Seeing Shadows (6 page)

Jonathan graduating had relieved me of the awkward position of repeatedly turning him down, but I still had Samantha to contend with. She never outright said anything rude to me because she knew that even though I tended to be more reserved, I wasn't someone that would back down from a challenge. But I could tell from the way I caught her looking at me sometimes that she was not happy to be around me.

Samantha wasn't really a part of our group, but she was in the School of Education alongside Marcus. They had a lot of classes together and had struck up a friendship. Probably because Marcus was too nice to everyone. As a result, she was an infrequent member of our group. Jenny and Sarah weren't crazy about her either. They valued female friendships and Samantha was the type of girl who only had guy friends. I think the closest female friends she had was us, which wasn't saying much. But we put up with her because Marcus said she was okay and meant no harm. Men were really clueless sometimes.

"Hi Samantha," Marcus said in greeting. She came up between Marcus and Simon, and looked at Simon as I imagined a wolf would look at a sheep.

"Who's this?" she asked breathily, leaning towards Simon.

"That's Simon, my cousin," Grant answered. "He just transferred here."

"Simon," Samantha cooed. "It's
so
nice to meet you. I'm Samantha."

Simon stood and smiled, nodding his head. "Hey. Nice to meet you." I guess he really was a gentleman, standing up to greet her. I couldn't help but feel a little twist in my stomach to realize his chivalry wasn't reserved just for me.

Samantha grasped his outstretched hand, shaking it slowly. Simon politely extracted his hand after a moment and sat back down, glancing over at my glass. "Looks like you need a refill."

Samantha pouted as she glanced over at me. She was used to getting a lot of attention from men and Simon's lack of interest grated on her. I couldn't lie that it didn't make me extremely happy.

I covered the top of my glass with my hand as Simon picked up the pitcher. "I still have a few sips left. Besides, early night, remember?"

Simon grabbed the glass from beneath my hand before I could stop him. "Early night means a couple of drinks. Couple of drinks means two. Besides, I'm trying to impress you, remember? Maybe buying you two drinks instead of one will do the job."

I tried to suppress a smile, and then glanced up at Samantha, who was now glaring at me.

"I don't think beer is going to impress me but I'll take a second one. But that's it." I tried to sound stern but I couldn't deny the little bubble of giddiness I felt at Simon's attention.

Simon passed the glass back to me, now full of beer. Marcus turned around to look up at Samantha. "How'd you do on the developmental psych exam today?" Marcus was getting a degree to become a teacher and the profession really suited him. His gentleness and patience would make him an excellent teacher.

Samantha pulled her gaze to Marcus. "Okay, I guess. Half the questions didn't even make sense. After a while, I just started guessing."

Jenny rolled her eyes. Even though Jenny claimed that she didn't feel anything towards Marcus, I couldn't help but notice that she disliked Samantha more than Sarah and I did. I think it had a little something to do with Samantha's friendship with Marcus.

"Hey Sammy!" a guy called out from across the bar. "Get your sweet ass over here."

Samantha giggled. "Excuse me, my prince awaits." She looked down at Simon. "It was
so
nice meeting you, I'm sure we'll bump into each other again."

Simon smiled and nodded. "Sure. Nice meeting you."

Even though Simon was just being polite, I couldn't help frowning. It wasn't nice to meet her. Was it?

I banished the dangerous thoughts bordering on jealousy from my head. Simon was going to be a
friend.
Friends could be interested in whomever they wanted. I told myself the only reason I was concerned was because Simon deserved better than Samantha. I wondered if her tight clothing cut off her circulation and that was the reason she was unpleasant to be around. Although the unpleasant side of her only seemed to be reserved for the female persuasion.

"God, Marcus," Sarah groaned once Samantha was out of earshot. "Why do you even like her?"

"She's okay," Marcus said generously. "I don't think she has a lot of friends."

"Oh, she has
friends
, alright," Jenny said, her voice uncharacteristically dripping with sarcasm. Jenny was usually as kind as Marcus but Samantha seemed to hit a sore spot. "She has lots of
friends.
All male."

Grant laughed and drained his glass. "You girls are crazy. Girls make everything so complicated."

"
We
don't make it complicated," Sarah defended. "
She
makes it complicated. Ever since Jonathan started following Caitlin around-"

"Okay, okay," I interrupted, waving my hands. "Enough talk about Samantha. Who cares about Samantha."

Simon looked over at me, a frown on his face. "Who's Jonathan?"

"He was obsessed with Caitlin," Jenny breathed out dramatically, leaning forward. "I mean, everywhere we would go - there he was. I swear, he was like a stalker. Thank God he graduated last year. If not, he'd probably be here hiding behind the bar, peering at her."

I laughed awkwardly. "You'll have to excuse Jenny. She has a vivid imagination." I glared at Jenny and kicked her under the table.

"Ow," Grant exclaimed, bending down to rub his shin. "That hurt."

Sarah started laughing loudly. "Sorry," I muttered, taking a sip of my beer. Apparently Jenny's aim was better than mine.

Sarah led the topic onto the band's first performance next weekend, knowing that I was feeling uncomfortable and having pity on me. Sarah knew me better than anyone else, even if I was still hiding a few things from her. Like the fact that I was having visions again.

As the chatter carried on around me, I studiously avoided looking at Simon and chimed in with comments when appropriate, although my heart really wasn't in the conversation. I was too busy trying not to look in Simon's direction.

I was successful until Marcus, who had been sitting to the left of me, got up to go to the bathroom. Simon proceeded to move over and plop down onto his vacated seat.

"So," he said conversationally. "Who's Jonathan?

I gaped at him. Were we still on this? "Um, just some guy who graduated last year."

"Did you guys date?" Simon asked, casually laying his arm on the back of my chair.

"Isn't that kind of personal?" I was cautious, not sure how to maneuver this conversation.

"I don't know, is it?" he asked cryptically. Simon spoke lightly but he was watching me closely.

I didn't know how to answer so I decided to go for the truth but with very little detail. "He was just interested in me but he wasn't my type, that's all. Everyone's making it into a bigger deal than it was." Although it
had
been a little creepy the way Jonathan would always show up wherever I was. But I didn't really want to go into it with Simon.

Simon leaned back smiling, his arm still around my chair. "What's your type?"

I felt myself losing control of the conversation and tried to reign it back in. I looked around at the rest of the table, but everyone was too busy arguing the merits of some band to pay attention to us.

"I don't have a type," I replied slowly. "I'm not really looking to get involved right now. School is enough and this is our last year. I want to just concentrate on graduating and having fun with my friends."

"We could have fun," he replied, his mouth crooking up in a half-smile.

"Sure," I said with an edge. "As
friends.
I don't have time for anything else except friends." There was a warning in my voice that if we weren't friends, we weren't going to be anything else.

"That sounds good to me," Simon said innocently. He then cocked his head with a small smile. "For now."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything at all. I took a sip of my beer to have something to do and then leaned forward, joining the conversation at the table and trying to ignore the presence beside me.

**********

The night flew by quickly and before I knew it, it was almost midnight. Simon seemed to have backed off and I was relieved that we were just interacting as friends. I told myself that I didn't feel the least bit disappointed. Not in the least.

I learned that Simon and Grant had pretty much grown up together, since they lived so close to each other and were the same age. I knew Grant came from a wealthy family, but it seemed by Grant's comments that Simon came from an even wealthier family, although Simon downplayed it. Simon's father and Grant's mother were siblings, so Simon's last name was Crewe instead of Matthews, like Grant. Simon had a younger sister in high school and it sounded as if they were close. I had always wished for a sibling growing up since I felt so isolated from my father. I envied anyone who had a sibling they could confide in. I was lucky I had Sarah though. She really did feel like my sister.

I watched in amusement as Sarah flirted with Grant, putting a hand on his arm and brushing her hair as she spoke to him. Grant wasn't exactly oblivious and flirted back, although he kept it casual. I knew they had kissed once in the past, but that had been a while ago and they had both been drunk. Grant had a rocky relationship with his ex-girlfriend Cara, and I really wished that he would give Sarah a chance for something more than a flirtation. At the same time, I wished Sarah would give up this infatuation with Grant and move on. It was painful for me to see her interested in someone that didn't reciprocate her feelings. Sarah downplayed Grant's lack of real interest and made it seem like it was just a fun game for her, but I knew that she felt hurt by it.

Simon shared that he had been pre-law at Yale, but it had only been at his father's insistence. He had agreed to try it for a few years because his father was convinced that Simon would soon see the value of practicing law, but after three years, his father had finally relented and agreed that he would support Simon changing his major, as well as schools.

That's how Simon put it, but Grant implied that Simon's father had no choice but to relent; otherwise, Simon would have gone off on his own anyways.

I wondered what it was like to have a father that thought so much of your potential, even if it caused Simon to butt heads with him, instead of a father who seemed convinced of your lack of potential. Whenever my father asked me how I was doing in school and I shared that I was making high marks, he answered that of course I would be. After all, the business school at Maxwell wasn't the top in the nation, never mind that it was still well respected. I didn't mention that I had been accepted to plenty of other schools that were more prestigious, but Maxwell had given me the biggest scholarship and that had made my decision for me. I didn't want to throw my father's lack of financial support in his face, despite the fact that he didn't seem to hesitate to say hurtful things to me.

"Okay," I announced. "That's it for me. It's almost midnight and Cinderella needs to get home."

"Yeah, I'm with you," Marcus said. "Let's head back. If I stay any longer, soccer practice is going to kill me tomorrow."

Marcus stood up as I did. Simon also stood up beside me. He had never relinquished Marcus' seat back to him and Marcus didn't seem to mind since that put him next to Jenny.

"I think I'm going to head back too," Simon said, glancing at me. "I'm still recovering from the move here."

"Aw man, come on," Grant protested. "The night is still young and there's more pitchers to be had. We haven't even played pool yet."

Sarah looked up at me. "You want me to come home with you?" she inquired.