Sweet Sins (29 page)

             
Adam spoke, holding her in his arms, “I gotta’ hand it to Ashton, I’ve met some good liars before, but she—she tops them all. She’s a fascinating chick. I can’t make her out. Sometimes she appears like she’s twelve and innocent as a babe and then this crap. She’s definitely not your ordinary girl. I think she might even be stranger than me—well…maybe.”

             
“I don’t get it though, if she ever said anything like that to anyone else, my reputation and the agency could be finished. Just the thought of what she was saying makes me sick. I love her like the dearest of sisters and with all she’s done for me, this one thing she said could be the undoing of my life. What if Chris heard something like that and he thought it was true and with her sleeping over all the time? I don’t see how we could ever be friends like we were. That’s just too freaky and the worse part of it, all that stuff she says to me, “like if only you had cojones, I would marry you”, etc. I always thought that it was a little creepy but what if she meant some of it and she does kind of like me and not in a sister way.”

             
“No, don’t go thinking that. She just admires you for what you have accomplished and loves all the fun you guys have been having and just, well, she’s young and sometimes silly, that’s all it is.

             
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m not going to think about it. At least, I heard it for myself that she told Charlie what the real truth was and I don’t have to think he’s thinking all that other stuff anymore.”

             
“Arianna, you’ve got lots of eccentric and over the top personalities around here. This type of business does not attract shy, middle of the road clientele. You’re going to have to toughen up when it comes to stuff like that. People will always be saying stuff about you, you know too many people now. They’ll probably always be flying some kind of rumor or another.”

             
“I know. I know. I guess it’s just shocking that it came from her, my best bud.”

             
“I’m going home; I hope I don’t have another day like this for a long time.”

             
“See you soon, girl, take care and just wanted to say, I still love ya’.”

             
She waved to him in the parking lot, taking his sweet words with her, feeding them into her damaged heart. She was more confused now than ever. She began to believe she had no handle on how to perceive anyone’s true self. She never thought she would hear him say those words again but did not know what to read into them. It was probably because for the moment, he had a sudden impulse to feel sorry for her.

             
She was so lost in thought, she never saw him following her. When she pulled into her driveway, he was right behind her.

             
“Arianna let me spend the night with you. I need you tonight and I think you need me too.”

             
She rushed into his arms, grateful he had come to her rescue and that she could make love to and cuddle with him all night. She touched his face as if it was made of the finest silk. His hands stroking her naked flesh left her weak. Only he was the one, the only one. No matter what his faults, he made her feel the sun was shining on her when he smiled at her and that all things were right.

             
She ventured to ask him the question that lingered before them,

             
“Adam, do you ever think about coming home, I mean, home to me and the boys again?”

             
“Sometimes, but I wouldn’t want to come back and then leave again. That would screw us up both for life.”

             
Weeks passed but he never mentioned coming home again to her. There was a tension between Ashton and Arianna but it was slowly getting better. She would probably never fully understand what made Ashton say those things, but she had been so wonderful and lifesaving to her that she decided she would just have to put the incident aside.

             
It was a sticky, hot Saturday in July and after a long day of shooting, Adam and Ari went to dinner at Panda City.

             
“I’m exhausted, woman. I’m headed for an early night. I think I’m going to watch a movie with my Mum and call it a day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

             
Saddened, she managed a smile. Usually they would go back to the office and make love, sometimes he would spend the night and sometimes not but typically most Saturday’s they were together for both day and night.

             
“Thanks for your help today. I’ll miss you and be looking forward to seeing you in the morning.”

             
She was beginning to trust him again and they had been comfortable together, almost acting like a couple again. There weren’t any confrontations and neither had spoken of divorce for a long time, although that word hung in the air all the time. Sooner or later, they would either have to choose either to be together again or to end it. They couldn’t go on interminably in this limbo. He seemed more mature and settled this last month, not so restless and she hoped maybe he would come home permanently.

             
Arianna was tired also but she knew Saturday night was a promising solicitation night for Paramount Star and she knew she wouldn’t sleep anyway. After decking out in silver skins and black lace top with large rhinestone studded necklace, she drove to Treasure Island and a club called
Painted Heaven
.

             
After making her way through part of the crowd on the patio and distributing some business cards, a handsome young man asked her to dance and she accepted. The DJ was belting out Bowie singing
China Girl,
one of her favorite songs. In the main area of the club, there were four steps up to the dance floor. It was elevated so that you could almost see the entire club. As she was turning, she saw him. Instantly, a pang of hurt hurled up inside her and she went to grab the rail. She squinted and looked again, wishing she was wrong. After a few minutes of her watching him (while she pretending to dance) she hoped he might come up for air. But he continued to penetrate her mouth, his hand openly trying to caress her breasts. From where she was, Arianna thought she was quite attractive but then that was no surprise, Adam could probably get any girl he wanted. Nicole was the only person she had ever seen Adam kiss and that was so long ago and before they had fallen in love. This was different; this was the deepest cut of all. He had told her that the freedom he was always searching for was not from her but to race more and have more free time to spend with his family and do other things. He had never said to her that he wanted other women, maybe in part; this was why she so vehemently remained faithful to him. She stared at him, unashamedly, taking her position on the dance floor so that when he did look up, he would inevitably see her. Finally, he saw her—their gaze locked—hers expressionless as she stared at him. He put his hands to his face and bolted out the door. Arianna watched the confused girl grab her purse and start running after him. She thought, that was her husband another woman was running after, one he had welcomed with his touch and his sight.

             
As she started driving home, she thought if she didn’t have the boys and was childless, regardless of the agency, she probably would have just started driving and driving and running away like he did, until no one could find her. Not this, he couldn’t do this to her. The impression of him kissing that girl was burnt into her mind. She wished she had not gone out now but on the other hand, it was better to know. After all, how long could she play the fool for this man?

             
The dawn came without a drop of sleep. She didn’t cry this time, she was just numb. How long had she left him devastate and destroy her happiness. Maybe it was time to stop.

             
She wondered if he would be at the agency. She thought he wouldn’t show up to do the photo shoot they had scheduled. She would just reschedule it and hire another photographer. She would do whatever she had to; she wasn’t going to let him destroy her again.

             
She was a mess when she entered the agency, thinking of what excuse she would make to her client. She opened the door to the office.

             
“Hey.”

             
“You’re the last person I thought I would be seeing today. I never imagined you’d show up, in fact, I thought you might already be on your way to Texas or wherever,” she said sarcastically.

             
“I don’t know what to say except, I know you need me to do this shoot and I promised you I would. We don’t have to talk about anything else but just get the work done. She will be here any minute now. What do you say; do you want me to go?”

             
“No, of course not, I’m not a two year old. I have responsibilities and if you’re still willing to shoot the composite photos, I’ll be grateful to you.”

             
“I want to stay and help you.”

             
“Do whatever you want, you always do and never give a damn who gets hurt.”

             
“Yes or no?”

             
“Yes, stay; let’s just get it over with.”

             
Robin, the girl whose photos they would be taking, arrived ten minutes later with a girlfriend and her latest beau. Arianna and Adam became professionals and carried out their mission without anyone realizing their complete emotional distance from each other.

             
They got through the day; she avoided his glance, but spoke casually to him regarding the layout of the shots for Robin. They left each other with barely an audible good-bye.

             
She raced home, tired from not having slept and exhausted from the stress she felt. She did not hear him enter the house. He slid into bed next to her and started rubbing her back. At first, she thought she was still asleep, then abruptly jumped up,

             
“Adam, what are you doing here—of all days, this day, why?”

             
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m out of control but I still love you.”

             
“You have chosen many times what you want in life and it keeps coming up that it’s not me.”

             
“Things will get better, starting now. I promise no more women and I’ll come back home to you and the boys.”

             
“No, Adam, not this time. You can’t possibly expect to love someone the way you do. Everything is for you. If it had been me who walked out on you, you would never have spoken to me again.”

For the first time, she refused his lovemaking attempts. He was furi
ous, tearing out of the driveway on his cycle.

             
They continued to see each other at the agency and Adam was true to his word to continue to assist her. They were cordial to each other and sometimes he would hug her good-bye, neither of them speaking of “that night”.

             
She was now spending more time at Rooster’s because she had presented Scott with some ideas for promotional nights and he liked them. He had asked her to come to the club to discuss how they could merge the activities at the club and Paramount Star to create some new business.

             
She accepted Scott’s invitation to dinner. Scott was the owner of the nightclub,
Rooster’s
, the club she did the voice-over commercials for. Scott was an admirer of John Wayne and a fan of the movie,
Rooster Cogburn
. He had named it after the character John Wayne played in the movie with that name. The rooster crowing at the beginning and ending of every commercial and also at the opening and closing of the club was his signature trademark and had caught on around town. He had been impressed by her performance on the commercials and her production type fashion shows and he had shown an interest in more than just working together. He had asked her many times to go out but she never accepted. Nonetheless, it was obvious to everyone that they had a special camaraderie. Lately, she had been rethinking her relationship with Scott and thought perhaps she might like to date him.

             
“So, finally, you are leaving Adam. It’s the best thing you could do. He’s just an unstable guy, Arianna.”

             
“I know but…well, let’s not talk about him. Let’s talk about you.”

             
“We’re getting some traction from those commercials. I think I’d like to be the male voice on them instead of that guy Tom. Let’s try it on the next commercial you write. Put me in it. I’ll review and then we’ll practice here before we go to see how it sounds.”

             
“Sounds great. You’ve got a smooth voice and everyone loves it when you go up into the DJ booth with your announcements. I think it will work.”

             
Scott and Arianna began spending more time together and she saw less of Adam. They did their commercials and Ari delighted in turning on the radio and hearing the commercials her and Scott performed together as a team. Scott had encouraged her to get more involved with the nightclub and they were assessing what type of promotions they could do. It was Saturday and Rooster’s was about to close. It was about 3:00AM and Scott had asked her to breakfast. People at the club had suspected that the owner was enamored with Arianna and they were accustomed to seeing them together talking business in rapid spitfire. His personality was more like hers, not at all laid back like Adam’s. They were speaking about an upcoming commercial when he walked in.