Stanton Adore (14 page)

Chapter 11

Ninety minutes later
Joshua and I are waiting to be seated at my favourite Italian Restaurant. “Table for two thanks,” he asserts to the waiter, without as much as a smile.

“Ah yes, this way.” The waiter motions to the front of the bay windows that lead out onto the street. He looks around.

“We need to be at the back of the restaurant,” as he adjusts his cufflinks. I frown at him affronted by his rudeness.

“Ok, this table to the back then.”

Joshua smiles. “Thank you.” Beautiful Josh has disappeared and Mr Stanton has come in his place. That became apparent an hour ago when a body guard arrived at my apartment with an overnight bag, full of clean clothes for him. After a heated discussion and a small tanty from yours truly he finally agreed to the body guard travelling in a separate car from us. If I have him for one frigging night I’m not sharing, not a chance. He looks edible of course, jeans, white shirt and a navy blazer. He oozes confidence and sex appeal, no wonder he attracts so much attention. The forty thousand dollar Rolex watch doesn’t help the situation either. I am so punching above my weight here. “Why do we have to sit at the back?” I frown, “I wanted to sit near the window.” He follows me silently and pulls out my chair for me to take a seat, oohh manners. He sits ignoring my question as he looks around. He calls the waiter.

“I’ll have a bottle of Barossa Valley Chiraz thank you.” He turns his eyes back to me.

“Answer my question” I snap.

He raises his eyebrows in silent defiance. “Natasha I really don’t want the paps to find me here, I like privacy.”

I huff. “Could have fooled me,” I mutter under my breath.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snaps.

“Joshua I’ve had a google alert on you and every time I turn on my computer I’ve had to endure every damn date you’ve been on for the last five years. I would say you thrive with the attention on your love life.”

He sits back obviously annoyed at my challenge. “I do, do I?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes I think you do,” I answer. The waiter arrives and pops the cork he pours a little into the glass. He tastes it.

“That’s fine,” he replies, his eyes not leaving mine. The waiter pours me a glass.

“Will that be all?”

“Yes thanks,” I answer. He takes a sip and his eyes bore into me as he leans back on his chair, he’s pulling a power stance. Give me a break.

“Why would you have a google alert on me?” He tilts his head to the side while he runs the side of his forefinger back and forward over his lip, he’s thinking. I’ve already worked out this mannerism.

“You know why,” I answer, slightly embarrassed. Obviously because I don’t have one cool bone in my body.

“Josh I’ve told you my feelings haven’t changed, of course I want to know what you are doing.” “And what have you found out?” His smugness is starting to piss me off.

I shrug my shoulders, “Lots of things.” I take a sip of my wine and look around the room.

“Like what?” he snaps.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I do wide eyes at him.

“Are you looking for a fight tonight?” His arrogance is seriously pissing me off and I raise my brow at him. He has the ordacity to smile and bite his lip.

“It turns me on when you get angry you know?” He sips his wine as he narrows his eyes at me.

I smirk unable to hold it in. “No, I just wonder why you can’t be seen with me. But you’re more than happy to be seen with every other woman in the United States of America.”

He rolls his eyes. “You can’t be serious, did you ask me to take you out for dinner so you can fight with me about my past.” He takes another sip of his wine, his eyes not leaving mine.

“That depends Josh, is it your past or your future?”

His eyes burn into me. “Both,” he replies.

I nod unable to speak, I didn’t expect that answer. I look down at the table and rearrange my knife and fork, seriously what am I doing here? I should rip off this band aid before I get an infection. Maybe I should start with the antibiotics now before it turns septic. He must be able to sense he’s hurt my feelings.

“Hey, look at me” he whispers, I drag my eyes to him.

“Natasha you know we can’t be like we were, why are you bringing this up now?” I shrug to afraid to speak in case I burst into tears. What’s wrong with me? Talk about how to lose a guy in ten days, try ten hours. Good one Natasha, you fuckwit.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry Josh I just feel………off centre. I didn’t know this was going to happen.” He smiles and nods as if he understands. “Josh I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever got another chance with you I would never keep another secret from you again. So I need to tell you that I can’t imagine being with someone else………… ever.” He stays silent and still, unsure what to say. “Tell me how have you done it?” He frowns. “How have you moved on? Tell me how to move on Josh? I don’t know how.”

“That’s laughable,” he whispers as he leans into the table. “You’re the one that has had two serious boyfriends.”

I frown. “And why do you think I broke up with those boys Josh?”

He shrugs. “Boredom I suspect, the poor bastards.”

“I broke up with them Josh because I compare everyone to you, and unfortunately no one comes close.” He takes another sip of his wine and goes back to his thinking pose, pointer over his lip. Face serious. “No other man gets me crazy like you Josh………… I can’t explain it.” I give him a sad smile, “Let’s just say it’s been a lot harder on me than it has on you.” There I said it out loud, no more secrets. He leans forward, narrows his eyes and clenches his hands into fists. Contempt dripping from his every pore.

“You think this has been easy on me, you have no fucking idea what you are talking about Natasha, the reason I sleep with so many women is to try and find someone that even rouses a smidgeon of the feelings that I feel when I’m with you, although they always fall short.” My heart swells and I smile.

“What do you feel when your with me?”

“Like I never want to leave. Like the sex I’ve had since isn’t even in the same book, let alone on the same page.”

“What sex do you have with other girls Josh?” I close my eyes, I’m not really sure I want to know the answer, how in the hell did we get onto this topic?

“Empty sex,” he sighs.

“What sex do we have Josh, you and me?” I gesture at the air between us. He stays silent as he assesses my question. After two full moments of silence he sighs as he rests his chin on his hand. “The best sex of my life, I never want it to end. It’s ridiculous I know.”

I smile a victorious smile as our eyes lock. “I feel the same Josh. It doesn’t have to end. Why can’t we just spend the next couple of months together?” I grab his hand and give it a pleading squeeze.

“Tash you know why, it will be just harder to leave when the time comes, and it will end. We both know that.”

I blow out a breath in frustration. “But can you please stick with your promise?”

He leans back and smiles. “The one you made me promise under sufferance.”

I smile. “Yes that one.”

“I know what you did back there you know?” he smirks.

“Well desperate times call for desperate measures and I seriously will go postal if you sleep with someone else Josh, I mean it,” my voice is rising.

“Ok sshh,” he whispers as he looks around. “Why is that so important to you?” he asks, he really has no idea does he?

“Because if we run into each other, say at the Ivy, can you imagine how it would feel if I’m with someone else.”

He runs his tongue over the top of his front teeth. “I think we both saw how that went the other night” he says deadpan.

I smile and bite my lip. “What did you do to that guy anyway?”

“Nothing until we got out to the back security room and he told me you give a great blow job.”

I gasp, “Josh I’ve never been with him.” I put my hand over my mouth. “My god, what a liar.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “Never,” he repeats.

“Definitely not,” I answer. “He’s a dick.”

“Why were you letting him touch you then?” I swallow, this sounds childish even to my ears. “I was mad with you Josh I had just seen you with that stripper?” I swallow the lump in my throat as the visual re-enters my brain.

He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “So you were going to sleep with him to pay me back,” he murmurs.

“I was going to try,” I whisper.

“What does that mean?” He snaps.

“Josh I have trouble being with………… Other men.”

He frowns. “What do you mean?” He whispers.

I shake my head. “Can we talk about something else?”

“No. You told me no secrets remember.”

This is going to make me sound like the world’s biggest loser. “Josh other men don’t”…………I shrug my shoulders. “Get me hot for it. I usually get the hell out of there before they even get to first base.”

He frowns. “Why?” he questions. “When you are with me you’re gagging for it.”

I burst out laughing and choke on my wine. “Gagging for it,” I repeat. He smiles and nods. “Josh you are a born romantic. You should write a romance novel and call it gagging for it.”

His eyes twinkle as he smiles warmly. “It does have a ring to it, doesn’t it?” he smirks.

“It’s definitely a book I would buy.” I do wide eyes at him to accentuate my point.

“It would be a real page turner, I suspect.”

Our meal arrives and we both eat in silence, lost deep in thought. And as we are waiting for the check I peek up at the gorgeous man sitting opposite me.

“How are we going to do this Josh?”

He blows out a breath and rubs his face. “I suppose we are going to want each other from afar and be mollified that the other isn’t with anyone else.”

“That sounds, totally crap. So I will know at night when I’m alone in my bed that you are alone in your bed and I can do nothing about it?”

He smiles and nods. “I suppose.”

“Josh that’s torture it’s like………it’s like………” I can’t think of the appropriate analogy. “Having a Lamborghini in the garage and not being allowed to drive it.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “Did you just call me a Lamborghini?” He raises an eyebrow in question.

“I guess I did.”

“That’s a hot car,” he whispers.

“Well you’re a very hot man,” I whisper back. He grabs my hand again his blazing stare burning into me.

“When did you become such a beautiful slut?”

I smile, my chest filling with an unnamed emotion. “When you came back for me and turned on the switch,” I breathe. Who knew I would love the endearment beautiful slut. Now I know for certain I’m tapped.

“So I have you for tonight?” he rubs his finger over his lip leaning back on his chair, his dominant sitting position makes me feel like a naughty school girl.

“Yes,” I breathe as my eyes drop to his finger lingering over his lips, my heart rate rising. His searing stare bores into mine and our eyes lock, I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to. I see a familiar tick of the jaw and a much anticipated crack of the neck.

“Do you have any idea how hard you are going to cop it when we get home?” He smirks as he raises his eyebrow and crosses his legs to readjust his length that I can now see straining in his pants. I swallow a golf ball in my throat and a familiar heat starts to run through me, a fire that has only one extinguisher, a certain gorgeous man in a navy blazer. I smile and lick my lips, his eyes drop to my mouth.

“I hope it’s hard enough to last me a life time seeing no one else can get the job done……… Mr Stanton.” He grabs me hard on the legs under the table, his thumbs nearly at bruising pressure and leans in to whisper in my ear.

“Be careful what you wish for precious, you are playing with fire. No one will save you when you scream for mercy.”

Chapter 12

Who in god’s
name would want to be saved from the fire I have just had for the last four hours? I was right. The man is a frigging Lamborghini, either that or a sex god from another planet. I smile into his chest as we sit on the bottom of my shower, both too exhausted to get up.

“Up Presh,” he whispers. “You’re going to sleep.”

“Mmmm” I groan. I don’t want to get up. He kisses me on the forehead.

“Come on,” he helps me off his lap. I slowly stand and he helps me out of the shower and wraps me in a towel, he cuddles me in an embrace like a child. His lips gently kiss my temple as he whispers. “I’m sorry beautiful. I’ve been hard on you tonight, you make me lose my head and I can’t stop.” He continues to dry me.

“Mmm,” I answer again, too exhausted to open my eyes. My head is resting on his shoulder. “Be as hard on me as you want my body is yours for nine weeks remember,” I mumble.

I can feel him smile into my neck. “Careful, keep talking like that and you will be on your knees again,” he kisses my neck with an open mouth. I don’t even have the strength to open my eyes to see if he’s serious. He picks me up like a bride and carries me to bed. He slowly removes the towel and lies me down as he snuggles in behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, he gently starts to trail kisses across my shoulder and up my neck. As I slip into an orgasm induced coma I hear him whisper the words.

“I fucking adore you Natasha.”

When I woke up he was gone.

Cabin crew and crosscheck. I look out the window to my left as my private plane hurdles to take off down the runway, I glance at my watch, 6.00am. She will be waking up soon. I run the side of my pointer back and forward over my lip and close my eyes as disgust twists my gut. What a dog act, sneaking out in the middle of the night. She’s going to fucking hate me, who could blame her? I run both my hands through my hair. “Can I get you some breakfast Mr Stanton?” The blonde stewardess is over attentive, she has been fawning all over me since I got on the damn plane.

“No I will just have a Cointreau and ice, actually make it a double.” I glare at her, silently telling her to back the hell off. She looks shocked and immediately nods and leaves me alone. I look over to see Adrian narrow his eyes at me.

“What?” I snap. He shakes his head and looks back out his window opposite me, his annoyance apparent. I am not in the mood for his shit today. If I want to drink Cointreau for breakfast then I fucking will. I don’t need another mother telling me what to do, the one I’ve got is enough of a nightmare. I glance at my watch again, 6.25am. I strum my fingers on my table. I’m so worked up I don’t think I can sit on this plane all the way to Melbourne.

I stand and walk up the end of the aisle and turn and put my hands on the back of the two opposite aisle seats. With only fifteen people on board for the meeting we have with the Australian Medical Board this morning, the plane is relatively empty. I stand for a while as my mind wanders back to the night before, to Natasha. I can’t even bear to be near my colleagues this morning they are just too………… in my space. I check my watch again, 6.40am she will be waking up soon. I check my suit pant pockets for my phone and then my jacket pockets, shit. I stomp back down the aisle and look on my seat for my phone. “Lost something?” Adrian asks a little too sweetly.

“My phone,” I reply.

“Expecting a call,” he asks. He holds my phone up as he smiles at Ben.

“Fuck Off,” I snatch the phone off him and storm back down the other end of the plane. I fall into the seat and rest my arm on the window base. This is a fucking nightmare, a total fucking nightmare. Last night was supposed to bring closure, instead I feel sick to my stomach. My mind flicks back to when I woke up next to her and I put the heel of my hands into my eye sockets. What the fuck was that about. I fucking had sex with her while she was asleep. I’ve hit a new low. I close my eyes, the memory so vivid it is forever burned into my brain. I woke up to the feel of her gentle breath of my shoulder, she was on her back and my arm was draped over her stomach. I leaned up onto my elbow and flicked the lamp on so as I could see the time. What I saw instead, was the exact vision of the fantasy I’ve been having for seven years. Natasha on her back and all mine. I slowly peeled the blanket back so I could drink in her beauty, absolutely fucking breathless beauty. I remove my hand from her stomach and she gently groans and moves her hand around looking for me, she relaxes as she finds my chest. Instantly my cock twitches. I slowly bend to kiss her breast and instead find her erect nipple in my mouth, so fucking perfect. She groans and her legs fall open, inviting me in. My breath starts to quiver as I slowly run my fingers from her throat down over both her breasts down her stomach and down to her beautiful tight cunt. She groans again and opens her legs further apart, I don’t believe this. She’s asleep and her body is responding to me, this is every fucking wet dream I’ve ever had. I wonder if I can feel my semen inside of her, I slowly sink in one finger, she groans and spreads her legs again further apart. Her body starts to ripple around my finger, holy fuck this woman is hot. I add another finger and then another and her body starts to slowly pump my fingers begging for more, this is unbearable. Sweat is beading over my body. I don’t think I’ve ever been so aroused in my life. Her body starts to gently ride my fingers and her soft sighs are going straight to my cock. Just the thought of watching her body orgasm as she sleeps is fucking with my head BIG TIME. Every muscle in my body is aching to be inside her, screaming at me in a deafening sound. Her legs fall to the mattress and she moans, her body wants more. Her tight channel ripples around me and I groan as I put my head into my pillow trying to control myself. Willing myself to stop. Then her words from earlier come back to haunt me. Do what you want with my body Joshua. It’s yours remember. It’s those words that tip me over the edge and I slowly raise above her. Being gentle as I can to not wake her I ease myself in slowly. The excess semen makes my entry easy. Her body instantly responds and I hold myself still, my god this is too good to be true, she just feels too good. My arms shake as they struggle to hold my weight. I don’t move and instantly her body starts to contract around me, milking me. Silently begging for my come. Her breathing is laboured and she moans a deep sound, one that I haven’t heard her make before and the tingles in my balls force me to start to slowly move. With five gentle pumps she sighs and falls spectacularly into the most beautiful orgasm I have ever witnessed and I gently follow knowing that I am thoroughly and utterly forever ruined.

Shit I’m aroused again at just the memory of her………and her beautiful fuckable body. I rub my temples, talk about a total mind fuck. Cabin crew prepare for descent. I look at my phone again, 7.10am she’d be awake by now and she would be spitting nails.

We sit in the limo on route to the hospital and I check my phone for the hundredth time this morning. She hasn’t rang, she’s definitely pissed. I’ve fucking blown it. It’s probably for the best, I can’t have her anyway. What was I thinking? I rub my forehead, I’ve had enough of this day already and its 7.00 o clock in the morning. My phone beeps a text and I scramble to check if it’s her. Adrian and Ben laugh and my eyes snap up to them.

“Expecting a call?” Adrian smiles as he deletes the text he’s just sent me.

“Just fuck off Adrian. I’m not in the damn mood,” I snap. “Adrian I want you to do the presentation this morning,” I sigh as I adjust my cufflinks and stare out the window, “I’m not up for it.” He doesn’t answer. The silence is stifling and I look up to see what they are doing.

“Josh this is a twenty two million dollar deal, you can’t not do this. What the hell is going on with you?” “Nothing I just haven’t slept and I’m………off.”

“Just ring her, if it’s that important.”

“Her name is Natasha, and this has nothing to do with her.”

“Josh you better get your shit together or two years of work is going down the gurgler, I mean it. Snap the fuck out of it.” I rub my forehead and put my head back into the head rest, this day just gets better and better.

3.00pm the meeting went well and we are having a late lunch in a bar. The techs have got on their commercial flight back to Sydney. Ben, Adrian and I are staying in Melbourne overnight so I can see my parents, although I would rather be alone. Not in the mood for socializing……… or living for that matter. I order another Cointreau and ice, it seems the only thing that I can stomach today. I’m so tired. No wonder I feel like shit, I hardly slept on Saturday night after the fight and then last night was a right off. Ben and Adrian are talking nonstop about Sydney verses Melbourne Restaurants, I smile at the notion they consider themselves foodies. All I want to do is go to a hotel and take a sleeping tablet, knock myself out for the rest of this shitty day. But I have to go to my parents for dinner, why do I make these stupid arrangements? It seemed like a good idea at the time. My phone beeps a text

I’m sore baby

I immediately smile, it’s her. I reply

Mission Accomplished

I leave it for a second and then text back

And for the record so am I

I smile again picturing her reading my text. I look up to find Adrian and Ben silent and utterly shocked in their seats.

“What?” I smirk.

“Are you kidding?” Adrian snaps. “You’ve been a total ass all day and one text from Cinderella and you are smiling like an idiot.”

“Shut up I am not,” but it’s true. I am smiling like an idiot.

“I don’t believe it” Ben shakes his head. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve done your nuts over this girl,” he tuts.

“I have not………done my nuts over this girl,” I roll my eyes.

“Joshua Stanton the biggest lady prick in all of America has been freaking out all day waiting for Cinderella to text him, un-fucking believable.”

And for the record so am I

I smile as I read his text. I bet you’re sore big boy, if my vagina is any indication. So he is speaking to me. I am in my office between patients, sitting at my desk drinking coffee. I have been over analysing him and this situation all day. I was ropeable this morning when I woke and he was gone, coward. But then I realized he was probably freaked out and I need to give him space to adjust to this situation, whatever the hell this situation is. I am just as confused as he is. A large lead ball has sat in the bottom of my stomach since I woke up and he wasn’t there, it’s………annoying. I know we have no future, so why am I trying to prolong this stupid affair. This is just so messed up, why in the hell is he my cousin? It’s not natural to be so attracted to a blood relative. My mind drifts back to last night. He’s amazing, I smile again. I know he was right there with me during the sex, the whole six amazing hours of it. No wonder I’m sore, the man is an animal. The kind of animal that has you begging for seconds. I know he lost his head as much as I did, but then he left without saying goodbye. Why? At least I have left the walls for communication open now and he texted back, perhaps he’s working?

My boss Henry comes into my office.

“Hi Natasha just checking that you still want to go with Peter tomorrow?”

I frown as I try to remember what he is talking about. “Where to?”

“Remember he has that appointment at the detention centre regarding that bail hearing he’s got coming up. He just needs a witness that’s all. I can send someone else if you are too busy.”

“No, I’ll go. I just forgot about it,” I smile.

“Ok good, it will be good experience for you that’s all.” Henry is my boss. He’s kind of wonderful. Although I’m qualified to do this job, I am much younger and less experienced than the other Sexual Psychologists but Henry took a liking to me in my internship and offered me a position after I finished university. I am still on the relatively easy cases but am learning every day. This job is the opportunity of a lifetime. I’m grateful that he had the faith in me to give me the opportunity.

“Yeah sounds good, I’m looking forward to it”. I smile as he leaves the office, thank god a distraction. I need to stop obsessing about Mr Stanton, if he wants to see me he will have to ring me. I texted him………now he will have to call me. He better call me.

I stare out the window in the car on the way to the detention centre. My mind constantly flicking between current events and images of Mr Stanton making love to me. I’m over it. I need to grow up.

“So Peter, tell me the drill when we get there.”

He smiles warmly. Peter is in his fifties and one of the most senior qualified Psychologists we have. His silver hair is the only giveaway to how old he is, other than that he could be in his thirties. He really looks after himself. He deals with sexual violence and crimes to that nature. The majority of his clients are male and in prison. I’m interested why he needs a witness today.

“I’m seeing Coby Allender.”

I frown “Why does that name sound familiar?”

He smiles. “He’s the guy that they suspect is a serial killer. He’s being charged with fourteen counts of murder.”

My eyes widen “Did he do it?”

He shrugs. “Not sure. The man is smarter than any of us. Has the highest IQ of anyone I have ever met. They think he has an accomplice, so they keep sending me in to try and find out. Don’t worry you won’t be in the room with us, you will be in a glass interview room behind a mirror. Although all the sessions are taped I just need a witness to come with me. Prison policy.”

I nod “Ok. I can do that.”

We arrive and we are escorted through the office and searched. The place is unnerving and my heart rate is risen just being behind these walls. We are led down a long corridor, it looks like a hospital. There we are introduced to two prison wardens.

“This is Natasha Marx, she will be witnessing today.” I smile and shake the hands of the two wardens.

They are tall and strong and exactly like I would picture them in my head. The first dark guy shakes my hand, “Nice to meet you. George Hamil.” I smile and nod. The second warden shakes my hand, “Jesten Miller.” I shake his hand and am jolted by a shock of sexual energy. My eyes fly up to meet his and he smirks a knowing smile.
Hmm.
I jerk my hand out of his.