Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey (54 page)

Veronica posted pictures of herself,
bragging about all the new clothes and shoes her dad had bought
her. It made me sick, how shallow and materialistic she was. All
she cared about was stuff. And what pissed me off even more was
that there was not a single word about me on her Facebook page. It
was like I never even existed. She didn't miss me at all. As soon
as she didn't need me to take care of her in jail anymore, I became
less than air. What a fucking lowlife she was.

I was so heartbroken when she just
disappeared, I couldn't think about anything else, until I met
Lucy. But Veronica couldn't care less about us breaking up. She was
back on drugs already.

Later I found out that ever since Kim had
been moved from Lee County Jail to the Lowell prison in Ocala in
February 2013, Veronica had started dating another girl behind my
back: Jasmine. Actually she had already been cheating on Kim with
Jasmine, but once Kim was out of the picture, Veronica was
officially dating Jasmine, while telling me that she was my loving,
faithful girlfriend and future wife, and while still writing Kim
letters at Lowell, and pretending that she was still with her. She
wanted to get her hands on Kim's baby.

Kim was going to give birth in prison soon.
Her parents knew the father was Lay-Z, that lowlife dope boy she
fucked in rehab, so they wanted nothing to do with the baby, and it
was going to be taken by DCF.

Veronica continued to tell Kim that she
wanted to raise Kim's baby together with her, once she got out of
jail. But she had really already moved on from Kim to Jasmine, and
now she planned to adopt Kim's baby, cut Kim off altogether, and
raise the baby as her own with Jasmine.

Veronica had endometriosis. It made her
periods very painful, and it caused scarring in her fallopian
tubes. There was a 50/50 chance she would never be able to get
pregnant. And the state was never going to allow her to adopt a
baby legally, because she had 3 strikes against her. She had a
history of drug addiction, she had hepatitis C, and she was a
convicted felon. So she figured her best bet to have a baby was to
take someone else's.

I was being nosy and looked at her Facebook
page ever other day or so. I could tell by the things she was
posting that she was back on drugs. She brazenly posted pictures of
herself making out with several drug addicted guys and girls, even
though she supposedly was in a relationship with Jasmine. She was
totally reckless and selfish. Veronica didn't care if anyone told
Jasmine that she was cheating on her. She figured she could talk
her way out of it. And the whole thing with Jasmine was really just
another one in the endless list of her shallow, fake, meaningless
relationships anyway.

A few months earlier, while she was still in
dorm 2 in jail, she had sent me some of her rehab worksheets. One
of them was about all the things a drug addict has to avoid to
prevent a relapse. But now her Facebook posts showed that she was
breaking every single one of the rules she needed to follow in
order not to relapse. She was hanging out with all her old drug
addict friends, she hung out with her mother Rachel who was her
biggest trigger, she drank alcohol, and so on and so forth.

Then Veronica posted a picture of a new
tattoo she got on her wrist, with Jasmine's name. In jail she had
told so many different people that she was going to get a tattoo
with their name, and now that she was out, she really got one. But
instead of my name, it was Jasmine's.

I thought I was over and done with her, but
seeing that tattoo really hurt. I lost it. I hated her sooo fucking
much. I wrote her a nasty message on Facebook and cursed her out. I
couldn't help myself. I needed to vent my utter contempt for
her.

Veronica wrote back, but she really didn't
make much sense. I could tell she was high. Some of what she wrote
was arrogant like she didn't give a shit about me, and in other
parts she wrote that she really did love me and she was sorry she
ran off like that.

I found out later that some drug dealing
nigger, who called himself Urban, had written her a postcard two
weeks before she was released from jail and told her he would "help
her out" by giving her lots of drugs once she got out.

I realized that for most of her time in
jail, she had been on the fence about whether she should really
come home and live sober with me, like she told me, or move into
the empty apartment her dad got her and live there unsupervised, so
she could do whatever she wanted, without anyone giving her a hard
time about doing drugs. Once she got the postcard from Urban, her
mind was made up. That's when she first told me that I shouldn't
pick her up from jail, because her dad was coming to town to pick
her up.

As soon as she got out, and hung out with
her mother, she relapsed. She was taking Xanax and drinking, just
like Rachel. Then she started dating Urban and had sex with him to
get crack and heroin, while still pretending to be dating Jasmine,
because she didn't want any of her so-called friends to know that
she wasn't really making money selling drugs, but sucking a dope
boy's dick for drugs. She wanted to appear like a successful
hustler, not like a loser crackwhore.

Officially Urban was just her "best friend."
But they had sex every day, and she told him that she loved him and
wanted to have a baby with him. She got his name tattooed on her
ankle. She told me later that she was high as a kite when she got
the tattoos with Jasmine's and Urban's names and she couldn't
believe she'd do something so stupid, because she didn't really
care about either one of them. I guess she just fell into the same
old rut of dating a dope boy and a crackwhore at the same time,
like she always had in the past.

But while she was supposedly dating them,
she was having sex with a bunch of other people. She was tricking
with at least half a dozen guys and had sex with a couple of girls
in exchange for giving them drugs. It was sad and pathetic, but she
thought she was pimpin'.

At some point I guess she really did start
to miss me, and she kept trying to find excuses to write me text
messages to ask me pointless questions. Then she told me that she
really loved me and wanted to prove it to me by paying me back all
the money I had put on her books while she was in jail.

She said she'd start paying me back at least
$30 every week and that all I had to do was come to her apartment
and pick it up in person. I knew it was really just her way of
trying to have me back in her life. She wanted to see me so badly,
she was willing to pay me to come see her, just like she was paying
the girls she had sex with by feeding them drugs she had gotten
from Urban for sucking his dick.

But she had hurt me so badly, I hated her
guts. I never wanted to see her again. I told her I appreciated the
gesture, but that there was no need for me to pick up the money in
person. She could send it by Western Union, or mail me a check, or
send it via Paypal, or load it on a Green Dot card for me. But she
kept telling me that all that was too difficult, and I should just
come to her place and get it in person. Finally I told her that I
wasn't even in Florida. I had been in New York for the past few
weeks, ever since Lucy went to jail. I didn't tell Veronica about
Lucy yet though.

I started to feel bad for Veronica, because
I knew that under her fake front, she was miserable with her life.
I knew she regretted her decision to run off like that after she
got out of jail. And she was ashamed that she had relapsed so
quickly. I told her a few times that I could tell by the way she
sounded on the phone, and by her Facebook messages, and the odd
pauses between her text messages, that she was using drugs again.
But she kept denying it and pretended that everything was great,
and she was clean. We started talking to each other more and more
again.

Then one day she posted on Facebook that she
really really wanted to have a baby. It made me pretty emotional to
read that, because we had talked about having a baby together for
the past year and a half. That thought doesn't just go away from
one minute to the next. So I asked her if she still wanted to have
a baby together.

She was really happy and said yes. But she
was also scared, because she was afraid it was some sort of trap,
and I was going to get her hopes up, and then hurt her really badly
somehow to get revenge for what she did to me. I promised her that
I wasn't playing any games, and that I was just as serious about
having a baby with her as she was. We made plans for me to return
to Fort Myers as soon as possible, and stay with her at her
apartment on Brantley Road. We would have sex every day, until she
was pregnant.

I asked her what she was going to tell her
so-called girlfriend Jasmine. She told me she'd figure something
out. I could tell she really wasn't all that worried about Jasmine,
because the whole relationship really was just fake bullshit, even
though Veronica didn't want to admit it. But it was really just her
excuse for why she didn't come home to live sober with me. As long
as she supposedly was in a relationship with someone else, she had
an excuse to keep living on Brantley Road, and do drugs.

Later I found out that Veronica had 2
roommates: Anita and Kathleen. Kathleen was very very pregnant, and
Veronica had been hitting on her, had sex with her while she was
pregnant, and told her she wanted to have a relationship with her
and raise her baby with her.

And Veronica had sex with one of her old
girlfriends, Shelly, who was also about to give birth in a few
weeks. Veronica also told her that she loved her, wanted to have a
future with her, and raise her baby with her. She was fishing
again, hoping to get her hands on at least one of all these babies
that were about to be born.

"I'm addicted and I don't know why

Guess I've always been this way

All these roads steer me wrong

But I still drive them all night long, all night
long

All you young wild girls

You make a mess of me

Yeah, you young wild girls

You'll be the death of me, the death of me"

Bruno Mars

Kathleen had a warrant and was hiding from
the police. The U.S. Marshals raided Veronica's apartment and
arrested Kathleen. She was in jail before I got back to Fort
Myers.

When I arrived at Veronica's apartment, she
opened the door with a shy smile. She was white as a ghost, had
dark rings under her eyes and scabs all over her face. She looked
like shit.

I gave her a hug and said: "Let's just get
this out of the way... I know you're using again, so don't even
bother pretending you're clean."

First she tried to deny it. Then she
admitted she had been smoking crack "here and there, but not all
the time, and not in a couple of days." I knew she was lying,
because her scabs were so fresh, some of them were still bleeding.
She probably took a hit of crack right before she opened the door
for me.

It had been two months since she got out of
jail. Now that she stood in front of me, I realized how much I had
missed her. I couldn't help it. When I get attached to someone, I
get really really attached. It is almost impossible for me to let
go. And even after everything that had happened, after everything
she did, I still loved her.

I quickly realized that her apartment was
now a trap house. People were coming and going 24/7 to buy or sell
drugs. People were smoking crack around the clock. Hookers used the
bedrooms to trick. Her roommate Anita was also a drug addicted
hooker, and she had guys over and had sex with them right there in
the apartment. Veronica told me that she wasn't doing anything like
that. She claimed she was making money selling drugs. But later I
found out that was all bullshit. She had sex with a bunch of guys,
even while I was staying with her. She tried to hide it from me,
but it was only a matter of time before I realized what was going
on. It broke my heart all over again.

While she was hiding the fact that she was
having sex with other guys behind my back, she was open about
having sex with several girls. She was so badly on drugs, her brain
was not working right. She couldn't even feel her own feelings,
never mind empathize with someone else's. It simply didn't register
in her brain, how badly she was hurting me whenever she told me
that she wanted to have sex with this girl or that girl. She
thought as long as we had sex every day, I would be ok with her
sleeping around. She just wasn't used to someone really caring
about her and about what she did.

It was exhausting for me to be around all
these crackheads, because they never went to sleep. Before I got
there, I thought Veronica and I would have some private time at
night, to cuddle up and watch movies in bed, but she and the others
smoked crack all night, until the sun came up. They stayed up for
days at a time. Veronica and I usually had to sneak into the
bedroom for a few minutes at some point during the day, to try to
make a baby, while people were in the other rooms, smoking
crack.

Every time Veronica promised that we'd have
a night to ourselves, she'd just end up smoking crack with a bunch
of people. I got pissed, and went home. I needed some sleep. But
the next day I came back to her place. This went on for a couple of
days.

One day, after Veronica and I finished
having sex, she was lying in bed next to me as usual, with her
knees pulled up to her chest, because resting in that position for
a few minutes afterwards was supposed to make it easier for my
sperm to travel through her cervix, and help her conceive. Then she
asked me if I'd like to watch her fuck her roommate Anita. Anita
was a pretty 27 year old blonde. Under any other circumstances I
probably would have liked to see her naked. But the thought of
watching Veronica cheat on me wasn't appealing at all.