ShameLess (17 page)

These voices in my head still sweep through my mind. I’m next to the one guy that leaves me bewildered, compelled by his mere presence, wanting more of him. For two months, his kisses have been soft, his touches gentle, and the spark between us growing stronger. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can hold out. Such a huge part of me wants all of him. I want him to want me the same way. So far, he’s been opening up to me a little bit by a little bit, the same as I have been doing with him. Because of this, I am facing who I am growing into to becoming. I like this new, reformed, ‘me’. I also like that he is respectful, not pushy. He shows me affection playfully, and lovingly. It’s a sweet combination, and I like it. I just realize, I’m ready for more. Even being near him draws this hunger out, and being without him has me wet just thinking about him. Yes, I’m definitely ready.

“Ready to turn around yet? Or, do you need a rest? You’re panting pretty hard. Am I tiring you out?” He jests, and he has absolutely no idea where my thoughts had me traveling just a short moment ago.
Gah!

On the heels of the truth surfacing in my head, my body reacts. Rapidly, I do a half-turn, lunging down and digging my right foot into the sand, and spin. I push off, hard with my foot, and take off darting back down the sand heading in the direction we just came from. I don’t wait for a response or a reaction from Stefan. I just run fast and hard. I allow my body to dictate its speed. I sprint, running parallel with the raging tides inspiring my motivation. It’s absolutely fucking freeing. Emotional tension blends with the sexual tension surging, pushing me, and giving me additional grit to push on.

“Who needs a rest now?” I cry out into the air now blowing at my back. Dazed, Stefan didn’t see that one coming, and I chuckle as I continue racing down the beach.

In no time, he catches up to me as we near the house. He grabs my hand, halting me, pulling me to his side. Both of us are covered in sweat, and sex oozes off him. I just want to scream. Instead, I lean forward, placing my hands on each of my knees, gasping through huffing breaths.
Damn that felt great!

Before I know what is happening, he whisks my entire body up slinging me over his shoulder, and takes off running. We both plunge straight into the ocean. The frigid water bitch slaps me; no cold shower needed. Together, we come up for air. Freezing water runs down our faces.

“What the hell, Stefan?” I stutter out through chattering teeth as shivers possess me. Between the cool breeze off the ocean, and the frigid water, I can’t get warm.

He pulls me to him, wrapping me in his arms, “I told you, you would be in
my
arms, Star. And, cheaters always get due punishment. I don’t play.” His words, playful, and firm, offer heated softness. I allow myself to welcome the warmth. How is there any possible way to respond to that? I can’t.

Time halts.

In the next instant, Stefan takes both of his hands to each side of my face, saying, “You will always be in
my
arms,” then leans in closer introducing his lips to mine in a more passionate kiss than any I have had with him or by anyone else.

In this moment, it feels like the first one. I’m dying inside. This icy water holds no refuge to the fervor his body offers mine. He attempts to pull away, but I bring him to me this time, and take all of him, seizing his lips with my own. I bite his bottom lip, sucking it in, nibbling a little harder, and letting him know I want all of him, not just his lips. I want
all
of him!

Time has a way of transcending. It surpasses more than the grandest of any of our unanswered prayers. It offers us gifts every single day. Pap is right. Each day is truly a gift. Our past is a gift for our present to open. I’m in the present with the most amazing guy. Right now, nothing else matters except for opening
my
gift, and accepting my present. God knows exactly what we need exactly when we need it. I thank God for giving me the strength to be here, in this moment.

Tomorrow may still be a mystery, but today is unraveling, slowly. It’s like opening a gift, and one I have every intention of treating with care…unwrapping it gently to savor its blessing. Here is to the present; to us!

Stefan

Ren exclaims, “What the hell, Stefan?” After coming up for air, she’s shivering. Her lips are turning blue and they’re quivering.
Fuck!
Her soaked dark hair is stuck to her head, messy, and with a few strands having fallen out of her ponytail. She looks so fucking beautiful. What is this girl doing to me? I have to have her. I can’t help myself. I pull her to me, and wrap my arms around her.

“I told you, you would be in
my
arms, Star. And, cheaters always get due punishment. I don’t play.” I say it while making direct eye contact with her. Her turquoise eyes have me breathless. As soon as the words leave my mouth, she instantly relaxes into me.

Time stops.

A fever is growing inside of me. I search her eyes. I feel her body next to mine. Damn, I want this girl so fucking bad it has my dick hardening, and the pleasure-pain affect has me thinking all kinds of crazy shit!

In the next instant, I take her beautiful face in my hands, and tell her, “You will always be in
my
arms,” and give her the hungriest kiss to prove my point. She needs to know how I’m feeling. I need her to know what she is doing to me. I am dying inside because I wasn’t expecting her to cave, too. I try pulling away, but she brings me back to her and plants the hottest fucking kiss on me.

She bites my bottom lip. I want
all
of her! She is driving me fucking crazy!

Waves crash around us, rolling, and colliding over us. I have to get her out of this water. It is fucking cold as hell and I hate seeing her shivering. I lift her up and tell her to wrap her legs around my waist. “Hold on, Star, I’m getting you out of this water.” She rests her head on my shoulder, nestling in, and I feel like she is breaking me as strong as these waves.

I reach the shallow water, and bring her to rest in front of me. While doing so, her body slides down mine and as her feet meet the ocean floor, our eyes meet. “You’re breaking me, you know that, right?” I say to her, while kissing the tip of her nose.

She leans up, and looks at me through those damn long dark lashes. She is killing me! “No, I am saving you. Or, maybe you’re saving me… Either way, I want you. I hope you want me too.” The last few words to leave her lips fall out through shallow breaths.

I can’t help myself. I don’t know what comes over me, but I lift her back into my arms, kissing her with desire, as both of my feet begin carrying us, treading, and forming deep footprints in the sand up to the house. It is so hard for me to breathe, even though this chick is giving me more life than I’ve known in so long. The only other person to really ‘get’ me was my mom. I never thought I would ever find someone – anyone – that would ‘get’ me ever again, let alone affect me the way Ren does. I wished for her for so long that I can’t believe she’s here, in my arms. I can’t believe I can feel her, touch her…

We reach the back deck, and I keep her in my arms. “Don’t move. Keep your legs around me. I want to feel the way they wrap around my waist.” She fits perfectly. I didn’t mean to spit that out. Part of me feels like the ‘pussy’ she playfully called me earlier, or maybe I just finally understand what Zak being ‘pussy-whipped’ truly means. If Debi has him feeling all kinds of fucked up, like Ren does me, then I totally fucking get it. I make a mental note not to make fun of him again.

Ren brings her nose against mine. They barely touch as our foreheads rest together. Her arms wrap my neck the way her legs bind my waist. It’s seamless. We just fit. I know, she is the one my mother informed me about, or tried to prepare me for. Regardless, Ren is ‘it’ for me.

I kiss every inch of her face and neck while hugging her tighter to me. I can’t get enough of her. I can tell her body is responding, like mine. Occasionally, I hear a small moan release. I don’t think she’s even aware of it, or what it does to me. I knew she was going to be one of those gifts you unwrap slowly.

You don’t rush a good thing, and you sure as hell don’t ruin it by treating her as if she is nothing more than a ‘fuck-n-chuck’. Ren is definitely not that to me. I have every intention of showing her that the playa in me is being transformed – by knowing her, feeling her, being with her – by her! Hell yeah, she is a fucking gift!

Before I know it, she confidently whispers, “Stefan, I want all of you, take me now.”
FUCK!

Even though I know what our bodies are saying, I still wasn’t expecting her to say that. I don’t want to do anything to make her feel like she is anything less than the best to me, for me. I pull back to look her in the eyes, “Baby, are you sure? We don’t have to rush this…”

She puts her hands on my cheeks and replies, “I’m sure. You can’t rush a good thing. Take me, Stefan. I want to feel you. Don’t make me beg.” That is all it takes. She commands my self-control, forcing it to take flight like a remote control ‘copter. It’s flying, nose-diving, and I can’t regain control.

“My dad won’t be home, he’s working late.” She leans her head next to mine and in a low hushed tone says, “It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”

I want her to know. She needs to know I respect her. I share, “No worries. Just so you know I’ve always used protection. I’m safe.”

She thanks me for being honest. Thanks me! Ren makes this feel natural, and comfortable. This bad ass is becoming less complicated. Then, she totally takes me even more off guard, and exudes confidence, “Take me inside.”
Where has this girl been hiding?

Her aggressiveness is sexy as fuck! Within seconds, I do as she instructs. She’s driving me wild. I like this little wicked edge.

Once inside, she directs, “Second bedroom on the right.”

I give my feet permission to carry us both inside, and I kick the door shut behind us. We’re both still soaked, so I make it my first priority to get her undressed – slowly. I begin by removing her t-shirt and pants. She is standing before me now in just her sports bra and thong. I feel my heart race, skipping rhythms between beats.

I begin to touch her, moving my hands over her entire body going leisurely so I can take her all in. I am conscious of how I rub my hands over her skin. In spots, I go as softly as I can, barely touching her at all. In others, I need to feel more… I grip her arms, and draw her nearer to me. The wet bra, cold air, and the feel of my touch have her nipples erect, protruding through the fabric. I lean down, placing my lips over one, breathing warm measured breaths upon it, letting her feel it’s heat, and warming her.

She gasps. “I need to feel you, please, Stefan. Now,” Ren says before leaning up to kiss my lips. She claims me. Passion is in every single fucking way she moves her lips with mine.

I lift her sports bra over her head, and remove her lace panties before taking off my own pants. I lower her gradually and softly onto the bed. With her arms still around my neck, my body lowers down with hers. Kissing continues until I break free to skim her body, stopping every so often to leave pecks upon the smoothness of her skin. She tries to wrap her legs around my waist. I push them back down, “No, not yet,” I tell her. I need to wait. This needs to last.

I glide my hand down every inch of her firm stomach. I can feel her muscles tighten with my touch. As I slip my fingers inside of her, Ren grips my hair, which compels me. I take a few minutes to let them travel around inside of her.
She is so wet; it makes my dick pulsate.
I force myself to go slow. I watch as her body begins moving with the cadence of my fingers. Hardly able to keep myself from taking her now, I fight against the need of her, and inch myself downward until my tongue enters her. I make sure to move, alternating between the regularity of movements. She tastes so damn good, and I tell her.

“You’re going to make me come. I don’t want to, not yet. Let me feel you,” she breathes out, tightening her grip on my hair.