Save Me (22 page)

I
have no clue where to start. I thought about hiring a private investigator, but nonlocals stick out around here. I may as well knock on the door myself, which I haven’t ruled out yet. Even a car parked along the road where it shouldn’t be will be noticed. No matter where I’m driving, I go past the Hardings. I could be headed ten miles in the opposite direction and I still circle back, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jay outside. He should be running around, catching bugs. He loves it outside.

I never see him, though. I’ve gone by at every hour of the day and I’ve never seen a soul outside the Hardings’ house. How can they stay inside all day? Mr. Harding is on disability. Mrs. Harding retired from the school board office last year. I’ve never thought of them as horrible people but their daughter is clearly crazy. The apple doesn’t fall far.

I wish Jason were here. Of course, if he were here, Jay wouldn’t be left in there in the first place.

I pick up the phone and dial the church office. If I remember correctly, Mrs. Johnson works there every morning until noon.

“Good morning, Salem County Presbyterian.”

“Hi. Mrs. Johnson?”

“Yes.”

“This is Charlotte Sinclair.”

“Oh, hello, Charlotte. How are you? And how’s that little blessing Kate doing?”

“We’re all fine. I was hoping you could help me with some information.”

“Really,” she says. Mrs. Johnson must have almost as much information as Ms. Cioffi, the lady who owns the town’s flower shop.

“Do you know if the Hardings bring Jason Jr., Stephanie’s son”—I choke a little bit on the words—“to church or Sunday school?” I pause, worried I’m overstepping my bounds, actually knowing I’m overstepping.

“No. As a matter of fact, we haven’t seen any of the Hardings in a long time. Does the baby still live with them?”

“He’s not a baby anymore. He’s about the same age as Lily. I think he’s about three and a half now.” I pause, not sure which direction to turn in next. “Well, thanks for the information.”

“No. Thank you. We’re just about to send out our Fall Kickoff information and I am going to make sure the Hardings receive the mailing, including information on Sunday school.”

“Great,” I say, and hang up with Mrs. Johnson.

Michelle brings Lily over to see Kate and I use the time to pump her for any information she’s heard.

“It’s weird, but I haven’t heard a word about him since the arrest,” she says as I clean up toys in the wake of the girls.

“Weird or sinister?” Michelle raises her eyebrows at my question. “Do you ever see him at any three-year-old parties? Any play dates? Anywhere?” I ask, sure I’m sounding a little hysterical.

“No, Charlotte.” She peers at me, trying to decipher the extent of my craziness. “Are you sure you’re keeping a proper distance from this?”

“Oh yes. Improper would be when I pretended to enroll Kate in day care last week and visited the two day cares in town looking for him.” Michelle’s mouth drops open. “What? I need to know where he is and that he’s healthy and happy. A little boy shouldn’t just disappear off the face of the Earth.” I stop cleaning up the toys and sit down, exhausted by my failure in finding one ounce of information about Jason Jr.

Michelle leaves and I throw Kate in the car to go see Clint. He’s cleaning the air ducts at my parents’ house. He was a great choice to live here.

“Hey, Mama, and hey, my little Katie Q. How’s it going?” Clint asks as he gets up to his feet and takes Kate out of my arms. He makes all kinds of strange faces at her and she rewards him with her signature giggle. Clint switches her to his hip and gives her a few nails to play with. I shake my head no and he takes them back and replaces them with the box of tissues from the counter.

“Clint, have you heard about or seen Jason’s son since Stephanie was arrested?” I get right to the point. I’m desperate.

“As a matter of fact, I haven’t. I completely forgot about him. Where’s he livin’ now?”

“The last I heard he was at the Hardings’, but there’s been no sign of him. At least not one I can find.” Clint swings Kate through his legs and brings her up to eye level again to her absolute delight. “Are you working now?”

“No. I’ve been off a week and I’m going absolutely bananas. Thank God I have such a great landlord.”

“Do you want to pick up some extra money?” I ask as an idea begins to form in my head.

“Always looking to pick up extra money. Are you soliciting me?” Clint bounces his eyebrows. “What? You and Sinclair have been married a while now. Things are probably getting stale. I’ll give you a discount,” Clint says, chuckling through the whole last sentence.

“That’s very generous of you, but we’re not stale. I want you to watch the Harding house for any signs of life.”

“What do you mean
watch
?”

“There’s a deer stand in the woods behind the house. I want you to sit in it all day and see if Jay ever comes out of the house.”

“You want me to spend an entire day in a deer stand?” Clint seems to be less enthused about the plan.

“I want you to spend several days.”

“Right. Sure. Several days,” Clint says as he walks around shrugging and making crazy faces at Kate. “I’ll just camp out in a deer stand for a week.”

“I’ll pay you two hundred dollars a day.”

“Just to sit there?” Clint yells at me.

“Yes. Will you do it?”

“Hell yeah, I’ll do it.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight thirty tomorrow and drop you off on the side of the road. You can walk through the woods and watch the house. I’ll pick you back up at the end of the day.”

“What am I supposed to do for lunch?”

“Pack it. I would come eat with you, but if they see a car on the side of the road, they’ll get suspicious.”

“I think you’re crazy.”

“I know. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning,” I say, and scoop up Kate.

Marie comes over for dinner and plays with Kate while I make a salad. Noble hustles in late from the fields and runs upstairs to shower. The hours are getting longer. Soon he’ll be around much less than he is now and I’m going to miss him, but it’s nothing compared to how much Kate is going to. She always beams the minute he walks through the door. He sneaks by her, knowing he’ll never make it to the shower if she catches a glimpse of him.

We eat with Kate at the center of our attention. Marie sits next to her because the hours she spends with her almost every day are apparently not enough. I just watch how she captivates her audience and remember watching Jason walk through a crowd. You couldn’t take your eyes off him either.

Marie begrudgingly leaves us after dinner. Noble walks her back to her house and carries her leftovers for her. When he comes back, he settles into a block-building extravaganza with Kate as I finish cleaning up the kitchen.
Cooking and cleaning
…Jason wouldn’t recognize me now. I wouldn’t trade this for anything or anyone in this world.

I dry my hands and return to the family room. Noble and Kate have taken over the floor in front of the hearth with their block village. Kate is banging two together, enjoying the cracking sound when they collide. She accidently hits Noble’s tower and the blocks fall. Noble makes an exaggerated face at her and Kate’s nose scrunches up in anger. She picks up a block and throws it at the wall. I close my eyes and shake my head.
Please God, let her soften.

Noble lifts Kate over his head and zerberts her belly until she giggles and I can’t take my eyes off them. Noble turns and studies me.

“What?” he asks me, lifting Kate again. I shake my head in silence. “Tell me right now or your belly is next.”

“How is it so easy for you to love us? Kate and I?” I ask. To watch Noble, you’d never believe Jason was ever a part of our lives, that he is the father to this little girl in Noble’s arms.

“I had a great teacher in the art of forgiveness.”

I look at him, puzzled, as he puts Kate back on the floor to grab more blocks.

“I used to watch you with Jay—the living, breathing evidence of betrayal—and you showed me love. You didn’t love that little boy because of Jason. You loved him in spite of Jason, in spite of what he’d done.” Noble walks over, raises my chin with a finger, and kisses me. “You could love anything. I’m just following you, and I must say, it’s glorious. Much better than bitterness.” He kisses me again and Kate throws another block at the wall.

Clint’s first day is uneventful. I drop him off before nine and he climbs into the deer stand with his cell phone, headphones, my camera with a zoom lens, and his lunch. I pick him back up at four and he reports there was no sign of Jay. Mrs. Harding apparently went to the grocery store, but no one else came or left the house. Clint seems completely bored until I hand him two hundred dollars in cash. Then he’s excited to get to work tomorrow.

The next three days are some of the most beautiful of September and yet Clint still reports he’s not seen Jay once. How is it even possible to keep a child indoors that long? He must not be there. They must have shipped him off to an aunt’s house in Tennessee or something. There is no way he could still be in there. The sight of the house makes me sad. It’s an old two-story farmhouse close to the road. There’s a shed hooked to the back of it with a window boarded up. It’s a dingy color, not quite white, not quite gray. A perfect shade of yuck and I need to know that Jay is not in there. The house is at the intersection of two roads with a large woods behind it. I park on the side road and have Clint walk through the trees to get to the car.

On the fourth day, I’ve all but given up hope. I wait with the car running, but Clint doesn’t come out of the woods when he’s supposed to. I text him, but he doesn’t walk out and meet me at my car a few seconds after I stop, like usual. I don’t like parking the car here. I dial Clint’s number, but he doesn’t answer.

I exit my car and close the door softly. It’s quiet out here; every noise will echo. I walk through the woods with my bright pink tank top calling all attention to me. When I get to the deer stand, I climb the ladder and find Clint sleeping like a baby.

“Clint,” I whisper. “Clint, wake up.” I shake his arm and he finally stirs. “Come on. We gotta go,” I say, and finally rouse him. He lifts his head and realizes where he is. “Be careful coming down. I don’t want you to break your neck.”

I climb down with Clint following me. He’s groggy. How long has he been asleep up there? We get about halfway through the woods when I notice Clint has stopped.

“I forgot my bag,” he says, and I look at his lunch bag in his hand. He gives me the “you know” face and I realize it’s his bag of weed. Clint turns and walks back to the deer stand. When he’s on his way back to me, I hear someone yell from the other side of the woods.

“Who’s there?” The voice is gruff and loud and reserved to scare all intruders. Clint hauls it and I turn to run as well. I hear a shot fired and don’t turn back around until I get to my car. Clint’s running out of the woods when I climb in and start the Volvo. He barely has the door shut before I’m speeding away. We sit in silence and pant as we drive toward Clint’s.

“It doesn’t seem like that great of a plan anymore,” I say.

“No?” Clint asks, his voice bloated with exaggeration. “What gave it away? The gunshot?”

“I’m sure it was just a warning shot.”

“Is there any such thing in Salem County?” Clint asks, and I sigh.

Where the fuck is Jay Leer?

I go to bed and resign myself to knocking on the Hardings’ door in the morning. Apparently, there is no other way to find out what is going on. Maybe it won’t be awful…horrendous…catastrophic. Maybe Jay is safe and sound and the Hardings are actually much kinder than they appear. This is yet another shitty plan.

I wake up and remember the one person who always knows what’s going on.

I check the clock and ignore the fact that it’s 7:30 a.m. I dial Margo and pray she answers.

“What’s wrong?” she asks after answering on the second ring. My poor friends. Something is always wrong with Charlotte.

“I need a favor.”

“Anything. But why do you need it before sunrise?”

“I need you to find out where Jason’s son is,” I say, and there’s nothing but silence on the other end of the line.

“Oh.” Margo says. She must think I’m as crazy as the rest of my support group. “Where is he living?”

“I thought with Stephanie’s parents, but I haven’t seen or heard a word of him. I asked Nadine and she has no idea. She said Janice doesn’t like to discuss anything that has to do with Stephanie whenever she’s in for her hair. I’ve asked at church. I’ve watched the house. He’s not in any of the day cares, he never goes outside, and I don’t think he has any friends—”

“Okay, okay, I’ll see what I can find out. Does Nick know about this quest?”

“He knows. He knows everything now,” I say, and Margo promises to get back to me as soon as she finds something.

It’s a long day and a half before I hear from her, but Margo finally calls. I’m carrying Kate upstairs to bed when I hear Noble answer my cell phone. He follows me up and trades me my phone for Kate. The two of them seem happy with the new arrangement. I take my phone into the bedroom, hoping for good news.

“It’s bad,” she says, and my heart drops. I stay silent, unable to figure out what to say. “I had to promise my cousin I wouldn’t tell anyone this, especially you. I don’t know what you plan on doing with the information but try and keep my name out of it.

“I will and thank you. I know it’s hard to go against family.”

“Yeah, well, you’re my family, too.”

I warm at Margo’s words, but I’m still half sick.

“They’re very angry about Stephanie’s arrest and conviction.” No surprise there. “They absolutely hate Jason and blame him for her current situation. His son is a constant reminder of him. It doesn’t help that he looks just like him,” Margo says apologetically.

I swallow hard. Why can’t he be at an aunt’s in Tennessee?