Surrender to Me (21 page)

Chapter 18

Amigos

I
haven't seen
Harper since his altercation with Jasper. I know I should be concerned, but I'm
not, and I know that makes me a really bad person. What the hell is wrong with
me?

But tonight is about V, as it’s her
bachelorette
party
, and I have to put my emotional baggage aside and
fulfil my role as Maid of Honor.

We're going out for Mexican and margarita’s, then meeting up with
the boys later on at a bar. V told me to put my party face on, I don’t know how
I will go delivering on that, but I’ll try.

My black Jimmy Choo stilettos and my beautiful knee length, silk
ivory dress, is my attire for the evening. My dress falls on one shoulder, and
a thin black ribbon sits high on my waist, tying into a bow at the back of the
dress.

I try my best to make my face as party friendly as possible, but no
matter how much mascara I apply, I still look how I feel- shit.

My
parents were overjoyed when I asked them if I could stay at their house. They
have been very supportive, and not questioned me about Harper. I think they are
secretly happy that I am here, because they have put two and two together, and
know something is up with Harper and me. My parents will support whatever
decision I make, but I know my choice to marry Harper, is one they have found
extremely hard to accept. After the last few days however, I don’t even know if
there will be a wedding.

Peering
at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I flinch when I see the heavy makeup I
applied to my upper arm, hoping to cover the purple bruise Harper left. But I
know no amount of makeup can cover the hole in my chest, because the look on
Harper’s face when he left me with Jasper has left a permanent, emotional scar
on me.

Thinking
back to all the times Harper cared for me, I feel simply awful, because he
helped me stay alive when I thought I was going to perish without Jasper. And
this is how I treat him. I am a horrible person and to be fair on both him and
Jasper, I should cut ties with them both.

Jasper
drives me crazy, and I know if life didn’t suck, we would be together, but
we’re not. And I am trying to deal with that fact. But being back here is
making it virtually impossible to want anything but that.

But
with Harper, I feel like I owe him thanks for being there when Jasper wasn’t. I
know this is not a reason to marry someone, and as each day passes, the
situation I have gotten myself into gets more and more fucked up.

I’ve
decided to get totally trashed tonight to drown my sorrows, and I know it is
only a temporary solution, but it beats how I’m feeling right now.

Bidding
my parents goodbye when I hear a beep out the front of their house, I bounce
down the driveway and open the taxi door, gasping as I see my best friend
wearing a tiara- yes, a tiara.

Bracing
my hand on the open door, I chuckle, “You are really milking this bride thing.”

V
hands me a vodka premixed can and giggles, “Get in the car and do as I say,
because tonight is my night.”

Graciously
accepting the drink, I hop into the cab, ready to forget my troubles for the
night.

*****

As
we pull up to Amigos, our eating destination for the evening, I am suddenly
apprehensive. I don’t know what to expect tonight, because I know once we
finish here, we will be meeting up with the boys. I really need to drown in the
gallon margaritas that Amigos is famous for.

V
interlaces her fingers through mine, stopping me before we walk inside. “Thank
you for being a part of my special day.”

“Are
you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I reply, tears pricking my
eyes.

“I
know, but I also know how hard it was for you because of Jasper.”

I
nod because it has been tough, but I would never let my personal shit stand in
the way of supporting my best friend.

“No
matter what, I will always love you more.”

Looking
at my beautiful friend, with her bright hazel eyes and ever smiling face, I
know that always and forever, she will be my soul mate. We have been through
thick and thin, and no man will ever break that bond.

V
looks at me, and a tear slides down her cheek. “Ditto.”

Wiping
away her tears with my knuckle, I sniff back mine as I tease, “Okay, enough
with the crying. Let’s get you good and drunk.”

V
lets out a sniffled laugh. “Okay bossy. I thought I was the one giving orders,
but in this circumstance, I couldn’t agree more with you.”

We
give one another a tight hug and enter Amigos. There are about twenty five
people seated in the backroom, and seeing a hint of white and red, I know this
room is reserved for us. Heading straight to the bar to buy V a drink, I decide
to start slow, and order us both a margarita sampler, which has four different
flavors you can try in 110ml glasses. 

As
I carry our drinks on a sombrero shaped tray, I nearly trip over when I see the
beauty queen seated at the table, chatting animatedly to V.

Why
is Harmony here? And more importantly, why is she talking to V like they are
best friends? Making my way over to the table, I quickly gulp down two of my
four margaritas as I need all the Dutch Courage I can get at the moment.

Harmony
peers up at me, smiling broadly. “Hi Ava. You look beautiful.”

Giving
her a small smile, I dump the drinks in front of V, while pulling up the vacant
seat next to her. I have to hide my amusement with Harmony calling me
beautiful, as I only had to look at her for two seconds, and her beauty blinded
my corneas.

“Wow,
you really are trying to get me good and drunk,” V says, taking a long drink
from a tall strawberry cocktail she is holding.

“What
kind of best friend would I be to not get the bride toasted,” I reply, noticing
the drink she is already sipping on.

V
holds up the drink in her hand. “Harmony got me a strawberry daiquiri.”

I
nod, and try my best not to scowl. “That was nice of her.”

Adjusting
my messy chignon, I can’t help but feel like Cinderella in her rags, sitting
amongst V and Harmony.

As
I look at V, she, as per usual, looks smashing in her red silk mermaid gown
that clings to her curves. With her colorful tattoos, ebony hair and bright red
lips, she resembles an alternative version of Snow White. She has a light
dusting of foundation on her rosy cheeks, and liquid kohl lines her upper
eyes-she looks breathtaking.

Then
I peer over at Harmony, who looks like a bohemia Goddess in her long pale rose
gown, which ties at the front with a white ribbon, emphasizing her ‘assets’. 
She has a deep rose head scarf, holding up her luscious hair in a loose bun,
with wisps of hair cascading around her face. Her full lips are highlighted
with a clear sheer, and the black mascara she has applied, compliments her
hazel eyes.

Suddenly
wishing I was really, really drunk, because drunken Ava would know how to deal
with this situation. So I decide drunk Ava needs to get her ass into gear and
make an appearance, and soon.

Downing
the drinks in front of me, without appearing to be too much of an alcoholic, I
feel slightly better, that is until I hear Harmony talking with her musical
voice.

“So,
are you excited?” she asks, looking at V with bright eyes.

V
nods eagerly. “I am. I thought I would be nervous, but I’m not. I can’t wait to
be Lucas’ wife.”

Harmony
grins. “Oh, I am so happy for you V. I know what it’s like to find the one you
want to spend the rest of your life with.”

I
very unladylike gag on my drink, which sends me into a coughing frenzying.

V
looks over at me, understanding the reason for my outburst. She rubs my back
lightly, while I attempt to breathe without wheezing like I have emphysema.

Thankfully
the nachos arrive, and I can hopefully stomach these without needing someone to
apply the Heimlich Maneuver on me. As long as Harmony keeps her mouth shut, all
should be fine.

Of
course, I’m not so lucky.

“Ava,
who was that handsome man I saw you with the other night?” she questions,
smiling at me like we are best buds.

I
am not sure if she is trying to make conversation, or trying to get me into
trouble, because I am yet to tell V about Jasper and Harper’s altercation.

V
looks at me quickly and I squirm.

Swallowing
my mouthful of food I reply, “That was Harper. He’s my fi… my friend.”

Thankfully
I recover from that slip.

V
gives me a pointed look, and I know I am in for a grilling as soon as we leave.

After
some idle chitchat, V excuses herself to mingle amongst her guests. I suddenly
feel extremely uncomfortable because I am left alone, with Harmony, and her
perfect hair.

I
am about to excuse myself, but she shuffles over to V’s seat, ruining my escape
plan.

Great.

“So,
Ava…” She looks at me kindly, and I am about to stab myself with my knife.

“Sooo…”
I reply lamely.

Oh
my God, this situation would be quite comical if it was happening to anyone
other than me.

“I
wanted to ask you, about Jasper.”

Stuffing
a guacamole soaked chip into my mouth, I nod, while trying to think of some
excuse to run away from her.

“Are
you guys together?” she bravely asks, and I can sense she is just as
uncomfortable as I.

I
stuff another three chips into my mouth, and for good measure, grab another two
to join the other three. I really, really don’t want to talk about this. But
judging by that determined look in her eye, she will wait all night to get an
answer. And sadly, I’ve run out of nachos.

“Um…no,”
I reply softly.

She
exhales a relieved breath and smiles. “Okay. Great.”

“Great?”
I question quickly.

It’s
out before I can stop myself.

“Um
yeah,” she says happily. “I’m kinda interested in him, and I’m pretty sure he
feels the same.”

Oh
God, I am now regretting stuffing twenty chips down my throat as they are
steadily coming back up.

“That’s…
great.” NOT!

“Yeah,
I think so too. We really have a special bond, and I know this is really
unconventional, but I am going to ask him if he wants to take things to the
next level.”

Next
level? What level have they reached for her to want to proceed to the next?

I
look around, desperately searching for an escape route, but as I glance back
over at Harmony and her genuine smile, I realize I am being incredibly selfish.
If what she is saying is true, and she and Jasper do share a special bond, and
he’s happy, then… I’m happy too. He was the one who said all he ever wanted was
for me to be happy. It kills me to accept this, but I can’t keep doing this.

After
last night, I am more confused than ever about where we stand, and I am sick of
second guessing everything.

I
think about his note and suddenly, I have an epiphany. Maybe the reason behind
that note is sitting right next to me.

If
that’s true, then I have to set Jasper free.

*****

The
night progresses slowly, and I am relieved when V announces it’s time to leave
.You’d think I would be dreading this part of the evening because I will be
seeing Jasper soon. But I am counting down the minutes until I can escape
Harmony, and her captivating laugh.

I
also need to take a breather from V and her friends.

I
have only been away for six months, but it may as well be sixty years. I
realize as I look at V, interacting with Harmony and her guests, that I am the
black sheep. By following my dreams, I have turned my back on another. Was it
all worth it? As I look at V cackling with an unfamiliar face, it becomes clear
what the answer is.

“Hey
bestie,” slurs V, throwing her tiny arm around my neck, bringing our heads together.
“One shot for the road?”

I
look at the tequila shot she is holding out to me, and then back at Harmony.

V
notices where I am looking, and sighs. “Sorry she is here. She kinda invited
herself. She’s been at all of P.O.E’s shows, and I felt bad not inviting her
because she’s always…”

“Around,”
I finish off for V, wishing that she wasn’t, because I should.

But
I brush it off because this is V’s night, and she can invite whomever the hell
she wants.

Reaching
for the tequila, I bring the glass to my lips as I smirk, “Cheers.”

V
isn’t buying into my ploy, but she lets it go.

My
phone beeps, but I ignore it because I know it will be Harper. He has sent me
numerous texts throughout the evening, but I am officially off the
technological grid for the night.

About
half of us are going to meet the boys at a cocktail bar downtown, and of course
I’m stuck in a cab with Harmony.

I
curse the irony of life.

Finally
after an arduous taxi cab ride downtown, we have arrived at Lights Out, a new
bar opened up on The Strip.

I
practically leap out of the cab and am about to pay, but Harmony beats me to
it.

Ugh,
I need a drink and now!

We’re
waiting in line for about five minutes when V squeals, receiving a text from
Lucas. “The boys are already inside.”

My
palms begin to sweat excessively, and I really wish I could steal a hipflask
off of someone.

Harmony
pulls out a clear lip gloss from her clutch, applying a shiny layer to her
plump lips. I don’t even know what I look like at the moment, and quite
frankly, I don’t care. All I care about is getting inside, and making love to
many shots of tequila.