Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey (59 page)

I really didn't want to think about Lucy
fucking that douchebag in the bathroom, but a few days earlier, she
and I had taken a shower together in her room at the Super 8, and
when her pimp G-Force unexpectedly came back to the room, she gave
me a blowjob in the shower, while G-Force was sitting on the bed,
watching TV.

I tried to convince myself that she wasn't
doing the same damn thing with Wigger right now, and that they were
probably just talking in the bathroom. Negotiating about drugs or
something.

Finally they came out of the bathroom. I
asked Lucy if she was ready to go see her sister now. She said no,
she wanted to smoke more crack now. I was so fed up, I left. It was
midnight.

Around 3 am, she called me and asked me if I
would drive her to the hospital the next morning. I said yes. At 8
am she called me and told me that Wigger would drive her instead. I
said: "Fine. Whatever," and went back to sleep.

Later that day I was in the mall. Lucy
called me, but there was a lot of noise, so I didn't answer. About
half an hour later, after I left the mall, I called her back.
Wigger answered her phone. He told me she had called me while
getting arrested for drug possession, and she was on her way to
jail now.

It had barely been a week since Veronica had
been arrested at my house, and now Lucy was in jail, too. And Haley
had been in jail for months already. Haley and Lucy were in dorm 1,
the trustee dorm. Trustees are inmates who work in the laundry
room, or the kitchen. Or they clean. They get preferential
treatment and double food rations. Veronica was in dorm 4.

I hadn't talked to Haley in a few months,
after I changed my number for Veronica, so other girls couldn't
call me anymore. But after Veronica ran off, and I started seeing
Lucy, I had sent a thank you note to some of the 14 girls who had
warned me about Veronica. Snitching is frowned upon in jail, even
though pretty much all of them have turned each other in at some
point or another to collect the Crimestoppers reward.

Anyway, I wanted them to know that they did
the right thing, because telling a guy his girl is cheating on him
and that she's only pretending to be pregnant is not snitching, but
looking out for someone. It's a good thing. It's an act of
kindness. It should be rewarded. So I felt the least I could do is
write them a thank you note. I had also written Haley, and given
her my new number.

Now I had Haley, Veronica, and Lucy call me
from jail every day. This was getting crazy. And all these Global
Tel collect calls were getting expensive.

Veronica really didn't like that I talked to
Haley occasionally. But she hated that I was talking to Lucy now,
too. She said it made her look bad in jail, that her man was
talking to other girls in there.

Yupp... I was dating a crackwhore who never
passed up a chance to cheat on me, and then she told me I was
making HER look bad. Alrighty then. Suffer from cognitive
dissonance much?

I told her that she shouldn't worry about
their opinions. Who cares what the other inmates think? Their
opinion was of no consequence. She was never going to see any of
them again, once she got out and lived a sober life with me in
Bonita Springs, far away from the cheap motels on 41 and Palm
Beach.

Veronica and Lucy ended up going to court on
the same day, so they sat in the holding cell together for a few
hours. They talked and got along. Afterwards Veronica told me she
would like to be in a threeway relationship with me and Lucy. She
said she'd still like to fuck her, and that way I could fuck both
of them. I didn't like that idea at all at this point, because they
were both in jail, and I was out here. So this would end up being
Veronica and Lucy dating each other in jail, and having sex
together, while I sat out here with my thumb up my ass. No thank
you.

When Lucy called me, I asked her about that
whole threeway relationship business. She laughed and said:
"Veronica is crazy. I don't want to date her. And I don't want to
share you with her or anyone else. I love you and I want you all to
myself."

Inmates in Lee County Jail have to make a
visitor list. They can put up to five people on their list, and
then only these five people can visit them. But during their first
week in jail, they are allowed to see visitors without making a
list, because it takes the jail a while to process the paperwork.
Lucy asked me to come see her for her first visit, and to set up
the second visit for her aunt Nicole. She told me to put my own
name down for the second visit as well, just in case Nicole didn't
show up. She never did in the past, so Lucy figured she wouldn't
show up this time either. She was right.

When I told Veronica that Lucy wanted me to
come see her, I figured she'd be ok with it, since she wanted all
three of us to be in a relationship together anyway. But Veronica
flipped out. She was very jealous and said it would really hurt her
feelings, if I went to visit Lucy. Veronica said I was the only
person who came to visit her, and I was not allowed to visit anyone
else.

So I didn't go to my viso with Lucy. She
called me up afterwards and she was crying: "Why didn't you come
see me? I thought you love me. I have nobody else."

I felt terribly guilty. I didn't realize it
would hurt her this much if I didn't show up. I told her I was
sorry, and that I didn't expect Veronica to get so upset about me
visiting Lucy. I told her I would come see her the next day, with
her aunt Nicole.

Later that night some latin lady called me
from jail. She told me Lucy had asked her to call me, to convince
me to come see her. The lady said Lucy was crying because I didn't
come to the viso, and I was all she talked about. I promised the
lady that I wouldn't let Lucy down again.

Then Haley called me and asked me what all
the fuss was about, and why Lucy was crying all the time. Haley and
Lucy used to be friends when they had met each other in jail a year
or two earlier. But now they didn't talk to each other anymore,
because neither one of them wanted the other to call me. Haley and
her friends hated Lucy, because they felt she was making a move on
Haley's man: me.

This was all getting way too
complicated.

Gossip travels fast in jail. Everyone knows
everyone else's business. So it didn't take long until everyone in
dorm 1 and dorm 4 knew that Haley, Lucy and Veronica were all
calling me every day. Apparently the other inmates started to think
I was the most eligible bachelor in LCJ or something. And more and
more female inmates tried to contact me or pretended to know me, to
make themselves sound important. Girls I had never even met, never
even knew they existed, claimed to know me. They were telling
elaborate stories about having sex with me, or getting arrested at
my house, or whatever. It was bizarre. Suddenly I was a jailhouse
celebrity. Everyone knew the name Oliver.

Nicole and I made plans for me to pick her
up the next day, but then she blew me off, just like Lucy had
anticipated. Nicole said she might stop by at some point during the
viso and say hello. She didn't. The only people I know, who are
this unreliable, are addicts. So I had a feeling that Nicole had
relapsed.

Lucy was so happy to see me, she cried
again. She was just the sweetest little thing. I loved her so much.
She cried and smiled, cried and smiled, because I came to see her.
It almost made me cry. I wanted to give her a hug so badly. I
wanted her to know how much I cared about her. She told me she
didn't want me to talk to Haley or Veronica anymore. She wanted me
to be all hers.

When I talked to Veronica later, I was
honest and told her that I had visited Lucy, because she was so
upset. Veronica got really angry and told me she wanted me to
change my number again and not talk to Lucy, Haley or any other
girl anymore.

Then Lucy told me that everyone in jail knew
that Veronica was cheating on me the whole time again. As soon as
Veronica got back to jail, she started writing letters to Jasmine
in dorm 3 and told her she loved her and wanted to have a future
with her. And she was also writing love letters to Kathleen, her
pregnant roommate, who had been arrested by the U.S. Marshals.

I couldn't believe it. Not after Veronica
had told me all that stuff about how upset she was over being
ripped out of our life together, and that she had fallen in love
with me all over again, that she had learned her lesson, and she
would never write love letters to someone else or cheat on me
again.

And Lucy told me there were rumors that
Veronica was dating her bunkie Wendy. She used to be friends with
Jasmine in dorm 3, but then she was moved to dorm 4 and was now
sleeping in the bunk next to Veronica's. Wendy was an ugly,
freckle-faced, red-haired little troll. Veronica had mentioned her
to me on the phone a few times in the past few days, and asked me
to make calls for Wendy, because she couldn't get in touch with her
father, and her boyfriend wouldn't answer the phone or come to
viso.

In the past, when I was in New York, and
Veronica was supposedly dating Jasmine while living on Brantley
Road, but she had sex with a bunch of other people, I had written 2
or 3 postcards to Jasmine, to warn her about Veronica.

I told Jasmine that 14 people had warned me
about what a lying lowlife Veronica was, and that I was glad they
did. And I figured Jasmine had the right to know that Veronica had
not only been cheating on me and her jail girlfriend Kim with
Jasmine, but she was now cheating on Jasime with a bunch of other
people, including Kim, Kathleen, Anita, Nina, Shelly, Miriam,
Urban, and a few others. Veronica was still writing Kim love
letters in prison, to try to get her hands on her baby.

Veronica had called Crimestoppers on Nina to
collect the money, and Nina ended up in dorm 3 with Jasmine, and
told her that she had sex with Veronica. That's how Jasmine found
out that everything I had been telling her about Veronica was
really true. Jasmine wrote me back and told me that she was done
with her, and that she and I both deserved someone better than
Veronica. Jasmine said she was getting out of jail soon, and that
she was going to move to Key West with her mother 3 days later. She
said we should hook up during those 3 days, while she's still in
Fort Myers.

When Lucy told me that Veronica had been
writing love letters to Jasmine and Kathleen again ever since she
got arrested at my house, I just didn't want to believe it. I
decided to find out the truth for myself. I sent Jasmine a letter
and asked her if Veronica was writing her again. I figured she owed
me a favor, and she would tell me the truth. But Jasmine never
wrote me back.

Lucy asked: "If I can prove to you that
Veronica is really cheating on you again, and she's really writing
love letters to Jasmine and Kathleen, will you stop talking to her?
Will you break up with her for good this time and will you be my
boyfriend?"

I told her: "Yeah, if you can prove that,
then I want nothing to do with her anymore, and then I would love
to be your boyfriend."

The next day I was having lunch with George
at Cici's Pizza, when Lucy called and put some girl named Shondra
on the phone. She said she was a trustee who moves from dorm to
dorm, and she had passed a love letter from Veronica to Jasmine. I
told Lucy that I hoped she didn't make Shondra lie for her, because
that's the kind of grimey lowlife shit Veronica had done to me
several times in the past. Lucy swore that she didn't put Shondra
up to it, and that it was the truth.

The next morning I got a call from Jasmine.
She had been released from jail a few hours earlier. She said she
wanted to meet up with me, and she had something for me: a bunch of
love letters from Veronica.

A bunch? What the FUCK?!?

I met Jasmine at the Days Inn on 41, where
she was staying with her mother. We sat in the car and talked for a
while. She handed me Veronica's letters. I gave her the letters
Veronica had written me recently. We compared notes. Veronica was
telling each of us the same thing: I love you so much, I want to
have a future with you, you're all I think about, I've never felt
about anyone the way I feel about you, bla bla bla. Same old, same
old.

I told Jasmine I had to leave, because I was
about to have a viso with Veronica. Jasmine and I made plans to
spend the next day together.

When I went to see Veronica, the video
screens were broken. We couldn't see each other, but we could hear
each other. I held her love letters to Jasmine in my hands when I
asked her: "So have you written any letters to Jasmine or Kathleen
since you were arrested at my house?"

"No, absolutely not," she replied. "And if
anyone says that I did, they are lying!"

"You dumb cunt! I have your fucking letters
in my hand right now!! FUCK YOUUU! I'm so done with this shit," I
yelled and left.

Veronica called me later that night and
acted indignant: "At least you could have finished the viso with me
and let me explain. Ok, fine, yeah I wrote some letters to Jasmine.
But it's not like they were love letters. I was just talking to her
about some stuff, but I never wrote I love her or I still want to
be with her."

"Are you fucking RETARDED?" I screamed.
"That's EXACTLY what you wrote. You fucking wrote that you love her
and you still want to be with her!!! Seriously, what the fuck is
WRONG with you, you PSYCHO?"