Sweet Sins (8 page)

             
“Yes, I had to but we had double beds. She didn’t give up that easy. She tried to be intimate with me but I was so cold to her that all she did was start crying again. I hated that, I didn’t want to hurt her but I knew her new boyfriend would comfort her when we returned. She behaved badly but I didn’t get mad or hold it against her, I knew it was because of what I had said and did. She started slow dancing with all the guys there and even kissed a few. It was horrible for my Mum, she was embarrassed by all of it in front of the family. I knew she was trying to make me jealous and she just couldn’t accept that we weren’t getting back together. I think she thought she could stir things up and get me back. She kept trying to put her arms around me and I pushed her away. I kept telling her I didn’t love her anymore, but she kept saying that I did and she was sure of it. She said no one could ever take her place, that we were childhood sweethearts. I told her that was yesterday and those feelings don’t exist anymore.”

             
As much as she loved him, Arianna felt compassion for Patty Jo; she couldn’t imagine him saying those words to her. If that were to ever happen, her heart would turn to stone.

             
He said, “Come here and hold me, tell me you’ll never leave me. We have to be together forever because I know if I can’t make it with you; I couldn’t make it with anyone. I’ve never felt like this before and you, you’re about as perfect as any girl could get. How could I ever be with anyone else after knowing your loving ways?”

             
“It’s so good to hear you say those words. I’ve been sick since you’ve been gone. I wanted to believe that everything would be all right between us, but it wasn’t easy. Do you think she will keep trying to get back with you?”

             
“Maybe, I can’t say for sure. I was pretty cold. She kept saying it was only a matter of time and I would return to her. After all the years we have been together, she felt as if that was all the ties we needed. She said I barely knew you and that I couldn’t possibly be in love. But I feel I’ve had more love with you in this short time than I ever had with her. I’ve never been this happy; you have given me a great gift.”

             
The phone began its incessant ringing and Adam was sure it would be either Patty Jo or his mother.

             
“Come on, let’s go to
Cowboy
. The only person I want to talk to right now is you.”

             
Cowboy
was a great change of pace. It had recently opened, as had many others, with a country theme. The movie,
Urban Cowboy
, had inspired a faux country trend. None of the themed country bars actually played country music but almost all had mechanical bulls and Texas style décor. The mechanical bulls were a rage and guys and girls alike tried their hand at riding them.

             
There was a line outside the door, as usual. Even though it was a Monday, the sultry weather beckoned you into its arms to enjoy the night.

             
Security went down the line checking ID’s and dress code. When they reached them, the bouncer spoke to Adam, “Sorry, you can’t come in without a shirt collar, new rules.”

             
Adam was wearing a muscle shirt, the kind that made him look like a gift from the Gods.

             
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Adam said disgustingly. “Arianna, stay in line and I’ll check in the car to see if I have a shirt.”

             
She watched his magnificent body move and again felt the joy that he was hers.

             
He ran back and shook his head that no shirt could be found. “You go in and get us some drinks. I’ll go back and get a shirt. I shouldn’t be more than 30 minutes. With the bike, I can race through traffic. Get us a place near the video games so I can challenge you.”

             
Except for slow dancing, billiards’s, video games and air hockey were the things he liked to do when they were out clubbing. They were a great billiard team and won many a game. They both craved the competition and delighted in winning. She could beat him at pool and at the video games—not always— but often enough that it made him crazy and he was always looking for a rematch.  When playing pool, most of the time they’re challengers were two men, and they always thought they would win with Arianna in the mix. However, she had been playing for several years and had even taken lessons and wasn’t bad at all.

             
She headed for the video games and then decided to deter to the bar for a Margarita, the night’s specialty priced drink. Injury from Adam still fresh within her, she did something she never did. She actually noticed all the delectable bronzed men prowling the room. Tampa Bay did not want for gorgeous men.

             
A burnished raven haired boy brushed passed her and stopped abruptly a heartbeat away.

             
He quickly began a conversation, “I hope you’re here alone because if you are, you won’t be any longer.”

             
Even though she had heard similar comments like this before and usually rolled her eyes, it depended on who was speaking them. His pale aqua blue shirt opened down to the tip of his tan pants. He had a baby’s whistle clean look about him. She liked that. She unexpectedly felt herself attracted to him. She was waltzing on very dangerous ground. Adam would be back shortly and this was crazy even talking to someone else. A stranger’s presence now, with all that had happened to rock their relationship, could be deadly right now. She knew if Adam caught her flirting with anyone, his fragile mental state between them might not survive it.

             
It was an uneven ground knowing that what she would endure for their love to continue was not what Adam would.

             
“Interesting that such a handsome guy should be conquered so easily.”

             
They both laughed as he introduced himself. “I’m Craig and I know you have been waiting for me, I can see it in your eyes. How can I be lucky to find someone as gorgeous as you and you are here alone?”

             
Ignoring the last statement she said, “I’m Ashley, Ashley Montague.”

She liked inventing names whenever she wanted to remain
anonymous. She had used this one before and it suited her. He moved closer to her and took her hand. Before last week, she would have dropped his hand like wasps were stinging it but now Adam had bitterly hurt her and a part of her was now roaming free.

             
“Well, Ashley, let’s have our first dance. The first of many I hope.”

             
Looking for Love
was playing as they embraced on the dance floor. She was playing chicken, she knew Adam could walk in any minute and their relationship would be over. She did not quite understand why she was doing it except for perhaps a little taste of secret revenge. Adam had now left a small opening in her heart and Craig, with his charm and good looks had walked into it. Craig leaned into her and lifted her face; he brought his mouth to her. Arianna returned his passionate kiss. She couldn’t understand what she was doing, but knew that Adam’s betrayal had affected her more than she thought. I wonder what Adam would say if he could see me now. He would be shocked as he was so sure of her devotion to him.

             
“Craig, I’m sorry. I’m meeting someone. I shouldn’t have danced with you but you’re so damn good looking and I admit that I wanted to kiss you and for you to put your arms around me. I shouldn’t and I’m sorry.”

             
“You can’t mean that. You can’t like the guy very much or you wouldn’t have just kissed me.

             
“I do, I do… I love him. I just had a moment of weakness. You made me vulnerable. Tonight, whatever girl you pick, will be lucky.”

             
She dropped his hand and ran to the ladies room, now terrified that Adam might have seen her. What was she doing, throwing her happiness away with both hands? Was a moment of weakness worth a lifetime of love? She wondered if Craig would try and speak with her when Adam returned and she prayed that he wouldn’t.

             
When she came out, Adam was there, standing at the bar. She shouldn’t have dragged Craig into this threesome but it was just a dance, she was sure he would find a dozen girls here who would be glad for his attention. She kept thinking, damn it, why had he betrayed her, why had he opened the door for weeds to come in. It had been so perfect, or at least she thought so.

             
She slid her arms around him from behind and rested her cheek against his strong back. He turned and kissed her sweetly.

             
“It’s good to be home, girl, home to you. I know it’s going to take a while for you to forget what happened, but please try and forgive me. We won’t make it if you don’t.”

             
Was his telepathic? She had just acted out his concerns. It made her shake a little knowing just how true his words were.

             
They played Galaxy One, their favorite video game, challenging each other for sexual favors. Arianna loved this, either way she couldn’t lose. Like gypsy fortune tellers, they would tease each other that their lover’s fate would be decided by the winning or losing of the game.

             
“OK, if I win this one, Patty Jo will never ask you to take her back.”

             
“Great. How am I supposed to try and beat you?”

             
“You will. It’s your nature. You would never go down without a good fight.”

             
He beat her by ten points and even though she knew it was silly, she felt let down as if this was a premonition of bad times to come.

             
They continued drinking the sweet sour Margaritas, both settling into that loving feeling. He took the initiative this time to take her hand and bring her to the dance floor. She knew he must be feeling good to do that. The slow dance brought them to the floor amidst a carousel of other couples. Craig was among them.

             
Craig winked at her and said, “Hey, Ashley.”

             
If a heart could physically drop to the floor and up again, that’s what his words to her felt like.

             
“Did that guy just call you Ashley?”

             
“I don’t know. I think that’s what he said. He must have mistaken me for someone else.”

             
The lying she never thought would happen between them had begun.

             
“Adam, I love you.”

             
She stood on tip-toes and kissed him. A soft, loving look was in his eyes. This is what she wanted to see and dreamt about. She would have to forget and never again be so foolish as to risk the promise of their forever love.

             
“I love you too, girl. We’re gonna’ make it. We have to.”

             
“Let’s go. Let’s go so I can get lost in your loving arms.”

             
On the drive home, she pushed up his shirt and caressed him, licking his muscles and lightly running her fingertips over ever accessible part of him. He moaned his response and with his free arm pulled her against him. She lifted her skirt, and began an aggressive manipulation of him. Like a contortionist, fiercely seeking fulfillment, she clutched him. They were only minutes from home but it was an eternity in the midst of heated passion. They stopped and made love on a deserted street. It was a time for lovers and irrational behavior conceived of youth and moonlight. Life was good again and getting back to the direction she had hoped it would.

             
The cigarette promotion began on Wednesday. They would have two days before the weekend to become acclimated to what they had to accomplish. Each couple was furnished with a list of places they were assigned. To complete it for payment, they must have a management signature from the establishment they visited, indicating they had dispersed their product there.

             
Todd was the head of the distribution and he loaded down the trunks of their cars with boxes of full packs of cigarettes.

             
August heat, heavy with humidity, made them feel clammy. Bingo halls and some other places they were assigned to had no air so they quickly became sweaty and uncomfortable. But it was great fun what they were doing and good pay. They were instantly welcomed by every site they went.
Free
still means a lot to most people. Even though they were only to give their product away to smokers, everyone became a smoker when it was free.

             
“I didn’t think I would like this, but it’s fun,” said Adam. “What a slice of life, what an assortment of people and places we get to see.”

             
“Doing this for a month will take us all over the Tampa Bay area and we’ll get to go to all sorts of clubs and recreational facilities. Being with you every night and getting paid for it, that’s what I call a little bit of sweet luck.”

             
The gay bars in Ybor City were a potpourri for the eyes and ears. Customers were flamboyant and gracious. Many people gathered around them and enchanted them with stories and theatrics. Neither of them had ever been before and they were not sure what it would be like or how they would be received but it was fascinating, entering a new dimension. Times had changed and this type of bar was no longer anything unusual for many areas of Tampa Bay.

             
Adam wandered around La Goya looking completely out of place. This man, who belonged on the cover of GQ, now had a cigarette tray with strap around his neck. She had thought he would think it too girly to do this work, and that he would drop out but he was enjoying himself.

             
They were going to places they would have never gone otherwise and he was immersed in the variety and complexities of the people they met. He studied everyone and they would talk of it later.

             
“I’ve seen things I never thought I would see and you know, I feel OK about it. I thought some of this stuff would freak me out but I know it’s all life. Even what we’re doing right now, it’s just life and trying to get through it the best way you can. We all have that in common,” he said.

             
“I feel the same way. I sure don’t feel like I know what I’m doing a lot of the time but I am sure that I’m happy that I am doing it with you.”

             
“When I moved to Tampa, I knew I’d be leaving my family behind, but ever since I was small, I dreamt of blue skies, the ocean, palm trees swaying. Those things you see only in the movies when you’re a kid living in Chicago. I’m lonely for them sometimes but I am hoping some of my family will move here. The choice is a mixed bag of emotions. I guess every choice we make comes with a price. I know you miss your family in Pennsylvania.”

             
“There seems to be an undercurrent moving the seasons of our lives, preparing us for a new dawn that may look the same but has brought so many new changes we have to adjust to.”

             
“For me, Adam, it’s the best time, being with you, in this beautiful land. Teaching modeling, going on stage, my boys at such a delightful stage and, of course, meeting you makes it the best of times. I know there are so many complications creating boundaries everywhere that we have to cross, but I’m the happiest I have ever been—I love you, I love you, I love you.”

             
“Me too, girl, I’m having a great time. The extra money I get from this promotion will allow me to buy a new motorcycle and that’s awesome and all thanks to you. Everything is pretty sweet right now, despite the other stuff with Patty Jo and Chris.”

Chapter IX

Sweet Memories

             
The next night when she met Adam for work, he emphatically said, “I hope you never do that type of promotion by yourself. All those guys constantly flirting with you, I didn’t like that at all. I mean, I know it’s for work and all, but it was hard to take watching them come on to you.”

             
“Whatever you say, my love.”

             
So he is capable of being jealous, she thought. She had never seen him behave that way before. She had become accustomed to girls drooling all over him and had not suspected that he was harboring those feelings about her. He was the type of guy who always seemed to hold himself above the rest of other mortals.

             
“I hope you’re not angry with me, I was just playing a role and doing my job. I wasn’t really flirting back. You know that.”

             
“No, there’s no sense at being angry with your mate. If we ever started fighting, then it’s just time to say good-bye. Life’s too short to fight and I won’t do it ever. You know, I never say my Pop and Mum fight at all, they had the real thing and I figure that’s the way it should be. If they can go a lifetime without fighting, we should be able to also.”

             
“You’re kidding, right? Everybody fights sometimes. They even say it’s healthy to fight, if you fight productively. That’s a little unrealistic, isn’t it? To never have a fight, how could we do that?”

             
“I know we will probably disagree about stuff, but that doesn’t mean we have to fight. It’s not right, if you have to fight, you shouldn’t be with someone.”

             
“You’re serious! Doesn’t that put a lot of pressure on our relationship? I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think we might have a fight sometimes.”

             
“Don’t worry about it, girl. We’ll be fine. We’re close in our hearts and that will keep us together.”

             
She was worried about what he had said. Did he really mean that he would leave her if they were to have an argument? That seemed ridiculous to her. He had drawn a line in the sand that made her uncomfortable. She wouldn’t think about it anymore. They had enough other issues to contend with already. For now, they were both happy. She knew hurricane winds were coming but somehow they had to stay together.

             
Their last stop of the night for the cigarette promotion brought them near the Mark Twain Club. They closed up shop and decided to go in. This was their special place because they had met here.

             
Adam got his quarters up on the pool table and then left to buy a drink. These had been long days for him, working both day and night. It was definitely time to unwind. It was 2:00PM; he would have to be at his daytime job in a few hours. Even though he liked this additional job, they were three weeks into the promotion and he was tired and irritable.

             
They were playing doubles. When Arianna’s turn came, Adam had returned to the bar to get a drink. She was still leaning over the table when all hell broke loose. It happened so quickly, she was not sure what was going on at first. Adam had some guy by the throat, his two hands squeezing while he grasped for air. Two other guys jumped Adam but he kicked them.

She started screaming, “Adam, stop, stop, what are you doing?”

              Within a minute, two bulky bouncers picked Adam off the unknown patron as if he were a twig. Adam somehow broke away and ran for the exit. She turned and took a side exit, hoping in all the confusion they would not stop her to inquire about Adam.

             
She had got away and walked alongside the highway without going directly into the parking lot. She feared the bouncers would be looking for them. By now a squad car had arrived and her heart was jumping from fear. Did Adam get away? Where was he? What had happened to make him behave that way? She had not seen or heard anything.

             
She could see up ahead the mustang was sitting at the red light. Relieved to see he had gotten away, she ran up to the car and jumped in. His face was white with rage and she didn’t speak, waiting for him to explain to her what had happened.

             
They sat in silence until they had crossed the bridge into St. Pete. He pulled into an all-night restaurant and they went in for coffee. This time of the evening, when no one was about but lovers and other creatures of the night, was her favorite time of the day.

             
The nocturnal crowd never lacked for the outrageous and flamboyant to be lurking about. It was no unusual for the faces there to be familiar. Night hawks tended to be the same type of people like them.

             
“Adam, please tell me what happened bath there?”

             
“I could have killed that guy, I hate jerks like that. They deserve to get their legs broken. When I turned around from the bar, you were bent over the pool table for your shot. While you were leaning over, he was behind you with his hands making all kinds of obscene gestures towards you. That wasn’t bad enough, but he began making rocking motions like he was having sex with you from behind. I just lost it when I saw that. I wanted to smash his face in. He didn’t know I was with you, but that doesn’t matter. No one should treat a woman like that, not any woman, but especially not my woman.”

             
“Oh my darling, I know you. That would make you crazy what you did. I’m glad I didn’t see it because I hate guys like that. But that atmosphere and alcohol makes bad boys behave even worse. He just acted like he hasn’t been house-broken yet. What really freaked me out was worrying if you would have ended up in jail over assault charges. If they had caught you, I think that’s what might have happened. It wasn’t worth that, my love, my crazy, awesome love.”

             
“I don’t even remember how I got this cut on my face. It all happened so fast. All I remember is just wanting to hurt that guy. I guess I was so exhausted, I wasn’t thinking right. I guess we better not go back there for a while.”

             
“It all went down so quickly, I never thought it had anything to do with me. I didn’t see anything that guy was doing. I thought maybe you had some kind of confrontation with him at the bar. I hope when the promotion is over, maybe we can get away for a weekend somewhere. We both made a little chunk of change so that we can afford to splurge a little.”

             
“Sounds good—we’ll take the bike and cruise around Orlando, maybe go to Pleasure Island. I hope you’ll like spending time on the bike with me. We’ve never gone anywhere a little further and we can get up to some high speeds where you really feel the wind and the freedom of the ride.”

             
“That’s a great idea, I’m sure I’ll love it as long as I’m with you. Please try and forget about that guy. Immature boys like that are everywhere. You could have hurt him or yourself. I was so frightened. Please don’t do that again.”

             
“I’ll try. I know it was stupid and for your sake, I will make an effort not to come unglued again. It’s been a long day, too long. Let’s get out of here.”

             
At home, she wiped his wound, tracing over it gently. She loved to take care of him; he had a way of pulling women to his side. She wondered if he would take care of her if she was ever wounded. Pulling the bed covers over him, she started to say good night.

             
“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere. It’s too late to leave and your look tired and I want to hold you in my arms all night. Please stay the night.”

             
Chris had expected her to come home late, knowing the promotion could go into the early morning hours. She left a message that she was staying with one of the girls participating in the promotion and slipped back into Adam’s arms.

             
When they made love, it was exhilarating. She had never experienced this physical revolution before and wondered if other woman knew this kind of pleasure. He was an incredible lover. He made her feel fragile and loved with his gentle hands and passionate eyes.