think of a world without her in it.  I want to marry her and make he
r the happiest woman on earth.  Just like the way she makes me feel.”

I gave him a big hug telling him that he must say that to her tonight, as she will be putty in his hands.  I tell him his secret is safe with me before leaving him to be with his sister.

I make my way back home glad of the distraction from my own problems.  Jessie was going to be engaged by tonight, I was sure of it.  I couldn’t be happier for my best friend. 

I smiled all the while she was getting ready and it made her really agitated.  I loved the fact that I had one over her for a change and I clearly showed it.  She kept asking me what the hell was wr
ong with me and I kept saying, “Nothing,” and laughing.  She was mega pissed with me by the time she left for their meal.

Sure enough that night he asked her
, and sure enough she said yes.  She couldn’t wait to tell me the news before heading round to Jerry’s for lots of ‘pre-marital sex,’ as she called it.  Jessie sounded like she was walking on the clouds and she deserved every bit of her happiness.  I have no doubt that Jerry will be a good husband to her and the thought helped me sleep better that night.

Chapter 22

The next few weeks went by and it was torture.  I felt so ill and alone it was unreal.  Every morning I was sick and it didn’t stop until I slept.  A couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I went to the doctors to get the pregnancy confirmed and to have me registered with the clinic.  The doctor stuck a probe up me, which was not pleasant at all.  The only thing that took my mind off it was seeing the tiny little blinking dot of the baby’s heartbeat.  I felt enamored despite the situation I was in.  I was glad the baby seemed to be doing okay. 

I got an estimated date for the 2
nd
July and she asked me how I was feeling.  I told her that I had been terribly ill and it doesn’t seem to stop.  I had lost quite a bit of weight and felt so tired all the time, but Dr Foster said I looked and seemed healthy enough.  She suggested giving me tablets for the sickness, but I told her that I didn’t want to put anything in my body that could jeopardize the baby.  She smiled at that one, but told me that I didn’t have to suffer in silence.

The situation with Jake was getting worse.  The more the weeks wen
t on the more we seemed to be growing apart from each other.  I kept remembering what Jamal said to me about the flowers stopping—and now that they had, it frightened me to death.  We hardly said a word to one another and I knew it was all down to me that the situation had gotten this far.

In the back of my mind I still thought about Alan and what he did.  He was always going to be there in one form or another whether he is dead or not.  The nightmares had stopped and I was glad of that.  They were only replaced by Jake though
, which seemed even more torturous.

A few people went on that trip to the Bahamas but I was too sick to go.  Jessie didn’t go in the end either as Jerry couldn’t make it
, so we just planned that weekend together.  This began the craving for ice cream.  Jessie seemed more than pleased about getting me craters of the stuff if it meant I kept it down.  It was about the one thing I could, apart from maybe chocolate.

I tried to be there
for Cindy’s birthday party.  She had just turned eighteen and was as happy as ever with Matthew, which was great.  What was not great was the fact I felt so sick.  I had to make my excuses and leave early, as I didn’t know how long I could hold out before I puked, or passed out.

By the time I was eleven weeks, things seemed to be dying down a bit with the sickness.  I was finding that I was still sometimes sick in the morning, but the rest of the day went in without a hitch.  In fact, Jake was starting to look too damn irresistible to me.  I even found myself staring at him at times
fantasizing about what he could do to me.

We had a presentation one morning and I couldn’t help but drool over him the
whole time.  In mid talk he caught me playing with a pen in my mouth and he hesitated somewhat, stuttering out his next words.  I was like a horny bitch on a stick and I wanted Jake to lick me all up!  Lord knows what the hell he was talking about.  All I could do was watch every movement he made.  It was almost like I had gone deaf the whole time I was there, as nothing—apart from him being in front of me—existed.

After the presentation
, Jake called to me to stay behind as everyone went out the door.  I felt I was in trouble about something, but I didn’t know what.

“So
, what did you think about the presentation?  Do you have any thoughts?”

Oops, busted
.  “No, not at all Jake.  It was all very good.”

He didn’t stop there.  “So what part
of it did you particularly enjoy then?” he asked, smiling.

I started shifting from
one foot to the other, but all that was doing was making my pussy throb for him.  My God, I wanted him now more than ever. I know my desire for him is like nothing else, but this just seemed ten times more powerful.  I felt I was going to explode at any minute. 

I smiled
, placing a finger on my lips forgetting how much this turned him on.

“All of it
, Jake.  You’re always very good at everything you do.”  I felt I nailed it there.  I was probably way more seductive than I should have been, but hell, if he wants me now, he can fucking take me, I don’t care.

“Ana, what are you up to?”  He had this impish grin on his face as he looked across at my body.

“Is there something different about you?” he asked, thoughts ticking away in his head.

That was all it took to snap me out of it.  “No, nothing, I have to get back to work unless you wanted to talk to me about anything else?” 

He smiles noticing my indifference and shakes his head.  “No, that’s fine; I’ll speak with you another time.”

I ran out the door as fast as my legs could carry me, dragging Jessie out of her seat.

“Ana, what are you doing?”

I pulled her into the coffee room but a lady called Katie was in there
, so I dragged her to the toilets instead.  Luckily no one was here so I was able to talk.  “I need sex, Jessie... like desperately.”

She starts laughing, “
Well don’t look at me for help.  I’ve already told you, I don’t swing that way.  Besides I’ll be Mrs Maguire in a few months.”  She chirps out the last few words obviously deliriously happy at the thought.

“God
, I need a drink and I can’t drink.  Double shit with a cherry on top.”

“Just calm down
, Missy.  It’s your hormones; they’ll do that to you.  Sometimes you just can’t help it.”