Second Chances (19 page)

I
love you
Zoey
.

Luke

I wiped the tears away from my
cheeks and stood up grabbing my flowers to take inside and to my room. I sat on
the end of my bed looking at my phone in my hands. It had been off for days and
I was scared to hear everything that I knew was waiting on my machine once I
turned it on. Sophia told me that my answering machine was full after about
three days. After about five minutes I hit the power button twenty five
voicemails were waiting. I took a deep breath and dialed my voicemail.

The messages started the night I
left after finding Whitney and him…

Luke: ‘B-Baby Listen
come
back please! I’m begging you’

Luke: ‘
Don’t
break up with me Z please I need you!’

There were a few after that but
he was yelling at someone and most of them were muffled. The next were from the
next day.

Luke: ‘Hey Zoe I know right now
you hate me. I got to say hearing you tell me that wow I didn’t know how much
that would hurt but damn it does. I never wanted to be the kind of person you
could ever hate. I am sorry I hurt you. Baby I hate me too.

Luke: ‘So you just ran from me. I
am sitting out in front of your house and I feel like there is a whole in my
chest were my heart is. I can’t shake this feeling that the kiss I just gave
you may have been the last one you allow me to ever give you.’

The next bunch came in from
Sophia yelling at me for avoiding her and our friendship. She was lecturing me
about not eating and losing weight. Pretty much everything she screamed at me
for in the restroom a couple days ago. Luke left a couple more that sounded as
if he just woke up or couldn’t sleep because they were really late at night. I
almost dropped the phone at my next message it was just this last Sunday
morning.

‘Hey its Whitney…Okay well if
you haven’t deleted this message and are still
listening
I just wanted to call you and tell you that I deserved getting my ass handed to
me by you. I was wrong to fuck with you and Luke’s relationship. He went off me
last night for talking shit about you. I have never seen him like that. He
loves you and at that party he did pass out in the chair believe me if he was
alert I never would have gotten close enough to him to sit on his lap. I hate
that I am responsible for how miserable he is right now. I just thought you
should know.’

I was pretty shocked that she had the nerve to call me.
Then I flipped through my texts and it was filled from Luke and Sophia. They consisted
of a lot of what the voicemails were. Luke had texted me at least once a day
telling me he loved me and he saw something that reminded him of me, a spot
along the road, a movie on TV or even a certain food. I was startled by my
bedroom door opening and in came Lily carrying a couple sacks then sat them on
the bed. “What’s all this?” I reached for the bags and peaked in. They were
full of clothes. “Mom said she was tired of seeing your jeans sag and your
shirts hang. She said if you are going to melt away by starving yourself at
least you could do it with some style.” Lily winked like I always do to her and
left the room. I pulled out the clothes and held up a pair of jeans size one
mom really. I didn’t go down a size I hadn’t lost that much maybe a couple
pounds. Until I pulled on the jeans and they fit perfectly I stared at my
reflection in the mirror my god…I looked ill. My hair was bunched up in a very
messy ponytail. I hadn’t worn makeup for a couple weeks. I had been wearing
sweats and yoga pants so much I forgot there was any other type of clothing. I
turned to go downstairs to find my mom. When I came around the corner and she
saw me she began to tear up. “Damn it
Zoey
do I need
to take you to the hospital? Do you need medication…A counselor? Sweetheart you
are scaring the hell out of me. I can’t watch you do this again. What do you
need let me help you Please?” I walked to her and nuzzled into her and I cried
with her. “I’m sorry Momma…I’m sorry,” I sobbed. We went and sat on the couch
and after a lot of tears we talked. I told her about the flowers and the letter
Luke left. I told her I turned my phone on and got all the messages even the
one from Whitney. “
Zoey
you have to be the one to
decide because you have the control now. Everyone knows what Luke wants he
hasn’t once hid that.” I just looked down at my hands as I continued to pick at
my nails.

I found myself back in my room
dialing Sophia. She answered her phone of course not passing the chance to be a
smart ass…”OH MY GOD!
Zoey
I can’t believe you got
over your phone Phobia. Are you okay do you need anything?” She laughed and
after that passed I joined her and we cried. She told me she was really worried
that she lost her best friend. I told her I wanted her to pick me up before the
game that I had decided I wanted to go with her.

It was about six thirty and there
was a knock on my door, “Come in.” Sophia came in and froze in the doorway
dropping her mouth open “Wow…where is my friend
Zoey
um…this used to be her room?” Followed by a whistle then, “You look
hot…Wait…wait a minute is
this a
'in your face Luke'
night?” I smiled at her comments and then I told her that I just wanted to look
good and she told me I looked anorexic which made me nervous. “
Zoey
I’m kidding you don’t look anorexic but please stop
starving yourself. Luke is going to think you look amazing.

When we got to the game the guys
were already out on the warm-up field which was a smaller one off on the side
of the main entrance. They always warmed up there prior to game time which
tonight was seven thirty. After we paid and we walked in I couldn’t help but
glance toward the team. I found Luke quickly he had his back to us throwing
with Blake and Evan. Sophia waved to Evan of course and I turned before Luke
turned around and continued walking to the stadium. I felt so nervous all of a
sudden. Taking a deep breath…here I go.

*Luke*

Lately I was just going through
the motions that I was expected to.  Get up, go to class, go to practice
and then come home. Day after day I really didn’t feel any of it was really
that important. I hit the gym daily for hours to avoid hanging out with the
guys but still it just all felt so unimportant anymore.

Another game so here I stand
putting on a show for the coach, my teammates and the fans. I really didn’t
give a shit if we won or lost. I was in my own little world all the time.
Thinking of
Zoey
trying to come up with a way to see
her or talk to her any way to get her back into my life. Blake was pointing
toward to entrance “Dude is that
Zoey
with Sophia?”
My heart jumped into my throat as I whipped around quickly looking toward the
entrance. There she was walking toward the stadium. She was here and my heart
was racing. I dropped the football and took off jogging in their direction. I
slowed as I got closer and looked her over. Sophia said she had lost weight.
She was already small but now she was tiny. I loved her little curves what she
had anyway but she just seemed so tiny now. She looked hot of course but I
hated that she got smaller because of all this shit going on I felt
responsible. She had on snug very low cut jeans you could see her lower back.
The shirt she was wearing really left little to the imagination which looked
really good but kind of made me feel like I should give her my jersey. She had
her hair all down and wavy around her face like I loved. For a minute I felt
like I couldn’t speak. I wanted to but I wasn’t sure were to start. They had
stopped behind a group of people waiting to be seated. I took a few steps forward,
“
Zoey
” she turned quickly and I couldn’t really tell
by her expression if this was a good or bad thing that we were standing three
feet apart. Then she smiled not a huge smile but a really cute nervous one. “Hi
Luke,” she stepped closer and I reached out to guide her to the side of the
line. Sophia told her she meet her in their seats. She turned back to me. I
couldn’t believe how quickly my heart was racing like it may beat right out of
my chest. “I’m really glad you came. I’ve missed the hell out of you
Zoey
,” I rushed it out before breathing. I was nervous and
excited and scared as hell at the same time. She laughed just lightly, “Luke
breath you look like you’re going too passed out.” I really wasn’t thinking
because the next thing I know I reached out and pulled her to me tightly
wrapping my arms around her and burying my nose in her hair. Cinnamon sweet she
smelled amazing. She brought her arms around my waist to my back and the fact
that she hugged me back melted my heart. “Baby I love you so much. I feel like
I am missing half of myself and I can’t breathe without you. I want you back so
badly it hurts. Please give me another chance please.” I pulled back just
enough to look down to her. She didn’t look up at me right away so I brought my
mouth to her ear and whispered, “You know that I love you
Zoey
.
You have all of me, heart and soul baby… forever because it hurts way too much
without you. If you don’t want me well then I guess I’ll just be by myself because
you’re all I want.” She turned slowly into me her mouth was now so close and I
could feel her breath, “I do want you Luke. I just don’t want you to hurt me.”
I turned to her our lips now barely apart, “I promise you that I will never
hurt you again. I don’t like my life without you in it,” bringing our lips
together very softly. “Will you wait for me after the game? Maybe we can go
someplace to talk,” I kissed her again softly. “We’ll see,” she whispered in
return.

I ended up having one of my best
games I was sure it was related to all the nervous energy I was carrying in my
body. I was hoping
Zoey
would agree to talk some
after the game. All the guys were in great moods and they were all going to
some party. I wanted to be alone with
Zoey
so I
wasn’t even listening when they gave the address. I hurried to change and when
I walked out of the locker room I found her and Sophia sitting on a bench near
the gates waiting. I had to stop and just watch her. Sophia had her laughing
and she held her hand over her chest as she laughed heavily. She was so
beautiful. Evan walked up next to me, “What’s wrong dude? She’s pretty great
right. She is a sweet girl Luke and if she decides to give you two another go
you better hold on tightly and treat her right.” He slapped his hands on my
shoulder and walked past to meet his girl.
Zoey
looked up and our eyes locked. I smiled just at the sight of her my stomach
tensed and my heart fluttered. Evan was right I knew I wouldn’t get another
chance after this to make this work but in my heart I knew I wouldn’t need
another one.

*
Zoey
*

I felt relieved after Luke kissed
me. It was weird I mean I know the whole time we were apart I could have ended the
agony and just called him or went to him. I just couldn’t because I was hurt
and then the hurt led to stubbornness. I wasn’t sure I could face him and I
felt so sick thinking about it all. I felt clammy the minute I heard him say my
name. He gave me chills when he whispered in my ear and then feeling his lips
on mine just enough to make my knees weak. It was the perfect little kiss. I
felt his love for me and I knew I was crazy to think he could cheat.

Now here I am and there he is and
he is smiling walking to me and I couldn’t believe the overwhelming urge I had
at this moment to run and jump into his arms. He finally reached me and sat
down next to me bringing his hand to mine to link our fingers together as he
slowly traced his thumb over my knuckles. I watched our hands and then turned
to find him watching me without saying a word. I went with my emotions and I
stood up crawling onto his lap straddling him bringing his lips to mine I
needed the closeness I needed him. I felt like crawling inside of him but that
still didn’t feel like it would be enough. I missed him so very much and I
realized just how much once I wrapped my hands around his neck and buried my
face into his neck inhaling that familiar scent. “Hey baby
shh
Zoey
don’t cry please,” he whispered as he held me
tightly to him. After a few minutes and when I realized everyone else walked
off to give us a little privacy I pulled back to look at him, “I love you
Luke…and I’m sorry.” He brought his hand to my face wiping my tears away, “You
have nothing to be sorry for
Zoey
. I hurt you and I
won’t make that mistake again. Can we go somewhere and talk where ever you
want?” I just nodded in response. He lifted me up and held me for a moment in
his arms. He slowly lowered me to the ground kissing the top of my head. “I
love you baby…so much.” After we caught up with Sophia and Evan we all decided
to go back to Luke’s maybe go swimming and watch a movie. I needed to go get my
suit and so did Sophia so we rode together I think Luke was hoping I would ride
with him but it just made more sense for us to ride together and get our
things. Evan rode with Luke and we would just meet them there.

After getting our things we went
off to meet the guys. I was so ready to be near him. We got to Luke’s about
twenty minutes after them. His mom opened the door when we rang the bell and
she invited us in immediately giving me a hug whispering in my ear she so happy
to see me back around and then told us the guys were already out at the pool. She
excused herself and went up to bed. They were sitting on the edge of the pool
and Luke’s face lite up when he saw me. “Your mom let us in.” I dropped my bag
onto the chair near the hot tub. He was watching me as if maybe he was a little
nervous. Sophia had already been drug into the pool or should I say thrown in
by Evan and they were off doing their thing. I pulled off my shirt and my
shorts and sat down next to Luke. He scooted himself a little closer and then
leaned in to me bumping shoulders lightly with me, “You know I think you’re
beautiful but you have to promise me you’ll stop losing weight. You’re just so
tiny
Zoey
…hey let’s fix this…us because we both seem
to be pretty damn miserable apart. ” He placed a kiss on my cheek and I could
hear him inhale deeply. After a minute he slid down into the water and then
moved over to rest himself between my knees. He brought his hands around my
waist to rest his hands onto my lower back. I grabbed him on each side of his
face and pulled us together as I kissed him so gently then I slid forward and
down his body into the water wrapping my legs around his waist. We kissed
sweetly running our tongues together but nothing to heavy it was perfect. “Baby
you have no idea how happy I am right now. The effect you have on me and the
connection I feel with you is mind-blowing and so unbelievably perfect. I have
missed you so much I missed us…I need us. I love you and I will never let you
go. That’s a promise!