Shattered Soul (5 page)

“Hold on!” she shouted just as I reached to put it in
reverse. I froze, startled.

Ali opened the glove compartment and began rummaging
around inside until she found what she’d been looking for, a pink
camera. She held it up in front of her, a cheesy grin on her
face.

I laughed. “You always keep that in there?”

She nodded. “You never know when something’s going to
come along you might want to remember forever. Lean in.”

I leaned in, her head fit perfectly against the
hollow of my neck. I draped one arm around her and a lazy grin came
on my face.

“Smile,” she demanded, before clicking the button,
freezing the moment forever.

The drive to Ali’s house was a short one. Her parents
had rented a historic looking place on Harrison Avenue.

I pulled into the driveway behind a Honda Pilot and a
police cruiser, the reality of her dad’s occupation settled in, and
so did the fact I was the one bringing home his daughter
wasted.

I cut the engine and climbed out of the car quickly,
hiding from the bright glow of the porch light, fearful her parents
might glance out the window at some point. I walked to the
passenger side where trees lined the driveway and I was hidden from
view. I figured if anyone came out, mainly her dad, I could duck
behind them pretty quickly.

Ali stumbled as she got out of the car and closed the
door gently behind her.

“You ok?” I asked in a whisper.

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence hung between us and I didn’t know
if I should kiss her or not.

“Well, I’d better get inside before my dad starts
peeping out the windows or something,” she said.

“Yeah, I’d better get going, it’s kind of a long walk
home from here.”

“Is it? I’m sorry. But, thanks for driving.”

“No problem.”

Ali leaned in and kissed me. I was stunned by her
boldness, but recovered in time to move my lips against hers. She
pulled away first and began walking towards her house.

I remained standing, watching her, and waiting for
her to disappear behind her front door before I moved. Before she
crept inside, she paused to glance at me one more time with a
smile.

I took my time walking home, knowing there would be
no porch light on or anyone waiting up for me when I got there. Who
was I kidding, nobody probably even realized I’d been gone.

When I finally did make it home, there was a light on
in the living room. I walked in to see my mom sitting on the couch
with a half empty bottle of rum on the coffee table in front of her
and a bowl of popcorn in her lap, watching a movie.

“Seth, I’m so glad you’re home,” she said in one big
slur of words.

I almost laughed, this was what was waiting up for me
at home, my drunken mother. I wondered what was waiting for Ali
when she had walked through her front door.

“Thanks, mom,” I mumbled on my way down the hall
towards my room.

I closed my door behind me and locked it, not wanting
to be bothered by anyone in my pathetic excuse for a family. I
pulled the half-smoked joint from my pocket and spread out on my
bed.

I woke the next morning to bright sunlight streaming
in through my bedroom window and Calvin pounding his fist against
my door.

“Wake up, punk! Where’s my money?” Calvin
shouted.

I sighed and sat up in bed. I was still dressed and
my alarm clock said it was 3:52 in the afternoon.

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair,
taking in a few breaths before opening the door and releasing the
mad-man pounding behind it.

“I’m getting ready to bust this damn door down, you’d
better open up!” Calvin screamed.

I reached underneath my mattress for the wad of cash
I’d stashed yesterday. I slid off my bed in no hurry; Calvin was
still going to be a jerk no matter how quickly I opened the
door.

I unlocked my door and Calvin burst through, pushing
it open as hard as he could. I jumped back in time before being
smacked in the face with it.

His hands gripped the shoulders of my t-shirt as he
got in my face. “I said, where is my money?” he annunciated each
word carefully.

I flashed the wad in his face. “Right here.” I wanted
to add, now get your hands off me, but knew better.

Calvin released me with a little shove and snatched
it from my fingers while glaring at me with a wicked grin. “It
better be two thirty.”

“It is,” I muttered, straightening out my shirt while
Calvin counted his money.

“Two thirty, all right. Do what you need to and be at
the car in five minutes,” he ordered.

Now Calvin had gotten all of his money, it was time
to go to dope man’s house and drop off what he owed, which meant my
presence was required. I didn’t argue, I knew it would do me no
good. The last time I’d told him I didn’t want to go, I’d gotten my
ass beat all the way to the car.

Apparently, being brothers meant I had to have his
back in such situations, even if he never had mine.

I was at the car in five minutes, like Calvin had
said, climbing into the back. Calvin slid into the driver's seat
and tossed his backpack beside me. Brent climbed into the passenger
seat, a huge grin on his face. I already knew Calvin had sent Jade
home. He didn’t allow her to go to dope man’s house. Probably too
afraid dope man would reel her in for himself by flashing her a
bigger pile of meth than what Calvin had.

“Hey, little dude. You ready for this?” Brent smirked
at me, putting an unlit cigarette to his mouth.

I nodded. “Yeah. Give me one of those,” I said,
pointing to his cigarette.

Brent handed me one and I took it, hoping neither of
them noticed how badly my hands were shaking.

I hated going to dope man’s house, especially to drop
off money owed. These people were straight up Tweakers with a
capital T. You never knew what might happen and there was always a
good possibility of someone getting shot.

Calvin started up the engine, Drowning Pool blared
from the speakers.

“All right boys, here we go,” he shouted over the
music.

I grinned, but it was forced because I could see
Calvin eyeing me in the rear view mirror.

Thirty-three minutes later we were starting down the
long gravel driveway which led to a rundown single-wide trailer
surrounded by woods. Dope Man’s house.

Three vehicles already sat in the driveway when we
pulled up. My heart rate spiked and my palms became slick with
sweat.

This could only mean one of two things.

One, we were intruding on someone else’s pick up or
drop off. Which, in either case, wasn’t a good thing because it
added more paranoia for everyone in an already tense situation. The
possibility of someone being an undercover cop was always real.

Or two, dope man had been partying and these were the
vehicles of his guests, which meant we’d be surrounded by strung
out people who could snap at any moment.

I didn’t much like either scenario.

Calvin parked behind a beat up red Jeep Cherokee and
cut the engine. He reached over the seat and pointed to his
backpack beside me. I handed it to him with tense arms. My eyes
darted to Brent; he was pulling out three handguns from inside the
glove compartment, one for himself, one for Calvin, and one for
me.

This was what my brother meant when he said to have
his back.

Calvin took his with ease, and then Brent handed one
over the seat to me. I tried not to hesitate in taking it from his
fingers. This was no time to show weakness and we had no time to
waste. The longer we sat in the car, the more paranoid the Tweakers
inside became.

I wrapped my fingers firmly around it. It felt cold
and heavy in my hot hand. I swallowed hard as fear uncoiled in my
mind. I tucked it into the waistband of my shorts against my back
and pulled down my t-shirt.

My heart pounded inside my chest as I gripped the
door handle. I stepped out into the blazing hot sun to walk behind
my brother and his friend into, what felt like, the mouth of
hell.

We walked up the steps to the porch. It was moldy and
in places completely rotted. There were t-shirts, tank-tops, and
even a sock draped over the railing that had been sitting in the
same spot for so long they were discolored and stiff looking.

Calvin knocked; one slow, three fast, and then two
slow. Heavy footsteps from inside started towards the door. My
stomach twisted into painful knots and I stared out into the
unmowed yard, not wanting to make eye contact with whoever opened
the door this time. It wouldn’t be dope man, he never answered his
own door; instead he always sent one of his druggie goons to answer
for him.

The door swung open.

“Calvin, what’s up?” A low male voice greeted my
brother.

“Nothing much, man. How’s it going?” Calvin
chit-chatted as he walked inside.

I glanced up to see who had answered the door this
time, it was a red-headed guy named Justin I’d met the last time I
came here, which was about three weeks ago. If I remembered
correctly, he was still wearing the same clothes.

I walked through the door last, but didn’t close it
behind me because Justin seemed to be waiting for us to get inside.
Once I crossed the threshold, I noticed him give a quick glance
around outside before closing the door.

The trailer smelled musky and was clouded with smoke,
and not just cigarette smoke; a heavy scent of burning meth clung
to the air. The inside of my mouth became coated, which made my
heart pound even faster as remembered memories and want gripped me.
I licked my lips and swallowed hard while glancing around the room.
Five others sat inside besides Justin and us, we’d walked into a
party.

Justin flopped down on a love seat beside a
brown-haired girl so skinny it almost made me sick to look at her.
Dope Man was perched in the middle of his couch beside his girl of
the week; a pale red-head with dark circles under her eyes, skimpy
clothes, and bruised up legs. Two other guys sat in the back corner
across from each other at a small dining room table playing cards.
A silver tray rested in the center of the coffee table with short
clipped straws, a small glass tube coated in white, and a few
baggies of meth laying across it.

The room fell completely silent the moment we walked
in. I could feel everyone’s eyes skimming over me, Dope Man’s in
particular. My eyes flicked to his and a twisted smile came on his
face.

He was one creepy looking dude; medium height, but
extremely stocky, with tattoos covering every inch of his exposed
skin I could see. He definitely didn’t dip into his personal stash
too often; he was too muscular and well-built for that. From the
looks of his company, his stash was his way of controlling
them.

A manipulator of the worst kind. Those were the drug
dealers who always seemed to thrive.

“Boys,” he said, nodding to Brent and I.
“Calvin.”

We all nodded in return.

“You got my money?”

“Sure do,” Calvin answered in an I’m-a-kiss-ass tone
while he dug in the front pocket of his backpack. He found the wad
of cash and handed it to him. Dope Man didn’t even bother to count
it, he set it in his lap and smirked at us.

“Good,” he said absently. He grabbed the white coated
glass tube and a lighter from off the tray. “Need anything else?”
He held the tube up and ran the flame of the lighter back and forth
underneath.

Every person in the room, including me, had their
eyes on the tip of that tube, all waiting for the sweet tasting
smoke to curl up into the air. The second it began smoking, Dope
Man put it to his lips and inhaled.

Want and need rippled through me as I watched,
waiting for him to exhale.

Calvin answered his question, but I couldn’t hear
over the fast paced pounding of my heart.

Dope Man handed the tube to the red-head beside him,
she smiled as she took it from his fingertips. I noticed some of
her teeth were discolored and some were missing. Obviously, she’d
been a junkie for quite some time.

Seeing that still didn’t stop me from craving what
she held in her hand.

Dope Man stood and motioned for Calvin to follow him
into a back room. “Pass that around, should be enough for everyone.
I’ll be back in a minute.” he said, walking towards the closed door
to my right, Calvin right on his heels.

My hands balled into fists at my sides and my stomach
began to twist into knots. I wanted a taste so badly, but at the
same time, I didn’t. My only hope was for it to all be gone by the
time it reached me.

The red-head finished taking her second hit and held
the glass tube out to me, guess today wasn’t my lucky day.

I shifted on my feet, anxiety and conflicting
emotions shredding away at my insides. I had to take it from her,
just like I had to take a hit. It was an unwritten rule.

In a situation like this, when someone offers you a
taste of something, you have to try it, because if you refuse,
everyone automatically assumes you’re an undercover cop. Even being
seventeen and the youngest person in the room, I still had to try
it, because if I refused suspicion would creep into their glare. I
wasn’t sure what they’d do to me, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t
be good.

I reached out and took it from her fingers, being
careful not to touch the hot end. I swallowed hard and got my
lighter out of my front pocket. I wiped the tip she’d touched her
lips to off on my shirt and began torching the bottom with my
flame. The scent filled my nose seconds later, making my insides
tingle with excitement. I quickly pressed it to my lips and allowed
the sweet smoke to pour into my lungs, filling them completely. I
exhaled, watching the massive cloud of smoke come from my mouth and
evaporate around me. A tingling sensation burst from my lungs and
spread like a wildfire throughout me, tickling the back of my
mind.