Sex Secrets of an American Geisha (7 page)

Stroke your thighs, pinch your nipples, squeeze your breasts. Suck vagi nal juice off of your fingers with your mouth, lick it off and taste it on your tongue. Use the vaginal juice on your fingers like a lipstick, to sensu ously paint your nipples or facial lips or to apply lubrication just to the tip of your clitoris, as you lightly circle the clitoris with just the very tip of your finger. Luxuriate in the wonderful, sensual feelings you bring to your animal body. Don’t let your mind inhibit your enjoyment of your beautiful, feminine body. Experiment with different amounts of pressure on your cli toris, as well as with direct stimulation of the clitoris and indirect stimula tion of it through the hood that covers it when it is unstimulated (before it starts to swell and expose itself). Run your fingers gently over your belly, your thighs, the undersides of your breasts, wherever your touch feels good. (Using lubrication on these body parts will increase your pleasure.)

My vaginal walls are sweating lubrication even as I write this, beginning to fill my vagina with the wetness of sexual excitement. I’m breathing just a little hard. And, hey, I haven’t even suggested yet that you turn on your vi brator. I will, though, for no matter how turned on you are just from man ual (finger) stimulation, an American Geisha knows that the vibrator is an indispensable sexual asset in masturbation (as well as an invaluable partner while having sex with her Good Man).

If you haven’t used your vibrator up to this point, turn it on now. I have several, including one I like so much that I have a nickname for it: the Horse. You may have used one earlier, during the examination phase. Or you may have started your masturbation with the vibrator rather than with your fingers. All of that is just fine, and fun. Use your vibrator (or more than one type of vibrator) at any time, whenever you feel like it. If it feels good, do it. With a man, or without. (Maybe not while driving—but at a traffic light...?)

I’ve suggested that you buy several vibrators, in part because some pro vide a stronger and some a lesser vibration; some are variable speed; some are larger or smaller; some are louder or quieter; some feel more like plastic or rubber or skin; some even have removable attachments. Find the ones that turn you on, that make you feel like a hot, sexy American Geisha, happy and proud to be finding out how your fingers and vibrators can excite you. Discover whether your excitement is greater with fingers (one? two? three? four?!!) or vibrator penetrating your vagina, or with a nonpenetrative focus on your clitoris and vaginal lips. Or one vibrator in your vagina, an other against your clitoris. Again, whatever feels good, excites you, and makes you come. And come again. And again (why stop?).

Be playful. Smile at your outrageousness. Enjoy a quick moment of em barrassment at how loudly you moaned or screamed when you came hard with the vibrator pressed firmly against your clit (clitoris) as your wet finger touched and stroked that so-sensitive, blood-engorged pleasure site.

Women who possess Geisha Consciousness know that sexual pleasure is good, healthy, and, yes, fun . The American Geisha knows that only when she can comfortably please herself sexually will she be able to bring to her Good Man the greatest of sexual pleasure, both for him and for herself. As you examine your vagina and masturbate to orgasm, you are moving along the path toward becoming a very hot, sexy, sexual American Geisha.

CHAPTER NOTES:

1. Valentin Chu, The Yin-Yang Butterfly: Ancient Chinese Sexual Secrets for Western Lovers (New York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1994), 88.
   
2. Howard Levy and Akira Ishihara, The Tao of Sex (Lower Lake, CA: Integral Pub lishing, 1989), 130.
   
3. Levy and Ishihara, 129–130.
   

She had a pale, refined, pretty face, softly oval, with a sensuous mouth which curved into a provocative smile, and almond eyes brought out with just a hint of makeup. She was lovely in a feminine way rather than intimi datingly beautiful.

But it was less her appearance than some indefinable presence that set her apart. She was poised, confident, funny, and charming. She would, I imagined, be any man’s perfect woman—sexy yet motherly. To me, as a woman, she had another face. We talked girl to girl, though she still gently, so that I hardly noticed, made sure that my glass was full and that I had everything I wanted. I was perfectly taken care of, in fact.

— Leslie Downer, author of Women of the Pleasure Quarters, writes of her meeting with an off-duty, Western-dressed geisha, Shuko 1

I
t was a rainy day in 1985. At the L.A. City College library I saw a stu dent I liked. We had often passed each other on campus and said hi. I walked over to him and asked if he could give me a ride home. He said to me, almost angrily, “Are you insane? Why do you think that I am interested in you? You don’t act like a woman. Why would I care to talk to you?” I was shocked. In that moment I felt like a total loser. I was insulted and hurt. What else could be a worse way to hurt a woman than to say, essentially, “You are not a woman”? But that was the truth in men’s eyes. I was not seen or noticed as a woman. My niceness didn’t impress men. Inside, I knew I was a nice woman, but my outside appearance made men not even think of me as a woman. This was true because I wasn’t dressing and acting like a woman, and I was heavy and unattractive—not pretty, not sexy, and not feminine.

Unfortunately, even after that humiliating encounter in the library at age twenty-two, I didn’t decide that it was time for me do something about my lack of beauty, sexiness, and femininity until I was thirty-five, a full thir teen years later. I didn’t realize right away that I had to do something to help myself. I had been hurting myself by believing it didn’t matter how at tractive I was. Even that rude slap in the face in the library, and much more humiliation with other men, somehow didn’t wake me up to the fact that my lack of beauty and sexy femininity was keeping me from the relation ship success I so wanted.

Furthermore, it took me many years to learn that most men want to be the hunter, not the hunted. After much (negative) personal experience and a lot of reading, I finally realized I had to attract a Good Man to me, not stalk and ambush him, which had been my approach.

I can’t believe how out of touch I was with the reality of men, especially to have bought into the un truth that only what was inside (my kind person ality) should be enough to find love and marriage with a Good Man. As you develop yourself in your pursuit of love and marriage, Younger Sister, I want you to avoid being called an “ugly duckling,” as one man yelled at me as he retreated from my assault. Or, “not really a woman,” as another de scribed me to my face. I want you to attract Good Men to you, not to have to fend off nasty men’s nasty comments.

I should have known that instead of using all my energy to pursue a man, I needed to become attractive to a man and to let him pursue me. When I started to do something about my weight, my makeup and clothes, my acne, and my unfeminine ways, I noticed that men were paying me more attention.

Even if you are married or already in a committed relationship, Younger Sister, you still want to increase your Geisha Attractiveness. Similarly, the American Geisha who is currently seeking a husband should continue to work on her Geisha Attractiveness even after she marries, because the ulti mate objective is not simply to attract a Good Man and to marry him; the objective is to have a long, loving, happy, sexy marriage. We all need that spark of passion in our marriages, and your ongoing attention to your beauty and femininity (your Geisha Attractiveness) will ignite his ongoing hot desire for you.

The Power of Geisha Femininity

The Asian Geisha represents the epitome of femininity; as I’ve discussed, her whole professional life can be fairly summarized, I think, as a maximiz ing of her sexy femininity so that her male clients can maximize their own sense of masculinity in their relationships with her. This is what they pay for in hiring geisha services: to feel good about themselves as masculine men. This example of the fundamental femininity of the Asian Geisha is the greatest lesson that she can teach us as American Geisha: To attract, sat isfy, and keep your Good Man, be so beautiful, sexy, and feminine that you bring out the best aspects of his masculinity. Make him feel good about himself as a man. Do that, and he’ll never leave you. The stereotype of the Asian Geisha is a woman who is thin, with ironed-straight black hair, flawless skin, and an exotically different face.

This stereotype reflects the truth that men notice a woman’s body type, her weight, her hair, her skin, and her face. Men take note of all these things be cause they are very visual creatures; they are attracted to what looks good, whether it is a car, a house, a painting, a meal, or a woman.

The Asian Geisha does not fight against this stereotype; she does not demand that men be attracted to her for her other, less superficial qualities. Instead, the Asian Geisha focuses on making herself as visually attractive, sexy, and feminine as she can, knowing that this is what first attracts a man’s attention: the sight of a beautiful, sexy, feminine woman.

During the second half of World War II the geisha districts were closed and many geisha worked in factories. Mineko Iwasaki, one of the most cele brated of Japan’s geisha and a primary source for Arthur Golden’s novel Memoirs of a Geisha, quoted her Auntie Oima’s recollection of that time:

Even though it was wartime, those of us who lived in Gion Kobu [one of the geisha districts of Kyoto] competed with each other over who had the most beautiful silk work clothes [cut out of their kimonos]. We attached collars to our necklines, and braided our hair neatly in two long braids, and wore sharp white headbands. We still wanted to feel feminine. We became famous for lining up, heads held high, to go to work in the [munitions] factory.2

The Asian Geisha knows that the stereotype of Asian beauty is a posi tive one that can be useful to her. She understands that as she adheres to this stereotype, clients tend to be attracted to her, and her success as a geisha grows. In turn, the American Geisha understands that she can adapt all of these Asian Geisha characteristics to Westernized concepts of beauty, sexi ness, femininity, and other elements of a woman’s attractiveness to men.

Again, from Mineko Iwasaki:

A maiko in full costume closely approximates the Japanese ideal of feminine beauty. She has the classic looks of a Heian princess, as though she might have stepped out of an eleventh-century scroll painting. Her face is a perfect oval. Her skin is white and flawless, her hair black as a raven’s wing. Her brows are half moons, her mouth a delicate rosebud. Her neck is long and sensuous, her figure gently rounded.3

The Western or American man is attracted to (or at least notices and appreciates) any fit, well-groomed woman who plays up her uniquely beau tiful characteristics and expresses her inherent femininity. You can be any age, race, height, or ethnicity, and if you have enhanced your Geisha Attrac tiveness you will draw the very focused attention of many men. Most men’s eyes will lock onto the image of a beautiful, feminine woman, and many will risk straining their necks as they swivel their heads just to keep that im age in view for only a few more seconds. It has taken me quite a while to un derstand that men are so appreciative of any woman’s beauty and sexy femininity. When we are beautiful, even men who merely see us in passing may celebrate their good fortune at being in just the right place at just the right time to have observed us. Just a few moments of a pleasing image on his eyeballs can make a man’s day. Men are so visual. And so simple. And we women can all be so attractive to them.