Sweet Sins (10 page)

             
He smiled and hugged her and she wasn’t sure if that was a yes or a no but happy that they were going.

             
She loved him without bounds but could see their differences manifesting themselves and hoped their love would transcend life’s difficulties.

             
The boys asked about their new buddy constantly and when they would see him again. She was grateful for this small victory. She prepared for Saturday and wanted to be beautiful and deliciously sexy. She was aware of the female admiration that followed him everywhere they went. Woman would grab him as they struggled through crowded nightclubs and they would whistle at him. It was flattering to her but terrifying that these women were waiting on the sidelines just hoping for a chance with him.

             
She decided on a black dress, cut in a seductive V both in front and back. Adorned with a sparkling collar at the neck, the dress gathered at her midriff with an array of crystals. Appraising herself in the mirror, she piled her hair up on her head and added a platinum clip. She finished the look with sheer black nylons adorned with tiny sparkling rhinestone hearts on one side of the leg. She was pleased with this look and felt that Adam would love it.

             
Her energy level seemed to be soaring through the roof. Barely able to sleep, she found she still was not tired. Every minute counted now that he was in her life. The staircase to the stars was right outside her door. She was determined to walk on every red carpet that was anywhere in reach of her feet.

             
Saturday found her breathless and hurrying to meet him. When he opened the door, her eyes absorbed every detail of him. He wasn’t wearing the double breasted gray suit she had thought he would wear but instead had on a sleek black tailored suit. He was dazzling—pure babe. She would stand in line for his autograph, she thought.

             
“Arianna, you’re a dream, every guy’s fantasy. I don’t even want to touch you; you look like you just walked off a cloud. Turn around.”

             
She moved without speaking, excited by his words.

             
“You’re something tonight. I have always thought you beautiful, but tonight, you’re a goddess.”

             
“Me, thank you for saying that but, it’s not me everyone will be looking at but you.”

             
“I wanted to surprise you, to do something for you and….,” he pointed to the corner of the parking lot. Awaiting them was a black stretch limo, her chariot.

             
“Yes, yes, yes!” was all she could shout out in her joy.

             
Bartholomew’s’ was almost an hour drive and she could savor every minute of it with him. It was an exclusive restaurant with clientele from everywhere, listed as one of the top 100 eateries in the world. They had to make the reservation weeks in advance to get a table. Tonight they would be elite, just for the moment. If she could have him for a lifetime, she would have the world in her hands. While waiting for their table in the shadowy swank waiting room, they held hands and talked of life’s possibilities.

             
“Everything seems to be working out for us,” he said. “We should start making plans for the future, don’t you think?”

             
Startled at his loving words she responded, “Yes, I would like that. No, I would love that. Maybe we could go into business or maybe even have a child of our own. I know those are bold thoughts and I hope that doesn’t scare you but that is what I have been thinking. Of course, the first thing we have to tackle is we both must get a divorce.”

             
“It’s so easy to just go on like this, isn’t it? To make those moves towards divorce will bring abrupt changes, letting the entire world in on what we already know. That we are in love and want to be together. It seems like such a selfish thing, but we are so young and I know neither of us wants to be trapped for a lifetime with someone we know longer love.”

             
“I know. I haven’t yet told my parents about what is going on. They’ll be devastated, but still, I know they will love you. They have to, who wouldn’t love you? Of course, there are the children but I keep telling myself that they are so young, they will adjust. Especially if we are happy and they can see their Dad whenever they want with no court rules, it will be a happy life for all of us.”

             
“I really like your kids. Those little rug rats are fun to be around. They will be my little buddies and play ball with them and eventually how to ride a cycle.”

             
“Have you told Patty Jo that you want a divorce?”

             
“No, I am just going to file, maybe this week sometime. I don’t think she will care one way or the other. It might be a shock to her because she thinks she is such a goddess that no one would ever leave her. I’m sure her pride will be hurt, but all of her male admirer’s she’s got circling around her will take care of that. I know she likes that one guy a lot, the one who is always buying her stuff. She’ll probably end of with him. She’s definitely one who likes her material things and I have never really been able to give her anything except a new car.”

             
“You mean that! You are actually going through with it?”

             
“Yes, I’ve thought about it a lot and we could never get back together now. Too much has happened, but the biggest change that has happened is that I want to marry you.”

             
“Those are words I’ve longed to hear from you,” she said. “It will be harder for me because of the children but I have talked to Chris about this for the last couple of years, long before I met you. Both of us were going over and over what is the right thing to do for everyone involved. Chris and I have been leading a platonic relationship for years now and for two people that are still so young, that is no kind of life. Chris agrees that the divorce will be the right thing for us but knows it’s not the right thing for the kids. But we both agree that because they are so young that their adjustment might be easier.”

After dinner, the limo traversed around town as the
y hit a few of the popular night spots, not wanting to relinquish this perfect night. When they finally decided they were both too tired to continue, they relaxed in the limo and to her disappointment, he fell quickly asleep. She had wanted this night to never end, and if it had to, let it end with them in each other’s arms making sweet love.

Arriving at his home, he was groggy and a little irritable and wanted most o
f all just to go to sleep. Watching him remove his clothes, she was filled with love and excitement at his masculine beauty and his muscular frame. He was exhausted, though, and she would be content to have the memory of this beautiful night with him even if they didn’t make love. She was more than satisfied.

“Sleep, my darling, sleep, I will go now and think about how lovely tonight was.”

“No, don’t go, babe.”

He jumped out of bed and grabbed her from behind. Picking her up, he placed her gently against the pillow.

“Adam, you look so tired, your eyes are blurry and we probably both need to rest now. I love you. I will see you soon and we will make up for tonight.”

“Are you saying after everything I did for you tonight, you don’t want to make love to me?”

He seemed agitated and over tired and she was perplexed by his sudden anger.

“Adam, I just think you had a little too much to drink and we probably
stayed out too late. Of course, I want to be with you, I just thought you were too tired.”

“No, you’ve never moved away from me before. Something’s wrong, especially tonight, you would never do that unless something was wrong.”

“Darling, stop. You’re talking like this because you haven’t had much sleep lately and we both have had too much alcohol. Let’s make love now; of course, I want you. Don’t ever think that, it could never be that I would deny you anything.”

Adam left th
e bedroom and poured himself a Rum and Coke. He didn’t smile at her and suddenly the perfect mood went astray as if a tornado had entered the room. She didn’t understand what was happening at all.

The seriousness of his gaze and his brooding body language had changed t
hings instantaneously. She had experienced before his periods of menacing moods but had never seen him quite like this. He seemed to drift off into his own world as he lay on the floor listening to Dylan. She knew all would be revealed in the selection of his music and felt as if she was unraveling as he listened to
Don’t Think Twice.
His musical bookmark could tract all things for her.

She began massaging his back and
telling him how much she loved him and he began to relax. His hands found his way to her bare thighs and what almost seemed like reluctance, he laid his body over hers. He made love to her ferociously, as if he resented the hold she had over him. Passionate yet somehow menacing, he pulled her clothes from her and braced her against the floor. Devouring her again and again, he had beads of sweat slowly dropping from his face to her. His was white hot and her thighs were flushed from his persistence.

Afterwards, he flopped on
to the bed and was silent. He conveyed nothing to her and she felt a panic come over her.

“Darling, I’m glad we made love. I’m sorry we had a misunderstanding. Everything’s all right, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. It ain’t right that you pulled away from me. You never did that and it don’t make sense, especially tonight.”

Something was noticeable different between them and yet she was dumbfounded how such a small thing could get him this upset. Why?

“Adam, it was nothing. I don’t understand why you are so upset about nothing.”

“It’s nothing? When people truly love each other, those things don’t happen. You wouldn’t have pushed me away if it was nothing. I have a lot to think about now. Maybe it would be better if you left.”

“No, I can’t leave now when I don’t understand what just happened. We just had the most wonderful night, everything was perfect. You were so tired, you were barely awake and I just thought it would be better to let it be. You’re destroying me with your words.”

“You, Patty Jo, my Mum, you all want me to behave a certain way. Each one of you has a different path you want me to take to please you. I don’t know how to please you all so maybe I should just be by myself right now and figure it out.”

“What does Patty Jo have to do with this? Have you seen her recently?”

“I haven’t tried to see her but my Mum invites her over every time I go to dinner by her house. They’ve both been pressuring me to get back together with her.”

She looked at him with shock, the color drained from her face.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew how upset you would be. No, I didn’t sleep with her or anything like that. I told you I wouldn’t do that. But she’s not letting go of me and it’s messing me up. I can’t understand it, she has this other guy, but she still keeps saying she wants to give it another try.”

“You said that you were going to file for divorce this week. You were so certain and all along you were seeing her and you never said a word.”

“Well, I was certain when I said that to you, but things changed. I don’t know. I’m not sure anymore.”

“How could you possibly have changed your mind so quickly?”

“Maybe I still have some feelings for Patty Jo. You know, we are still married and I’ve been with her a long time. Maybe I was forcing all of this to happen with you because you love me so much, it’s hard not to respond to that but maybe I don’t have the same kind of love as you have.”

Tears streamed down her face. She felt as if he had just stood her up against the wall, aimed for her heart and unmercifully missed and she was still alive.

“I don’t want you to cry, but you brought this on yourself. You kept pushing for everything to go so fast and I’m not ready for that. By forcing me to make the decision, you are just making me
go to back to her.”

She was so stunned by his words, she could barely speak. She responded in a whisper.

“You are the reason that I breathe, that I live. I would never intentionally force or create a situation that would make you leave me. That’s crazy. I just don’t understand any of this. I hear you speaking but it’s surreal. It seems like someone else is saying the words.”        

“It’s all been too fast for me. Ever since I met you, we have been practically
inseparable. I don’t’ have time for myself to just take a long weekend and go riding or whatever. Between you, Patty Jo and my Mum, you have every day planned for me.”

“I feel like another person emerged and took control of your body. Do you think this has all been a mirage? Look at me, Adam. I’m the girl you’re supposed to love forever. The one you made you really love for the first time. Was that all just a lie?”

“Something’s just changed. I don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s happened and I can’t help the way I feel. I don’t know where I belong anymore. Maybe you should just stay with Chris; you do have two kids together. That might be the best thing for all of us.”