Take it All (Blinded by Love) (50 page)

“I think so. He said he’s at a shelter but we didn’t talk long, his battery was low.”

“That’s good, glad he got a place to stay.”

“Yeah, but listen,” she began, “he said he’d meet me tonight–for the concert,” she said, biting her lip and hoping he wasn’t going to be mad or think that it was a bad idea to go with him.

He chuckled, and it sounded thick and raspy, like he was still half asleep, “Lennox, it’s okay. I’d never be mad or upset about that. I’m actually glad he’s following through on it,” he yawned, “it will give you guys sometime alone to talk.”

“Yeah–hey, can I run something by you?” she asked curiously, knowing Emerson knew Caleb and his addiction almost better than anyone having been through it already.

“Shoot,” he said.

“If I asked Caleb to come stay with me, here at my place for awhile, do you think... he would?” she asked unsure of the latter, but curious of what Emerson thought.

He sighed and a few moments went by before he said, “Honestly, I don’t know. I wanna say yeah but...” he trailed off.

“But?” she asked, urging him to go on.

“But, I think part of Kingston’s problem is he hasn’t hit rock bottom.”

She hated those words, rock bottom, it sounded like death–something a murderer would do to their victim by tying rocks to them and dumping their body. “What does that have to do with it; wouldn’t it be away to avoid hitting rock bottom?”

“Yeah, but I think Kingston needs to hit rock bottom. He needs to hit the bottom in order to truly want help, and he has to ask for it himself. Once that happens, I think he has a chance at kicking his habit. Right now, he knows there is always someone he can rely on, someone who will help him, someone he can con.” She heard shuffling on his line before he continued, “Believe me Lennox, I wasn’t for rock bottom until a few days ago talking to his parents.”

“Oh.”

“They know all about it, they’ve done everything they could have thought of except this and if this doesn’t work then...”

“Then?”

“I really don’t know. This will be who Kingston is I guess. I hate to agree with them but, you can’t save someone if they don’t want saving; and if he wanted it, I think he would ask for it, know what I mean?” his voice was gentle and every word was used with a delicacy so not to cut through her but something to think about instead.

“I know,” she said, rubbing her hand over her face then pulling the elastic from her hair and letting it cascade over her pillows.

“I think, tonight when you see him and you guys talk, you should take everythin’ over the past couple months into consideration then make a choice, Lennox, and I think you should walk away from him before–”

“Break up with him?” she said, not believing what he was saying.

“It could help him, if he thinks he’s losing you–”

“Emerson, no, he needs someone on his side, someone who’s not going to walk away when things get tough–he needs to know I’m here for him,” she said sharply, her voice low so no one could hear her.

He sighed, “I know, just think about it. Lay it out straight for him tonight. Tell him everythin’ on your mind, everythin’ you feel and the crossroads you’re at,” he suggested, and she could hear the shrug of his shoulders in his tone and the yawn that followed.

“I’ll think it over,” she lifted her head up, looking at the red numbers flashing seven o’clock, “I’ll let you go back to bed, thanks for talking though Em, and thanks for offering tonight.”

“Anytime, Lennox, hopefully tonight goes okay and,” he hesitated a moment, “just be careful.”

She waited for him to elaborate on what he meant by being careful but he didn’t. She didn’t know what he meant, and she didn’t ask before they said their goodbyes and disconnected. Lennox then reached over and set her cell phone on her nightstand as her eyes grew tired and heavy, only able to stay open long enough to roll over on her other side and pull her pillow close to her.

Lennox was in her bathroom getting ready for the concert when she heard a quick knock on her bedroom door before it pushed open, hearing her dad’s voice, “Chuck, you decent?”

“Yes,” she shook her head and smiled softly to herself as she walked out of her bathroom, “what’s up pops?”

“Just wanted to–are you going somewhere tonight?” he asked, taking in her outfit of short, cut off jean shorts and a purple fitted tank that had the word ‘hope’ in fancy script sideways along her ribcage with black birds flying in and around the lettering. It was an old tank that she had found earlier when she was looking for something to wear and thought it would be perfectly fitting for when she saw Caleb.

“Yeah, a concert, remember,” she said, pulling her straightened hair over to the side and over her shoulder, “why, what’s up?”

“Oh, the concert with Caleb?” he asked, smiling back at her as he shoved his hands in his faded jeans pocket. “How’s he doing by the way?”

“Yeah he bought the tickets for my birthday, well kinda,” Lennox’s lips pulled into a gentle but forced smile as she moved around her room, making herself look busy looking for her purse so she didn’t have to lie to her dad’s face when she said, “He’s doing well, I believe.”

“Good, glad to hear. Listen, reason I came up was to let you know your mom and I are headed to Banff until late Sunday afternoon.”

“Oh, why?” she asked, looking over her shoulder as she dumped her purse on her bed.

He shrugged, “Just ‘cause, you gonna be okay here alone?”

Lennox looked at her dad and rolled her eyes. “Please, I’m twenty years old; I think I can handle it, plus I’ll be getting my own place soon.” The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.

Jason’s eyebrows rose in question. “You and Caleb are talking about moving out?”

She waved it off. “I was just saying in general, but we’ve talked about it.” She went back to putting everything she dumped on her bed into a different purse, the whole time feeling her dad watching her.

“Not too soon I hope,” he said, as he moved towards her door.

“Why do you say it like that?” she asked, accusingly and looking at her dad with her brows knitted together.

He opened the door then turned to her, “I like Caleb–I do– I just…” he ran his hand over his jaw, “don’t want my daughter moving in with someone whose on the road to sobriety and so soon after he started to clean himself up. I’d like him to be at least three months sober before any talks of moving in together come up.”

Lennox looked away, guilt rolling through her as she listened to him talk about Caleb’s road to sobriety, hating that she was lying to his face but couldn’t bring herself to tell them, not yet; not until she saw him and they talked about everything. “Okay, that’s fair,” she agreed, looking up with a smile she hoped didn’t look too obvious to her lie.

Her dad nodded his head, “Okay, well–”

“Jason, we gotta go,” Kelli called up the stairs. “Bye Lennox.”

He grinned, “What she said,” he motioned with his head. “Just saying bye,” he called over his shoulder then turned to Lennox. “Have fun tonight Chuck, and be safe. We’ll see you Sunday before dinner.” He turned and walked out of her room and into the hall towards the stairs.

“Bye mom, I’ll see you guys Sunday–have fun,” she hollered as she walked into her closet and grabbed a hoodie that was hanging up on the back of her door just in case it was chilly out after the concert.

Grabbing her cell phone and purse off her bed, she proceeded downstairs then locked up before she made her way to her jeep. It was five thirty and she woke up earlier to a text from Caleb telling her to meet him a few blocks away from the coliseum, in the parking lot of an old strip mall that was now used for farmer’s markets. They would leave his car parked there and take hers so they didn’t pay twice for parking. When she climbed into her jeep, she sent Caleb a text telling him she was on her way and would see him soon, then pulled away from the curb and headed towards the strip mall.

The drive into the city didn’t take long; she left early enough that it gave her time to make it a few minutes early so she could be there before Caleb arrived. When she pulled up to the side of the building in the back, where he had told her to meet him there were a few cars parked around but none of them belonged to him. She looked at her phone and he hadn’t texted her, not when she replied to his text earlier or when she told him she was on her way, but she disregarded it and sent him another text telling him she was waiting and parked beside a black and green hummer and a red Toyota Corolla.

The minutes ticked by; each number on her dashboard clock changing slowly, flipping to the next until she had been sitting in her car waiting for him for almost fifteen minutes. The concert started in thirty minutes and they still had to get to the coliseum and find parking then make it to their seats before it started. She started to get anxious, thinking he changed his mind, that he didn’t want to see her and he was just going to not show up without a word, when suddenly the passenger door opened and Caleb hopped in the front seat, slamming the door behind him.

Startled, she jumped and her head whipped to the side; her eyes meeting his dull blue eyes that were in a wild frenzy looking at her. “You scared me,” she said, her voice sounding on edge.

“Sorry, you ready?” he asked, looking away from her and straight out the window.

That was all he said to her. No hi, or asking how she was. No hug or kiss–nothing–except a vibe that radiated off him that was full of agitation, like he didn’t want to be there, that there was somewhere else he would rather be. She felt the anger inside her begin to boil, and numb the pain that had started to roll through her.

“Yep,” she said, her lips making a popping sound as she backed out of her parking spot and peeled out of the parking lot.

He didn’t say anything to her, only sat next her with his head straight and eyes focused on the road ahead of them. From the corner of her eye she could see his head making small bobble head movements and her hand gripped the wheel tighter, causing her knuckles to turn white. “How come you were late?” she asked, unable to take the awkward silence between them any longer.

His head turned and he glanced at her, saying, “Had to take care of something. Sorry.” He watched her a few seconds then turned back, focusing on the road.

Rolling her eyes, she muttered under her breath, “I bet you did.”

“What?” he asked, looking at her with a cool stare that was so unrecognizable she almost didn’t believe it was Caleb sitting next to her.

She looked away quickly as she swallowed the small lump that formed in her throat and shook her head. “Nothing.”

The rest of the drive to the coliseum was in complete silence with the inside of her jeep full of tension and angst; all radiating off Caleb, giving her a sense of déjà vu to how he treated her last week in his room. She didn’t know what his deal was, other than being high or coming off of a high and needing another hit, but she wasn’t about to ask him in fear he’d bite her head off.

She turned into the parking lot and pulled up to a toll booth where she handed the clerk a twenty dollar bill. She proceeded through the parking lot and looked for a parking spot. Finding one near the bridge they had to walk over to get to the front doors, Lennox cut the ignition on her jeep then grabbed her purse and climbed out, slamming her door behind her. As she began walking away from her jeep towards the bridge, she heard the other door slam so she hit the lock button on her keys and set the alarm before she tossed her keys into her bag.

Turning onto the bridge, her footsteps quick against the pavement, Caleb caught up and tried to take her hand in his when she pulled her hand away and pretended she needed something from her purse. As they walked over the bridge, Lennox dug around in her purse until she found the envelope the tickets were in and pulled them out, handing Caleb his. As they made their way to the door, Caleb reached for her hand again only to have Lennox pull it away and cross her arms over her chest and ignore his questioning stare.

Lennox was a few steps away from the line to get in, when she heard Caleb grumble. “Hey,” he said, grabbing her by the top of her arm and pulling her off to the side, ignoring her protests. “What the hell’s your problem?”

She glared up at him. “
My problem
,” she hissed, the anger in her boiling and rising, “what’s
your
problem?” she snapped, ripping her arm back and crossing her arms over her chest, taking a step back.

“I don’t have a problem. You’re the one who won’t let me touch you,” he retorted, his eyes swimming with annoyance.

She took a step forward and hissed in a low voice, “You sure have a funny way of showing you don’t have a problem, you inconsiderate asshole.” The tears in her eyes blossomed to the point of falling when she pushed past him and walked towards the line, angrily wiping her tears away.

She could feel Caleb walk up behind her and stand close to her; the heat searing off him and engulfing her from head to toe. She wanted to turn and tell him she was sorry for what she said, and have him hold her and kiss her, and tell her everything was going to be okay but she couldn’t. She was upset and stubborn. She wanted him to know how much she was hurting inside just by looking at her but she didn’t think he could see anything past the toxic crap flowing through his veins; the toxic crap that was now flowing through their relationship eating away at them in different ways.