Sex Secrets of an American Geisha (5 page)

Geisha Consciousness involves no secret manipulation of men, so once you think he may be the Good Man you wish to consider for a long-term relationship and marriage, buy him a fresh copy of this book and encourage him to read it and discuss it with you so that he may see the wonderful, lov ing, sexual future that your relationship has the potential to offer to the both of you.

Commitment and Sex

You have probably heard the expression “Why should he buy the cow when he’s getting the milk for free?”What your Geisha Consciousness knows and will subtly communicate to a man you are having a sexual relationship with, assuming he is a Good Man for you to marry, is that while the two of you are involved in quasi-committed dating, he is experiencing and receiving from you only the watery, low-fat, but somewhat tasty milk that the American Geisha makes available when her heart is not fully committed. With his greater commitment to you (and yours to him), which begins with your en gagement (with a ring and a set wedding date), he receives from you an in creased focus on his happiness, sexual and otherwise.

To carry the cow analogy forward, you will now provide his eager lips with the luscious taste of the cream from the top of the milk. Happily for him, your Geisha Consciousness holds still greater pleasures in store for him when you two are fully committed and settled into marriage. Then he will find that the cream he thought incredible has been surpassed by deli ciously sweet, rich butter.

In a word, your American Geisha expression of femininity and sexuality increases as you savor your Good Man’s deepening commitment to you. As he rewards you with greater commitment, you are inspired to bring to him more and more of the feminine love secrets that make up your Geisha Con sciousness. Without marriage, he doesn’t get the butter and cream of your femininity, the best and most joyously enthusiastic sex and intimacy that you can possibly offer him. It is not that you manipulate him with more and better sex as you both become more committed, but rather that he inspires you with his love and commitment to share with him even more of your in credible femininity. Let him know this.

The Biggest Difference Between an
American Geisha and an Asian Geisha

You offer more of your heart and soul and sexuality to your Good Man as you grow more deeply attached to and in love with him, and as he loves and commits to you more deeply. This is a distinct difference, the largest of dif ferences, between the Asian Geisha and you, the American Geisha. For the Asian Geisha, her interactions with men (which most often do not involve sex) are her profession; also, of course, she interacts with many men, with the goal of treating them all well. The Asian Geisha does not marry (and if she does, she often must retire as a geisha) and does not believe in romantic love between only two people, as this is not conducive to building her geisha-services business.

You, of course, wish ultimately to identify just one Good Man, fall mutually in love, and marry. As an American Geisha, you wish to take the Asian Geisha’s professional secrets and apply them to your personal life. The Asian Geisha entices and satisfies many men, but none may marry her (though they may become madly passionate to do so). On the other hand, you, the American Geisha, ultimately wish to entice and to satisfy and, yes, to marry only one man, your Good Man. You are sisters, the Asian Geisha and the American Geisha, although your ultimate goals (that is, a good business and a good marriage, respectively) are very different. I feel that I am a sister to you both, to the Asian Geisha and to the American Geisha. For you, I want to be your Older Sister, helping you to find the success I have found, while my knowledge and study of Asian Geisha make me feel like the Younger Sister to those practitioners of these ancient secret arts. Let your Older Sister help you attract, satisfy, and keep the Good Man that you want to marry. Let your Older Sister help you to become an American Geisha.

Reminders While Reading This Book

I suggest you do and remember the following things while reading this book:

• Decide that you want to be more beautiful and feminine, and com mit yourself to that goal.
  
• Accept me as your Older Sister trainer.
  
• See yourself as my Younger Sister American Geisha in training.
  
• Start to make plans to be married within twelve to eighteen months (unless you feel you need longer that that, in which case you should choose a time frame you are comfortable with).
  
• Be inspired by the concept of Geisha Femininity.
  
• Develop your Geisha Consciousness over time.
  
• Be more conscious of your expression of sexuality and femininity.
  
• Believe in the yin/yang of opposites attracting.
  
• Be careful and sure that you are involved with a Good Man.
  
• Increase your sexy femininity with a sense of class.
  
• Know that a Good Woman doesn’t manipulate men.
  
• Save the cream and the butter (and even the milk!) for a committed Good Man.
  
• Be happy and enthusiastic about the process of finding your way to a greater sexuality, love, and marriage.
  

Your Geisha Consciousness has begun to develop. You are moving to ward becoming an American Geisha.

A
s I said in the Introduction, despite the fact that the movie 9½ Weeks awakened my sexuality when I was twenty-three, I still didn’t know for many years what a really hot, sexual animal I was. I never got fully in touch with how much latent sexuality I had, or how much I loved to fuck and to be fucked. I missed so many years of pleasure. I don’t want you to miss any years or months, not even days. I want you to start today to get in touch with your body and your sexuality. Now, dear Younger Sister, now. I had to learn to be feminine and sexy in 1997 at age thirty-four, when I first started living alone, away from my family. I was much too late in learning about my physical body and what pleasured it. And I didn’t masturbate to get to know myself, as I will suggest that you do. I masturbated because my two longer-term boyfriends, Scott and Neil (names changed for their pri vacy), wouldn’t fuck me.

The Story of Scott In the summer of 1986

I met Scott while on a trip to Europe. During the two weeks we spent together in the Greek Islands, Scott accused me of having a too-tight vagina and suggested that I undergo surgery. Back home from the trip, I spent half a year putting one finger and then two fingers in my vaginal hole to stretch it so that Scott could get inside me when we saw each other again that winter. Scott lived in Scotland and I was in Los Ange les, more than five thousand miles apart. (This story is my husband’s fa vorite. He laughs hard in disbelief that a man would ever complain about a small, tight vagina.)

I kept up a long-distance relationship with Scott for three years al though I knew that our sex life was not good at all. (I didn’t know that Scott, only forty-four, had an erectile dysfunction problem.) To me sex was just a tiny part of our relationship. Respecting and missing him were more valuable to me than sexual intercourse. You could say I was young and naïve. Or stupid.

In almost three years, Scott and I saw each other for only three vaca tions together. When I finally ended the relationship, I quickly (without taking any quiet time to consider what I had done wrong with Scott or what I wanted out of my next relationship) got involved for short periods of time with other inappropriate men, including one who was married.

The Story of Neil

In 1992 I met Neil in Los Angeles. Neil’s ever-present depression and my constant pressure to keep a dying relationship alive meant we had almost no intercourse after the first year of our five-year relationship. I insisted on maintaining the relationship although Neil never even acknowledged that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, only “friends.” I often gave Neil a hand job or a blow job, and he’d come. Then he’d say to me, “Why don’t you use the vibrator?”—meaning by myself. He wouldn’t participate at all, despite having just received a very enthusiastic, energetic—if unskilled—blow job from a very hot woman. I wound up frustrated and at times begging him for sex, which he chose to dispense to me at about the rate (and I’m gener ous here) of once a month or less; and, sorry, no cunnilingus, ever! My vagina ached for his tongue but never knew that touch, though I gave him countless blow jobs. Not fair, Neil.

In the last of our three years of dating before Neil left for Korea to teach English, we had sex about once every three months. While Neil hardly ever fucked me, I found in his suitcase just before he left for Korea about fifty condoms and three books on how to make love to a woman. My heart felt so sad. I’m still sad when I think of how I allowed myself so many years with these two men who failed to fulfill my animal sexuality. So many years with Wrong Men.

Your Self-Love Sessions:

Self-Examination and Masturbation

I believe that all women are, by definition, sexual animals as one important part of their total selves. This chapter will help you to get in touch with and express that lustful animal nature in you. You’ll experience the power of your sexuality. And later you will learn that the combination of your femi ninity and your sexuality is a vital aspect of love and marriage with a Good Man. You’ll see how your femininity and sexuality can be so important in attracting, satisfying, and keeping your Good Man. Unlike me, you will be fully aware of your sexual potential and will pursue relationships only with Good Men who, as an important part of your total relationship, will want to satisfy your sexuality, and often.

Your journey to discovering and experiencing your beauty, femininity, and sexuality while searching for love and marriage with a Good Man starts today, as you read right now. Hold this book with one hand and keep read ing. With the other hand, stroke over or under your clothes the area of your clitoris and vagina. Go ahead. Do it now, just for a moment, just to get started today on your journey. (Of course, you want privacy, so listen for approaching roommates, spouse, or kids.)

Feel a bit outrageous as you play with yourself. To be hot and sexy, it is necessary to have many sexual experiences—both alone and with a Good Man—and to reach orgasm frequently; it is necessary to be able to fully ex plore your animal, sexual nature and desires. Of course, all human beings are sexual animals, just like all other animals. We are also a “higher” animal. I’m afraid we emphasize the “higher” a bit too much and tend to live our lives out of our brains, out of our “higher” intelligence. We don’t get into our bodies often enough—into our “lower,” but so sexy, selves.

Begin this sexual exploration now, today, before you begin your search for your man. Begin now if you are dating. Even if you are currently in a monogamous relationship or marriage, right now you want to begin actively to explore your deepest, most animal sexual needs. It is important to begin to explore your femininity and sexuality so that you can become comfort able (and proud!) of your vagina and your physical, animal sexual desires. If your journey to marriage is to be a twelve to eighteen-month undertaking, then the first day you stroke your vagina and use your mirror to examine it is Day One of that journey.