Seeing Shadows (5 page)

Even though I enjoyed hanging out with my friends, I was acutely aware that I needed alone time as well. Sarah enjoyed being constantly surrounded by people, which was good for me because it forced me to interact more than I would have on my own, and I found that I actually enjoyed it. But I also needed time to just decompress on my own. When I was alone, I didn't have to worry that I might say something that would reveal how much of a weirdo I really was.

"Okay, I promise I won't," Sarah said, laughing. "Anyway, how could little ol' me twist your arm?"

"Ha," I said with a disbelieving snort. "You have your ways."

Sarah was interrupted from having to defend her innocence by Janice. Janice had been working at the East End for ages. I guessed that she looked older than she actually was, having lived hard and fast. Her raspy voice was evidence of her heavy smoking habit, and her heavy makeup aged her even more. But she was a sweetheart and was a fixture at the East End, just like Charlie.

"Hi y'all," she drawled. "What'll you be having?"

"Let's get a couple pitchers of beer," Grant said, looking around the table. "How about Brooklyn Lager?" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Gotcha," Janice replied. She looked over at Jenny. "How about you, little thing?"

Jenny pouted. She was the only one out of our group that wasn't twenty-one yet. Fortunately, her birthday was only a couple of weeks away, but in the meantime there was no way Janice was serving her alcohol. The East End had a policy of admitting kids eighteen and older but you still had to be twenty-one to drink. They made the underage kids wear a neon green bracelet to differentiate them, but Jenny usually escaped having to wear one since she was a regular. That being said, since she was a regular, all the workers knew she was under twenty-one and there was no way she was being served. That didn't stop her from trying every time.

"Oh, fine," Jenny relented. "I'll have a diet coke. But my birthday is coming up soon. And then I'm going to blow it out!"

Janice chuckled. "Sure thing, little thing. But until then, diet coke it is."

As Janice walked away, Sarah leaned forward. "How much have you guys practiced together already?" she asked.

"We jammed yesterday and the day before," Marcus answered. "But like Grant said earlier, I visited him a few times this past summer and we practiced a lot then. It was easy since Simon lives so close to Grant."

Grant had mentioned earlier that he and Simon lived in neighboring towns in Connecticut and Marcus was pretty close by in New Jersey. In fact, all of us were East Coasters, although Jenny was much further down south in Florida. Sarah lived in Westchester, right outside of New York City. I had spent a lot of time at her house, since I avoided my home as much as possible. My father didn't make it easy to be under his roof and it was just easier to stay at Sarah's house. Her life was so normal. Her parents were normal. Her younger sister was normal. I appreciated normal as much as I could get.

"I'm so excited to hear you guys play," squealed Jenny with enthusiasm. Marcus smiled as he looked at Jenny. Her enthusiasm was as much a part of her as was his quiet demeanor. It really was a shame that Marcus couldn't get the guts to ask her out.

"Yeah," Sarah chimed in. "And I bet Joel can't wait to start raking in the dough again." She looked over at Grant. "All the girls have been missing your drumming solos." She smiled coyly. The flirtatious lilt in her voice unmistakable and Grant grinned, winking at her.

"What about you?" Simon asked with a half-grin, leaning slightly forward to look at me since Marcus was sitting between us. "Are you excited about hearing the reinvention of the Henchmen?"

I shrugged. "Sure, why not. I'm sure you guys will be good," I said noncommittally.

"Good?" Grant exclaimed. "We're great! Even better than before. Abe was a great singer, but Simon kills it. Plus he blows Mike out of the water on guitar. Even Joel was impressed when we were practicing yesterday. And he's never impressed."

Simon smiled. "We don't want to build up their expectations too much and set them up for disappointment. Let's not make me the second coming of Jim Morrison. We make a good team, but we'll see how the fans react."

Simon's modesty was a strange mix with his arrogance. When I had just decided that he was full of himself, he would make a self-deprecating comment that would endear me to him.

Friends,
I thought to myself emphatically.
Just friends.

Janice interrupted the conversation by setting two pitchers of beer on the table alongside five glasses. "I'll be right back with your soda, honey," she said to Jenny and walked back to the bar.

Grant and Simon started pouring beers, joking about who poured the best glass with the least amount of foam.

"Here," Simon said, passing a beer to me, reaching over Marcus. "I promised to buy you a drink."

"Well, technically you haven't paid for the drink yet, but we'll call it even," I said with a smile.
Friends.

Simon laughed. "Well, to make sure it counts I'll pay for all the pitchers tonight."

"
You don't need to do that to impress Caitlin," Jenny said with a impish grin. "Nothing impresses her."

Sarah snorted and I shot her a dirty look. I turned back to Jenny. "Lots of things impress me. Your silence would impress me."

Simon grinned. "I'll have to think of some ways to impress you then."

I cleared my throat self-consciously. I needed to steer this back into the friend zone. "So, how's the apartment search going?" I asked, trying to change the topic.

"Not so great," Simon answered. "Since it's already a couple of months into the school year, there doesn't seem to be a lot of availability. I've looked at a few places but unless I want cockroaches as roommates, I'll have to keep looking."

"I keep telling him that he can stay as long as he wants at our place," Grant said.

"Yeah, it's nice having someone around who actually does the dishes," Marcus joked.

"Hey, I do the dishes!" Grant protested. "I don't know why they need to be done the same day as I use them."

"Or the same week," Marcus deadpanned.

Simon laughed. "I really want to get my stuff out of storage and have my own space. I really appreciate Grant and Marcus putting me up, but I'm sure they want full use of their couch."

"If it ever gets too crowded, one of you can stay at our place," Sarah said, winking at Grant. Grant grinned in return. Although he never seemed to actively encourage Sarah's flirtation, he seemed to enjoy the attention.

"Sure," I said dryly. "You'll just have permanent back injuries from our couch." Our couch was a futon and was well worn. Although it was comfortable enough to sit on, sleeping on it was a different matter. There were a few strategically placed springs that jutted out, ensuring anyone who slept there an impending spinal injury.

"No kidding," Jenny concurred. "I've tried it and I don't recommend it if you value your back."

Janice came back and plunked a glass of soda in front of Jenny. "Someone looking for an apartment?" she asked.

"I am," Simon answered. "You know of anything?"

Janice was a valuable source of information since she overheard everything at the East End. She seemed to know more than anyone else about the lives of Maxwell students.

"Sherry Campbell is moving out of her place," Janice informed us. "She's flunking out and her parents are yanking her back home to go to school there. She only came back this year on a trial basis and she's already messin' up so she's gone."

"That's right on our street!" Sarah squealed. "Perfect!"

Sherry Campbell lived down the street from us on Martin Street. She was a nice girl but she partied way too hard. She came from a very affluent family in Boston and it didn't seem as though she took school very seriously. Even though she was only a sophomore, she had lived in an off-campus apartment since her freshman year, somehow circumventing the rule that first year students had to live in campus housing. I'm sure her parents' money had something to do with it. We had gotten to know her since we had started living on Martin Street at the same time, but she was a bit too much of a hardcore party girl for me.

"Do you know when she's moving out?" Simon asked.

"End of the month," Janice replied. "Her parents are looking for someone to sublet for the rest of the school year."

"Have you guys ever been to her apartment?" Simon asked, but looking directly at me.

"Yeah, we've been there for a couple of parties," I replied. "It's really nice. Probably the nicest apartment on our block. It's a two bedroom but she's lived there alone since her roommate transferred last year after the first semester. It has a killer kitchen too."

Simon smiled. "Maybe you can make your garbage cookies for me there."

I coughed mid-sip of my beer. "Uh, let's see if you actually get the apartment first."

"Here, let me give you Sherry's number," Sarah said, scrolling through her cell phone. "I have it saved."

Simon pulled out his cell phone and took the number that Sarah dictated.

"I'll give you my phone number too, in case you need it," Sarah offered. She then smiled mischievously. "Let me give you Caitlin's too. You never know when you'll need her."

I placed my glass loudly on the table. "Since when is my phone number public knowledge?" I asked accusingly.

"Caitlin," Sarah lectured. "We have to make Simon feel welcome. And it's hard adjusting to a new school." She smiled wickedly. "Besides, maybe
you'll
need to contact him someday. You should take his number too. You can never have enough strong men at your beck and call."

"Oh my God," I muttered. "Whatever. Fine. Just write my number on the bathroom wall and be done with it."

"I wouldn't want that to happen," Simon said smiling, but his blue eyes were looking at me a little too seriously. "You're too special to have your name plastered in the guy's bathroom. And too many guys would be calling you then."

I cleared my throat, not knowing what to say as I felt warmth creeping up my face.

"Okay," Sarah said. "Here it is."

I
sat stupidly while Sarah gave Simon all of our numbers, including Jenny's and Sherry Campbell's. I didn't even say a word when Sarah grabbed my phone and programmed Simon's number into it. I felt someone kick my leg and I looked over at Jenny since it seemed to come from her direction. She was wiggling her eyebrows like she was possessed and grinning like a madman.

I rolled my eyes and looked away. I needed to establish the friendship boundary sooner rather than later. It wasn't as if this was something new. When a guy was interested, I would smoothly transition him to friend mode with ease. But no one had affected me like Simon before. He was making me feel nervous and clumsy. My attempts at being funny seemed a little too sharp but he didn't seem to take offense. I convinced myself that I was reacting differently to Simon because he had been in my vision.

"I'll give her a call tomorrow," Simon said. "It would be a pretty lucky break if I was able to snag her apartment."

"Hi guys!" a voice called out brightly. I looked over and saw Samantha Barre walking over to our table and groaned inwardly. Samantha oozed sexuality as she walked over in a tight miniskirt and form-hugging tank top. She seemed oblivious to the fact that it was the middle of October and frigid outside. While Samantha and I got along outwardly, she had always held some resentment towards me since the Jonathan situation.

Jonathan had been a year ahead of us and had taken a dogged interest in me last year that had been hard to divert. Not because I was interested in him but because he was so determined. Samantha and Jonathan had gone out on a couple of dates but nothing came out of it, much to Samantha's disappointment. I think she was convinced that something more would have happened between them if Jonathan hadn't gotten caught up in pursuing me. Fortunately, Jonathan had graduated last year and was no longer at Maxwell.