Shattered Soul (4 page)

I stepped through the threshold of class just as Ali
was sliding into her seat. She looked amazing again today, in a
pair of dark denim shorts and a baby blue tank top with her hair
down.

I went straight to my seat and slid in without
looking at her, wondering if she would notice me.

“Hey,” she said a second later. Apparently, she’d
noticed me.

I nodded. “Hey.”

“Did you make another detour to the water fountain
before class today?” she asked, grinning.

I smirked. “I wish.”

She sighed. “Me, too.”

Her response shocked me a little. So what, now we had
something in common? The urge to get high. An idea came to me then,
if I could sell nine of those footballs for five each and a skimpy
half-quarter or a few joints for six bucks each to some fairly
stupid, or desperate people, I could keep two of the Xanax. One for
me, and one for her.

“Got any plans after school?” I asked, hoping she’d
say no.

She turned to face me. “Nope, why?”

“Wanna do something fun?” I asked.

She smiled. “Sounds good.”

The tardy bell rang and Mrs. Gilbert closed the door.
I watched Ali twist back around in her seat to face the front and I
couldn’t help but grin. She was always so good, even when she was
contemplating being bad.

First period dragged by slowly, which for once, was
fine. Ali and I flirted a little, as much as we could while
remaining silent.

Once class was over we walked out into the hall
together.

“Want me to pick you up by the smoking trees this
afternoon like yesterday?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s cool.” I mumbled, hoping I didn’t look
like I was blushing. I for once, couldn’t stop smiling.

“It’s a date, then.” She winked and walked away.

During lunch I got extremely close to my quota, and
there was no doubt in my mind I wouldn’t either make it or surpass
it by this afternoon. Word had traveled fast.

As soon as the bell rang, dismissing us for the day,
I booked it towards the smoking trees. I had to get rid of what
little I had left before Ali got there.

Only a handful of people stood underneath the trees
when I walked up, Miranda Cooper being one of them.

“Hey, Seth. Heard you had something else for me
today,” she said in that raspy, sexy voice of hers.

I smirked, I knew what she was trying to pull.
Unfortunately for her, she didn’t have that kind of affect on
me.

“Only if you’ve got some money.”

She pouted a little. “What, no trade out today?” She
held up her pack of Newports.

I wanted one, I wanted one badly, but I couldn’t do
it.

“Fine,” she frowned. “Got a joint?”

“Sure do. Five bucks and it’s yours.” I said.

Miranda dug in her back pocket and pulled out a five.
I handed her a joint and spotted Joe walking towards us. I hoped he
had another order for me.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Joe asked, handing me another
Marlboro menthol as he got one out for himself. “Got anything
left?”

“What do you need?” I countered.

“At least a quarter and however many footballs you
got left,” he insisted.

I was happy, I’d be able to get rid of it all in one
shot, and all before Ali pulled up.

“I got a quarter left, it’s all split up though, and
three footballs.”

“Ouch, those went fast. I figured they would. How
much?”

“Forty-five.” I said and saw him grimace a little.
“Last chance of the day, man.” I added, hoping to persuade him.

He reached for his wallet. “True.” He pulled out a
wad and handed it to me. “Should be forty-five.”

I nodded and began counting before I handed anything
to him.

Trip walked up to us. “What’s up, guys?”

“Nothing much,” Joe said.

There was forty-five there. I nodded to Trip as I
reached into my pocket, he inched closer to me for cover. I handed
Joe everything I had, except for those two footballs. It was a
smooth transaction and then we spaced out some.

A few seconds later, Joe walked away with a pocket
full of goodies, taking my place as middle-man.

“So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?” Trip
wondered.

“Already got plans, Ali will be here in a minute,” I
said smoothly.

His hand gripped my shoulder. “What? Are you guys
like an item now?”

Ali pulled up before I could answer. I was thankful,
because I wasn’t sure what we were, but I knew what I wanted us to
be. She had dark sunglasses on and her windows were rolled all the
way down, letting the breeze wisp strands of her hair around.

“What’s up, Ali?” Trip asked in an overexcited
tone.

“Not much,” she answered him. “Ready, Seth?”

I elbowed Trip. “Shot down,” I mumbled. I walked to
the passenger side and climbed in.

“Where to?”

“My house first,” I answered while I buckled up.

She sped off, but not nearly as fast as yesterday. I
tossed my hand out the window and waved to Trip as we drove
away.

The look on his face was priceless.

“Left?” she asked once we got to the stop sign.

I nodded.

The car in the driveway was the first thing I noticed
when we pulled up. Calvin was home. I wasn’t stressed, though, I
figured he would be sleeping.

My plan was to sneak into the house as quietly as
possible, shove his money I’d made under my mattress, and grab a
joint for us from my box, and all without waking anyone up.

“Wait here. I’ll be right back,” I muttered, opening
the passenger door.

“Okay.”

I walked through the front door, praying I didn’t
wake anyone who might be passed out in the living room. I
didn’t.

Brent was zonked out in the recliner, mouth open and
snoring. Mom was in her favorite pass out zone, the couch. Calvin
and Jade were nowhere to be seen, I assumed they were passed out in
Calvin’s room.

I practically tip-toed to my room. I shoved the wad
of cash under my mattress, keeping out what little I’d made for
myself, and went to my dresser for a joint.

I made it back to the car without waking anyone,
which brought on the biggest sense of relief I’d felt all day.

“Where to now?” Ali asked as I slid in and buckled up
again.

I grinned and began giving her directions to one of
my favorite smoke spots. We passed a gas station along the way and
I had her stop. I used the ten dollars I’d made to buy two waters
and some munchies.

It was four ten when we finally reached my spot.

“What is this place?” she asked, stepping out and
slamming her car door shut.

“One of my favorite smoke spots. It’s a little
covered wooden bridge over the river no one hardly ever comes to
now that they redid the park at the other end of town.” I said,
wondering whether she’d care if I reached out and took her hand in
mine.

She glared at me. “Is this the something fun?”

“Only part,” I replied. I took a chance and
interlaced my fingers with hers. She didn’t pull away, which
brought a smile to my face.

We started up the concrete steps that led to a gravel
path.

“I’ve only smoked like maybe three times,” she
admitted, biting her bottom lip, and I felt like she’d just told me
she was a virgin.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I brought
two footballs with me, too, in case you want one of those
instead.”

“I want to,” she smiled. “You come here a lot?”

“Yeah, especially in the summer. Trip and some others
from school, we always chill here and smoke or whatever.” We
continued down the path, her hand still in mine.

“Trip, is that his real name?”

I chuckled. “Nah, his real name’s Bradley
McAlister.”

She laughed. “Really? Where did Trip come from,
then?”

“Trip’s always been pretty tall, and before he became
accustomed to his height he used to be extremely clumsy. Once, in
the seventh grade, a dude called him trip and it just stuck.” I
shrugged.

“Oh. So, you guys been friends your whole life or
something?”

“Pretty much.” A lop-sided grin spread on my face as
I thought about goofy Trip and how long I’d known him. “You have
any friends you’ve known practically your whole life?”

“No. We’ve moved around too much,” she mumbled.
Sadness crossed her features and it bothered me to see her that
way.

“Why?” I wondered. We were almost to the bridge
now.

“My mom is a writer. We move every year or two, or
however long it takes her to finish a book and get her first check.
She says new places hold new energies, and new energies help keep
her creative juices flowing.”

“That’s got to suck,” I muttered. A slight pang of
paranoia sliced through me. How long would she be able to live
here?

Ali sighed. “Yeah. When I was younger, I thought it
was kind of cool because I got a fresh start every few years. Now,
always being the new girl has gotten old.”

“I can only imagine what that must be like; I’ve
lived here my whole life.”

“I envy you.”

No one had ever envied me before. If she knew
everything about me, she would never feel that way.

“So, is it just you and your mom?” I asked, trying to
shake the depressing thoughts lurking in the corners of my
mind.

“No. My dad, too.” Her eyes shifted to mine and a
cocky grin came on her face. “He’s a cop.”

Shock slammed me in the gut, and I couldn’t help but
grin at the irony. Here I was a third generation drug dealer, the
biggest waste in every cop's eyes, dating a police officer's
daughter.

“You going to have him arrest me for getting you
high?” I smirked.

She chuckled. “I’m not a snitch.”

“I’m holding you to that,” I joked as we finally came
to the bridge.

I walked to the center and fished the joint and pills
I’d brought for us out of my front pocket before I sat down. Ali
sat across from me, Indian style, with a big shit-eating-grin on
her face.

I smiled. “What?”

“Nothing, I just can’t believe I’m doing this!” she
admitted in a giddy tone.

My smile wavered as I stared at her. Suddenly, she
seemed so innocent and pure. I didn’t want to give her what was in
my hand. Hell, I almost hated myself for even having offered.
Staring at her, a need inside of me I’d never felt for anyone
before came to the surface of my mind, the need to protect. Before
I could close my hand around the pills, she snatched hers out and
popped it into her mouth.

“I don’t have all night.” She took a swig of her
water and swallowed. “I’m supposed to be home by eleven.”

I blinked, too late to tell her no now. I popped mine
into my mouth and washed it down.

“You have a curfew?” I asked. I’d never had a curfew
in my life, guess that wasn’t something to brag about, though.

Ali seemed shocked. “You don’t? Lucky!”

“No, you’re the one who’s lucky. You’ve got parents
who care,” I replied, rolling the joint I still held in my hand
between my fingers.

She didn’t say anything, and I didn’t blame her. I
couldn’t believe how much I’d just sounded like an after school
special.

I put the joint to my mouth and nibbled off one of
the tips before lighting it. I took a long pull and held it in my
lungs a moment before exhaling. I watched the smoke curl around us
and disappear.

Ali reached out and took the joint from my fingers.
My eyes zeroed in on her mouth, noting the way her lips wrapped
around it and the cherry reddened. She coughed before she could
exhale smoothly. Her eyes watered and she giggled, but I knew what
she was feeling. The burning in her lungs, the wheezing in her
chest. It sucked, but I still laughed at her.

We passed it back and forth a few more times in
silence.

“You know, it’s not all peaches and cream having both
parents,” she blurted, breaking the silence between us as she
passed the joint back to me. “My mom’s always too consumed with her
writing to spend time with me. Sometimes, she locks herself in her
office for days. And my dad, he’s always on my case about
something. I swear he spends all his free time making up rules
for
his rules. He never pays enough attention to me, though,
to actually enforce them,” she frowned.

I was stunned. From my perspective, she seemed to
have everything. An extremely strict dad seemed better than no dad,
and a workaholic mom seemed better than a drunk mom.

Ali had the kind of family life I’d only ever dreamed
about.

But, as I listened to her speak about her family, the
one which seemed so picture perfect to me, all I heard was pain
reflected in her words. I realized something I should have known
from various friends’ lives already, just because someone grows up
in a home with both parents doesn’t always mean life is, as she had
put it, ‘all peaches and cream.’ Ali probably thought her life was
miserable and fucked up. Exactly how I felt about mine.

I took two more hits and put out the remainder of the
joint. I could tell Ali was feeling pretty damn good by looking at
her; I was, and I didn’t want her overdoing it.

We sat across from each other talking, munching out,
and enjoying our buzz. Before long, the sun had set and I began to
worry about getting her home in time. She stumbled a few times on
the walk back towards the car and laughed so hard she thought she’d
peed her pants.

Yes, Ali was definitely more toasted than I was.

“Can I drive?” I asked her, once we finally reached
her car.

“Do you even have a license?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t drive,” I
replied.

“Fine. I don’t think I can drive, anyway,” she
muttered, tossing me the keys as she flopped into the passenger
seat.

I climbed in and put the keys into the ignition,
thankful for the munchies I’d bought and that we’d only smoked half
the joint.