Surrender to Me (20 page)

“You guys look alike,” I comment, noticing the similarities between
them.

Jasper smiles and he looks happy that he bears a resemblance to his
mother. Thinking about his mom, I remember the awkward encounter I had with her
the other day, and of course I think about her and Indie being all smoochy with
one another.

“I don't think your mom likes me,” I admit timidly.

Jasper shifts uncomfortably. “Why do you say that?”

Oh, maybe because she is BFF with your ex.

His uneasy reaction indicates I am right. “I dunno, maybe by the way
she was giving me serious stink eye when I met her.”

Jasper has the nerve to laugh. “She is just protective. She knows
about you.”

“Oh?” I squeak.

That would explain why she hates me, and is Indie’s best buddy.
“What exactly does she know?”

“She knows about us,” he replies calmly.

“Everything?” I respond, mortified.

He shrugs, his shoulders stretching under his tight black tee.

“Yeah, most of it.”

“Oh God!” I cringe. “No wonder she hates me,” I whine, covering me
eyes.

Jasper softly removes my hands from my face. “She doesn't hate you
Ava. I'm sorry if me telling her has made you uncomfortable.”

He looks genuinely apologetic, and I feel like a total ass for
making him feel bad about confiding in his mom.

“No, it's fine. It’s good you two are talking about this kinda
stuff. I will just ignore her the next time she looks at me like I am the
Antichrist.”

Jasper chuckles and I suddenly don’t like the playful look in his
eye. “Why would it matter if my mom didn’t like you?”

Yeah Ava, good question. I know why, but should I tell him?

With nothing left to lose, as this night can’t get any more
embarrassing, I confess, “Because she's your mom and you're...”

“I'm what?” he asks cutting me off, while taking a step towards me.

“You're you. And...”

“And what?” he prompts, taking another step closer.

“And I want her to like me because...”

“Because what?” he questions, taking yet another step towards me so
we are standing inches apart. 

“Because I like you,” I whisper, totally lost under his spell.

“You like me?” he smirks. “How much?”

What is he doing? Is he flirting with me? I am seriously going to
get emotional whiplash dealing with his mood swings. But I’ll play along.

“When you're mean to me, I like you this much.” I pinch my thumb and
forefinger apart a few inches.

Jasper holds his hand over his chest in mock horror.

“But when you're nice to me, I like you this much,” and I widen my
fingers only a few extra inches.

He peers at my fingers, and gives me a lopsided smile.

“Is that all? Wow, I must be a real sucky friend.”

I giggle. “You are.”

This is the one time I don’t mind him referring to himself as my
friend, because he is paying out on his suckiness.

“How can I bump up my likeability?”

I tap my finger on my mouth, deep in thought. “Be nicer to me,” I
reply a little breathlessly when he pulls me towards him by my hips.

“How can I do that?” he asks.

What the hell is he doing? This is the type of behavior that is
going to send me straight into a straightjacket. I can't keep up with his love
me, then leave me attitude.

Peering up at his big eyes, I don't know what to say, because all I
want to do is kiss him.

He leans forward, Oh My God, is he going to... kiss me?

I gasp. “Wh... what are you doing?” I falter, shocked by his
forwardness.

“I don't know,” he replies, transfixed on my mouth.

I lick my lips nervously, and he groans softly.

He inches his mouth further to mine, and his warm breath passes over
my cheeks, spreading goose bumps from head to toe.

Closing my eyes, not wanting to over think this moment between us,
as I know it’ll hurt like a bitch when he tells me it was a mistake. But it'll
be so worth it to feel his lips on mine.

I'm waiting anxiously, holding my breath, but it never comes as
Oscar decides now is a good time to come out of hiding, and demand food.

Opening my eyes, I witness Jasper pulling away from me, smirking.

“You've got really bad timing buddy,” he says looking down at Oscar,
who is purring around his legs, turning on the charm.

Jasper looks at me, and I try not to look too disappointed. 

“I better go feed him,” Jasper smiles, picking Oscar up.

He is half out the door, when I tease, “FYI, I like you about this much
right now,” and I pinch my thumb and forefinger together, with no gap in
between.

Jasper turns to look at how he rates on my fondness scale, and he
pulls a face when he sees how low he ranks.

“Gee, I better step up and get creative then.”

He gives me a quick wink over his shoulder, and is out the door
before I can question him.

What the hell does that mean?!

The conundrum of Jasper White continues.

Great, I'm screwed.

Chapter 17

Drunk on You

T
oday is a me day.
After my near kiss with Jasper, which has confused the hell out of me, I need
to stop obsessing over the if’s and buts,’ and just focus on me, and what the
heck I am going to do with my life.

What is the matter with me?  I can’t believe every time Jasper is
near, all sense of sanity goes flying out the window. I need to stop this
because I am still engaged, and being totally unfair to Harper.

I have gone shopping and visited all my favorite stores, stocking up
on clothes that won’t sit at the back of my closet. My hands are filled with too
many bags to count, and the distraction has been a welcomed one. But now, as I
walk to my car, reality starts crashing in around me, and I can’t deal. I need
another distraction and fast.

Dumping my bags into the trunk, I decide to go visit my parents. I
want to ask them if it would be okay to stay with them, until I figure out what
the fudge I want to do. In times of crisis, my mom makes the best chocolate
chip cookies, and this crisis demands a truckload.

The car ride takes less than fifteen minutes which I am thankful
for, as my brain has started to go into overdrive.

Pulling into the driveway, I notice their car is not there. Drat, I
should have called first. I am about to put the car into reverse, when out of
the corner of my eye, I notice someone stumbling out of the shrubs, off to the
right.

Letting out a startled yelp while locking my door, which is
ridiculous, seeing as I’m in a neighborhood where nothing remotely dangerous
ever happens, I take a closer look at the bumbling, swaying person, staggering
towards my car.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath, unsnapping
my seatbelt and opening my door.

“Jasper?” I whisper, not wanting to disturb the neighbors, as I take
a step towards his wobbly form.

What on earth is he doing?

“Ava, Ava, Ava let you hair hang down,” Jasper sings slightly off
key, while attempting to dance, but looking more like a constipated chicken.

He is clearly drunk as a skunk. But more importantly, why is he
drunk as a skunk on my doorstep?

“I think you mean Evie,” I correct, not that it matters.

Jasper amends, singing out the chorus loudly and this time in key,
using his beer bottle as a microphone.

“I think Ava sounds better,” he says smirking.

My insides liquefy as the sound of his deep singing voice always
leaves me panting.

He opens his mouth, about to smash out another verse, when I quickly
place my finger over his lips to silence him.

“Sssh, you’ll wake the neighbors,” I say. “You’ll be quiet?” I ask,
cocking my head to the side, waiting for an answer.

Jasper nods with big innocent eyes, so I remove my finger from his
curved bow lips, smiling as he lets out a tiny drunk hiccup.

“How long have you been here?” I inquire.

How did he know I was even going to be here?

Jasper looks wasted. His light grey V neck t-shirt has grass stains
on it, and his blue jeans have dirt all over them. What did he do? Crawl here?

Jasper looks at his cuff watch, holding it inches away from his
face, while closing an eye to focus.

“I have been here since... something o’clock,” he says while swaying
to the left.

Sighing, as I am not going to get diddlysquat out of him, I smile.
“C’mon, I’m taking you home. Where’s your truck?” I ask peering around, as I
figure it’ll be easier for me to drive him home in his own vehicle, and cab it
back here.

He shrugs, and hiccups again.

Great.

“Did you get dropped off here?” I am trying my hardest to piece
together how long Jasper has been here, how he got here, and more importantly,
why he is here.

Jasper shakes his head, his messy hair falling into his eyes. “I
walked,” he replies while taking a swig of his beer.

Wow, he walked? From his house? That’s like a ridiculous amount of
walking time.

“Why?” I question.

He stumbles forward, and I catch onto his arm to stop him from
falling face first onto the grass.

“Because I wanted you to like me more, and I was trying to be
creative, but I drank all the beer.”

O-kay, that makes zero sense.

Then I remember his words from last night, as he said he better step
up and be creative so his likeability increases. This is taking things to the
extreme, but I am still smiling like an idiot when I realize he did this for
me.

“You’re silly, but adorable,” I smile while brushing his hair from
his forehead.

He lets out a low moan and I pull back my hand, because the sound
does perverse things to my insides. And I have to hold back, before I take
advantage of his inebriated state.

But his reflexes are still quick as he grabs a hold of my wrist and
sighs, “Keep touching me.”

Whoa, what? Did I just hear him right?

Gasping, my mouth parts, as he still has a hold of my wrist. And as
he looks at me with hooded eyes, he brings my hand up to his lips, kissing my
open palm. My eyes widen and my heart begins beating wildly.

“Do you like me more now?”

At the moment, I am trying to stop myself from liking him too much.
But I’m pretty certain I am way too late, as the like ship set sail a long time
ago, and now I am faced with an endless sea of pure wanton need.

“Jasper...” I pause, unsure of what I want to say. “Let me take you
home,” I finish off.

Jasper shakes his head, pulling me towards him so we are chest to
chest.

“Answer my question first.”

His alcohol laced breath is fanning my cheeks, and for some reason,
it is a total turn on. My hormones begin a striptease, hoping I listen to them,
and give in to my needs.

“Yes,” I reply simply, because it’s the truth.

Jasper leans forward, hovering over my mouth. “How much?”

I hold onto my breath, afraid if I breathe the wrong way, I might do
something I know I shouldn’t.

“This much,” I say breathlessly, while stretching my thumb and
forefinger as far as they will extend.

Jasper tongues his top lip. “Good. Okay, now let’s go home,” he says
while pulling back with a smug look on his face, as he knows he has caused me
to go weak at the knees.

Home.

How I wish his home was mine.

He opens the passenger door, while I stand staring off into the
distance, wishing I closed the distance between us and kissed the living hell
out of him.

A horn tooting, snaps me out of my fantasy, and I turn to see a
smirking Jasper, leaning over the driver’s side, with his hand poised over the
horn.

That smug bastard.

*****

The car ride back to Jasper’s has been quiet. I don’t know why, but
I am afraid if I speak, I won’t stop.

Finally, I pull into his driveway and turn off my car. When I shift
in my seat to look over at him, he is staring straight ahead.

“Do you want me to help you inside?” I ask after a minute of
uncomfortable silence.

Jasper unbuckles his seatbelt. “No, I’ll be okay. I don’t want you
telling your friends what a lightweight I am.”

I let out a small giggle. “My lips are sealed,” I reply while
motioning the lock and key gesture to my closed mouth, and throwing away the
invisible key.

Bad idea.

Jasper’s blue eyes drop to my mouth, and his stare heats my skin. I
can’t take this any longer. He needs to either kiss me, or get the hell out of
my car before I smash my lips to his, and never let go.

Finally, he raises his eyes to mine and shuffles in his seat,
leaning over to my side of the car.

Is he? No... could he?

He inches his face towards mine, and I too edge forward, so not in
control of my actions right now, because kissing him is the only thing I can
think of. But then I remember he is drunk, and this kiss will be meaningless in
the morning.

Pulling back and shaking my head, in hopes of knocking some sense
into my lust filled brain, I whisper, “You’re drunk Jasper.”

Jasper smiles, but it’s a sad smile.

His eyes focus on mine as he confesses, “I’m drunk on you. You’re my
poison Ava, and I don’t know how to stop consuming you.”

A breath catches in my throat as words that should be interrupted
harshly, aren’t at all perceived that way.

I don’t know how to reply, so I don’t. I close my eyes and take five
steadying breaths.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Reopening my eyes, I see that I’m alone.

Peering up at Jasper’s house, I witness him turning back towards my
car from his front door. The porch light reflects off his beautiful face, and
his expression is mirroring mine. And that expression is one I have been trying
so hard to keep at bay, but sadly have been failing at.

That expression is one of submission and surrender.

We both surrender.

And that fact scares the living shit out of me.