Sweet Sins (24 page)

             
“Ashton, you don’t mean that. That guy would do anything for you. I can understand how he feels to come home from work and you’re not there anymore and you doing things with me and the agency. That’s probably devastating to him and he’s just lashing out. That’s probably the way Adam felt too.”

             
“Arianna, I do mean it. I’m totally attracted to Neil. Maybe I can sleep over her and bring him with.”

             
“Look, I don’t care as long as it’s on the weekend when the kids are not here. You’re a grown girl and can make your own choices. Charlie is going to really hate me now.  If you guys break up, he will surely blame me for it.”

             
“I’m going to start taking advantage of all the hunks we meet. Why not? I’ve been with Charlie since I was 16 and that’s a long time to never know what it feels like to kiss another man or have another man adore you and chase after you.”

             
“I don’t know. I thought we were burning up the pavement now. How much more intense can it get?”

             
“Ah, you’ll see, you’ll see.”

             
And so began Ashton’s hungry lips upon undeserving males, greedy and willing for her amorous affections. At Mark Twain’s, their most frequent tryst, Ashton would pass from arm to arm. Arianna’s lips or arms never touched anyone. She watched her in wonder. Maybe it was a blessing not to be so in love as she was. Ashton seemed to love Charlie, and yet was able to play in this heavenly freedom of just reacting to her physical yearnings.

             
“Ashton, don’t you feel a little guilty about what you’re doing?”

             
“Why, he’s probably doing the same thing. He goes out all the time too. Have you ever known a guy who could be faithful? I’m still free and I’ll do as I please. What about you? Now that you’re legally separate from Adam, why don’t you start dating? All the guys we meet that want to be with you, you just freeze them out.”

             
“Maybe someday, but I’m not ready yet to be with another guy. If Adam never comes back, I suppose I’ll have to get a divorce. I thought Adam and I would grow old together. Never did I think we would get divorced. If I can’t make it with him, I can’t make it with anyone. I could never love anyone again like that. My devotion to him is limitless.”

             
“Look, I love you like a sister, woman, but I have to tell you this is the one thing I don’t get about you. You’re so strong otherwise but you let this guy walk all over you and you fall to pieces. He’s going to ruin your life and your chance to have a great business and happiness. Why would you go on loving someone who treats you this way? He left you; I know that hurts, but you should be mad as hell at him, not pining away over him like he’s some mythical god.”

             
“Unfortunately, that is still how I see him, even after he left me. I may not have been the right person for him, but he was for me. He was all I could have hoped for in a man. He loved me passionately. He made me feel like the most desired woman in the world. He talked to me for hours about things I’ve never spoken to anyone about and he listened. He listened with every bit of his soul and comforted and loved me. He was athletic and fun and crazy but that’s what I loved about him.”

             
“I still don’t understand you. What about the part where he leaves you? No hero would do that.”

             
“It was all too much for him, my business, the kids and losing his freedom. I shouldn’t have expected him to watch the kids when he got home from work, especially when they’re not his kids. It was too much, too soon. I don’t know. I know you’re right but that doesn’t stop me from still loving him. Someday he’ll return and I’ll be successful and beautiful and he’ll fall at my feet and beg me to come back to him.”

             
“I’d like to say for your sake I hope you’re right but I can’t see him doing that from what I know about him. I hope some other guy comes around and stops all this misery for you, somebody that deserves you. He’s been gone 5 months, I mean, come on. What if you had lost your house and your business or ended up in the hospital? I just don’t get why you still love him.”

             
“I know. It gets harder and harder for me to accept how little he must have cared about me and the boys to do something like this but it’s like some curse. I still can’t see anyone but him in my eyes.”

             
“It’s only three weeks till Christmas and I hope there’s a hunk laying under your tree on the 25
th
with you on top of him.”

             
She rolled on the floor with laughter. “That doesn’t exactly sound horrible, but it could never happen.”

             
“Are we still having a Christmas party at your house?”

             
“Absolutely! It will be a blow out.”

             
“I thought you were just inviting the agency kids.”

             
“No way, we need some outside material, besides maybe they’ll become agency people. I invited some of the guys we talk to at Mark Twain and a couple of the other regulars from First Street Mining Company.”

             
“That sounds like a plan. How can I help?”

             
“I’m hoping you and Stan will come over early or even sleep over the night before. I’m going to make some big kettles of chili, and serve the usual bratwurst and hamburgers. Maybe you guys can bring some side dishes.”

             
The agency was developing better than she could have hoped but each step forward took tremendous effort. Her depression resulting from Adam’s absence consumed her. At one point shortly after he left, she had dropped to 85 lbs. She had sunken eyes and looked like a stick. She had fought to regain her weight and looks and get back on the track she was now on. Whatever happens now, she was determined to succeed with or without him.

             
Saturday night found her completely alone, the boys gone with Chris and none of her usual buddies like Stan and Ashton were around. She thought she would stay in and delve into her paperwork but by 11:00PM, the loneliness became too much and she ventured out to Mark Twain’s. She had avoided coming here because of the painful memories of her and Adam; this was once their lover’s playground.

             
She decided she would enter into the pool games because she still loved to play and it took her mind off of him. That’s what she was doing when he walked up and put his quarters on the table.

             
Arianna reached into her purse for a fresh chalk. She always had chalk in her purse because this coveted item for pool players was usually missing and it made a definite difference in the performance.

             
“Please, I can’t believe you carry chalk.”

             
“I do because whenever I’m at a club, the chalk is usually missing.”

             
“Now I’m not sure I want to play you. Are you that good, or do you just do it because you think you’re going to impress someone?”

             
“Impress someone because I carry pool chalk around? Really? If that impresses someone, I don’t know if I’d want to know that person. That’s an odd thing to say.”

             
“It just seems most people have lots of different angles they play to make people think they’re cool, maybe that’s yours.”

             
“If that was the only way I could make someone think that I had something going on is that I could play pool a little that would be bad.”

             
“So, let’s play, the winner buys breakfast.”

             
“You’re on.”

             
Damon ordered them some drinks and she began to play. His arrogance had sparked her competitive side and she played exceptionally well. She did notice that he was watching her more than the table and this was an annoyance. She didn’t feel comfortable in the presence of other men unless she was working with them but she didn’t want to go home to her empty house so when she won she accepted Damon’s gracious offer of the winner’s breakfast.

             
“Now that is impressive, you have your own business. It must be pretty cool to own a modeling agency. I bet you run into a lot of characters.”

             
Damon was handsome, in an odd sort of way. He had average looks but his confidence and demeanor showed someone who was savvy. He was well groomed like Stan and had a money clip on him that he flashed often. Tall and black haired, he had dark brooding eyes and a small scar on his cheek.

             
“I’ve got my own thing going on also. I own a couple of 18 wheeler’s and ship goods around the state. It’s a lucrative gig to be into and I have a couple of guys that work for me and I tap into the money they bring me. So far, it’s proven a nice lifestyle, it’s bought me a home in Culbreath Isles and a Porsche.”

             
“Culbreath Isles, now I am impressed. I don’t know anyone who lives in that swanky neighborhood. You really must be doing well. It’s good to hear that other people who are young are making it. How old are you? I’m guessing maybe 29, 30.”

             
“No quite but close, I’m 28. How about you?”

             
“I just turned 25.”

             
“I’d say you were doing all right. You have a business, a house and two kids. I don’t know any girls that have all that and I know a lot of girls.”

             
“Yeah, but I am also divorced once and my husband is gone somewhere I don’t even know. That’s not success on any level, that’s just pure awful.”

             
“Hey, don’t be so rough on yourself; concentrate on your accomplishments. If I was with you, I’d be damn proud of you. I’ve had a great time with you. Can I see you again sometime?”

             
“Please don’t be offended. I had a nice time, too, but no. My heart belongs to my husband and until I know it’s really over, I just can’t be with anyone, even on a casual date.”

             
“OK, we’ll leave it at that, but I think I’ll change your mind.”

             
She laughed. She knew that was probably why he was so financially secure. He was arrogantly persistent.

             
Arianna phoned Ashton that afternoon to tell her about meeting Damon.

             
“You probably would have liked him, Ashton. For one thing, he had money and that is sorely lacking in everyone I know. He seemed like a decent guy I guess but I wasn’t attracted to him. All I could think about when I was with him is why was I sitting here without Adam.”

             
“You’re hopeless. I hope you change your mind and go out with him.”

             
“I didn’t give him my number so unless I happen to run into him again, that seems unlikely.”

             
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the agency. I’ll come early, I miss seeing you. It’s been three days. That’s probably the longest time I haven’t been there in months.”

             
“I know. That’s why I went to Mark Twain in the first place. I felt lost without you and Stan. See you soon.”

             
To her surprise, there was a large white porcelain pitcher filled with two dozen long stem roses sitting outside her office door. Her heart leapt as she opened the door and took the little beauties inside. Her hand trembled as she opened the card. Please, please let these be from Adam. She held the card for several agonizing moments in her hand, and then peeked inside.

             
Her heart dropped and a few tears fell from her eyes. They were from Damon. Of course, she hadn’t given him her phone number but certainly had told him the name of the agency and that address and phone were public knowledge and easily accessible. The moment before they looked so beautiful and now they looked like poison darts to her. Why had Adam done this to her? Why was another man sending her flowers when he was the only man in her life?

             
Ashton and Chloe were delighted with the lavish bouquet. Arianna responded by offering the girls her flowers.

             
“Take them please. Take them out of here. If one of you doesn’t take them, I’ll throw them out the window.”

             
“Come on, why don’t you go out with this guy? He sounds interesting, besides, what could it hurt to hang out with him.”

             
“It doesn’t make me happy. It just makes me feel sad inside thinking of going out with other guys.”

             
“It’s for you,” Chloe said as she answered the phone. “This guy must have been impressed with you all right; he’s gone to a lot of trouble to get a hold of you.”

             
“Damon. I guess you figured out how to reach me. Thanks for the flowers but I feel a little funny about you sending them to me. Honestly, I hadn’t planned on us being in touch.”