Second Chances (14 page)

*
Zoey
*

Waking up from this nightmare and seeing Luke sitting next to me in a
chair. I thought I had imagined hearing him talk to me. I heard a lot of things
that I assumed were a dream. Honestly I mean I even imagined Ashley coming in
crying of all things and saying she was sorry for being a bitch. I thought I
heard Luke’s mom talking to me like she knew me. I have never met her I don’t
even know what she looks like except in a few photos around their house. I
thought she was there talking to me about how much her son cared for me. How
she felt as if she knew me and that I made Luke happier than she had seen him
in a long time. Lying here looking over at Luke as the sun came up and I
watched him sleep. Last night he confessed to what I thought I dreamt. He
really did say he loved me so maybe all that other stuff I thought I created in
my mind while I was sleeping wasn’t really imagined. I felt warm inside even
though my entire body ached beyond belief. How could Luke know he loves me? I
wanted to say it back to him but I hesitated and then the next thing I remember
I am waking up. I knew I loved Luke he had become a part of me. Even though he
frustrated the hell out of me most times but when he was sweet wow…he made me
forget all those other things. He was just stubborn as hell but he was amazing
and he really showed me who he truly was. He didn’t put on a show for me I got
to see him and I had to admit the real Luke was pretty great.

When the nurse and doctor came in to check on me he woke from the sound of
the door sliding. He quickly sat up and moved back so they could get in closer.
The doctor said that maybe this weekend they may let me go home. I felt more
alert today still really achy but that was expected. When they left I reached
for Luke and he came back over to sit close to me. He kissed my hand and I
brought my hand up to touch my finger to my lips hoping he got the hint that I
wanted a kiss there. He completely understood. He gave me a sweet little kiss
on my lips and whispered, ‘I love you baby’. I knew at that moment I wasn’t
going to get tired of hearing that. He sat down in the chair and looked up at
me. “Thank you for staying with me.” He started to say something but I held my
finger to his lips making
a
shh
sound to tell him I wasn’t done. He smiled then just waited…the way he was
looking at me made me want to cry. A longing…a need like there was nothing else
in the world but him and me sitting there together. “I kind of imagined when I
told you this it wouldn’t be when I was lying in a hospital bed looking like
someone that had just stepped out of a horror movie.” I smiled and continued.
“When I first met you I forced myself to think the worst based on what I heard.
That wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry but I am so glad we got passed that. I am
so happy that I got the chance to meet the real you and that you allowed me in.
Luke it is the guy inside you…the real you that has my heart. My entire heart I
don’t care about all the games you felt you had to play before. You make me
smile by just being there. I love spending time with you. I love your smile,
your eyes…everything. I adore you and my heart melts every single time I see
you. Whenever you kiss me I really could get lost in it and sometimes I do.
..Luke I love you too, very much. So much it hurts.” I hadn’t realized I was
crying and his lips were on mine slowly. “I could spend an entire day listening
to you say that over and over but even then it wouldn’t be enough.” He kissed
me again and again. “Okay you two, Lucas you better be careful with her.” We turned
and I wasn’t sure but I think I was looking at Luke’s mom. When he walked to
her and they hugged both of them walked together back to my bedside I knew it
had to be. Luke introduced us and I felt horrible that she was meeting me while
I looked like I did. She was so sweet and kind. She visited for over an hour
and talked about how stubborn her son was…as if I hadn’t already figured all
that out. We laughed well they did I tried to refrain from it too much because
I felt like I was going to pee myself from the searing pain when I did.

Around dinner time they brought me in a small tray with soft foods only. I
really only picked at it. Luke told me I should eat but with the medication
running threw me I was lucky my stomach was choosing to hold down the water I
sipped on. The swelling in my face had gone down a lot. The bruising on the
other hand had chosen to change to deep bluish greens and yellows surrounding
the still deep purple. I was able to open my right eye more though now that it
had lessened in size. Sophia, Evan and Blake made an appearance and didn’t stay
to long. The nurse told me that they would be moving me to a regular room and
out of ICU so they didn’t want to get in the way.
Soph
gave a quick hug and they ran off promising to come back tomorrow. I tried to
convince Luke to go home with them but he wouldn’t budge. Right as they were
getting ready to move me Ashley and Aunt Lauren popped in. Oh wow I wasn’t
imagining that I hadn’t gotten around to asking Luke yet if that was true or
had I dreamt of Ashley confessing her sins. “Hey it’s really good to see you
awake,” she confessed I had to admit I was speechless when she leaned in and
gave me a very light hug. “I’m so sorry about being so horrible to you,” I
smiled at her I was seriously in shock. They both visited for a very short time
and then they left. I turned to Luke with my eyebrows creased in confusion and
he just shrugged his shoulders making me aware of the fact that he was as
puzzled as me. Once they got me to my new room I called my mom to tell her and
we discussed Lily coming to see me. We decided that tomorrow would be better I
was hoping in a day or two I would be going home anyway but Lily was getting
frantic that she hadn’t been allowed to see me yet and everyone else had.

Friday morning came I was able to finally convince Luke to take a break to
go home and get something to eat. Maybe take a shower in his own home instead
of in the visitor’s room at the hospital. I spent the time he was gone sleeping
so it went pretty quickly. We watched a movie that was on and of course it was
a chick flick but he fought his way through it. I giggled at him every time he
rolled his eyes at the sappy parts of the movie. Later after Lily got out of
school Sophia brought both her and my mom up to see me. She ran into the room
and jumped onto my bed hugging me so hard I winced at the pain it caused but it
was worth it all to see her smile. She kept saying how much she missed me and
how she wanted me to come home. They stayed until visiting hours were over.

Saturday morning bright and early the doctor came in and gave me the news
that I was going to be allowed to go home today. Finally my own bed I was so
ready for a shower. They removed my stitches because it had been six days which
is what they suggest. I would just have to cover my casted arm. When I called
to tell mom she cried she was so happy.

The next few weeks went by pretty quickly. I went back to school two weeks
after the accident I didn’t want to get further behind. I was finally able to
move around better. The fact that my right arm was broken and casted made it
difficult to write but I learned to rely on my left. You could actually start to
read my writing. Luke had been spending a lot of time at our house lately my
mom had even allow him to sleep over a couple times on the couch because he had
been there so late. After everything that had happened I think it wasn’t just
me that felt safer when Luke was around. My mom had developed an attachment to him
seeing the way he cared for me and even the way he was with her and Lily.
Things were really good. My mother had gotten to know Luke’s mom well. They
would spend a lot of time on the phone and even going to lunch. Sophia’s mom
became a really great friend to my mother also they really had a lot in
common. 

My bruising had healed and the other aftermath I still had to deal with
was my cast but it would come off in another week and a half.

I had a follow-up appointment with my doctor for my lung and ribs. We had
an early dismissal on Friday so I had scheduled it then so I didn’t have to miss
anymore school. As I was leaving I walked passed a poster that showed
statistics of teen pregnancy and STD’s. I had thought about going to see a
doctor for the pill I knew that it would happen with Luke. I knew I had reached
the point where I wanted it to happen and if things went that far I wouldn’t
stop it. I knew that I wouldn’t regret it if we had sex and that I would
cherish the moment forever no matter where life led us. I wanted him to be my
first.

I found my phone and dialed after a few rings, “Hey Sophia can you meet
me?” She agreed to meet me at the Park right along the beach. It had only taken
her about twenty minutes to get there. I was nervous but I knew she would be
who I could trust. She walked up and we sat on the bench together. I talked to
her about going to the free clinic to get put on birth control. She freaked out
thinking Luke and I had already been having sex and that I was hiding it well.
“Slow down crazy…I am just trying to plan ahead. Prepare for what may happen.
Wow
Soph
…stop freaking out,” she had me laughing at
her. I followed her to the clinic she goes to. I was sick to my stomach this
was my first time ever seeing this kind of doctor and I had no idea what to
expect. They called my name and I started getting all clammy. Sophia waved me
on as if I was being a baby. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be and
went quick.

I now sat in my room looking down at the contents now lying across my bed.
One very long strip of condoms and three packets of birth control pills. The timing
was perfect because I would be able to start my pills this Sunday just two days.
Sounded easy enough right? Remembering daily would be the trick. I should tell
Luke so he could help me remember but I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know yet.
He was out of town visiting family with his parents. I missed him like crazy
already and he had only left this morning. Thank goodness it was only until
Sunday afternoon at least I would see him then before our school week started
all over again. I hid all the stuff from the clinic in a shoe box in the top of
my closet. I wasn’t ready to tell my mom. I knew she would understand and
respect my decision to be prepared but I also knew that if she thought for a
second that leaving us alone could result in us finally having sex well she
would never leave us alone.

Tonight was 'make your own pizza night' with mom and Lily, Hannah from
down the road had even joined us and Sophia was coming over to spend the
night.  A girl’s night was planned and we were having a blast. Each of us
had our own patted out crust equal to the size of a small pizza. We had a large
variety of toppings and cheeses. You made it how you wanted it with what you
liked. Lily made her surprise punch…she never told and we never asked but
somehow each time she made it, it got a little bit better. I girls night was
just what we needed and I was looking forward to it. I missed them. We rented
girly movies and
vegged
out in front of the TV and
laughed as much as possible. We had a crazy dance off and Lily and Hannah
laughed so hard they cried when my mom started her little jig…it really was a
blast.

My phone beeped around ten and I knew it had to be Luke. I loved our text
wars they were always so fun and I found it a little easier to be opened with
what I really wanted to say without the embarrassment of his reactions. I
really was shy about the sex stuff but I was trying to open up a little more.

Luke: ‘I miss you’

Me: ‘I really miss you too’

Luke: ‘What u doing?’

Me: ‘Girls Night…Make your own pizza’s…U?’

Luke: ‘Nothing really major’

Me:  ‘See you could be here with me instead’

Luke: ‘I wish I was Sounds more fun…and my lips and hands really miss you’

Me: ‘Well my lips and my body really miss your touch’

Luke: ‘Maybe when I get home Sunday my lips and hands along with the rest
of me can make it up to you’

Me: ‘That sounds really good but don’t make promises that you won’t follow
through with’

Luke: ‘How do you know I won’t follow through?”

Me: ‘Because you have a habit of treating me like I am made of
glass’

Luke: ‘I just haven’t wanted to hurt you babe. You needed to heal’

Me: ‘Went to doctor today I am cleared for normal activities…so I guess
you can no longer keep using that excuse. Guess you need to come up with a new
one’

Luke: ‘Excuses…can’t think of any. Are you mad at me or something?’

Me: ‘No just hate that you’re gone.’

Luke: ‘Sorry’

Me: ‘I know’

There was a long wait before he replied again.

Luke: ‘Sunday afternoon when I get home I want to spend the rest of the
day cuddling with you.’

Me: ‘Just one problem’

Luke: ‘What?’

Me: ‘What if I want you to kiss me too’

Luke:
‘
J
I can definitely agree to that. I promise there will be lots of kissing’

Me: ‘I am holding you to that…no backing out’

Luke: ‘No backing out…Good night baby’

Me: ‘Good night I love you’

Luke: ‘Night Beautiful…I love you more’

Me: ‘Nope…Sweet dreams’

Luke: ‘Sweet dreams to you too and yep!’

Me: ‘Whatever! Call me tomorrow.’

Luke: ‘You got it’

This boy was a keeper. I fell asleep with dreams of Luke and woke up
sweating and in a panic from the nightmare it led to. It was always the same
Bruce breaking in when we were sleeping but this time Lily was home. I hated
these nightmares. I hadn’t really told anyone I was having them they weren’t
every night just when I was feeling really vulnerable. I guess this was one of
those times. I got up and went downstairs and got something to drink. It was
three thirty am and I really wanted to talk to Luke but I knew waking him up
and worrying him when he was over four hours away wasn’t really going to do any
good for either of us. I pulled out my kindle and tried to read which got me
nowhere. I was imagining hearing noises outside only to get myself into more of
a panic. I found myself at my mother’s bedroom door trying to decide if I
should wake her. When I slowly opened the door she was already awake looking
out her window. “Hey sweetheart is everything okay?” I walked in closing the
door behind me. I sat on the end of her bed, “I just can’t sleep I’m entirely
too restless…” She sat there just watching me like she was trying to read my
thoughts without asking me to explain them. “Mom, do you ever have nightmares
about that night? About what happened?” She turned back toward the window
blinking back her tears, “My nightmares are always about you lying in that
hospital bed.” We sat in silence for a while. I wished Luke was home. I wanted
so badly to snuggle up to him and fall asleep safe and sound while listening to
his heartbeat.