Seeing Shadows (3 page)

After my less than effective pep talk, I grabbed some plates from the cupboard as I heard a pounding on the front door, much louder than the polite knock Marcus had given.

"It's me, let me in," me yelled. Me was Grant.

As I heard the door open and introductions to Grant's cousin being passed around, I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I had worked hard to give myself a normal social life in the past three and a half years and had almost convinced myself that I could be like everyone else. Just because I had had a few visions didn't mean I was going to go back to being afflicted with them every night.

With that thought in mind, I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to greet our newly arrived guests. Grant was standing by the couch talking to Sarah, who was leaning in closely to him. A guy, his cousin I suppose, had his back to me and was talking to Marcus and Jenny sitting on the couch. He was much taller than Grant. I would guess about six one, but he was more leanly muscled opposed to Grant's bulky physique.

"Hi Grant," I called out as I placed the stack of plates on the table. "Glad to see you finally made it considering how far you had to travel," I joked.

Grant smiled widely at me. "I had to pretty myself up for you girls. Caitlin, meet my cousin, Simon."

His cousin turned around and my heart started to thud loudly in my chest. I heard a buzzing in my ears and a disconnected part of me wondered what it would feel like to faint. This couldn't be happening. The person I had watched die in my vision couldn't be Grant's cousin. But there was no mistaking his dark brown hair and brilliant blue eyes. I had seen those blue eyes glazed over with agony and fear.

I involuntarily took a step back as I shook my head. I vaguely realized that Simon was saying something to me but it sounded muffled and everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, including his words.

Get a grip,
I hissed to myself in my head.
Not now...not..now.

I took a deep breath and mentally put the walls up and forced myself to focus. Everyone was looking at me oddly and Sarah tilted her head, narrowing her gaze on me.

I laughed weakly. "Sorry, I think I breathed in too much smoke from the garlic bread we burned earlier." I took a step forward towards Grant's cousin. "Hi Simon, nice to meet you."

Simon came closer, holding out his hand. "Hi Caitlin, nice to meet you too. Thanks for having me over."

I hesitated and then clasped his hand in mine. "Sure. Any cousin of Grant's is a cousin of mine." I tried my best to smile at my half-hearted joke but I couldn't stop staring at Simon. He was very good looking, a "hottie" as Sarah would say. But I was staring at him for a totally different reason.

Simon smiled wider as he glanced down at our hands that were still clasped.

"Oh," I started and tried to tug my hand away but Simon held on more firmly.

"I don't think I want to think of you as a cousin," he smirked.

Great, at least maybe his arrogance would diminish my anxiety over having seen him in my vision.

I pulled my hand harder, succeeding this time in freeing my hand from his grasp. "Anyways, now that everyone's here we can get started. Sarah, can you get the guys some drinks? Everyone can help themselves. I just need to run to the bathroom."

I made a quick escape down the hall and closed the bathroom door behind me, turning on the faucet. I ran my wrists under the cold water, willing my pulse to slow down. I looked at myself in the mirror, grimacing at how pale my face was and how large and terrified my brown eyes looked.

"Calm down, Caitlin," I whispered to myself. "Just calm down. So what. You've seen him in a vision. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean
anything."

I turned off the water, dried my wrists, and took a deep breath as I walked out of the bathroom with a smile pasted on my face. Everyone was milling around the table of food, heaping piles of spaghetti and salad onto their plates, chattering amongst themselves.

"Hey," Sarah whispered, pulling me aside into the kitchen, away from everyone else. She looked concerned and pulled me close. "Are you okay? You looked like you were going to keel over in there."

"Oh, I'm fine," I lied, trying to smile. "I really do think I just inhaled too much smoke earlier. That's what I get for living with Smokey the Bear."

"Ha, ha," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. Then her face lit up. "Oh my God, how cute is Simon! He is so hot. He's a senior too and he's looking for his own apartment to rent but who knows how long that'll take. So he'll probably be staying downstairs for a while.
And
did you see the way he looked at you?" She grabbed my hand and crooked my pinky with hers. "We're gonna be related, I tell you!"

I laughed as I felt some of my anxiety slip away. Leave it to Sarah to make me relax with her boy-crazy ways.

"Sarah, you think every guy has the hots for me. And he probably thinks I'm some weirdo that's never talked to a boy before, considering how out of it I was," I replied.

"Well, it's not my fault so many guys have the hots for you and you don't give them the time of day," Sarah frowned. She then shook her head and smiled, banishing her matchmaking thoughts. "C'mon, let's get out there!"

Sarah and I both made our way back into the living room. Jenny, Marcus and Grant sat on the couch, digging into their plates of food. I could see out of my peripheral that Simon was sitting on our recliner. As Sarah and I filled our own plates, I felt as though I could feel his steady gaze on me. Refusing to look in Simon's direction, I sat down on the floor next to the coffee table and placed my plate on top of it.

"Here," I heard his deep voice say. "Why don't you sit on the recliner. I can take the floor."

"Oh, no, no," I exclaimed, fluttering my hand in Simon's general direction. "You're the guest, go ahead. And the floor's comfortable."

"I insist," Simon replied. I felt a hand close around my upper arm. I could feel the warmth of his body as he towered over me, pulling me close as he pulled me up at the same time.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "Hands off the merchandise!" Being hauled around like I was a piece of furniture didn't sit well with me. "Go sit down, I'm fine." I futilely pushed Simon's shoulder, trying to get him to release me.

Grant laughed. "Simon's always been the chivalrous one. You're not going to win this fight, Caitlin."

Jenny looked at me curiously, probably wondering why I was protesting so much. "Just sit in the chair, Caitlin. It's not every day we get a gentleman around here."

At her remark, I saw Marcus frown but I ignored it as I tried to get myself out of my predicament. I did
not
want Simon touching me. I had assumed his touch would make me tense and anxious, but I hadn't imagined that it would make me feel as though my body was on fire as well.

"Okay, okay!" I said, finally succeeding in pulling my arm out of Simon's grasp. "I'll sit in the damn chair."

I grabbed my plate and walked the few steps to the recliner and plopped myself down loudly to express my displeasure. To my horror, Simon sat down on the arm of the recliner, leaning back as he dug into his plate of food. I leaned in the other direction as far as I could without toppling over and dropping my plate.

"I thought you were sitting on the floor," I said crossly. "That's not the floor. You're crowding me."

Simon laughed. "There's plenty of room here. And it's the gentlemanly thing to do to stay close. What if you feel faint again from the smoke you breathed in earlier?"

Sarah had been watching this whole interchange with a contemplative look on her face. Her expression remained thoughtful as she pulled over a folding chair we had in case we had more guests than seats and opened it, sitting down. I kept my eyes on my plate and concentrated wholeheartedly on eating, as if my life depended on it. I knew I was overreacting and I felt idiotic, but I felt unable to control myself. And the lack of control was making me feel even more unsettled.

"So, Simon," Sarah said. "What made you transfer to Maxwell?"

Simon paused from twirling spaghetti onto his fork. "I was just tired of my old school and needed a change of pace. Also, Maxwell has a great music program which I'm switching my major to. And Grant's always going on and on about how great Maxwell is so I decided to try it out for myself."

"Yeah, but to come here from Yale?" I asked, almost accusatory, looking up. "Who does that?"

"I do," Simon said simply, looking down at me from his perch quizzically.

Simon's penetrating blue eyes made me flush. What was wrong with me? It wasn't his fault that I had seen him in one of my visions. If anything, it should make me more sympathetic towards him. But a part of me resented his existence, shattering the false sense of security and normalcy I had desperately grasped these past few years. His being here, appearing before my eyes, made me fear that I was going to go down the same path I had in high school. Where normalcy had been replaced with an overwhelming feeling that I was going crazy.

Sarah cleared her throat, breaking the tension. "Well, we're glad to have you here. Now you'll have to give us all the dirt on Grant."

Grant laughed and waved his hands in protest. "There's no dirt to tell. I've always been the model citizen that you see before you today."

Simon grinned. "I've got tons of ammunition against him. I'll save it for when I need it as leverage one of these days."

"Simon is going to be joining our band since we're still looking for a replacement for Mike and Abe," Grant said.

Marcus and Grant were in a band called the Henchmen. Mike and Abe had also been in the band but they were a year ahead and had graduated last year. Marcus was the drummer and Grant was the bassist. Mike had been the guitarist and Abe the lead singer, but since their departure Marcus and Grant had been struggling to find someone to replace them. The Henchmen were wildly popular in Rochester, beyond just the students. They regularly played at a bar near campus called the East End, but since the departure of the two members, they had only played a few times when Mike and Abe had made the trip up from New Jersey and Pennsylvania, where they were from respectively.

"But don't you still need another person?" asked Jenny. She turned to look at Simon. "Do you sing or play the guitar?"

"He does both!" exclaimed Grant, answering for him. "That's why I'm so excited for him to be here. He can take over for both Mike and Abe and we can get started playing right away. We actually practiced playing together last summer and we've already jammed over at the East End a couple of times during the day. Joel is over the moon about it."

Joel was the owner of the East End and he was sorely missing the extra business that the Henchmen brought in. They were a fixture at the bar, bringing in all the fans, especially the screaming girls. The lack of their presence had really affected business. Joel loved the Henchmen so much - well, the money that they brought in - that he let them use the bar as a practice area during the day when it was closed.

"Oh, wow," Sarah said. "I can't wait to hear you guys. When's your first show?"

"Simon has caught up to speed so fast with all our songs that we're playing next weekend," Marcus replied. "We've even been practicing some songs that he's written too. This guy's a genius."

Simon grinned. "I'm talented in many ways, but I'm not sure I'd go that far. I've been writing for a while and I've been in a few bands but nothing that really stuck. I think Marcus, Grant and I are sounding really good together. And it doesn't hurt that Grant and I have been playing Rock Band for ages, so it's like we were already in a band together." He smirked at his last comment and turned his attention to me. "Maybe you can be our tambourine girl."

"Uh, I think I'll pass on that illustrious honor," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Actually, you should hear her sing," Sarah gushed enthusiastically. "She's amazing. Plus she rocks on the piano. Not that you'd ever know it since she never plays."